Secrets and Lies
by viper-sindel
Summary: Akalia Sapphirano is a simple girl... or so she appears. Starts back in the Pendulum Arc and follows the series through the defeat of Aizen. Follow young Akalia as she becomes a Soul Reaper, falls in love, suffers loss, and faces dark decisions no one should make. ShinjiXOC in the end.
1. Introductions

"Hey Red!" called my friend, teasingly, walking up to wrap an arm around my shoulders. I chuckled and wrapped mine around his waist.

This man was called Raphiel Demenez, or as I called him, Kit. He was gorgeous, even by gay standards. He had short, naturally spiked hair. It was black, though it had a blue tint in the right light. His eyes were a gorgeous royal blue and his skin was always darkly tanned. He did so love the outdoors, didn't matter what time of year. He was built, every inch of him carved with sculpted muscle. He was tall, almost six foot.

Me? My name was Akalia Sapphirano. My hair was waist-length and a dark, deep red. At times, it almost looked black. My figure was athletic, thanks to Kit. He was always convincing me to go to the gym or the park or for long hikes. I had a generous bust, about a Double-D, and my hips were blessed. I stood at 5 feet, 5 inches. Kit loved towering over me. My skin was tan, but not nearly as dark as his. However, it was my eyes that gave me my nickname. My eyes were red. A dark, deep color, almost flowing like dark red wine.

"What's got you in a good mood?" I teased, grinning up at him. He grinned back.

"Last day in this damned academy, that's what!" he replied, releasing me to run forward with his fists in the air, yelling like a madman. "FREEDOM!"

I laughed, along with several other classmates.

"Oof!"

I laughed harder as he fell back on his ass, nursing his new bloody nose.

"Pole jump out and getcha?" I teased, making him flush and shoot me a playfully dirty look before glaring at the offending obstruction in his path.

It was not the first time Kit had run into that EXACT same pole. I swear he forgot about it at least twice a day. Still giggling, I went over and picked him up, reaching up to heal his nose… again.

"Damn thing has it out for me, I swear!" he grumbled. "Has my dearest Red chosen a squad yet?"

"Yeah, like any squad's gonna want that freak!" shot out one of our classmates. Kit glared at her, all jovial mood gone. I said nothing… mainly because I knew she was mostly right. I'd only had one squad invitation… and it was only due to my high performance in my classes.

Squad Six Captain Kuchiki had sent an acceptance letter to me. I had been grateful, but I knew I'd almost never get to see Kit now. Kit had been invited to squads two, seven, nine, eleven, and thirteen. He hadn't decided yet which one he was going to join, though he had sent out a request to join squad six with me. We were waiting on the reply. From what I understood, the requests were handled by Kouga Kuchiki, the third-seat and son-in-law of the Captain… and he only accepted the best.

Kouga Kuchiki. I'd only met him thrice. He had quite the reputation, especially his zanpakuto. Muramasa was legendary, a name to be whispered in the dark of night like a bad memory. Me? I'd been nursing a crush on Kouga since his first visit… and Muramasa since he first manifested on Kouga's second visit. On that particular visit, the secret I'd been hiding about my zanpakuto had been revealed, my spirit having been manifested by Muramasa during a training duel. I'd been grateful that only my Shikai had been revealed at that time, glad my zanpakuto had enough sense not to reveal all of our secrets at once.

Durnehviir was nearly beaten that day, but I just couldn't run him through to end the match. When Kouga had inquired as to why I hesitated to dominate my weapon, I had told him the absolute truth. Without Durnehviir, I could not claim to be a Soul Reaper. Durnehviir was my friend, my family, my partner, and part of myself. Just as I could never strike him down, he could not bring himself to give me the finishing blow, either. Muramasa, though he'd said nothing, had given us a very strange expression, like something about us puzzled him. Kouga told me that to treat my weapon as a person was to become dependent upon it… and with such an understanding, I would never achieve true power as a Soul Reaper, that I would never achieve Bankai.

Neither Durnehviir nor I bothered to tell him we already had, though the look in Muramasa's eyes told me he knew. It was shortly after that visit… that I had received my acceptance letter to Squad Six. I knew right away that had been Muramasa's doing, not Kouga's.

I would go for my placement duel in the morning, but tonight, I was getting my graduation party, courtesy of Kit and a few his friends. I say his friends… because they were not mine. The only friend I could count as my own was him.

"You're thinking awful hard again," he teased. "About a certain third seat?"

I blushed and shoved him, looking away.

"No!" I denied immediately, my voice coming out louder than I'd intended, making him laugh.

"Admit it!" he teased, then began to sing mockingly. "You think he's gorgeous! You want to date him! Make love and marry—mmph!"

My face so red I wasn't sure if I could die yet, I shoved my glove in his mouth, gagging him. Seconds later, he laughed, uproariously as I tried to walk away from him quickly.

"Hold on! Wait up! C'mon Red! I'm sure Kuchiki isn't ahead of us so you can slow down!"

"KIT!"

My mortified yell of course only made him laugh harder as he raced after me.

* * *

The next morning, Kit and I both reported to the training grounds of Squad Six… and had both dueled the third seat, Kouga. I had come so close to beating him again, but he pulled a last-minute kido on me that knocked me to the ground for good, making me curse lowly at the force behind it, making Kouga quirk a brow and the Captain give me a scolding look, both looks making me blush and look away.

"Rankings will be posted in the morning," the Captain stated.

"Gods, I'm so glad they let you in," I told Kit, looking over the other classmates. Quite a few of them were people that had made fun of me a lot for my eyes. He grinned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Like I'd let you go anywhere without me," he teased. I growled with a low blush and slapped his chest hard. "Ow…"

His fake-wince made a few older members chuckle.

"Miss Sapphirano?"

I turned back around.

"Third seat?" I inquired softly, surprised he was taking time to talk to me at all.

"That was a well-fought duel," he told me. "But you may want to increase your Hakuda. Your physical strength is lacking quite a bit for field work."

I nodded and smiled.

"Will do, sir," I said, then started to leave with Kit again.

"And Miss Sapphirano?"

I looked back at him once more.

"It's just Kouga, not sir," he told me. Now I grinned.

"By your orders," I teased, my grin growing as he smiled, taking it good-naturedly. "Then I insist you call me Akalia, not Miss Sapphirano."

He nodded and then let us leave.

"All right, Red," Kit said, throwing his arm around my shoulders again. "Where shall we head?"

"Dunno," I answered. "Might try to find the barracks."

He nodded and we headed off, following the crudely drawn map we were given at initiation. All of us that had just graduated would be sleeping in the same quarters, unless someone became a seated officer. Seated officers had their own rooms elsewhere, still in dorm-form, but the captains and lieutenants had their own buildings. They were like miniature houses, complete with their own baths, kitchens, and living space.

"This is it!" Kit said finally, standing in the room where some of our classmates stood. I'd noted that there was but a single bunk left open, seeing as to how this squad had accepted more members than it had room for again. Fortunately, it was a bottom bunk.

"Guess we're sharing a bunk," I stated, tossing my things onto it right next to Kit's. He grinned at me.

"Don't steal all the covers," he teased. I grinned back.

"Don't hog the bed," I shot back. He laughed as we slowly unpacked, taking our shared dresser. After unpacking (joking and laughing the whole time), we left the barracks.

"—and I was like, I know, right?" I was saying, laughing with Kit. "And then she said—oof!"

It was like hitting a brick wall, making me stumble back a few steps, letting Kit catch my shoulders to steady me.

"Who the bloody hell put a wall there?" I snapped, rubbing my nose and forehead. I heard Kit snickering and flushed dark red, realizing I had NOT just hit a wall. Warily, I opened my eyes and my blush got darker as my mortification grew.

"Kouga!" I said, surprised. "Sorry, I didn't see you!"

"I noticed," was his calm reply. "Though I'm sure I'm not a wall."

My blush got darker and I looked away from his amused features.

"It was brought to my attention that we had more people than beds," he explained.

"Ah, we're used to that," I told him, waving dismissively. "Isn't the first time we've shared living quarters… I usually end up in his bed anyway, be it for warmth or comfort."

At Kouga's amused yet appalled expression, I blushed darker than before and Kit laughed at my expense.

"NOT LIKE THAT!"

My voice echoed off the walls in my embarrassment, only serving to embarrass me further as other squad members glanced over at us.

"Oh god… just shoot me now," I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. Kit was full on laughing now. Kouga took a few moments to recover, though I noted a light blush on his own cheeks.

"As I was saying," he pressed on, clearing his throat to try and recover some form of control. "As we are short on a bed, the captain has ordered that the two of you sleep in the empty quarters reserved for the next set of graduates, three doors down on your left."

"Thanks, that would be great," I managed to get out, still openly mortified. Then paused. "Kouga?"

He stopped walking and looked back at me.

"What can a body do around here for fun?" I asked. He smiled.

"Well, there's the local tavern that most Soul Reapers frequent on their off hours," he suggested, but went on at my less-than-enthused look. "Some train in off-hours… And if neither of those suits you, you can head down to the market and look around."

He started chuckling.

"Guessing from your expression, those do not appeal to you," he stated.

"Less people, more peaceful," I stated. That made him grin.

"Then you want either the archives or Sokyoku Hill," he answered.

"Isn't that the execution grounds?" I asked. He nodded.

"It's also the best-known make-out spot in the Seireitei," he revealed, making me blush bright red and Kit roar in laughter.

"Why the hell would I go to make-out-hill?!" I objected immediately, partially embarrassed and partially insulted. Kouga was surprised for a moment, then relaxed with an apologetic smile.

"Oh, forgive me," he said, putting both hands up in surrender. "I made an untrue assumption, I believe."

My jaw dropped, realizing what he meant.

"Y-you thought Kit and I—OH MY GOD!"

My voice echoed again as I continued to alternate between "ewww" and "no, no, no, no, no" and "gods no" as I paced back and forth, shaking my head fervently. That only served to make Kit laugh even harder and Kouga blush as I was drawing unnecessary attention. Finally, I stopped and turned to Kit, looking completely devastated.

"Is that what people think of us, of me?" I asked, my voice on the verge of hysterical.

"What's going on over here?"

A lazy voice only served to make Kouga blush darker, a look of true embarrassment on his features and Kit started laughing even harder.

"Captain Hirako," he greeted. "Apologies."

The new guy was a Captain? I was about to be embarrassed, but I saw Sosuke Aizen behind him and immediately darted over, grabbing his arm.

"Do people really think Kit and I are dating?!" I demanded, horrified at the very idea. Sosuke started to laugh.

"Is that what all this fuss is about?" he asked, amused. I growled and gripped his arms with my hands, shaking him.

"Not the time for jokes!" I snapped. "Is. *shake* That. *shake* What. *shake* People. *shake* Think. *shake*"

Sosuke put his hands on my shoulders, to hold himself steady, a warm smile on his face.

"So what if they do?" he asked me. "If we know it's not true, does it matter what they think?"

"YES!" I said immediately, gripping my hair as if to pull it out. I'd forgotten how annoyingly thick-headed this guy was. "If they think WE'RE dating, guys will think I'm taken and then I'll NEVER get a real date with a gorgeous hottie and I'll end up an old hag with um-teen cats that knits sweaters and eats more cat food than real food and—WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?!"

Sosuke, Kit, Captain Hirako, and Kouga were ALL laughing at me now. Kit was hanging onto the wall, hunched over. Kouga and Captain Hirako were leaning on each other, trying to stay upright. Sosuke was trying to hide his laughter. I blushed darkly while my irritation grew.

"You guys are terrible!" I grumbled, crossing my arms and pouting, which only served to make them laugh all the louder.

"Oh Red," Kit wheezed. "You're always good for a laugh! Hahaha!"

I was well past red at this point.

"I really need to get a new reputation," I stated, starting to think. "Now… how to do that… Kit… I really need more friends…"

He laughed again.

"You? Make friends?"

I punched his shoulder for his teasing, making him grin and rub his OTHER shoulder.

"Ow!" he teased, making me punch his gut this time. While he still laughed, he doubled-over.

"It could happen!" I defended myself.

"With your violent tendencies… they'll all be from the eleventh division," Kit teased, getting hit again. "See what I mean?"

He was still laughing, so I knew he was joking.

"Well, there is the festival tomorrow night," suggested Kouga. My attention perked.

"Festival?" I repeated.

"It's complete with a masquerade ball, put on by the Women's Association," Sosuke put in. I began to pace as I thought about it, thinking aloud.

"That could be effective… but I hate crowds, hell, people in general… and I'd have to get all dressed up and find a mask in time and—"

"If you need a gown and mask, I'm sure my wife could help you shop for one," Kouga offered. "She's going shopping later on with Captain Yoruichi Shihoin. I'm sure they wouldn't have a problem bringing you along."

I turned to him, my face all sparkles and glowing as I clasped my hands in front of me, making him take a step back in surprise.

"Would you?!" I asked. "That would be awesome!"

"I'll ask her right away," he told me, quickly walking away.

"Kouga, you're the best third seat ever!" I said, jumping up and down in excitement, hugging Kit in my excitement, making him laugh and jump around with me. Sosuke and his captain were shaking their heads. I paused and looked over at Sosuke.

"Speaking of which, I'll need a date for that dance," I stated, snagging his arm. "Can I take you this time? Please!"

I gave him the best puppy-dog face I could and he chuckled.

"Yes, I can go with you," he told me.

"Sweetness!" I cheered, hugging him, before turning and dragging Kit off into the Seireitei. "Now we just gotta get YOU a date, Kit, my sweet!"

Kit laughed, knowing as well as I did that he had his own fan-club. It wouldn't be hard for him to get a date.

* * *

I was a raw ball of nerves as I approached the rankings. I was crazy nervous.

"I can't do this," I whispered suddenly and turned around to run.

WHAM!

I stumbled back in surprise, holding my nose and head.

"THRICE DAMNED WALLS!"

Immediately, laughter rang all around me, making me blush darkly.

"Please tell me I didn't," I whimpered, getting chuckles from the person in front of me. Now fully mortified, I opened my eyes to see Kouga laughing at me again.

"Kouga," I said sheepishly, then recovered with a grin. "We REALLY need to stop meeting like this."

He chuckled.

"RED!" Kit cried, scooping me up into a great big hug, making me yelp and hang on for dear life as he spun my flimsy body around. "YOU DID IT!"

I punched him in the gut and he dropped me.

"THAT WAS MY EAR!"

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HIT ME!"

"LIKE HELL I DIDN'T! I CAN'T HEAR NOW, YOU JERK!"

Someone cleared their throat and I was reminded that Kouga was still standing here. I blushed darkly and scratched the back of my head.

"Um… hehe… Sorry," I said sheepishly, making him snicker again.

"I'm going to assume that I should get used to more of these episodes with you two around," he teased, making my blush darken. Kit wrapped his arm around my shoulders, leaning on me exaggeratedly, making my knees buckle.

"Somebody's gotta keep the funny around here," he answered with a grin, then looked at me. "You got sixth seat."

"Huh?"

I swear my brain went dead.

"Sixth seat," Kit repeated, a grin making its way onto his face. "The rankings, remember? The ones you were about to cop out from seeing when you ran into our third seat again."

That computed as I blushed darkly.

"I was not going to cop out," I denied. "I was… just waiting for the crowd to thin out."

Kit laughed.

"If that's your story," he teased, making me narrow my eyes at him and stick my tongue out. He grinned and waved his finger at me.

"Now don't go putting that out there unless you intend to use it," he teased. Blushing dark red, I hit him in the gut, making him wheeze as I stomped away, my fists at my side in my embarrassment, muttering the whole way about my rather irritating best friend.

"And you're muttering again," Sosuke stated, coming out of the middle of nowhere. I jumped clean out of my skin with a high-pitched yelp. I whirled to face him with a glare, my hands on my hips.

"What are you trying to do?" I scolded. "Put me into cardiac arrest?"

He chuckled and gave me a few minutes.

"What time did you want me to come get you tonight, for the festival?" he asked. I smiled softly.

"Five-thirty sound okay?" I asked. He nodded. "Great! Best wing-man ever!"

"Wing man?" repeated Sosuke, quirking a brow. "Not as your date?"

I blushed.

"Did you want it to be a real date and not just a pity date for a girl with no friends?" I asked. Again, I'd managed to surprise him.

"You thought it was a pity date?" he asked. I nodded, blushing a bit darker… then I looked away from him, feeling my shame welling up.

"Sorry," I said, running my fingers through my hair. "That's just what… well… what most of my dates are."

He sighed with a smile.

"Akalia, how long have we known each other?" he asked.

"About seven years," I answered immediately. "Not that I'm counting."

He just smiled warmly.

"Do you really think someone that's known you that long would take you out on a pity date?" he asked me. Immediately, I had an answer.

"Micah's known me for twenty and he gave me a pity date," I stated, playing with my hair, not able to look Sosuke in the eyes. Sosuke sighed again.

"I think we can both agree that Micah is shallow and foolish," he commented. "Akalia, this is NOT a pity date. I hope by the end of tonight that you will know the difference between the two."

Then he took my hand and kissed the back of it before taking his leave.

"Until five-thirty," he said, as he walked away.

I stood there for a few minutes, just blushing darkly and remembering those velvet lips on my hand.

"Gah!" I said, snapping out of it, slapping myself. "Don't go turning into one of those hopeless romantics, Akalia! Don't you do it!"

"Don't do what?" Kit asked, making me jump again.

"GODS BLESS IT! STOP SCARING ME LIKE THAT! WOULD IT KILL YOU GUYS TO MAKE A LITTLE NOISE, TO ANNOUNCE YOUR PRESENCE BEFORE SCARING THE HELL OUTTA SOMEBODY?!"

Kit just laughed, irritating me all the more.


	2. Doubting Friends

"Captain's looking for you," he told me. I growled and hit him before making my way to the office. There, Ginrei sat at his desk, the lieutenant across from him, both deep in paperwork.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" I asked. Ginrei nodded and gestured for me to have a seat.

"I want you to understand the duties and responsibilities of our sixth seat," he stated. "First off, you are in charge of arranging patrols through our area. These are our last sixth seat's schedules."

I took them and gladly accepted the folder I was given by the lieutenant to keep it all together.

"Secondly, it is your task to keep the paperwork delivery both orderly and efficient," he stated. "Our squad is well known for its superior cleanliness and order among other squads. I will expect a full report if there are any incidents involving our squad that would affect our appearance to all others. We have a reputation to uphold."

I nodded.

"Lastly, you are in charge of relief squad five," he went on. "That means, when the other four squads are out on missions or have just returned, it is your squad's job to perform the duties of the mission through to completion."

"Understood, sir," I said. "You are very generous and I will do my best to ensure such kindness is rewarded."

He nodded, a rare smile crossing his features.

"Have fun at the festival," he told me. "Before you become an old hag with um-teen cats."

I blushed darkly in embarrassment, hearing the lieutenant's snickers, a few of my own giggles escaping at my own foolishness.

"I intend to, sir," I answered, bowing out before I could get even more embarrassed.

"Before you go, I need these papers delivered to the ninth," the lieutenant said, handing me a stack. "And these to the tenth and these to the fifth."

I nodded, taking them, keeping them separate by having them laying opposite ways, horizontal for one, vertical for the next. With a smile, I headed off towards the ninth, making my way to their office, occasionally asking directions when I got lost.

"—then why the hell are you standing around?!" came a male voice.

"I'm not the one ignoring my paperwork, Kensei!" shot back a female voice.

"But that's woman's work!" the man stated. I just KNEW that wasn't going to blow over well.

"WHAT WAS THAT, KENSEI?" the woman screamed. "So because I'm a woman I'm supposed to do everything for you, is that it?!"

I knocked on the door, glad for a damn good reason to interrupt.

"Come in!" the gruff male voice called. I walked in to see a green-haired woman glaring daggers at a white-haired captain. Granted, he was also giving her the evil eye.

"Paperwork from the sixth," I said, placing it on the captain's desk and then turned and took my leave. Shortly after I left, the argument started right back up, making me roll my eyes. With a smile, I walked on down the way to squad ten, dropped off my paperwork, and then made my way to the fifth.

Oh, the fifth… Sweet Sosuke. He'd been such a wonderful friend over the years. He never treated me poorly because of my eyes, never looked down on me (unless I really deserved it). Sosuke was just as important to me as Kit was. I was not ashamed to admit that, in the excitement of getting to see him, I was skipping on my way to the fifth division.

"Well, well, well," came a female voice, full of mock and malice. "If it isn't the Seireitei's resident freak."

I frowned and stopped skipping, choosing to walk on towards my destination, not to give her any satisfaction.

"I heard she's going to the festival tonight."

"Probably had to get another pity date from Micah!"

"I can't believe he gave her one in the first place! Worst date ever, he said!"

"Yeah, couldn't scrub himself hard enough to get off the feeling of her hand on his arm."

Laughter erupted from the girls. I tilted my head a bit, feeling tears sting my eyes, hiding them behind my hair. I walked a bit faster… for all the good it did. My tormentors merely followed.

"Did you hear? She got into the sixth squad because no one else would take her!"

"What a loser!"

"Even the court guard squads don't want that freak!"

Against my will, a tear slid down my cheek, down my chin… followed by another… and another…

"Akalia!"

I couldn't even look up. I was now ashamed of my tears and desperately tried to wipe them away, only for more to replace them.

"Lieutenant!" the women chorused, surprised and taken back. There was a quick scrambling of feet as they all hurried to hide their earlier behavior.

"Lieutenant, are you going to the festival?" asked one of them.

"I am," he answered, having finally reached me, stopping in front of me. "I'm going with dearest Akalia."

"Seriously?"

"You're kidding!"

"That's just a pity date, right?"

"Yeah, you could do so much better, Aizen!"

The girls' words didn't even phase him.

"If you'll excuse us, ladies," he said, taking my hand in his own and gently pulling me after him. Only after we were in the office did he let go and tilt my face up, slowly. He frowned, seeing my tears, and started wiping them away.

"Don't let them get to you," he told me softly.

"But they're ri—"

"They're not right," he corrected me, sternly. "And don't you ever think it."

"If you want to back out, now's your chance," I reminded him, my heart squeezing painfully. "Being seen with me is not good for one's reputation."

"And cancelling a date is worse," he argued calmly. "I'm not backing out… now, what brought you out here?"

I sniffled, but held up the papers.

"From my division," I said. "I was made sixth seat, so making sure all mail and paperwork go efficiently is my task."

"As are patrols, if I remember correctly," Sosuke put in. I nodded and held up the folder.

"I was going to look at these later… but I really don't want to go back out there…"

He smiled gently and had me sit down on the couch. As I got a grip on my emotions, stopping my tears, he made me some tea, handing me a cup.

"Chamomile… thank you, Sosuke," I said softly, sipping on it. He sat down next to me and took the folder, looking over the old plans for patrols.

"These are sloppy," he stated. "There are too many openings…"

Then he took a pencil and began to make marks on the map of my division, marking different patrol routes. For the next two hours, we discussed changes to the routes and different types of patrols. He helped me find the most efficient routes and uses for our men that he could. By the time I was ready to leave, I was calm again and full of confidence.

"It's lunchtime," Sosuke noted. "Captain, would you mind if I took my lunch break now?"

Captain Hirako just waved him off and Sosuke offered me his hand. I smiled and took it, letting him lead me out the door. Knowing everyone was watching, he took me to a nearby restaurant. It was packed with Soul Reapers, but he managed to find us a table alone.

"Just like old times," I commented with a smile. He smiled back and relaxed.

"I'm sorry people treat you so poorly," he said softly. "I will do everything I can to ensure that no one will make fun of you again."

"Sosuke…"

I was touched by his thoughtfulness, but shook my head with a smile.

"Don't worry about me, okay?" I told him softly, squeezing his hand lightly. I smiled at him warmly. "I've got you… That's enough for me. You always make me feel better."

That made him smile briefly, but only that.

"Still, those were members of my own division," he commented. "I'll deal with them later… That is not proper behavior for a Soul Reaper."

I sighed with a smile.

"No matter what I say, you're going to get involved in this, aren't you?" I asked ruefully. He just smiled and chose not to answer.

We spent the rest of lunch just talking and laughing. I almost died when he told me about the time he'd shaved his Captain's head while he slept. Hirako had been absolutely furious and devastated. Just imagining that had me in stiches.

When we walked back to his division's office, we passed those insulting girls again. However, since Sosuke was with me, they seemed to not want to speak up much.

"Back so soon?" Hirako asked, giving Sosuke an unenthused look.

"Forgive me, Captain, but it would seem I need to have a word or two with some division members," Sosuke told him, then looked at me. "Would you be willing to handle some of the paperwork while I'm gone so that it still gets done?"

I nodded, accepted his hug, and then sat down in his desk while he left. It was silent for a while as I simply filled out each form accordingly and sorted and filed more.

"You don't like him," I stated out of the blue, making Hirako look at me. "Sosuke, I mean. It's how you act. If you don't like him, why did you make him your lieutenant?"

He didn't answer.

"You certainly don't treat him like your lieutenant," I went on. "All the other captains at least KNOW their lieutenants… so why don't you?"

He scratched the back of his head.

"Why so many questions?" he asked lazily. I chuckled.

"Curiosity gets the better of me sometimes," I admitted, then changed the subject. "Sosuke mentioned that you liked Jazz, music from the living world."

"Do you?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I've never heard it," I answered honestly. "But I love music… I'm sure that's why Sosuke wanted me to ask you about Jazz… He's always trying to get me to make more friends… and music is a common denominator for many conversation starters… Would I be permitted to hear some of that music, Captain?"

He shrugged and walked over to a weird device. After hitting a switch, a new, interesting type of music filled the office. After a few moments of working in silence, I smiled.

"Sosuke was right," I commented softly. "I DO like Jazz."

"Is that so?"

I nodded.

"It has a nice flow," I stated. "And a smooth sound."

I closed my eyes for a moment, just listening to the beautiful tones flowing from his device.

"They're playing this stuff all over the place in the living world," he told me. "I heard it last time I went for a mission… and loved it ever since."

"What else do you like?"

That made him start, my eyes looking at him inquisitively.

"Well—"

"I'm back," Sosuke said as he swept into the office. As he heard the music, he smiled at me. "Was I right?"

I nodded, smiling.

"It's almost as beautiful as the soundscapes you brought me last time," I replied. "But I should head back to my division now."

"Here," the Captain said, handing me a stack of papers. "These go to your division."

I nodded and took them.

"It was a pleasure to speak with you, Captain Hirako," I told him, then hugged Sosuke and took my leave. I flash-stepped back to the office and knocked.

"Come on in, Miss Sapphirano," Ginrei called. I smiled and obeyed, handing over the paperwork. "Lieutenant Aizen stopped by to tell me you had some trouble on your rounds… but you have come up with some new patrols?"

I nodded and began to explain them. After about thirty minutes, Ginrei approved them and sent me on my way. I gathered my things and started to head out, meaning to tell each of the patrols their new orders.

"Akalia… this isn't paperwork."

I looked back at Ginrei, confused. He held up a single sheet of paper, folded twice. Curious, I took it and opened it slowly.

Immediately, I blushed darkly. On it, was a set of digits. I knew this writing was not Sosuke's… so that left one person.

Amused and embarrassed, I took the paper and left the office. Shortly after, I paused half-way to my barracks and pulled out my communicator, pushing in the digits I'd been given.

"So, you did find it," came the captain's voice, making me blush darkly.

"Actually, Ginrei did," I answered, making the man chuckle. "Why on earth did you give me your digits, Captain Hirako?"

"Am I not allowed to talk to a beautiful girl?" he teased, making me blush, but frown.

"Now I know you're crazy," I stated. "I'm not beautiful."

"Sheesh. You really ARE down on yourself, aren't you?"

I frowned and shifted uneasily.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Sosuke," he cut into my thoughts. I frowned more.

"Are you going to tell me why you don't like him?" I asked. He sighed.

"Look, I don't know how long you've known him, but I'd stay away from him," he told me. "It's not safe… and you can't trust him."

"On what grounds do you make that accusation?" I asked, my voice full of disapproval. "I've known Sosuke for years. He has never once led me to believe I couldn't trust him or that he wasn't safe."

The Captain sighed in vexation.

"Akalia, just trust me on this, okay?"

I frowned fully.

"Goodbye, Captain Hirako."

Then I hung up. I couldn't believe he had something so negative to say about Sosuke! Granted, I knew Sosuke was no saint, but I could trust him!

Couldn't I?

Against my will, the captain's words began to eat at me.


	3. The Festival

I was blushing something awful as I walked into the training grounds where Kouga was working with some of the lower-class soul reapers. He saw me and called for a break, much to the relief and cheers of his trainees.

"Akalia," he greeted, once I'd walked over. "What's got you so embarrassed?"

That just made me blush even darker as I looked to the side.

"I just realized I've accepted a date to the festival, including the dance," I answered quickly, my words seeming to rush together. "And I forgot that I don't know how to dance."

After a few seconds, he finally puzzled out what I'd said… and started laughing.

"Seriously?" he asked, making me blush even darker as he laughed again. "Oh, Akalia!"

"So, with that in mind, can you save me from further embarrassment?" I asked, finally looking at him.

"You could always cancel," he suggested, making me flinch. He chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'll teach you how to dance."

I sagged in relief and hugged him tight.

"Oh thank god!" I breathed. "You're a life-saver!"

"Great," he teased. "Now I'm hard AND delicious!"

I blushed darkly… and so did he after a moment, realizing what he'd just said.

"I was talking about the candy!" he said quickly, making me laugh in embarrassment. After a few seconds, he started laughing too.

And people wondered why everyone loved Kouga.

* * *

After having gotten so worked up over that call, I had a hell of time calming my nerves for Sosuke's arrival in ten minutes. My mind was swimming with questions, especially questions about Sosuke.

I paced back and forth, trying to push those thoughts away so I could enjoy the evening, but for some reason I could not. They kept tormenting me, torturing me.

"Akalia?"

I jumped nearly out of my skin, my hand going to my heart.

"Goddess, Sosuke! You nearly scared me to death!"

"What's on your mind?" he asked, concerned. I struggled for a while. "You can tell me. You always can tell me."

Ah, hell with it…

I told him about his captain's warning… then about the subsequent inability to get it out of my head. He had listened as I'd paced and told him, had said not a word… though now he wore a slight frown.

"Do you really doubt me?" he asked, his voice quiet.

"No!" I answered immediately… only to frown. "Yes… I don't know, Sosuke… Part of me doesn't…"

I shook my head, feeling terrible.

"And I feel guilty about thinking such things about you," I admitted. "You're my best friend!"

Suddenly, I could hear his heartbeat, could feel the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. There, in his arms, I could feel my uncertainties melt away.

"Sosuke…" I whispered, then burrowed my head in his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive," he assured me. "Though I should ask you to forgive me as it was my fault for asking you to get to know my captain. Had I not, he would not have placed such vile thoughts in your head."

"I mean, I know you're no saint," I said quietly. "Lord knows I've seen you slaughter people just because they were no longer of use… but you've never been that way to me… I'd like to think that I, at the least, can trust you… just to be you… even though I know that you will hurt me, too."

"I do not intend to," he admitted, resting his head on my own. "But I know I will without meaning to… and for that, I will always ask you to forgive me."

I nodded and looked up at him. His brown eyes looked down at me, his glasses gone for the night. I never understood why he even put them on when he didn't need glasses.

"Are you ready to go, my dearest Akalia?" he asked me softly. I nodded with a smile, taking the offered arm as he led me out of my quarters, down the street, and over to the festival.

"Red?" asked Kit, looking surprised. I was dressed in a black silk kimono, dark red lining the sleeves, seams, and pockets. I had my hair up in a birdcage, braid bun, my make-up done sparsely, my earrings crimson dragon eyes set in gold. I'd also worn a pair of sandals that gave me an extra inch of height but that was it.

"Whoa… I might need some water cause you are smokin'!" Kit teased me. I blushed and smiled softly.

"Now that I think about it, I never did take a good look at you," Sosuke stated quietly. "You're always so beautiful, no matter how you're dressed."

I blushed darker as he let his eyes ghost over me.

"That kimono suits you perfectly, my dear," he told me. "It's almost as beautiful as you."

Then he kissed my hand, making me blush darkly again.

"Sosuke…" I protested, half-heartedly, embarrassed. He chuckled and relented.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me. I nodded and he smiled, leading me over to the food stand, put on by the women's association. Standing behind the counter was the captain of squad 12 and her lieutenant.

"Some rice balls?" the captain asked warmly.

"Please," Sosuke answered, gratefully buying some for us. I blushed when he held one up to me, holding it in such a way that left no doubt that he was NOT actually giving it to me. The look in his eyes also confirmed this.

Slowly, I took a bite and made sure to nibble his fingers as I slid my mouth away from the offered edible. He smiled, telling me that had pleased him greatly, as he took a bite out of the same ball as well. Having finished my bite, he offered me another one. The rest of those rice balls were eaten the same way, him feeding me and me blushing with every bite.

As we walked on, occasionally stopping to enjoy games, I could hear the comments left and right.

"Is that Lieutenant Aizen? Who's his date?"

"Who the hell is she?"

"Aizen's looking delicious tonight."

So far, no one had truly recognized me.

"Sapphirano?!"

The incredulous shout got nearly everyone's attention, including Sosuke and I's. We both looked over to see Cimorene. She looked downright scandalized.

"What's a freak like you doing in a place like this?" she asked, her voice full of venom. "Oh, don't look at me like that. You can change your clothes, do your hair… but you'll always be a freak. What illusion did you use to get Aizen here with you? Clearly he is NOT in his right mind."

Sosuke's arm went around my shoulders, though I could feel his anger in the light grip he had on my shoulder.

"Sosuke," I said softly, pleadingly. "Just let it go."

I knew he could hear the hurt in my voice, knew he knew how deeply her words were cutting me.

"Akalia!"

My eyes snapped over to see Kouga coming towards us with his wife.

"Glad you made it," he said, smiling softly.

"I knew that kimono would look good on you," his wife said softly, making me blush.

"Yes, thank you," I told her. "But your beauty far outshines my own. Kouga's lucky to have you."

She glowed at my praise and smiled warmly.

"You are too kind," she told me, then pulled her husband away. He went with, shooting me a grin and a wave. I smiled softly.

"Aizen," greeted the next voice. This time, it was Captain Hirako. When Hirako turned his gaze to me, he did a double-take. Then, in highly exaggerated fashion, he pulled me close and hugged me tight. "Oh, my young beauty! You got all dressed up just for me? I'm flattered!"

I was well past scarlet now, trying to push him off of me.

"You're a fitting beauty for my first love!" he went on, making my eyes widen and my blush darken. There was no way he was serious!

SMACK!

He went flying to the side as a sandal nailed him in the cheek.

"Get off of her, you damned pervert!"

The lieutenant of squad 12 stood there, huffing in annoyance.

"Don't let it get to you," the Captain of squad nine said, walking up. "He calls all the pretty girls his first love."

I blushed even darker, realizing this guy had just called me pretty, too. He realized it a second later and blushed lightly.

"I meant girls HE thinks are pretty," he quickly stammered. "His tastes and mine are COMPLETELY different!"

That stung a little.

"I think you protest too much," Sosuke told him calmly. "I won't blame you… Akalia is very beautiful."

My blush darkened, knowing that look in his eyes. He'd been very serious when he'd said that.

"Sosuke…" I protested quietly. "You're embarrassing me…"

He just smiled and chuckled at me.

"Shall we head for the dance?" he asked me, pulling on a mask. It was only to cover his eyes, but gave him the look of a black wolf.

How fitting. Anyone that knew him as I did knew he fit that mask perfectly. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing, a man that appeared calm and kind… but in truth was not. I knew Sosuke loved to manipulate people around him… but I couldn't ever recall a time when he'd done anything of the sort with me.

Slowly, I pulled on my own mask. Mine also only covered my eyes. It was covered in black sequins and accented with red feathers. I had no idea what it was supposed to be, but it had matched my kimono so I'd taken it.

"A perfect touch," Sosuke told me and I took the offered arm, letting him lead me to the dance. There, he pulled me straight to the dancefloor and started to waltz. We were catching eyes all through the room as he danced with me.

"They're all staring at us," I whispered, blushing darkly. Sosuke chuckled.

"I had forgotten there was anyone else here," he told me, his eyes telling me he'd meant that as well. "Akalia… I—"

"Mind if I cut in?" asked Captain Hirako, appearing in a white and gold mask.

"Actually, I do mind," Sosuke answered, not that Hirako heard as he pulled me away, having me dance with him. Even my objections fell on deaf ears.

"Captain—"

"Shinji," he corrected me immediately. "No sense in being all formal when we aren't in a formal setting anymore."

"Fair enough," I conceded.

"I want to apologize," he told me. "Can you forgive a suspicious old man?"

I nodded.

"I'm sure I can," I answered him. "You were just looking out for me and I appreciate it… but I hold no illusions about Sosuke. I know he's no Saint… and it's because I know this… that I trust him. I already know he will hurt me, thus I have no reason to fear its coming."

My words seemed to have taken him back a bit.

"You already know…" he repeated slowly. "I see."

I danced gracefully with him, neither of us saying a word for a while.

"Do you know what he's up to?" he asked finally. I shook my head.

"Sosuke never tells me," I replied softly. "It's not that he doesn't trust me with it, or so he says. It's because he doesn't want to get me involved… He's always been like that, looking out for me first."

I shook my head with a smile.

"Lately, he keeps saying he's going to make sure that no one makes fun of me ever again," I stated, then changed the subject. "You never answered me, earlier. What other things interest you?"

He shot me a grin, relaxing. I knew he'd realized I'd changed the subject on purpose.

"Well," he said, starting to think. "I like beautiful women."

I laughed.

"That's obvious!" I teased. "With you calling every beautiful woman your 'first love' it was easy to see."

He grinned and spun me around, before pulling me back.

"And you?" he asked. "What kinds of things do you like?"

I smiled softly.

"The arts," I answered. "I've always had a deep passion for them, be it reading, writing, painting, drawing, plays, dancing, or music… I love it all."

I chuckled, seeing as to how he seemed to have already known that.

"Another like from you, mister," I prodded teasingly. He grinned.

"Comedy," he answered.

"Figures," I stated. "I always wondered where you got your material from."

He looked flabbergasted and I laughed.

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I know your material is semi-original."

"Only semi?" he asked, exaggerating his surprise just to make me laugh again. Then he calmed and smiled. "Who all do you have for friends?"

"Well, guess I can count you," I teased and he winked. "Then Sosuke, Kit, and Kouga."

"That's it?" he asked, surprised. I nodded, my smile falling away.

"It's… my eyes," I said finally. "They weird people out… and I get made-fun of a lot because of them. Then there's my zanpakuto. It goes against all the rules of the Soul Society…"

I shook my head to push those thoughts away.

"Why did you become a Soul Reaper?" he asked, changing the subject. I smiled, grateful, and he smiled back, letting me know he'd done it on purpose.

"I didn't want to," I answered honestly. "I had no desire to fight or to harm others… but I couldn't let Kit join alone. When he decided he wanted to be one, I just followed. I've never been without him by my side, so I couldn't just ignore what he wanted. Thus, here I am."

My reply seemed to take him off guard yet again.

"Why did you become a Soul Reaper, Shinji?" I asked. He grinned.

"It was so long ago… we old people tend to forget why we do a lot of things."

I laughed, realizing he'd evaded answering me again.

"You can't be that old!" I objected, laughing. He grinned.

"308 in May," he answered me, making my eyes widen.

"What day?!" I asked, excitedly.

"The tenth," he answered, seeming curious as to my excitement.

"No way! Mine's the ninth!"

Now his eyes widened.

"You're kidding!" he said. I shook my head and laughed.

"Who'd have thought?" I asked, laughing again. "So, that makes you a Taurus, too… Interesting."

Then I did some calculating…

"And you're a tiger, yes?" I asked. He nodded, seeming surprised yet again. I laughed. "How ironic…"

"What are you?" he asked.

"I'm a horse," I answered. His eyes widened for a moment again, before he laughed.

"Definitely ironic," he agreed, steering me into another dance, laughing after glancing around. "I think Sosuke's trying to burn holes in my head."

I laughed.

"Sounds like him," I agreed. "He really doesn't like you, Shinji… probably no more than you like him."

"Your birthday is in two weeks," he commented suddenly. "Have any plans?"

I shook my head.

"I never bother," I answered. "Only Kit and Sosuke ever show up… and I really don't want to make a big deal outta nothing…"

"Your birthday is not 'nothing'," he argued. "I'll plan you a little party, okay? A few friends that could easily become yours, too."

I sighed with a smile.

"And this is one way you are very like Sosuke," I said ruefully. "No matter what I say, you're going to do it anyway, aren't you?"

He just grinned and I knew I had my answer.

"Captain, I'm gonna cut in and take my date back," Sosuke said, pulling me away from Shinji. I giggled and let Sosuke whisk me away. "What on earth was he talking with you about?"

"Likes and dislikes, why we became Soul Reapers, and our birthdays are right after each other," I answered with a smile. "He's also bound and determined to give me a party. He's just like you. When you two decide something, come hell or high water, you'll see it done."

Just like Shinji, it appeared Sosuke did NOT like being compared to the other. Those two really didn't like each other… which made no sense to me. They were both so much fun! They should get along swimmingly!

"What were you saying before we got interrupted?" I asked. Sosuke smiled.

"It was not important," he replied. "Are you having fun?"

I nodded with a glowing smile.

"Best date ever!" I answered, making his smile grow. "Will there be more like this, Sosuke?"

His eyes widened momentarily.

"You want… more dates?" he asked carefully. I smiled and nodded.

"This is the most fun I've had in years!" I told him. "I never get to go out with friends like this! And I definitely don't get to spend much time with you anymore, Sosuke. Ever since you became a lieutenant, you've been so busy…"

He frowned apologetically.

"I'm sorry for that," he told me. "I just have a lot of work to do—"

"I know," I told him with a small smile. "Shinji told me."

His eyes flashed at the use of his captain's first name.

"I just miss spending time with you like this… just us," I admitted softly. "For a while there, I thought I was losing you…"

Now a flash of pain crossed his eyes, though he forced his expression to remain unclouded by his true emotions. I'd noticed that he did this a lot, hiding his true thoughts and emotions.

"I thought… you were going to leave me behind," I continued softly, looking at his chest as I could no longer look him in the eyes. "I know I can do without you… I just don't want to…"

"If things work out right, you'll never have to," he assured me, tilting my head back up to look at him. We had ceased dancing the moment the conversation had become truly serious. Now we stood in the midst of several dancing couples, just looking at each other. "I promised you that, soon, no one would ever make fun of you again. Now I make you a second promise; I promise I will not abandon you, that I will always be here for you, Akalia. No matter how busy I get, I will MAKE time just for you."

I blushed and smiled, touched.

"Sosuke…"

Wordlessly, I hugged him, glad to feel his warmth surround me.

"You're the best friend ever," I told him softly. "You make me so happy… just by being you."

He said nothing, just continued to hold me for a few minutes.

"Would you like to end this evening with a walk?" he asked me softly. I nodded, taking the offered arm as we slid out of the ballroom. With a warm smile, he started to lead me around the Seireitei. It was always so beautiful at night.

"Sosuke, will you finally let me throw you a birthday party this year?" I asked teasingly. He sighed dramatically, making me giggle.

"I suppose you can," he answered me, making me stop in mid-step, I was so surprised.

"Seriously?" I asked, making sure. He nodded with a warm smile and I whooped, jumping up to hug him around his neck excitedly, laughing. "Yay! I'll start planning now! There's the cake and the location, the guest list and theme—"

"Akalia!" he interrupted, laughing. "I'm sure it will be perfect!"

I smiled brightly and nodded.

"But of course!" I answered. "It's for you! Anything less would be an insult!"

He chuckled and continued our walk. Occasionally, we'd hear music playing or the tell-tale signs that someone was having a good time. Finally, though, we ended up in front of my quarters.

"Did you have a good night, Akalia?" he asked me softly. I smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss his cheek, making him start in surprise. I'd never done that before.

"Thank you for tonight, Sosuke," I told him softly. "It's nice to know I can always rely on you to be there for me… and to make me happy."

I hugged him softly, then turned back to my quarters.

"Goodnight," he told me softly. I turned back and smiled at him, pausing with the door half-open.

"Goodnight," I replied, then vanished within.

He was right. Now I knew the difference between a pity date and a real one.


	4. Kouga and Masa

It had been two months since the dance. Sosuke made time to see me every day, something that had made me so happy. When he wasn't with me, Shinji would often call me up, asking me to come hang out with him and his friends. Through Shinji, I'd really gotten to know Kensei, Mashiro, Love, and Hiyori. Watching Shinji interact with Hiyori always made me laugh.

Within my division, I had really grown close to Kouga. He was a great deal more than I'd previously imagined… and I could not deny that I was deeply in love with him, that my crush had become something far stronger. However, he was married… and I knew I could never let my true emotions show, though I suspected he knew about them anyway. He was just that observant.

There were days with Kouga that I would be allowed to spend with Muramasa, too. I'd grown very close to that zanpakuto spirit, to the point that, when he was out, I'd cuddle up close to him, just because I knew it annoyed him. Though, considering how it annoyed him, he never once pushed me away. He just… tolerated it. Once, I'd even accidentally fallen asleep on him… and had woken with my head on his lap, his nails running softly through my hair. Kouga had left us like that to do third seat responsibilities, but Muramasa had stayed with me. It had deeply warmed my heart towards the spirit.

After that episode, I saw more and more of Muramasa… and he objected to my affectionate hugs and cuddles less and less. I think I was starting to grow on him. I always looked forward to the times we got to spend together.

"Masa!" I greeted, jumping to hug him, making him sigh and lean down so that my feet would touch the ground again. He was so tall… he made me look like an ant.

"What?" teased Kouga. "I don't get a hug? I see how it is."

I laughed and released Muramasa, hugging Kouga instead. He chuckled and hugged me back, more than used to my openly affectionate personality.

"What are we doing today?" I asked.

"I needed to talk to you about some things I've noticed in your training," he answered me. So, I sat down, glad when Muramasa sat next to me so I could lean on him, my head on his shoulder as I looked at Kouga. "First off, you've gotten a great deal stronger than I'd imagined in a very short time, reiatsu-wise. However, you're still lacking in physical strength. I suggest you ask Captain Muguruma to train you in that. He's very strong and has a very high endurance."

I nodded, accepting that.

"Secondly, there's that new ability of yours," he pressed on. "You need to train it against an illusion-type zanpakuto. I'd recommend asking Captain Hirako to help you. His zanpakuto is the only one I know of that deals directly in illusions."

I nodded again.

"Lastly, you might want to ask Captain Shihoin about increasing your speed and fighting without a weapon," he finished. "I'd hate for you to get disarmed and become helpless… I'd like for you to start those trainings as soon as possible. Once you're stronger, I hope to take you on a few missions with me."

My eyes lit up.

"A chance to actually fight WITH you instead of AGAINST you?" I asked excitedly. He laughed and nodded. I squealed and jumped over, hugging him around the middle tightly. "You're the best!"

He chuckled and pushed me back.

"That birthday party Shinji threw was really good for you," he told me with a warm smile. "It showed you that you have more friends than you thought you did."

I spared him a small smile.

"And I have you, Sosuke, and Shinji to thank for that," I stated. "Without you guys, I doubt I'd have made any friends."

He shook his head, but smiled.

"Well, I have to get back to work," he told me. "But I'll let Muramasa stay with you."

I grinned and hugged the spirit, making him sigh in mild annoyance.

"Again, you're the best, Kouga!" I said happily. "Don't worry! I'll take good care of him!"

Kouga laughed at the annoyed look on the zanpakuto's face.

"I'm sure you will," he agreed. Then left with a wave. I giggled and looked up at Muramasa.

"Might as well start gathering trainers," I stated, getting to my feet and pulling him up after me. He spared me a small smile and let me keep his hand in mine as I raced off to the second division. I was shown to the office in short order, unsurprised to see the lieutenant, Soifon, hard at work while Yoruichi slacked off a bit, talking with her third seat, Kisuke Urahara.

"Yoruichi!" I called, skipping into the room. She looked up with a warm smile.

"Well, hi there, Akalia!" she greeted. "And Muramasa."

I grinned and sat down in front of her chair, looking at her eagerly.

"Kouga says I'm too slow and need to learn how to fight without a weapon," I told her. "Will you train me?"

She laughed and nodded.

"Sure," she said. "We'll start in the morning."

"Sweetness!" I said, hugging her around the middle before bolting out the door. "See you then!"

I pulled Muramasa after me excitedly and he just let me, knowing by now it was really hard to stop me from doing something I wanted to do.

"Are you hungry, Masa?" I asked, spotting my favorite restaurant. Ever since Sosuke had taken me there for lunch, I absolutely loved it. He gave me an amused, yet annoyed, smile.

"You know I do not get hungry," he reminded me. I giggled and smiled at him.

"Well, I'm famished so let's eat!" I said, pulling him into the establishment. He just sighed and let me, never losing his smile.

"Akalia, come join us!"

I grinned at the call from Shinji. It would seem it was lunch break for a lot of people. I gladly skipped over and pushed Muramasa into the empty seat so I could sit on his lap. The others were surprised by this, but he was used to it and just shook his head with a rueful smile.

"Who's this?" asked Kensei. I grinned.

"This is Masa!" I answered, hugging the spirit, making him roll his eyes with a long-suffering sigh, making me giggle. "Love you, too, Masa."

That startled him, making me laugh and turn back to the menu. I quickly ordered some curry and rice balls (which I shared with Muramasa over my shoulder). The whole time, we were all laughing and joking about training and such… and I realized I had two potential teachers in this room.

"Hey, Kensei?" I asked, getting his attention. He took another gulp of sake and looked at me, waiting. "I need to build up strength and endurance. I was told you were the best. Would you train me?"

"Sure," he said. "We'll start tomorrow afternoon. I've heard you asked Yoruichi for training, too."

I nodded.

"And I have one more person to ask," I went on. "Shinji, I got a new ability that I need to train but you're the only person I know with an illusion-type of zanpakuto. I need your help."

"We'll train in the evenings, then," he said, telling me he'd heard Kensei and I'd conversation. I smiled and hugged them both, making Kensei go bright red and sputter, trying to push me away. Shinji just grinned and slid his hands down my back—

WHACK!

He went flying when Hiyori's sandal nailed him in the head again, making me laugh. I then just hugged Muramasa, much to the zanpakuto's amusement and annoyance. I swear, with him, it was always both emotions, never just one. After we finished eating, I pulled Muramasa back to our own division. I found Kouga sitting alone near the training grounds, looking troubled. I didn't need to be told to know why. His face said it all.

My smile fell as I wordlessly hugged him from behind, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Ginrei not appreciate you, again?" I asked softly. He just sighed, letting me hug him. "He DOES appreciate you, he just can't say it."

He spared me a small, rueful smile.

"So you're always telling me," he stated, pulling me over to sit next to him, letting me hug him from the side instead. I knew, all he needed right now, was for someone to appreciate him. It was a role I gladly filled as often as I could.

"Don't be so down on yourself… or him," I said softly, resting my head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around my back, just holding me lightly. "It's part of being a noble clan. You can't show ANY kind of favoritism… Though he definitely shows some for that sickly son of his…"

That last comment came out as more of a grumble than anything. It was a well-known fact that I did not like our lieutenant at all. Kouga chuckled and gave me a light squeeze.

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better," he said. I chuckled lowly.

"Yeah, I really suck at that."

He laughed and then just smiled, looking at me.

"I can always count on you to make me feel better, huh?"

I smiled warmly.

"Always and forever," I answered. "It's what best friends do!"

"Best friends?" he repeated, seeming surprised at the term. I nodded.

"The bestest ever!" I went on, making him smile more. "Oh, I got all of my trainers lined up, but it means I won't be about to do my duties as a sixth seat for a while. I'm training every morning with Yoruichi, every afternoon with Kensei, and every evening with Shinji."

His expression quickly turned to concern.

"Isn't that going to be pushing yourself too hard?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I'll find out," I answered. "I really, really want to get stronger so I can start going on those missions with you."

He smiled.

"That excited for it, huh?" he asked. I nodded. "And what makes missions with me so special?"

I blushed darkly at his teasing tone and looked away, choosing not to answer. This only served to make him and Muramasa laugh.

"You know, I've been around you a lot… and I still don't know much about you," he said suddenly, relaxing and looking at me. "What are some things you like?"

I smiled softly.

"The arts," I answered.

"Then you're in the wrong division," he teased. I chuckled.

"Don't care," I answered. "I think, if I had to deal with Kensei and Mashiro on a daily basis, I'd end up shooting them both."

He laughed.

"What about you?" I asked. "I know you love being a Soul Reaper, prefer to meditate near running water, love the color red, and hate spicy foods… what else?"

He was surprised at first, then laughed.

"You know me better than I know you!"

I chuckled.

"Course I do," I told him. "I've been known for my observation skills."

He chuckled and shook his head.

"I enjoy painting," he told me. "It's been a passion of mine since I was a child."

"How did you meet your wife?" I asked, curiously. He gave me a wry smile.

"It was an arranged marriage between our families, as all noble weddings are," he revealed, surprising me. "I was married at the age of thirty."

"Wow," was all I could say. "Don't nobles believe in love or just convenience?"

Kouga gave a hollow laugh.

"Love is not even on their radar," he replied, then looked at me. "What about you? Have someone special in your heart?"

I nodded, blushing a little.

"But I know it will never happen," I told him. "Mainly because that person is not mine to take… I'll get over it… I hope."

He gave me a soft hug.

"Sorry to hear that," he told me honestly. "Unrequited love is awful."

That surprised me.

"You've suffered unrequited love?" I asked, looking into his gorgeous green eyes. He nodded, looking away with a light blush. "Why on earth was it unrequited?"

"I was already married," he answered simply, making me wince.

"Oh," I said lamely. "Sorry…"

He chuckled.

"Not your fault," he assured me. I just gave him a wry smile before letting it fall. "Were there others, before this last one?"

I nodded.

"All unrequited," I answered softly, feeling the all-too-familiar ache in my chest start up. "No one ever loved me back…"

Again, that warm arm gave me a soft squeeze.

"I just wish I knew why…" I admitted softly, turning my head to his chest, feeling the tears burning my eyes. "Those that knew how I felt, either ran from me or laughed about it, adding to the list of mockeries used against me… One of them I'd known for twenty years and trusted…"

Kouga lightly rubbed my arm, pulling me into a proper hug. I was grateful for his comfort. It was the only thing keeping my tears in my eyes, keeping them from rolling down my cheeks.

"Then they're all fools," he assured me quietly. So, to break up the tension, I turned to Muramasa with a light grin.

"What about you, Masa?" I asked teasingly. "Any girl troubles?"

That got an annoyed and amused smile out of him again.

"Just you," he answered simply, making me look at him in shock and amusement and embarrassment as my jaw dropped open. A dark blush crossed my cheeks.

"Masa!" I said finally, hitting his chest in embarrassment. "You say that like I'm a bloody nightmare!"

Behind me, Kouga burst into laughter and all seriousness was gone. Muramasa and I ended up laughing with him, all the tension and sadness leaving us all at once.

"Okay, that was just awful, Masa," I said finally, making the spirit chuckle.

"Well, you're the only person I've really been allowed to manifest around," he told me calmly. I gave him a small grin.

"Then you have no right to make me sound like a nightmare, mister!" I told him, poking his chest, making him chuckle.

"I didn't say you were a nightmare, just my only 'girl trouble'," he corrected me, making me blush again and hit his chest again. Then I turned around and crossed my arms, annoyed and embarrassed. Kouga was still chuckling as he got to his feet. When he offered me his hand, I took it without a second thought, letting him pull me to my feet. I went to help Muramasa up, but he was already standing, making me pout a little and Kouga chuckle again.

"While you train, I'll take over your responsibilities," he told me. I smiled softly.

"I was hoping you would say that," I admitted, pulling out the folder with the patrols. He laughed and took it, glancing over its contents.

"This was well thought out," he commented. I blushed a little.

"It was a collaborated idea between Sosuke and I."

He smiled at that.

"Then I'm sure it's more than efficient," he stated, shutting the folder. I smiled softly, knowing the more I was around him, the more I would fall in love with him. I knew I was doomed.

* * *

 **It was dark, very dark… and in the mists of that darkness, I heard a scream of rage! Racing forward, I was horrified at the sight before me!**

 **"Kensei! Mashiro! Shinji! Hiyori!"**

 **It was as though they couldn't hear me at all!**

 **No… wait… They can't hear me…**

 **Because I'm not really here…**

 **On the ground in front of me were several of my friends… and a few faces I didn't recognize at all. All of them had something white spilling from their mouths, onto their faces. Shinji, however, was still conscious, though he seemed more upset than I'd ever seen before. He was talking to someone; someone I couldn't see… and I couldn't hear a word that was being spoken.**

 **After a few moments, I saw Kisuke and another man appear, both openly shocked at the sight of the others, before they turned their gaze to the man I could not see.**

 **Agonized, I couldn't bear to watch anymore, and turned my gaze away… and the vision faded to black.**

With a jerk, my eyes snapped open, horror being my primary emotion.

"Please tell me it was a nightmare," I whispered softly, shaking.

I knew it was not.


	5. Training Begins

Morning came sooner than I was ready for. With a slight skip in my step, I raced off to the second division to begin training with Yoruichi. She was waiting in the training grounds, a smile on her face as she saw me.

"Welcome," she greeted. "First off, we'll work on your speed. To work on that, wear these weights all the time for the next three weeks."

"All the time?" I clarified, putting them on my wrists and ankles. They were at least fifty pounds each, making it hard to move. She nodded.

"For starters, to get you used to those weights, I want you to run circuits around the Seireitei," she instructed. "Begin now."

I nodded and raced off.

LATER

I was tired as I stumbled over to the restaurant where I was to meet Sosuke for lunch. He winced when he saw me, telling me I looked even worse than I felt.

"Wow," he said softly, looking me over as he started healing my few bruises. As I'd run my laps, Yoruichi, Soifon, and Kisuke had all taken turns ambushing me, forcing me to fight and flee, making full use of my speed training. Needless to say, I'd gotten my ass kicked… a lot!

"I feel like I've been hit by a train," I grumbled, dropping into my seat, resting my head on the table.

"Are you sure doing this much training isn't too hard on your body?" he asked me. I gave him a half-hearted smile.

"If I don't push myself to my limits, I won't get stronger," I answered simply. Then got a determined look in my eyes. "And I have to, Sosuke. I HAVE to get stronger…"

His hand encompassed my fist, making me look at him.

"Why?" he asked softly, concern on his face. "Why does needing to get stronger matter so much to you?"

I sighed.

"It just does, okay?" I answered evasively. Thankfully, he dropped the subject.

"Aren't you training with Kensei next?" he asked. I nodded.

"From what Kensei told me last night, he'll be having me duel him one-on-one to see how pathetic I am, then go from there. Since he's strictly strength and endurance, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd given Yoruichi a heads-up and that they were working together on me."

Sosuke nodded.

"That sounds reasonable," he agreed. I spared him a small smile, eating quickly. I was excited to work with Kensei. I'd only seen him in action twice, but he was a sight to behold… almost mouth-watering, watching those muscles flex…

I blushed darkly at the look Sosuke was giving me and pushed those thoughts away.

"What?" I asked. He chuckled.

"You really need to work on not showing your thoughts on your face," he teased. "We all know Captain Muguruma is very attractive, as his fan club can prove."

I blushed darker.

"So, try not to let his good looks distract you during your training," he finished, making me punch his arm, which only served to amuse him. "You're slower."

"Damn weights," I grumbled. "Kisuke made them. They don't only weigh a ton; they also force you to stretch your spiritual energy just to move."

That surprised Sosuke.

"How interesting," he commented. "I didn't realize Urahara was a scientist…"

I chuckled.

"Oh, he is," I said with a smile. "And he's terrible! Every time you turn around, he's coming up with something new."

Sosuke chuckled, then frowned, having seen someone behind me.

"Ready to train?"

I jumped and spun around, glad I'd finished eating.

"Kensei! You scared me!"

He grinned and looked at me.

"Are you coming or not?" he asked. I nodded and threw my trash away, following him outside of the Seireitei, out into the Rukon. Of course, he'd chosen to run the whole way. That told me my suspicions had been correct. He WAS working with Yoruichi.

"Well, now we can begin," he said, putting his zanpakuto down. I followed suit and prepared for an all-out brawl.

LATER

I limped into the squad five office, making Sosuke chuckle and walk over to help me, sitting me down so he could heal me again.

"I'm going to ask you again, are you sure your body can handle this?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It has to, Sosuke," I answered determinedly. "That's not a choice… not anymore."

Once more, I was grateful that he let the matter drop.

"Fortunately, the least physically taxing training is last," I said, glancing over at Shinji. "Most of what's left is all in the mind."

"What ability are we training?" he asked me, seeming a bit insulted at being told he was the "least taxing" part of my day.

"I can use Durnehviir's eyes," I answered him. "Illusions can fool my eyes, but not his."

Sosuke was surprised… and tense. I frowned at him, concerned.

"Then what do you need me to train you for?" Shinji asked, confused.

"I need to extend the time I can hold it," I answered. "And I need to speed up how fast I can call on it… I intend to do this while dueling you in the illusion of your zanpakuto."

Shinji nodded, understanding.

"How long can you hold it now?" he asked. I blushed and looked at my lap where my hands clenched nervously.

"Less than a minute," I answered meekly. That threw him into surprise again. "It's taxing… and causes a god-awful headache every time I use it… but Durnehviir says all that will go away as I get stronger and get better at using it."

I paused, then pushed on.

"It's partially why I'm training so hard under three different teachers," I explained. "To control this new ability, I have to be strong enough. When I've fully developed it, Durnehviir says I'll not only be able to see through all illusions, but I'll be able to see the auras of all living things, even when their energy is completely masked."

Now Sosuke was looking at me in a new light. He looked concerned, yes, but not the normal kind of concerned. It was a strange look to see on his features. A low whistle took my mind back to my next teacher.

"That's one powerful ability," Shinji stated. I nodded. "I can see why you're so determined."

I smiled softly.

"It's going to be another hour before I'm allowed to leave," the blonde told me. "Then we can get started. Use that time to rest up. Your mind is going to get stretched to the limit."

I nodded and relaxed, accepting the Jasmine tea Sosuke brought me. He spared me a small smile.

"When did you learn of this ability?" he asked. I smiled softly.

"Durnehviir told me of it yesterday morning," I answered. "I couldn't sleep… so I trained instead… and he showed me that ability, told me what it could do… and that I'd have to train 'til my body and mind were broken before I could fully master it."

Sosuke's eyes widened, realizing the truth.

"That's why you're pushing yourself so hard!" he exclaimed. I nodded and relaxed in the seat.

"It's why Kouga recommended the two hardest task-master Captains for training, and the last one based on zanpakuto ability alone," I spelled out. "Kouga also believed Shinji would be the least likely to warp my mind beyond repair. There are, technically, three others with illusion-type zanpakuto… but one of those hates me and the other two are poorly trained."

Silence met that comment as we all just relaxed for a bit. Soon, Sosuke left to deliver paperwork to a few divisions, leaving Shinji and I alone.

"You said this new ability was only partially why you wanted to get stronger," Shinji put out there quietly. "What was the other part?"

I hesitated… and he knew. He got up, walked over, and sat down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Come on," he pressed softly. "You can tell me. After all, you are my first love."

His teasing tone got a blush from me as I slapped his chest in embarrassment. He chuckled, but didn't pull back. Softly, I sighed.

"I… I've…"

I just couldn't get it out. I didn't know if he'd listen, if he'd believe me. I hadn't even told Sosuke this, and he'd known me for seven years! I kept clasping and unclasping my hands, feeling very, very nervous about this. Abruptly, he placed his hand over mine, the warmth of his body against my side filling me with comfort, with a small degree of trust towards this strangely comical friend of mine.

"I've had the ability to see things before they happen since I was born," I finally said softly, noting his unspoken surprise in the slight start of his body, before he forced it to calm again in response to the tensing of mine. "I… I recently saw something… terrible… happen to someone I care about… and I want to stop it, if I can… but I cannot, not as weak as I am. I have to get stronger."

I clenched my hands tightly around his.

"I have to protect them," I said softly, determined.

"What was this vision about?" he asked softly, his voice deadly serious. "What did you see?"

I paused, hesitating again, then forced myself to spit it out.

"Like all my visions, I can't hear what's said, I can only observe the scene," I explained. "My friends… they had fallen victim to something, to someone I couldn't see… and all but one of them was unconscious. The one still awake seemed deeply angered, almost betrayed… and all of them were suffering the same strange phenomena… Three of them had hollow masks… and the others… if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say they were becoming hollows, too… but it didn't look natural, it didn't look right… The conscious one… the white stuff that spewed from his mouth only covered half of his face, like he was fighting it somehow…"

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. Only then did I realize I was shaking, tears rolling down my cheeks. Shinji was fully hugging me now, holding my quaking form against his larger, warmer body. I let myself absorb his warmth, relaxing in his embrace, turning my head to cry into the crook of his neck as he held me. His body language didn't even tell me what he was thinking, thank goodness, only sent out a signal of comfort and warmth as he tried to calm me once more.

"I-I couldn't watch anymore," I whispered softly. "I couldn't bear it…"

Shinji just silently held me, probably thinking over what I'd seen… and most likely debating whether it was true or not. I wrapped my arms softly around his chest and hugged him back, desperately absorbing his comfort.

"I'll do everything I can to help you prevent that vision from coming true."

The fierce determination and genuine resolve surprised me, making me pull away a bit to look up at him.

"You… you believe me?" I asked, my tone painfully hopeful, even to my own ears. His hand gently brushed away my tears as he looked right into my eyes. Those eyes… those honest eyes… they answered my question for me, making a fresh wave of tears hit as I hugged him again. "Thank you…"

His only answer was to hug me a bit tighter, just relaxing in our shared embrace. He didn't let go even after I'd gotten ahold of myself, seeming to just wordlessly know I really, really needed this embrace, as embarrassed as I'd be if anyone caught us like this.

For once, fortune seemed to be on my side. No one came. No one interrupted this moment.

"Feel a little better?" he asked softly, letting his hand lightly rub my back. I nodded and let myself pull back, grabbing some Kleenex to blow my nose a few times, and used some cool water to soothe my burning cheeks.

"You've never told anyone about your visions… or your sight, have you?" he asked. I shook my head, glancing back at him, seeing him looking out the window contemplating.

"I was afraid no one would believe me, would listen…" I admitted quietly. "I'm glad to see that I was wrong."

He spared me a glance at that, cracking a very small smile, before glancing at the clock.

"All right," he said, getting up. "Let's go start that training."

I nodded and followed him from the office, over to the Captain's quarters. I quirked a brow at this choice and he gestured for me to follow him around back, to the private courtyard.

"Since you're just learning your technique, I won't actually spar with you," he told me. "I want you to get used to the feeling of Sakanade. Everything you see will be turned upside down and backwards. I want you to get used to the effect before you apply Durnehviir's eyes. At that point, we'll start working on how long you can hold it."

I nodded and he pulled out his zanpakuto.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Stiffly, I nodded. He paused and looked at me. "I'm not going to start this until you relax. Tensing up like that will only make this transition harder."

I nodded and forced myself to relax… but I kept having trouble. With a sigh, he walked up to me and embraced me again, his touch sending waves of calm over me, soothing me. When I was relaxed again, he stepped back to his original position and looked at me. There, he turned his zanpakuto to face the ground in front of him.

"Collapse, Sakanade," he said softly. Immediately, his sword changed form, no longer having a hilt. Instead, it swung around and around his fist as he watched me. I was a bit unnerved to see a pink-colored gas surrounding us. "Relax and breathe in."

I did as told… and soon yelped. Everything was upside down!

"Relax," he reminded me. "Just get used to it."

Slowly, I did as bid and forced myself to relax. After a few minutes, Shinji walked towards me. When he was right behind me, he raised his right hand… but it was my left cheek that he cupped with his left?

"Huh?" I whispered, startled.

"Sakanade turns everything backwards," he told me. "Front, back, up, down, side to side… It's the inverted world. You will see everything the opposite way that it is."

I took a few moments to accept that… and then closed my eyes.

When they opened, he gasped in surprise. Now I saw him as the truth, his left hand cupping my face, him standing in front of me. Softly, I raised my hand to cover his.

"Durnehviir's eyes… really do remove illusions," I commented softly. "Now what I felt and what I see match up again."

After a few moments, I smiled.

"What do they look like, Durnehviir's eyes?" I asked. He grinned.

"Like a dragon's eyes," he answered. "And a bright, vivid green."

I nodded, then hissed, my hand shooting to my head as the ability slipped away, a headache taking its place.

"Are you all right?" he asked. I nodded, cracking open my eyes to look at him, startling him.

"That wasn't long at all," he commented. I agreed completely.

"Welcome to my headache," I commented dryly, realizing my world was backwards again. "Gimme a moment… I'll summon it again."

He nodded and waited patiently. After a few more seconds, the headache eased and I was able to summon the eyes again. This time, I let my hand slide up his arm, up to his shoulder, his eyes watching me carefully. Abruptly, he spun me around and hugged me from behind, his head on my right shoulder. I was so startled I lost the eyes almost immediately as I gasped.

"Sh-Shinji!"

I forced myself to regain those eyes quickly to end my confusion. It felt like his body was pressed against my front, not my back, the warmth making no sense to my eyes, like my sight and my ability to feel was all reversed.

"This is extremely disorienting," I grumbled, holding onto the arms around me as the world straightened out again. "This is definitely helping to some degree… normally I have to wait at least ten minutes to re-summon my eyes…"

He chuckled.

"Seems you just lacked proper incentive," he teased, nuzzling my neck, making me tense.

"Sh-Shinji!" I gasped, losing the eyes again. "W-What are you doing?!"

The disorienting effect was amplified now. Sensations across my body were NOT matching up with what I was seeing at all! Every touch, every movement he made… none of it matched up! It was so very confusing!

I conjured the eyes again and jerked out of his arms to face him, completely in disbelief.

"What on earth are you doing?" I demanded. He grinned.

"Training," he answered, watching me hiss again in pain as the eyes left me. My head was nearly splitting in half at this point. I'd never tried to summon the eyes this many times before… but I knew I'd have a true migraine before he was done teaching me tonight… and I would need those eyes to evade his advances.

 **"Do you even want to evade them, Master?"**

At Durnehviir's voice in my head, I blushed scarlet and glared at my zanpakuto.

~ _Of course I did! Why else would I be adamant about keeping out of his grasp?_ ~

 **"You didn't seem to be objecting too much… especially when he was holding you."**

I blushed darker and felt my eye start to twitch in irritation.

Abruptly, everything was thrown off kilter again as I was grabbed from the front—no, the back! His voice was next to my ear as he teased me.

"You're getting distracted," Shinji stated, letting his breath teasingly brush my skin. I shivered and summoned the eyes quickly. Seeing his arm coming, I grabbed his wrist and held it away from me, his other hand holding me alone now. I heard him chuckle.

"Blame Durnehviir," I grumbled. "He's being an ass."

Shinji chuckled and spun me around, my back quickly coming into contact with a pole as he pinned my wrist above my head. I squirmed a bit, experimentally tugging on my wrist, unsurprised that his grip was firm and not about to let go.

"Shinji…"

He grinned at me and let his eyes roam, making me blush darkly.

"You're shameless," I stated, sending my knee into his gut, forcing him to release me. He doubled-over and I darted behind him, snagging his wrists and jerking him up, pinning him to the pole instead of me. He grinned lecherously at me.

"I didn't realize you wanted to be in charge," he teased, making my blush darken immensely.

"You—Shit!"

The eyes disappeared on me, disorienting me again, giving him plenty of time to escape my hold as the headache was so strong it robbed me of my sight for a moment. I clenched the sides of my head, trying to alleviate some of the pain, a low groan escaping me.

"Getting more and more painful, isn't it?" he asked. I nodded weakly, struggling to push this headache away.

"I've never bothered trying to summon it more than once in an hour, save the experiment to find out how long my cooldown timer was," I answered him, opening my eyes for a brief second, only to hiss and shut them quickly again. The headache gave me pure-white vision. "Dammit… I can't see! Bloody headache…"

He sighed and the sweet scent left the air. Softly, I felt my body lifted into a pair of arms, making me yelp and grasp for anything sturdy… which just so happened to be his haori.

"A little warning next time, Shinji!" I scolded. "Almost gave me a heart-attack!"

"It would seem it will be a while before we work up to actually sparring," he told me, completely brushing off my discomfort. "I'm going to assume that you won't be able to get home when you can't see… so you'll use the spare futon."

"Do I even wanna know why you have a spare?" I teased with a grin. He chuckled.

"Well, if you really wanna know, I—"

I slapped my hands over his mouth, opening my eyes the tiniest amount that I could without them hurting like my head.

"I don't wanna know," I said quickly, making him grin… and lick my hands. "Ewww!"

His grin widened.

"Delicious," he teased, making me blush darkly.

"You're incorrigible," I grumbled, pouting. I knew there wasn't much I could do to stop him in my current condition. After a moment, I felt myself get laid down on a futon.

"Rest," he told me. "Yoruichi will be waiting in the morning."

I nodded and relaxed. As I felt him start to leave, I grabbed his sleeve.

"Please stay," I said softly. "I sleep better when someone else is there."

He gave a soft sigh, but pulled away. I heard something getting laid down next to me and soon felt the warmth of his body next to mine.

"Go to sleep, you needy woman," he ordered gently. I chuckled and obeyed, letting my body relax. In short order, sleep swept me away.


	6. Let the Games Begin

I woke the next morning, feeling truly peaceful. My headache was long gone, my body blessedly warm. I snuggled into my covers, feeling safe… only to register that covers weren't that hard…

My eyes snapped open, only for a dark, deep blush to flood my face.

 _Oh my god… I just burrowed into Shinji!_

Sometime in the night, we had ended up cuddling. His arms were around me, my face buried in his chest as I lay on him, between his legs.

Fortunately for me, he was still sleeping soundly… so I took the moment to really look at him. I remembered how warm his eyes had been yesterday, how honest and kind they'd been. Now his face seemed almost innocent in sleep. His hair, usually a well-groomed, flat mop on his head, was in complete disarray. It was almost cute and I couldn't help but run my fingers through it, trying to get it to look even remotely like it was supposed to. I was so focused on that task that I didn't notice the brown eyes that slowly opened… and now watched me in both amusement and raptured fascination.

When I finally had the one side managed, I started on the other… only to jump as a hand started to run through mine. My eyes immediately snapped to his, blushing darkly when I saw him watching me. I immediately looked away, snatching my hand back in embarrassment.

"Morning," I greeted lamely, making him grin.

"Blushing all ready?" he teased. "Must admit, I like waking up like this."

The way he said that made me look at him quizzically… until I followed his pointed gaze.

"SHINJI!" I screeched, blushing darkly as I scrambled to my knees, pulling my uniform shut as best I could. In the night, it had come nearly completely undone, affording him one hell of a view of my rack. I was mortified… and he just laughed.

Beyond embarrassed, I got up and stepped away from him, turning my back to him as I looked in the nearby mirror. I was a terrible mess. My hair was all tangled, sleep in the corners of my eyes… My uniform was wrinkled beyond comparison, making me blush darkly as I realized I'd have to wear it today until I reached my rooms.

"Thank god it's the weekend," I commented softly.

"For sure," he agreed. "The two mornings I don't have to wake up to that damned alarm clock."

I chuckled at that, then my eyes widened.

"Oh shit!" I swore. "My training!"

"Relax," Shinji cut in, slowly coming up to stand next to me, reaching inside his robe to scratch his stomach. "I sent out a note last night and was told they didn't expect you to train on a weekend."

I relaxed immediately, only to tense again, a scarlet tint to my face. He grinned, knowing exactly where my mind went.

"Relax," he repeated. "I only said training had exhausted your mind too much to leave. Oh, and Kouga Kuchiki dropped off a clean set of clothes for you, though he seemed quite amused at how cute you are when you're sleeping."

Now I was beyond embarrassed. I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"How humiliating…" I whimpered, making Shinji laugh.

"There's a bath through there if you want to use it," he said, pointing to a door behind me. I gladly picked up the bag of clothes and went in, locking the door behind me, making Shinji laugh. "Aww! You don't trust me?"

I blushed even darker.

"Not even a little, you pervert!" I shot back playfully. He just chuckled and I heard him go to the kitchen. So, I started a shower, relaxing in the spray. It was warm…

 _But not as warm as Shinji's arms…_

Immediately, I blushed darkly and threw that thought away.

A low chuckle in my head only served to increase my embarrassment.

 **"Seems my Master has a new crush."**

I blushed darkly.

~ _Shut it, Durnehviir._ ~

He chuckled again.

 **"It's nothing to get embarrassed about, Master. After all, who's to say that this time, your affections won't be returned? I doubt even he could fake the amount of teasing he did last night."**

I was a tomato, I swear.

Last night ran through my head. All those touches, those whispers… He had certainly been a hell of a lot closer to me than a friend would… but he always teased me like that. It wasn't that strange, not to me… but a crush on him? Really? Was not crushing on Kouga bad enough? Did I have to crush on Shinji, too? Or was I just transferring my crush on Kouga to him due to the fact that I knew Kouga could never love me back?

 **"I would not blame you if that was the path you chose. He seems honorable… and he listens to you. He was one of the few Soul Reapers to reach out to you for friendship while others balked. And for a man… he's not all that unimpressive."**

~ _This coming from a MALE zanpakuto._ ~

He chuckled at me as I finished my shower. Once out, I dressed quickly, grateful that Kouga had packed my brush and toothbrush. Quickly using both, I then took my leave of the room, heading to the kitchen. It smelled sinful, it really did.

"A man that can cook," I teased. "Color me impressed."

Shinji grinned.

"Don't get used to it," he told me. "You're cooking tomorrow morning."

I blushed darkly.

"You're assuming I'm going to spend every night with you," I stated, trying to sound annoyed. He grinned.

"The other two many not train on the weekends, but we will," he told me. "I meant what I said. I will do everything I can to help prevent that vision. That means we'll train as often as we can."

I flushed even darker, last night running through my mind again.

"I think you enjoy this a little too much," I stated. His grin widened.

"And you think anyone else wouldn't?" he replied. "Who, in their right mind, wouldn't enjoy their first love in their bed every night?"

Embarrassed, I punched his shoulder, making him laugh.

"Stop it with that 'first love' crap!" I told him, trying to be firm, but too embarrassed for it to come out that way. He just grinned.

"And where would be the fun in that?" he asked, making me hit him again. At his grin, I got one of my own.

"Guess that means you'll have to be my kinky lover then, huh?" I teased. Now it was his turn to blush, before he grinned, his surprise vanishing.

"Game on," he told me. I chuckled.

"This is gonna be fun," I stated.

* * *

Thanks to that morning, every time I saw Shinji (and he, I), we'd both start in with the over-the-top flirting, trying to get the other to blush like mad. Every time, he'd gotten me so red there was steam coming out of my ears. I had endured losing to him time and time again for a while month. This time, however, I had a plan. Technically, it was Yoruichi's plan, but since she came up with it for me, now it was mine.

I just couldn't get the grin off my face, one that was making Kit a bit leery of me.

"Relax," I told him for the um-teenth time. "It's not like I'm doing anything to you."

That just made him shake his head. By now, the entire Seireitei knew about Shinji and I, though I don't think any of them realized this was just a game between us, save Yoruichi when I'd asked her for help in how to pull one over on Shinji. She'd been honored to be asked and was more than happy to help. She was a goddess in more ways than flash and had some very under-handed ideas that had me grinning like a fool. I could only wonder how Shinji would take them.

As if the gods were in my favor, I saw that specific target walking just ahead of me, talking animatedly to Kensei. I grinned and skipped over, wrapping my arm around his neck as I swung around his body like a pole, ending up pressed up against his chest.

True to Yoruichi's prediction, he froze at the initial contact… until he realized it was me.

"Hey there, handsome," I teased, surprising him again as I let my hand slide down his chest, down to his sash. "Miss me?"

"A bit," he teased back, letting his arms encompass my frame. "I'd hate to be without those marvelous globes for too long. Wanna give daddy a peek?"

"Shinji!" Kensei said, blushing darkly. I gave the blonde a mischievous smile.

"Maybe," I answered, surprising him again. "For a view of my own."

Then I pulled away, taking the now untied sash with me, laughing as his pants went to his ankles, making him sputter and blush like mad. I laughed even louder as he swore, jerking them back up and chased after me, trying to get it back as I flashed away. Giggling like a mad-woman, I made the mad dash towards the nearest courtyard, pleased that it was the fifth squad's, knowing this was perfect. Sensing him just behind me, I grinned, readied the sash, and stopped next to a pole Yoruichi had just put in this morning for this stunt. Shinji didn't stop fast enough, running right into my trap. I flashed, snagging both of his wrists and tied them to the pole, above his head, making him gape at me.

Then he grinned.

"You really are a kinky girl," he teased. I chuckled.

"You have no idea," I purred, taking pleasure in his surprised expression yet again. "Wanna find out?"

Now he blushed and I knew I'd truly won, making me grin. To finish this tease, I followed instructions, leaning up to his ear, nibbling it softly, amused beyond words when he groaned a little, shifting in front of me.

"Your move, little boy," I purred, blowing softly on his ear, hearing him hiss, before turning around and walking away, giggling the whole time. It took him a few minutes, but it hit him as I just left the courtyard.

"DAMMIT!" he swore, making me laugh and flash away. Immediately, Yoruichi pounced, dragging me into her office, demanding details.

Laughing, I told her everything.


	7. The Beginning of Questions Unanswered

I was still giggling when I went to report to him at the agreed-upon time for our lesson. I knew he would probably be a bit worse tonight due to that terrible prank I'd pulled. True to expectation, he greeted me in the Captain's quarters courtyard. There was his signature grin.

I couldn't help but giggle as I saw he'd replaced his sash, making him look away from me, his cheeks a bit red.

"That was pretty low," he commented.

"And yet, so effective," I teased. "Got you to turn red… in fact, you're still blushing about it. Pray tell, how DID you get down from there?"

He spared me a small, dark look, though his blush darkened. I laughed in amusement, laughed so hard I had to lean on a tree for support. Abruptly, I was grabbed from behind, forced up against that tree, Shinji against my back, pressing hard with his body. I fought my blush, especially when he pulled my legs back to that our sexes were pressed intimately against each other.

"I can play dirty, too," he reminded me, his breath teasing my ear, his hands rubbing my thighs. I couldn't contain a slight gasp as he ground his hips against mine. I bit my lip, closing my eyes as a shiver ran down my spine.

"If that's how it's gonna be," I said softly, putting into play another one of Yoruichi's ideas. I arched my back, snagging the back of his head with my hand, tangling my fingers in his hair as I pulled his head around into a searing kiss. He was so shocked he lost his grip on me, making me grin as I spun around, using gravity to my advantage to push him to the ground, letting me straddle his waist as I broke the kiss.

"I hope that's not all you had in your arsenal, Shinji," I purred, teasingly. "I have much more material to work with than you think."

His expression was one of pleasant surprise… before he grinned again and rolled, forcing my body beneath his.

"So do I," he teased back, pinning my wrists above my head with a single hand.

"Akalia!"

The shocked voice of Kit made us both blush darkly, having been caught like this, Shinji laying between my spread legs, leaning over me mere inches away. Kit looked scandalized and disapproving all at once.

"I would have expected something like this from you, Captain, but not you, Akalia!" Kit stated sternly, watching the Captain and I get up from the ground. I giggled.

"Don't tell me you still think I'm innocent, Kit!" I teased, grinning. He did not look pleased with me at all, making me sigh and roll my eyes. "Rain check on that training, Shinji."

"Yeah," he agreed. "What did you want, Demenez?"

The man spared me another frown before facing the guilty Captain.

"In truth, I was looking for Akalia," he answered, then took my elbow, starting to lead me away. "And what part of that constituted training?"

I tried not to giggle, knowing how irritated Kit really was… but a few slipped out as he dragged me away. The subtle clenching of my arm told me how much that increased his ire. Once we were out of his division, out of the Seireitei completely, he finally released me.

"What the hell are you doing?" he finally snapped, his rage in his voice. I gaped, shocked. Kit NEVER lost his cool like this!

"It's just a game, Kit," I answered carefully. "It doesn't mean anything…"

"Dammit, Akalia!" he swore, taking my arms in his hands, looking down at me with a deep, dark frown. "You can't afford to be so careless, so reckless! And with Hirako at the worst! This stops now! Right now!"

My heart was racing at the dark look in his eyes.

"Kit… you're scaring me," I whispered, my body starting to tremble. He growled.

"Not nearly enough," he told me firmly. "You KNOW you can't get involved with ANY of these guys. Akalia, you KNOW that!"

I wanted to argue, but he cut me off.

"Did you forget who you are?" he snarled. "Dammit, woman! You're in no position to go philandering around with ANY men! What if your father found out, hm?"

Immediately, I paled.

"Is that what you want?" he demanded, giving me a firm shake.

"N-no!" I objected, now feeling the fear surging inside of me. "P-please! I'll stop! I-I'll tell Shinji—"

"Captain Hirako!" Kit corrected immediately. "Distance yourself, dammit!"

I winced at his grip and his shaking, but I nodded quickly.

"Captain Hirako," I corrected myself loudly. "I'll tell Captain Hirako tomorrow!"

"You'll tell him tonight!" Kit snarled. "Don't you forget who you are! Don't you forget what they'll do if they learn the truth about you!"

I felt tears start falling down my face.

"I-I… I won't," I sobbed, giving in completely. Kit sighed heavily, then hugged me.

"I don't do this to hurt you, Akalia," he reminded me softly. "But you're getting in too deep. You can't trust ANY of them. They're SOUL REAPERS… remember that."

I nodded and he released me, the two of us walking back to the Seireitei. Neither of us noticed the pair of green eyes that had seen the whole fight.

* * *

When I walked back into the courtyard, Shinji was sitting on the porch. But when he saw my tears, he rushed over to hold me… only for me to stop him with a hand on his chest, holding him away from me.

"Please don't, Captain Hirako," I said softly, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"It's—"

"Just stop," I told him, finally looking into his confused eyes. "I should not have let this get so out of hand… I came to you to train, not anything else. If we cannot keep it at training, training meaning focusing only on that, then I'll just have to master this ability alone."

"Akalia…"

I bit back another fresh wave of tears as I lowered my gaze, making the final breaker.

"That's Sixth Seat Sapphirano to you," I managed to say coldly, feeling my heart shatter as his once shaking hands stilled completely. After a few moments of silence, I gave him a slight bow, and left the courtyard.

"What the hell just happened?" I heard him whisper to himself.

* * *

The next month and a half was hard. I trained every day… and I refused to stop training for any reason… not that Shinji really wanted much to do with me now. After that night, he had tried hard to reach out to me, to approach me again, but I kept him at a distance, no matter how much it hurt me to do so.

And that pain still ate at me. Being without him, not seeing him smiling at me or grinning… not hearing his laughter towards me… It caused a deep ache in my heart. When he had finally given up, he had just become cold, pure business when it came to training… and never wanting anything to do with me otherwise.

The 'break-up' of Shinji and I served to distance many of my 'friends' too. As they had known him longer, they had chosen his side. Now, only Kit, a very stubborn Sosuke, and Kouga remained as my companions. Kouga had told me that he didn't understand what happened, but wouldn't press for answers either. I was grateful, immensely so… and he knew it.

Kouga was also the only one that knew my heart was breaking without Shinji. He had only mentioned it once, though, having realized how much pain the mere mention of Shinji caused me.

After that month and a half, I was finishing my final day of training with all my instructors. Thanks to Yoruichi, I could now use Shunko. I was proud of that and glad to have graduated her training. As for Kensei, well, I'd managed to beat him in battle so he considered that a success.

Lastly, now I had to face Shinji… the one that hurt the most… I knew he would not go easy on me. It was with a great nervousness that I entered the courtyard that evening. Sure enough, he was waiting for me, his sword drawn and ready for battle.

"Ready for your final test?" he asked. I nodded.

"Of course, Captain," I answered, using the title only to keep the distance between us. There were several times during our training I'd catch myself forgetting myself. Several times that eyes wandered. Several times that hands lingered… or the body would react to proximity… I doubted he knew it or had caught any of it… He only retained his cold disposition.

I pulled my blade and prepared for battle, breathing slowly and carefully, trying to keep my heart steady, my mind clear.

"Collapse, Sakanade," he said softly, beginning the fight. Immediately after taking the first breath, I summoned the eyes, barely blocking a swift attack, countering with a swift kick… that he blocked.

Each blow went back and forth, back and forth, evenly matched to a degree… until my time-limit was reached fifty-minutes after starting.

"Shit!" I swore as the eyes disappeared, leaving me at the mercy of Shinji's zanpakuto. I stayed ready, struggling to focus as the dizzying effects of losing the ability took me for a moment… before I felt an arm wrap around my waist… and soft lips capture my own.

My eyes widened for only a second… before closing as I gave in, dropping Durnehviir as I slid my hands up the body in front of me, eagerly tangling my fingers in his hair. The feeling of disorientation disappeared as well and the lips left mine to kiss all over my face, giving me a second to realize that Shinji had also dropped his weapon, releasing me from its spell… and placing me under a spell all his own.

His lips caught mine again, his hand tangling in my hair, holding my head up to his, his other hand wrapped around my waist, holding my body to his. When he broke away for a moment, letting his lips press heated kisses down my neck, I couldn't contain my soft moan.

"Shinji…"

His hands grabbed my thighs and jerked my body up his, wrapping my legs around his waist as he kissed me again. I shivered at his touch and returned his kiss with all the fire I possessed within me. I soon felt a wall at my back, letting Shinji release my thighs and let his hands slide up my frame, up to cup and tease my breasts.

I gasped softly, arching into his warm, muscular frame, his lips trailing kisses down my neck once more, making me moan softly, desperately tangling those fingers into his hair. Those lips trailed down to the opening in my robe, along the curves of my breasts, making me pant and shiver—

WHAM!

I screeched as I fell to the ground, only to realize that a furious Kit stood in front of me. His dark glare centered on Shinji, whom he had punched through the garden wall. Deciding he would not be getting up, he turned to me, his gaze a full-blown fury of the likes I'd never seen before.

"K-Kit, I—"

SMACK!

My head snapped to the side, the force of his slap stunning me. Slowly, I turned to look back at him in both shock and fear.

"YOU NEVER LISTEN!" he roared, slapping me again. This time, the force was enough to bash my skull into the wall, making me cry out in pain. "DAMMIT AKALIA! YOU ARE SWORN TO ME!"

"What?" I asked quietly, shock freezing me in place. Kit snarled and grabbed my chin with bruising strength, forcing me to look at him.

"When your father entrusted you to me, he told me you BELONGED to me!" he spat out, his white-hot fury in his voice. "You're MINE! AND I WON'T LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE YOU!"

This was a Kit I knew nothing about. This was a stranger, a monster! Tears began to stream down my face as my heart began to ache.

"No…" I whispered pitifully, sobs in my throat. "No, you cannot be him… You can't be Kit… Kit would never do this to me…"

My words earned me another hard slap, slamming my head into the wall again, making me cry out in pain once more.

"Collapse, Sakanade!"

I had never been so grateful to hear his voice than right at that moment.

"Shinji…" I slurred, the blood-loss and pain making it very hard for me to talk. The two figures in front of me were starting to blur as I fought the darkness I knew was coming. As the dark hands closed in on me, I uttered a final whisper. "Shinji… help…"

And all faded to black.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading thus far, dearest readers. I would appreciate some feedback, if I may ask. We writers do request this to know how well or poorly we are doing at the moment. Reviews are greatly appreciated, even if you wish to remain anonymous. Please leave a short opinion and I'll be sure to thank you for it in the next chapter.**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	8. Grieving

**Thanks for the review! It helps a person know when what we write isn't just a bunch of gobbly-gook! Much appreciated and I hope to have more. Next chapter as a reward!**

* * *

 **It was dark, very dark… and in the mists of that darkness, I heard a scream of rage! I remembered this… and raced forward, hoping for some new clue!**

 **A shadow of black fell around my friends before they all hit the ground, most of them unconscious from the wound the sneak attack had given them. Among them was a face I still did not know… but the formation of the masks was there… Shinji, however, was still conscious, though he seemed more upset than I'd ever seen before. He was talking to someone; someone I couldn't see… and I couldn't hear a word that was being spoken.**

 **After a few moments, I saw Kisuke and another man appear, both openly shocked at the sight of the others, before they turned their gaze to the man I could not see.**

 **Agonized, I couldn't bear to watch anymore, and turned my gaze away… and the vision faded to black.**

With a cry, I jerked awake, only to startle the sleeping Soul Reaper at my side into wakefulness as well.

"Akalia?"

My eyes snapped over to meet brown, those beautiful brown eyes…

"Shinji!"

I launched myself into his arms and cried.

"I saw it again, my vision," I sobbed. "It's definitely a vision… and I tried to stay longer, tried to learn more… b-but I—"

"Shh," he told me softly, stroking my hair. "Shh… It's all right… I'm right here with you…"

He let me cry until I calmed… at least until I recalled what had happened prior to me blacking out. Now, a fresh wave of tears fell from my eyes. I was almost afraid to ask… but I had to know.

"Kit?" I asked softly, hearing the despair in my voice. Shinji stiffened… then sighed.

"He was executed for treason three days ago," he revealed. "You've been in a coma for about five months… and a lot's happened."

"Like what?" I asked, accepting the Kleenex so I could wipe my eyes and blow my nose.

"Kouga is dead," he stated, making me freeze. "He was framed for treason… then went berserk. I didn't get the details of it all… but he slew the Captains of squads 3 and 10, as well as the lieutenant of squad 10. We believe those three were the ones behind his framing… and he figured that out."

I was shaking.

Kouga… my beloved Kouga… dead.

"Why didn't I see this?" I whispered in shock, struggling to come to terms with this. "Why didn't I see this?!"

Abruptly, Shinji grabbed my arms firmly and forced me to look at him.

"Don't you dare go into hysteria on me now!" he said forcefully. "Not when I just got you back!"

I swallowed hard and forced my mind to focus only on Shinji, only on the man that sat next to my bed… Wait… This wasn't my bed…

I looked around the room carefully, puzzled.

"You're in the fourth division," he spelled out, realizing what I was doing. My eyes snapped back to his. "I brought you here… after my duel with Kit got interrupted. Apparently, others heard you scream in pain… and came running to help.

I sighed and nodded, relaxing a bit.

"You had lost so much blood," he went on, his voice starting to sound hollow. "I wasn't sure they were going to be able to save you…"

I cupped his cheeks in my hands and looked at him with a warm smile.

"I'm here, Shinji," I told him softly. "I'm here WITH you…"

As if to prove it, I kissed him softly, glad when he responded, though he kept it chaste. And that brought up an interesting question.

"Shinji… during that last day of training… why DID you kiss me?" I asked, confused. Shinji got a small grin back on his face.

"I figured it was my last chance to get through to you," he answered. "Call it my most desperate measure."

"And if I hadn't responded?" I asked softly. He lost his grin, frowning at me.

"Then I'd have given up hope all together," he replied openly. "Akalia—"

"OH MY GOD! AKALIA'S AWAKE!"

At the high-pitched shriek of Mashiro, several sets of footsteps rushed to my room, the room quickly filling with all my friends. Sosuke, Kensei, Mashiro, Love, even Hiyori had come.

"Guys…" I said softly, feeling tears stinging my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" asked Yoruichi, stepping into the room, Kisuke right behind her, Soifon after him. I gave a half-hearted shrug.

"I've been better," I replied, making her chuckle and lightly ruffle my hair.

"Did he tell you about—"

"Kit and Kouga?" I cut in. She nodded and I nodded back. "Yeah… he told me."

Try as I may, that still came out full of grief.

"I knew you were close to Kouga," came a soft female voice. I looked up in surprise.

"Lady Kuchiki!" I greeted, making her smile sadly.

"My husband wrote this letter in prison," she told me. "It's addressed to you."

"How are you holding up?" I asked gently, taking the letter and setting it aside. I'd read it when I was alone. She spared me a small, weak smile.

"Day by day," she answered. "Though I'm not long for this world…"

I felt saddened by that and hugged her tight.

"Please don't leave me, too," I whispered, thinking aloud. That got several people to sadden their gazes… and got her to hug me a little tighter.

"One of us has to be with Kouga now," she reminded me softly. "And we can't do that from here… I mean to join him, to stay at his side… Can you say you would not do the same?"

I had no answer. She knew I would not hesitate were it me in her shoes. She nodded sadly and kissed my temple.

"Our estate belongs to you now," she told me. "Ginrei, as a last request to Kouga before he… Kouga asked Ginrei to adopt you, to give you the family you lost."

I was at a complete loss for words.

"You're a Kuchiki now," she finished, hugging me again. "Please take care of everything for us."

I burst into tears again and she left us, left me in the arms of my friends.

"Kouga…"

My pained whisper, made those in the room sadder still. Shinji opted to be the one to hold me at this time.

"We're all here for you," he reminded me softly, then gave a half-hearted grin. "Can't let my 'first love' be alone."

"Shinji!"

I hit him, making him laugh… and everyone else followed in laughter afterwards, myself included. In that moment, I knew I was going to be okay… that we all were. We had each other. We could handle the world… just like this.

* * *

Everyone had left me once visiting hours were over… everyone but Shinji. He was the only one allowed to stay. According to Unohana, he'd been there the entire time, leaving the running of his squad completely to Sosuke. My eyes strayed up to the letter on the table and Shinji handed it to me.

"Might as well get it over with," he told me. I nodded and took it in my hand carefully. It was all I had left of him, the last piece of the man that had nearly completely held my heart… before I'd forced my heart to move on to Shinji.

 _Dearest Akalia,_

 _If you're reading this, I'm probably dead… and for that I beg you to forgive me._

 _I promised we'd do a few missions together… but that seems unlikely now._

 _I have been set up to pay for a crime I did not commit… and I WILL find out who did it and punish them. This cell will not hold me._

 _But I digress. Do you remember when we took time to learn more about each other, how we talked about unrequited love?_

I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me anymore.

 _Akalia, the love I felt was unrequited… was my love for you._

My jaw dropped as I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. Tears gathered in my eyes as I struggled to absorb that line, reading and re-reading it again and again.

"Kouga…"

His name a pained whisper on my lips again.

 _I fell for you… hard… Though I'm not sure when it happened._

 _I know Muramasa held a special place for you in his heart as well, though he would argue we have the same heart._

 _Akalia, I don't know everything about you, nor do I understand what you're going through…_

 _but I couldn't die without telling you how I felt, letting you know that you were never far from my thoughts…_

 _The amulet I left with this letter is yours, though I believe my wife will probably hang on to it_

 _until her own passing, just because it belonged to me… Please know that I will always love you,_

 _wholly and completely… and I hope you find the love your own heart seeks with someone else._

 _Yes, even if that person is Shinji Hirako. I'm young, not blind._

 _I knew feelings were developing between the two of you… and I was happy._

 _I got to see you really glow, really smile… then Kit spoke to you in the forest._

 _I saw it all, heard every word, but I kept silent, figuring you would tell me when the time_

 _was right. Now there is no time left… but I hope you can come to trust another_

 _person enough to tell them the truth you could not bring yourself to share with me._

 _I don't know what you have against Soul Reapers or why you wouldn't be able to trust us,_

 _but please know that not all Soul Reapers are bad people. There do exist a few goods ones…_

 _like me… and Shinji. God, you have no idea how hard it is to write that name or think of him, knowing he can have you as I never could…_

 _When I heard you scream, I raced to you… but you had lost so much blood… Unohana wasn't sure she could save you._

 _I knew you would live. You're too strong to die from a simple head-wound. That wretched creature you_

 _called Kit, however… I was one of the witnesses to his crimes, his crimes against you and against a Captain of the thirteen court_

 _guard squads. He was fighting in a Bankai state, too! I don't even have Bankai!_

 _But again, I digress. The point is, I guess, that I want you to move on with your life… but also know that you were never alone._

 _If I, a married man, could fall in love with you, I'm sure there are others that love you, ones that may never_

 _speak of their true feelings as I never did… until it was too late._

 _You are never alone, beloved Akalia… Even in death, my spirit stays beside you, stays with the heart of the one I will always love deeply._

 _In the unlikely chance that I survive, I'll marry you (after a divorce) and we'll live like they always do in_

 _those silly fantasy tales of yours. We'll live happily ever after… until death do us part._

 _I promise._

 _All the love in my heart and soul,_

 _Kouga_

The dam broke as I wept yet again. I had completely forgotten Shinji was there, had forgotten I'd been reading aloud, until two arms wrapped around my sobbing, shaking form. My heart ached deeply, very deeply.

"His love wasn't unrequited… was it?" Shinji asked softly. I shook my head, crying even harder.

"He took a part of me… I'll never get back," I answered, holding him close. "But he was also right about you…"

Shinji stiffened.

"Are you saying…"

"I'm saying, Shinji Hirako, that I fell in love with you," I spelled out plainly. "Gods, that month and a half was torture… Keeping my distance, closing myself off… then when you finally gave up… it hurt worse than when you were trying to reach me…"

Shinji's arms tightened around me, his heart beating fast against my own chest.

"I love you, too," he admitted, kissing my temple. "That's why I couldn't just give up, why I couldn't just let you go…"

I hugged him back, never wanting to let him go.

Now I knew, without a doubt, I had to stop my vision from coming true.

* * *

Lady Kuchiki passed away three months later. Shortly before, Rose became Captain of Squad Three, though Squad 10 remained vacant. During those three months, I was mainly confined to the Squad Four barracks, to recover from my coma. I got training from Kensei and Yoruichi again to rebuild the muscle I had lost during my poor state. Thanks to all of them, all my friends (including Sosuke who would bring me different types of teas every day), I was finally leaving that dreadful hospital behind.

As I stepped out into the open air, I breathed deeply, letting the scents permeate my mind.

"Look who's finally free," came the teasing voice of Yoruichi. I grinned and looked over at her. As expected, Soifon was right behind her.

"Gods, it feels strange being out here," I admitted. She grinned and pointed behind me. I didn't even get to be fully turned around before I was jerked up against a hard, hot body, a set of velvet lips snagging my own. I purred softly, leaning into the familiar planes of my well-known boyfriend… until we broke for breath.

"No more Unohana telling me to take it easy on you," he teased, his eyes promising steamy, sinful acts in the coming hours. I giggled.

"I'm out five minutes and you can't wait to get your dick wet," I teased, making him blush sheepishly. "You're terrible, Shinji."

He grinned at me.

"Are you truly objecting?" he asked, making me blush and look away in embarrassment. He laughed. "I thought not."

I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest, making him chuckle and hold me tightly.

"Sixth Seat Kuchiki?" asked a timid Soul Reaper boy. I looked at him. "The Captain would like a word with you."

I nodded, kissed Shinji one more time, then flashed to the office. Ginrei and his son were waiting for me there.

"Akalia," Ginrei greeted, his tone tired, his heart still grieved about Kouga.

"Sir," I greeted back softly, taking the offered seat next to him on the couch. "How've you been holding up… with everything?"

I expected him to brush off my question, as it WAS of a personal nature.

"Only time will heal these wounds," he replied, telling me it was a lot harder on him than I imagined. "Here is the key and the deed to my daughter's home… and Kouga's amulet. In the letter he left for myself, he asked that it be given to you."

I clutched the ruby to my chest, feeling the pain roll over me again, feeling the tears stinging my eyes.

"I was also made aware that Kouga and his wife had filed for divorce just before his imprisonment… and I know why," he went on, surprising his son. Apparently, that was something he'd not been privy to. I looked at my lap, a bit ashamed of the fact that Kouga was leaving the daughter of a Kuchiki… for me. "Do not despair, child. I do not blame you. The heart cannot be controlled."

I nodded softly, accepting that.

"Akalia… I brought you here, however, to clarify something for me," he finally stated, getting to the point. I looked him in the eyes, waiting. "Did you or did you not have relations with Kouga before the annulment of his marriage?"

I was shocked and appalled.

"Of course not!" I objected immediately. "He was MARRIED! It was wrong! I didn't even know how he felt about me until he wrote me that letter!"

That surprised (and pleased) Ginrei. So, he relaxed with a small, sad smile.

"So, he remained honorable at heart, even to the end," he commented softly. "Welcome to the Kuchiki clan, Akalia. I hope you will do us proud, even in the way you are currently courting Captain Shinji Hirako."

I blushed darkly, a little unnerved that he was drawing attention to that.

"Please keep in mind that all public actions are traced back to the Kuchiki name," he reminded me, though an amused smile tugged at his lips. It danced in his eyes. "I have not forgotten what it was like to be young and in love… but do try to restrain yourself while outside your home."

"Yes, sir," I answered, my tone as embarrassed as I was. He chuckled.

"Also, I am moving you up to third seat," he told me, surprising me. "You have been training very hard lately and did an excellent job of delegating during that training to ensure that your duties would still be fulfilled."

I flushed, realizing that Kouga had made me look good.

"I'm afraid that praise is undeserved, sir," I admitted. "I only told Kouga that I would not be able to complete my duties while I trained to the breaking point."

Ginrei smiled.

"Exactly," he answered, surprising and confusing me. "You entrusted the work to someone you knew would get the job done right. You delegated to the right person."

I flushed darkly, still feeling that the praise was unfair to Kouga, the man who had done all of my work for me. At the thought of him, I felt my heart throb again.

"Do you miss him?" I asked softly, unable to keep quiet. Ginrei paused and looked at me softly before nodding.

"Every day," he answered me.

"You never told him that," I commented softly. "And it hurt him a lot… he felt that nothing he did was ever good in your eyes… I know it's too late to make up for that with him… but, in a way, you can still honor that desire of his… by making sure your family knows that you care."

Ginrei sat there silently, looking at me… then his eyes gentled.

"I see," he said softly. "He even trusted you with his true emotions… He really DID love you."

The tears I'd fought slipped down my cheeks.

"And he'll never know his love was NOT unrequited," I stated, bowing quickly before taking my leave, the key and amulet clutched tightly in my hand. When I got back to my quarters, I found Sosuke waiting for me. Wordlessly, he opened his arms and I gladly ran into the hug he offered, letting the tears fall down.

"If this is what love feels like, I don't want it," I admitted. "Why does it hurt so much?"

Sosuke just hugged me tighter, letting me cry.

"Because your whole heart was in it," he answered me softly. "But this pain isn't all Kouga… it's Kit, too."

Kit…

That just made me cry even harder.

"How?" I whispered softly, clinging to Sosuke. "How could he betray me like that?"

Along with sadness, I felt a terrible anger.

"How could he?!"

My fists clenched and I felt the need to hit something.

"Hit me," he told me. "Let it all out on me."

So I did.


	9. More Secrets Created

**Thank you for the reviews. I update by the review... though I will be increasing the number of reviews required to get the next portion of the story as we go on.**

 **As for the mystery of what Kit did, the answer is simple. He attacked not only dearest Akalia, but also Captain Shinji Hirako. Attacking a Captain without the purpose of training is a jailing offense... but to take on the entire group of her rescuers and revealing a secret they share (which you will learn much later) caused for his death to be called for. Execution was generous for his crime.**

 **Both to be vexing and to keep up the suspense and confusion, I will not reveal her secrets all at once. If you are patient and read the many future chapters waiting to be devoured, you will unravel the mystery of dearest Akalia.**

 **Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this next chapter of Secrets and Lies.**

 **Viper-Sindel**

* * *

Three hours later, I cried myself to sleep in his arms. Considering it was morning, I assumed that Sosuke had moved me into my quarters, making sure I was comfortable on my bed, before leaving me to rest. The clock read my usual wake-up time, back before this whole mess.

"Old habits die hard?" came Sosuke's voice, making me jump. He was sitting at my small table with some fresh tea, looking over at me. He smiled softly at my confusion. "I figured the last thing you wanted was to be alone right now."

I smiled warmly, then theorized that I had to look awful. A glance in the mirror confirmed that and I shook my head with a small smile.

"I look like death warmed over," I commented dryly, making Sosuke chuckle.

"Congratulations on Third Seat," he told me, making me blush.

"It was undeserved," I stated. "I think Ginrei gave me credit for Kouga's work, not my own."

"Nonsense," he stated, handing me a cup of tea. I gladly sat down and drank it. "You delegated admirably."

I sighed and smiled softly.

"Why are you not in squad six?" I teased. "You and Ginrei think an awful lot alike."

Sosuke smiled.

"He just recognizes talent for leading when he sees it," he replied, handing me a few baked-fresh cinnamon rolls from down the street.

"You think of everything, Sosuke," I said, kissing his cheek before starting to eat, making him blush slightly. "What would I do without you?"

"Be completely lost," he teased, making me laugh and hit his arm lightly. He chuckled and we finished breakfast. Afterwards, he went to work and I took off for the bathhouse. I took as quick of a shower as I could, then dressed and headed off for my own day of work.

However, every time someone called me Third Seat, I kept looking around for Kouga… only to painfully remember that he was no longer here. The title I felt I did not deserve was pure torture that day… tearing me apart with every greeting. It was as though everyone had forgotten all about my beloved Kouga. Of course, everyone else had not been as close to him as I had. No one else had held his heart, his love, his soul… and he would never know that mine had been mostly his all along. I cared about Shinji, yes, a part of me even loved him… but not like how I had loved Kouga. Not at all like that.

I had too much trouble concentrating… and Ginrei noticed. He sent me home early, telling me to take the day to clear my head… so I did. I walked up slowly to the manor I now owned. It was not as huge as the head of the family's house, but it was still substantial. Four stories of varying shapes and sizes, spread out like a castle over six blocks… I kept expecting to see Lady Kuchiki or Kouga… but my heart knew I would not… as I wandered from room to room.

Flashes of memory assaulted me everywhere I looked. Times where the three of us had eaten together, when Kouga and I had stayed up late to talk and laugh, playing board games into the night… Snapshots of the food fights the three of us had gotten into…

When I got to the master bedroom, I struggled to open the door. My mind knew I had to… but my heart was very reluctant. Inside, everything was still neat and tidy, thanks to the servants, the large four-poster bed a welcoming sight to my weary mind.

 **Master?**

I paused and glanced at my sword.

 **There's a strange distortion of time and space in this place…**

I frowned, sensing it just as he said it.

 **Come to your Soul Room. You need to see this.**

So I sat down on the bed, pulling Durnehviir across my lap. With a soft sigh, I sent my mind inward, soon coming to rest in the large mountainous region that was my soul room. Nearby, a very large, decaying dragon rested before a large towering stone, something written on it in a tongue I did not know. I called it a word-wall.

"What is it?" I asked. He gestured to look at the wall and— "What the?!"

There was a dark, black door in the middle of the wall!

"Wha… what is this, Durnehviir?" I asked. He shrugged, telling me he didn't know any more than I did. "Should… should I go through it?"

He looked at me, his aged, wise eyes looking right through me.

"In this case," he said softly. "I believe you should."

So, nervous as all hell, I stepped through the doorway… into a place filled with darkness! There was a dark mist everywhere, making it hard to see.

"Hello?"

My voice echoed… and the darkness stirred.

"Is anyone there?" I called out again. Just as I was about to give up, a voice rose from the dark.

"A-Akalia?"

I froze, my heart stopping for just a moment, before it started to race.

"Kouga?" I whispered, painful hope in my voice as I dared not believe what I'd heard.

"Akalia!"

His yell resounded around me as I ran forward, trying to find him.

"Kouga!" I cried back, charging forward through the mist. "Kouga, where are you?"

"I'm here!" he called back, his voice getting closer. "I'm over here!"

A dark shape took form in the mist and I ran right for it, ran right into the warmth and arms of my beloved friend and keeper of my heart. If I doubted even for a moment what was happening, the feel of his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him, banished the ability.

"K-Kouga… how?" I asked softly, feeling tears stinging my eyes. "How is this possible? You… You're dead…"

His eyes darkened with anger and hate.

"I'm not dead," he bit out. "Ginrei and Yamamoto betrayed me. They sealed me away!"

I was shocked, my heart threatening to stop.

"What?" I asked, my voice disbelieving and heavy. He looked at me.

"So did Muramasa," he went on. "I called for him, asked for his help, and he didn't answer me! He wasn't there when I needed him most!"

I shook my head.

"I'm sure there's a good explanation for all of this," I argued both with him and myself. "But right now, I really don't care what it is…"

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight.

"I've missed you so…"

My soft, sorrow-filled whisper seemed to chase away his anger, his hate. His whole body relaxed as he just held me.

"Did… did you get my letter?" he asked softly, hesitantly. I looked up at him and decided actions spoke louder than words. I cupped his cheek with my hand, then leaned up quickly and kissed him. His surprise lasted only moments before he kissed me back, pulling me flush against him, up off the ground, as he spun me around.

"It wasn't unrequited…" he whispered, realizing. I shook my head.

"Not even for a second," I assured him, letting my hand run through his hair, though I saw his hair-ornament missing along with a portion of his red locks. "What happened?"

He frowned.

"After being betrayed by Ginrei, I was no longer able to think of myself as a Kuchiki," he answered me. "So I cut it off."

That hurt a bit.

"Well, as his honoring your last request, I became one," I admitted, surprising him. "He was always so proud of you, Kouga… but he worried that you would become consumed by your power and lose yourself along the way, as so many others had before you…"

He placed a finger to my lips.

"I don't want to talk about Ginrei… or anyone else right now," he told me softly, his piercing green eyes looking deeply into mine. "The only thing I want right now… is you."

It warmed my heart to hear that.

"Kouga…"

And he kissed me, letting his hand run through my hair, his other hand gliding down my back to rest on my hip. I shivered at the touch and kissed him back, letting him know just how much I loved him. Slowly, he pulled back, leaning his head against mine.

"I've wanted to do this for so long…"

His soft whisper filled my heart with joy, with love for the man that stood before me.

"I love you," I whispered softly, watching a warm smile cross his face.

"I love you, too," he told me, kissing me again. I practically melted into him, it was so sweet, so loving… so full of the passion he had just for me… before he pulled away again and just held me, held me like he never wanted to let go.

"How is this possible?" I thought aloud, making him get a contemplative look. "Where are we? Is this just a dream?"

"God, I hope not," was his reply. "I don't think my heart could take it if it WAS just a dream."

" **It is not**."

The familiar voice sent me into pure shock.

"Ada?" I asked tentatively. "W-what is this?"

" **My gift to you** ," he answered me, his voice coming from all around us. " **Call it… making up for you having to lose your family all those years ago, my child.** "

I got an amused look.

"Technically, I didn't lose them," I pointed out. "They're still very much alive… I just can't go see them… though they can come see me."

A low chuckle was all I got.

" **I will only allow you to visit Kouga like this twice a month** ," he told me. " **Kouga, your story does not end here, with your incarceration. You will see the world again… and it will be up to you whether you get to live in it… or die a traitor's death.** "

Then I sensed him leave, the feelings filling my heart causing me to hold Kouga tightly to myself. While I was dismayed that I would only see my beloved twice a month, I understood why. Ada wanted me to move on with my life, not just cling to the past… just in case Kouga made the wrong decision upon his release.

Kouga looked at me, his face puzzled.

"Was that your father?" he asked. I shook my head.

"He was my grandfather," I answered. "I was born with great and terrible power, power I could neither contain nor control. Fearing for my life and my safety, my parents begged my grandfather to save me. Ada told them the only thing he could do was seal my power within me, but that would not keep me safe. I would have to be sent forward in time to a place where the world would have forgotten I'd existed… and my parents had let me go. 700 years later, I was given to a hollow named Ulquiorra to be taken to the Soul Society, to a family that had long served mine. Their son was to journey with me and keep me safe. He was to be my friend and consort."

"Kit!" Kouga said, surprised, understanding much at last.

"I didn't know about the consort part until Kit blurted it out when he was bashing my skull in," I went on. "Anyway, Ulquiorra disobeyed. Yes, he went and got Kit, but then he raised us for many years together in Hueco Mundo, using his power to keep us hidden completely from everyone else. When we were fully grown, I accidentally got too far from that barrier… and enemies of my father's attacked. Ulquiorra lost his life that day, but used the last of his power to cast me and Kit into the Living World through a garganta."

I paused, letting Kouga absorb that.

"While in the living world, we were discovered by a Soul Reaper who got frustrated when their konso didn't work on our souls," I continued. "After that, he came back frequently to check on us. After a while, he stopped coming and we met someone new. Sosuke Aizen."

Kouga's eyes widened again.

"It was Sosuke's idea to bring us back to the Soul Society," I explained. "It was also shortly after that, about a year, that Kit and I enrolled in the academy. Six years later, we graduated and joined the thirteen court guard squads… and you know the rest."

Kouga shook his head in wonder, trying to absorb all this.

"This is what you couldn't tell me, what Kit was talking about," he figured out. I nodded slowly. "Being raised by a hollow, it's no wonder that you were wary of Soul Reapers…"

I nodded, sighing softly.

"So… now you know a bit more of my secrets," I told him, making him look at me sharply.

"There's more?" he asked. I nodded, getting tense.

"I'm not ready to explain the others just yet," I admitted, relaxing when he smiled warmly.

"Then I won't press for answers," he assured me. I kissed him softly.

"That's one of the reasons I so love you," I revealed. "You're so wonderful… though I have a question. Your letter said you would file for divorce AFTER you got your revenge, yes?"

He nodded.

"I take it then that you were unaware that you and your wife had already filed for divorce three weeks prior to your incarceration," I stated, making his eyes widen in shock. "It would seem your wife already knew… and cared about you enough to let you go."

He was openly surprised and touched.

"I… I never knew… she cared that much…"

"She passed away three months after you 'died', leaving everything to me."

Kouga shook his head, tears starting to fall from his eyes. Softly, I just held him, letting him cry. After a bit, he looked at me calculatingly.

"Are you in my house now?" he asked. I nodded.

"Master bedroom," I answered. He smiled softly.

"Go to the dresser, third drawer down, far left back corner," he told me. "I meant to give it to you at your birthday party… but when it got cancelled… well…"

He blushed a bit and I chuckled, kissing him softly.

 **Master?**

Kouga jumped, startling me.

"Is that… Durnehviir?" he asked. I nodded, surprised.

 **Master, Shinji's here, waiting for you to wake up.**

I sighed.

"And there ends our time for this visit," I said sadly, kissing Kouga softly. He held me, held me like he refused to ever let go.

"I don't want to lose you just yet," he admitted, his voice husky as tears started to fill his eyes again. Hearing his voice, tears started to well up in my own.

"Nor do I," I agreed. "But I must… I have duties to attend to… and I think a change of division is in order. I cannot serve under Ginrei or Yamamoto anymore, not with the knowledge that they lied to me, to everyone, and betrayed you so."

He sighed and kissed me softly, lovingly.

"I hope time flies before you return to me," he whispered, kissing me again. I returned his passion, his fervor. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I told him, kissing him one last time… then slowly pulled away and looked to my right. There was the black door, waiting for me. "Until next we meet, love of my soul."

He smiled sadly.

"Until then, keeper of mine," he answered… and I walked through the door. Back in my own soul room, I sighed heavily… then forced myself to wake up.

Sure enough, sitting on the bed next to me, was a familiar blonde.

"Shinji," I greeted warmly. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

He just grinned.

"Eh, it wasn't that long," he told me. Remembering Kouga's words, I walked over to the dresser and opened the drawer. Reaching in, I felt a small box and pulled it out. Curiously, I sat back down on the bed and held it in my hand. It was too big for a ring, too small for a hair ornament…

"What's that?" he asked. I spared him a small smile.

"Something Kouga left me," I answered. "He meant to give this to me at my birthday bash, but it got cancelled."

Shinji nodded and let me open it. Seconds later, I nearly dropped the box, my hand flying to my mouth as tears gathered in my eyes.

Inside… was a matching amulet to the one Kouga had always worn. In fact, it looked like…

Wordlessly, I took it out of the box and held up his amulet, looking between them both. I was shocked at what I saw!

"Looks like they fit together," Shinji said quietly, reaching over and putting the two amulets back-to-back. Sure enough, they fastened like they'd always been part of each other. Immediately, I started to cry. This had been Kouga's way to tell me that he loved me, that we were two halves of a whole…

 _Kouga…_

Shinji realized just what I had, an upset look coming to his face for a moment… before he pushed it aside and hugged me, offering me the comfort I desperately needed.

"Easy," he cooed softly, running his fingers soothingly through my hair. "Let it out…"

And I did. I cried until I had no tears left to shed.

"Gods, I hope this gets easier," I commented softly. Shinji kissed my cheek.

"I'm sure it will," he told me. I smiled softly, then remembered something else, making me frown.

"I need to transfer to another division," I stated, startling him again.

"Why?" he asked. I got a pained expression.

"I was made third seat," I explained, like that said it all. Fortunately, Shinji was very intelligent… and knew exactly what I meant.

"I'll ask Captain Kuchiki for a squad transfer to seat four in mine," he told me, making me smile softly.

"You're amazing, Shinji," I told him honestly. He grinned and waved off the compliment, getting a light blush.

"Just doing what I do best," he told me. "Taking care of my girlfriend."

I chuckled and he kissed me softly.

"Shall we go get some supper?" he asked. "Everyone's looking forward to seeing you now that you're out. We've planned a party, too."

I laughed.

"In other words, you're using my get-out-of-jail-free card as an excuse to get drunk," I rephrased, making him laugh. I chuckled and got up, letting him lead me out the door and to the courtyard of squad five. All of my friends were there, Kensei manning the grill, Shunsui pulling out tons of bottles of sake, and Jushiro passing out sweets.

"Thanks for coming, everyone," greeted Shinji, making everyone give varying responses… minus the expected one from Hiyori.

WHACK!

A sandal hit his face, sending him crashing to the ground nearby, making me laugh.

"You're late! How can you be late to your own party?!"

Still giggling, I walked over to Kensei, accepting a kabob. Taking a bite, my eyes lit up.

"This is positively sinful, Kensei!" I squealed, making him blush a bit, though he grinned in pride. "Gods, it's like an orgasm in my mouth!"

Now he really blushed, all pride gone as shock and embarrassment took their place. Mashiro started laughing uproariously at his face while a few others shared his expression.

"It's official," I stated. "I'm coming to your house for dinner every night."

"He's a really good cook, isn't he?" Mashiro agreed. "That's my Kensei!"

"Yours?" I asked teasingly, quirking a brow. Then I gave an exaggerated pout, wrapping my arms around Kensei's neck, making him go bright red. "Oh, Kensei! How could you?! I was supposed to get the first date!"

Poor Kensei was so red as he pushed me away, sputtering some nonsense that only served to make me laugh. Abruptly, I was jerked into a hot kiss, Shinji's jealous side showing again, making me giggle and kiss him back. Teasing hoots and whistles surrounded us, making me blush and giggle some more, breaking the kiss. Shinji was grinning at me.

"Mine," he told me, stealing a quick kiss before letting me go, keeping his arm around my waist. I giggled and let him, finding his jealous side extremely endearing.

"I wanna propose a toast to our dearest Akalia," Shunsui said, raising his glass. Others quickly grabbed their own and looked at him. "Welcome back and please don't scare us like that again!"

Everyone laughed, but took a drink anyway. I chuckled and shook my head. Looking around me, joy filled my heart. This… this was what having a family, a real family, felt like. All around me, people were talking, laughing, and having fun. It made me smile.

I miss Kouga… but at least, even without him here, I know I'm not alone anymore…

* * *

I was transferred to squad five in three days' time. It was one of the fastest transfers on record. Ginrei had been puzzled why I'd wanted to step down a seat, until I explained that I couldn't hear that title without getting painfully reminded of one who was no longer here. He had relented immediately and let me leave with his blessing.

I had taken to wearing the joined amulets all the time now, the rubies resting right over my heart. Deep down, I knew it irked Shinji, seeing that blatant claim of Kouga's on my chest, but I couldn't bring myself to leave it behind. He tolerated it quite well, never asking me to remove it, either.

Sosuke, on the other hand, was another story entirely. He was not pleased that I continued to wear that amulet, telling me that clinging to the past was NOT going to help me move on from Kouga. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I never had to, thanks to Ada. Sosuke was also not pleased that I was dating Shinji, claiming he believed I was rebounding on him at the loss of Kouga, using Shinji to deal with my own pain.

In a way, he was right… so I couldn't really argue with him… but I also refused to let him walk all over me with his opinions. Finally, after two days of arguments, he revealed the real reason he didn't like me with Shinji. Sosuke didn't trust him and didn't like him. I shut that up really quick as soon as I pointed out that, if Shinji was so bad, why had we not gone to bed together for more than sleeping yet? Sosuke had turned bright red and had immediately told me he was glad to hear that, but it was something he hadn't really needed to know.

I smiled, shaking my head as I forced those thoughts away, stepping into the office. True to prediction, Sosuke was stuck doing ALL of the paperwork while Jazz music played. Shinji was relaxing in his chair, looking over some reports that had him frowning something fierce.

"Keep frowning like that and your face will get stuck," I teased. The blonde sighed and looked at me with a small grin.

"Well, you could always come over here and make my day better," he suggested, making me chuckle and Sosuke shot him a dark look (one Shinji completely missed).

"Not in front of me, Captain," came the voice of our third seat from the sofa, a young prodigy by the name of Gin Ichimaru. I absolutely loved that boy. Others found him creepy, due to his eyes almost always being shut and his mouth always being turned up in a large, deceptive smile.

"Of course not," I assured him, lightly running my nails through his hair. I'd learned shortly after meeting him that he loved this. Such a simple touch, but it soothed him like none other. One time, I swear I'd made him purr. He smiled up at me and I took the seat next to him, pulling him over to lean back on my lap, his head resting on my thighs so I could aimlessly run my nails in his hair. It relaxed me just as much as it did him. After a few minutes, I was rewarded with a view of his baby blues as he opened them to look at me.

"You spoil me," he told me. I grinned.

"You deserve to be spoiled," I replied, giggling as I saw Shinji's jealous expression. "Anything I need to take care of today?"

"Not off the top of my head," was his reply. "But there is a mission coming up. It's a simple run to Hueco Mundo to gather some intelligence."

I tensed immediately, not that Shinji noticed. Gin and Sosuke did, though, considering my hand had stilled completely.

"I'm considering sending you and Gin," he thought aloud, making my heart sink. "Do you think you've trained hard enough for this?"

Unable to lie, I agreed.

"Yes," I answered, thankful my stiffness and nervousness didn't slip into my voice.

"Could you run these to squads eight and thirteen?" asked Sosuke. I shot him an extremely grateful look as I took them, one he smiled at, telling me he knew I'd needed to get away for a moment.

"Sure," I answered, then glanced at the boy in my lap. "Wanna come?"

His smile lit up like the night sky, making me smile back, nervousness and tension forgotten.

"Yes!"

I giggled and ruffled his hair as he sat up. I took the stack from Sosuke and Gin walked at my side out of the room. Once we were out of earshot, Gin frowned at me.

"Do you not want to go to Hueco Mundo?" he asked. I spared him a strained smile.

"It's not a matter of want," I answered him evasively, hoping he'd just drop it. Thankfully, he did. "Are you excited to go there? Have you been there before?"

His usual smile reappeared on his face.

"No, I've never been there," he replied. "But I hope we get to battle a few hollows while we're there."

I shook my head with another strained smile.

"We may get a hell of a lot more than we bargained for," I whispered ruefully, knowing well he probably heard me. Gin's hearing was almost terrifying. Fortunately, he chose not to respond.

"Akalia!"

I turned with a smile to face Mashiro as she bounced over, hugging me excitedly.

"What on earth has you so happy?" I asked, unable to help myself as her boundless joy began to sink into me as well.

"There's a party tonight at Squad Nine's courtyard," she told me. "Kensei's cooking again!"

"I am so there!" I told her, making said man blush slightly as he slowly walked up, a few of his upper-seats following him. I jumped over and hugged him, looking up into his eyes from mere inches away. "Where you off to, gorgeous?"

His blush darkened.

"Hey!" Mashiro pouted, pulling me away from Kensei. "Get your own Keni-kun!"

I laughed as Kensei grew even redder.

"Keni-kun?" I teased, making said male now glare at Mashiro as she started to explain in exaggerated words about the nickname. It had me laughing so hard there were tears rolling down my face, especially when Kensei reached his limit and his own squad members had to hold him back, to keep him from hurting Mashiro. Which, of course, only started another fight between him and Mashiro, making me laugh even more.

"So, when are you two getting married?" I teased. Immediately, both of them blushed darkly and denied it emphatically. I laughed, enjoying their embarrassment. A soft chuckling next to me reminded me that Gin was here, making me grin at him. "Sorry guys. I gotta finish this paper run. I'll get more details on that wedding date later!"

Then I bolted, Kensei roaring threats through a tomato-colored face, Mashiro screaming denials after me. I was helplessly giggling as Gin kept pace with me. When we reached the eighth, I walked to the office and knocked on the door.

"Come on in," Lisa called, making me smile.

"Shunsui slacking again?" I asked, handing her the paperwork. She nodded, rolling her eyes.

"Honestly, how a man like that is a captain is beyond me," I commented, knowing Shunsui (who was resting on the roof) could hear me.

"You and me both," Lisa agreed, then shooed me away. I giggled and left, walking quietly towards the thirteenth. I lightly played with the amulets I wore, catching Gin's eyes.

"Why do you still cling to Kouga?" he asked me. I smiled softly and decided to trust Gin.

"Because I know he's not dead, Gin," I answered quietly. "My Ada allows me to speak to him twice a month. He was imprisoned, not killed."

I frowned.

"He was betrayed… thus the reason I could no longer serve under Yamamoto or Ginrei," I explained. "I'm going to see him again tonight. Ada said he would one day be freed, but we don't know when that is. Ada won't tell us. Until then, he and I make due with our few conversations."

That seemed to throw Gin a bit… so I decided to throw the last stone.

"I hope you're prepared for our mission," I warned softly, sighing heavily. "I can guarantee it won't go according to plan."

I said no more, knowing he'd get all the answers soon enough. Part of me wished it was Shinji going with me… but the other part of me was glad he wasn't. I wasn't sure how he'd react to my greatest secret.

"Akalia!" came a surprised yet gentle voice. I looked up to see Jushiro sitting on his deck. I smiled warmly. "And young Ichimaru. Welcome. What brings you this way?"

I smiled and handed him the paperwork, making him give me a rueful smile.

"Don't you ever come just to talk?" he asked. I chuckled.

"If I did that, you'd never get any work done," I teased, making him chuckle.

"Are you going to the party?" he asked. I smiled softly.

"Only for a little while," I answered. "I don't feel like sticking around once Kensei and Shinji start to get drunk."

Jushiro laughed, remembering my welcome-back party and how badly the two had behaved. They'd ended up naked as a jaybird, dancing on the table, singing way off key and really loudly. It had been hopelessly hilarious.

Then Jushiro handed Gin and I a few bags of candy, making me chuckle.

"Thanks, Ju," I said, kissing his cheek as Gin and I left. The walk was silent as we made our way back to the office. We just ate our candy and observed the people around us.

* * *

 **So, another part filled with secrets and questions. I hope this satisfies a number of your questions... and raises even more.**

 **Please Review and tell me how I'm doing! Even criticism is appreciated as it helps me mature as a writer.**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	10. A Night of Bliss

**And so I break my own rule. One review and I give you another chapter. I hope you enjoy the lemony goodness!**

 **And remember, R &R!**

 **Viper-Sindel**

* * *

I smiled softly as I stepped into the courtyard. The party was in full swing, Kensei, once again, manning the grill. It smelled so good that my stomach gave an involuntary growl. I blushed, glad that no one had heard that.

"Akalia!"

I smiled as I heard Gin's voice, seeing him over by the punch. I walked on over and joined him, gladly accepting the cup he offered. Shinji and Kensei were already drunk, the two in the middle of a drinking contest, making me chuckle.

"Having fun?" I asked him, running my fingers through his hair, watching the peaceful expression cross his face. It made me smile every time I saw it.

"Mmhm," he answered softly, leaning into my hand, making me giggle softly.

"You're so cute, Gin," I teased, making him crack open his eyes long enough to shoot me a dirty look before closing them in content again, a light pink lining his cheeks, making me giggle.

"Welcome to the party, Akalia," greeted Tosen, handing me a kabob and some rice balls. I smiled warmly.

"Thanks, Tosen," I said, eating slowly, savoring every bite. "How long has this been going on, our captains getting ridiculously drunk?"

"About an hour," he replied, shaking his head. I chuckled.

"I feel so sorry for you and Sosuke, having to deal with those two," I admitted.

"Aren't you dating Hirako?" he asked. I chuckled. "Doesn't that mean you DO have to deal with him?"

"Not when he's drunk," I answered. "I refuse to have anything to do with him when he's like that."

Without thinking, I slid my finger along Gin's mouth, wiping away a bit of barbecue sauce, licking it off my finger afterwards. His eyes had opened in his surprise, a dark blush spreading across his cheeks… not that I noticed, my eyes on a very tipsy Hiyori beating up a very drunk Shinji, yelling at him about drinking irresponsibly. It was making me chuckle.

"We should have a movie night for the next meeting of the women's association," Lisa was telling some of the other girls. They were agreeing, making me dread what kind of sappy movie they were going to make us sit through.

"Want some dessert?" asked Gin, getting my attention. I smiled warmly at him.

"I'd love some," I told him, watching him with fond eyes as he walked quickly to the long table piled high with treats. I chuckled as I watched him fill two small plates with a bit of everything that he liked… then he juggled them, bringing me back my plate. I giggled and accepted it, kissing his cheek, making him blush again.

"You're so sweet," I told him. "You're gonna have all the girls all over you."

He grinned and dug into his treats, making me chuckle again as I slowly ate mine, enjoying every bite.

"I think I'm going to bail," I told him quietly. He gave me a genuine smile.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Go to your hot date."

I laughed and ruffled his hair, taking my leave. I flashed back to my house, up to my room. There, I shut and locked the door, smiling as I mentally bounced in delight. I stepped into my soul room and raced for the black door, making Durnehviir chuckle at me and me stick my tongue out at him.

"Kouga!" I called the instant I was through the door. In seconds, I squealed as I was swept off my feet and spun around, giggling when he set me down again, pressing his lips to mine.

"I've missed you," he told me, looking into my eyes. I smiled warmly.

"And I, you," I replied, kissing him softly. Then he saw the amulets on my breast, making him smile and softly cup them in his hand.

"You wear these?" he asked softly, his voice telling me how much that pleased him. I nodded softly.

"Of course," I answered. "My heart is yours… and I'll be damned if I wear anything else so close to my heart."

"Even if it's something from Shinji?" he asked bitterly, making me frown. "I'm going to assume that you've actually started to see him romantically since my… passing…"

I sighed.

"Yes… and no," I answered. "It's complicated."

That got an amused expression from him, making me blush.

"I can't honestly say I'm truly dating him… when my heart really isn't in it," I explained. "And I think he knows that… We flirt enough to make everyone else around us permanently red in the face around us, but that's about it… We haven't really had a date or anything of the sort… Good lord, even you spent more time alone with me than he does, discounting Masa as he's technically an extension of you."

Kouga rolled his eyes, making me chuckle.

"He has no idea what he's missing," he told me, holding my body flush against his. "And I'm glad of that…"

"But…" I prompted, hearing it unsaid.

"I feel guilty keeping you all to myself," he admitted. "Especially when I can't really be there with you…"

I felt a heaviness in my heart, knowing he had a point, but not wanting to admit it. Softly, I reached up and cupped his face, turning his head to look at me. When his eyes met mine, I could see the war within him, could see how he struggled to remain an honorable man… when he really wanted to be selfish.

"Love is selfish," I told him softly, kissing him tenderly. "I choose to be yours, even when I cannot be."

He groaned and kissed me, the passion in it making my legs weak, his strong arms holding me up against him as he kissed me again and again. When his hand slid up my side, his thumb brushing over my clothed breast, I shivered, a soft moan slipping from my lips, making him gasp sharply before kissing me with dizzying heat.

"Gods, I love you," he said, kissing me again before I could reply, taking my breath away. "My sweet *kiss* beautiful *kiss* delicious *kiss* little temptress."

He kissed me again, my hands tangling in his hair as I pressed my body against his. Every inch that we touched was hyper-aware, each fractional movement sending shocks through me. When his lips slipped from mine to trail kisses and light nibbles down my neck, I cursed softly, trembling in his arms. Slowly, he slid my robe to the side with his teeth, revealing my lacy bra, which he slid up, baring my breast to his questing mouth. I shivered and moaned softly as he teased the nipple, sucking on it softly… Through my clothes, he managed to unfasten my bra, using his hand to quickly rip it away, the straps now completely useless as he tossed it aside, his mouth never ceasing its feasting and questing.

"Gods, Kouga… my delicious Kouga…"

He shivered at my voice and kissed back up to my lips, searing me with every touch of velvet against my sensitive, heated skin. He was breathing hard against me, his frame trembling around me as he looked into my eyes. Those eyes… they looked so wild, so untamed… I could feel my body start to burn at the look in them. My heart was racing, my breathing labored.

 **Before you even think it, I assure you what's happening is very real.**

Durnehviir's voice sounded so far away, but brought great relief to my mind.

 **You're going to need to buy a new bra, Master.**

Kouga chuckled and kissed me softly again and a flash of silver caught my eye. My gasp startled Kouga as his gaze followed mine, only to be surprised as well.

We were standing in what appeared to be his bedroom. Every piece of furniture was there, everything I'd added to the room present. After looking around a bit, my eyes went back to his, only to widen at the look in them.

Such heat. Such visceral hunger. The tender tether on his need snapped as his mouth descended, devouring mine with enough force, enough passion, to drive me to madness. I knew nothing but his touch, but his taste, his smell… His hands grabbed my thighs, jerking them up around his waist as he pressed me up against one of the bed posts. One of his hands slid away, slid down my frame, down to my sash and expertly untied it. Seconds later, my wrists were bound above my head, tied over the canopy, keeping them high.

I choked, my arousal growing by this devilishly dominant side of him, my body arching against his. He groaned and roughly ground his hips against mine. I broke with a soft cry of pleasure, making him smile. His hungry hands tore away my uniform, shredding it in his hunger as he threw it aside, leaving me in naught but my silk undies. He paused, stepping back to look at me. I would have blushed in embarrassment… if the look of pure, unaltered lust in his eyes wasn't threatening to make the heat I felt eat me alive.

"Kouga…" I pleaded, not sure what it was I wanted so desperately other than for him to touch me again. I didn't know what touch I wanted more, but I knew it had to be him. Nothing else would do!

"Akalia…" he whispered, his lips fastening to my neck, leaving a dark mark.

"Mm… Va-Vasilysa," I corrected breathlessly, making him pause. "My name *pant* is Vasilysa."

"Vasilysa," he rolled across his tongue, making me shiver at the sound. Who knew hearing your name spoken was enough to send sweet pleasure rolling through you? "It suits you."

Then he returned to my neck, his hand teasing my breast as he kissed up to my lips once more. I rolled my hips against his, desperately seeking his touch, making him hiss as I felt a hardness against me. Experimentally, I rubbed myself against that hardness, hearing an oath escape his lips at the sensation. The sound caused heat to surge between my legs along with a surge of wetness.

I quickly blushed, growing embarrassed by that, but it was soon lost as his hand reached down and rubbed against me through my undies. I gasped loudly, then squirmed, whimpering at the sensation. Granted, I had touched myself down there before… but it had NEVER felt like this! He was panting hard in my ear and I desperately tugged at my wrists, wanting to touch him… for all the good it did.

"K-Kouga…"

My desperate plea got my undies torn away as well, letting those calloused and deliciously firm fingers touch me unrestricted. I gasped loudly at the sensation, throwing my head back as I squirmed. Then… then his thumb pressed down on my clit. I cried out in pleasure, especially when he began to roll said thumb over it, back and forth, again and again. My hips were rolling against his hand desperately, cries of mixed pleasure and dissatisfaction slipping from my lips. He smiled softly and dragged his finger back and forth along my soaked slit, making me shiver and tremble.

"Kouga, please!"

He chuckled and answered, a single finger slipping into me, making me cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Almost immediately, he stilled his hand, his finger poking something that was causing me sharp pains, though the pain was nearly irrelevant, due to all the pleasure.

"You're untouched?" he asked in surprise, his voice strained with his arousal and his struggle to stay coherent.

"Y-yes!" I hissed, a soft moan slipping from me as his finger slowly pulled out and then slid back in. "Oh gods…"

His hand pulled away, making me protest, which he promptly silenced with a searing kiss, making another surge of wetness slip through my folds. Shortly after, he slid his body down mine. Puzzled, but trusting him completely, I just watched, my body burning every time he touched my skin with his lips. Finally, he kneeled before me, between my legs, sliding my knees over his shoulders. As I was about to ask him what he was doing, I felt his tongue slide against my folds, making me cry out in both surprise and pleasure, his hands flying to my hips to keep them pinned to the post. I hadn't meant to thrust against his face, but the delicious shocks that had surged through me at the unexpected touch moved my body beyond my control.

"K-Kouga!"

He smiled against me, doing it again, seeming to enjoy my cries of pleasure as he skillfully teased me with his tongue… Then he found that bundle of nerves, flicking it, making a powerful jolt of pleasure rip through me. My hips jerked every time he flicked it, his finger teasingly sliding in and out of me while his mouth focused on that spot. I cried out sharply, arching hard when he sucked hard on it, slipping a second finger inside of me. I was shivering, writhing, panting and whimpering at his touch. I cried out again as he thrust in a third digit, stretching me, sending shocks and jolts through me.

I felt as though I was losing my mind. Every stroke of his fingers, every teasing touch of his lips, his tongue, sweeping more and more of me away until I was just a writhing mass of heated flesh. An insane pleasure was building and I knew I was about to cum. Masturbation, no matter what I used as an aid, paled in comparison to the heights Kouga was leading me to, making me squirm and pant, whimpering his name.

"K-Kouga… I-I'm gonna cum!"

At my words, he only sped up his movements, making me writhe ever more… before the pleasure erupted, my cry of ecstasy echoing off the walls as he took me over the edge. I shivered and trembled as he continued to please me a little longer before pulling away and sliding back up my body, up to kiss me softly. His hands slid up my arms, up to untie my hands… before wiping a few tears I hadn't known I'd shed away. My hands tangled in his hair as I kissed him desperately. He smiled against my lips, holding me against him.

"Kouga… tell me… how to please you," I said softly, making him look at me in momentary surprise. Then he smiled and set me down on shaking feet. As I watched, he began to undress. I reached over to help him, but his hand stopped me. So, I obeyed the wordless command and pulled my hand back, just watching with rapt fascination as, inch by inch, that sinful body was bared to my eyes. I licked my lips as my eyes traced every contour… then fixed my eyes on the proud staff that pointed straight at me, watching his hand lightly stroke it for a moment before he sat down in a nearby chair and gestured for me to come.

I quickly obeyed, kneeling before him. I wasn't completely naïve… I loved my steamy romance novels… but nothing could have prepared me to actually DO what I'd only read about… I looked up at him, meeting his eyes questioningly.

"Go ahead," he told me, his voice husky with his hunger. "I'll let you know if you do something wrong… or if I want something more."

That was all the permission I needed as I focused back on that stiff rod.

 _What the hell? Might as well see if those novels were right…_

I leaned forward and lightly flicked the tip with my tongue, getting a soft hiss as a response. Encouraged, I let my nails slide up his thighs, up towards his balls where I slowly began to massage, letting my tongue swirl around that delicious tip, stroking it lovingly… Then I slid my tongue down his length, tasting every inch, then back up to the tip once more, running along his slit again and again, back and forth. I could feel his legs starting to shake as his breathing became even more labored. I was a little put out that I hadn't made him moan yet, but theorized getting this much reaction was pretty good for a first-timer.

Encouraged, I slid the tip past my lips, giving a soft suck. His breath hitched at the sensation and I felt his hand slip into my hair, just resting on my head, not pulling me, just holding me. With a smile, I slowly slid more of his member into my mouth… then back out… then back on a bit farther than before… My tongue stroked him with every teasing thrust, my mouth sucking eagerly like it was a lollipop. A muffled groan escaped him as I slid more and more of him in my mouth.

He was fast approaching my gag reflex… and I forced my throat to relax, recalling the stories like they were instructions. Sure enough, as he slid past the back of my throat, I felt great discomfort, but managed not to gag or choke on him. His breathing was rapid pants, hissed through clenched teeth, the hand in my hair clenching unconsciously.

After a few more thrusts, my discomfort eased and I was able to seamlessly take his length down my throat in faster thrusts. One of my hands slid up to wrap around the length I just couldn't get to fit in my mouth. Now his legs were jerking, strained groans slipping from his lips. Deciding to test a theory, I let loose a moan around him, rewarded as a curse slipped past his lips, making me surge with pride. I sped up my thrusts, making both of his hands fly to my head. I don't think either of us knew if it was to push me away or pull me closer.

The thrusts became faster, more desperate, his length starting to jerk inside my mouth.

"Vasilysa!" he cried out, jerking my head away as he came, shooting his seed between us. He hissed in pleasure, panting as he finished out and I looked up into his eyes, wanting to ask how I did. The feral look in his eyes, the dark, deep-rooted hunger, stole the words right out of my mouth. In seconds, he grabbed my waist, hauling my body up against his as he kissed me ravenously, speeding over to the bed where he laid me down, me quickly backing up to the head of the bed, his fiendish mouth not leaving mine for a second as he followed my every movement.

"God, Vasilysa…" he breathed, kissing all over my face. I giggled.

"I'm going to assume that means I did well," I teased and he growled ferally, the sound sending white-hot arousal through me. He kissed me again, the hunger he felt being reflected back to him by my kiss.

"You're making it very hard to keep my sense," he growled at me, his voice deep and husky, making me shiver. Experimentally, I thrust my hips up against his, rubbing my slick folds on his hard staff, making him swear and pin my hips down. "Don't! Please don't…"

He was breathing very, very hard.

"I don't want to hurt you," he explained in a shaky voice. "My restraint is barely holding… if I lose myself, your first time will be painful, very painful… You can tease me mercilessly after this… but please… not this time…"

I gave a soft whine of disappointment, but nodded, letting him take the lead. My whine caused a shudder to rip through his frame before he regained control. Then he slowly pressed forward, reaching down between us to guide his length to my soaked, heated center. Once in position, he slowly started pushing it in. The feeling was uncomfortable, as he stretched me more than his fingers had, his descent into me slow and careful. After a bit, he paused and hooked his arm under my knee, pulling it up, before he paused, looking down into my eyes.

"This is going to hurt," he warned me apologetically. I smiled softly.

"It will be worth it," I replied, making him give a soft bark of laughter.

"Yeah," he agreed. "That it will."

Then he snapped his hips forward, burying himself inside me the rest of the way. I yelped, my nails digging into his shoulders at the pain. After a few moments, it started to dissipate and I pulled my nails back, running my tongue over the indents, making him groan as he slowly pulled out, making me protest… then snapped his hips forward once more, sending another shock of pain through me, though there wasn't just pain this time. With every sweet thrust of his hips, the pain disappeared and I clung to him.

"Oh god, Kouga…"

I moaned for him as he began to set a slow, teasing pace, getting me used to him. My head rolled back in pleasure as his body strained over me.

"God… you're so tight," he cursed, panting. "I-I don't think I'll be able to hold out much longer…"

I turned his head, kissing him softly.

"Then stop holding back," I told him. "I want it, all of your hunger."

He only hesitated until I snapped my hips against his, taking his full length deep inside me. So, with an oath, he released all of his self-control, relinquished himself to the beast within. The change in the sex was immediate. His thrusts, once gentle and controlled, were now feral and powerful. The pace was stealing my breath, I couldn't even truly react other than to scream his name as I dug my nails into his shoulders again, my hips answering his every thrust with a thrust of my own, matching him in both speed and force.

"V-Vasilysa…" he moaned, his grip on my knee disappearing as he reared back on his knees, pulling me up with him. Following his wordless lead, I rocked my hips, lifted up and down his sinful length, his hands on my hips, helping keep pace.

The sensation of filling me with every thrust, the feel of his skin rubbing against mine with every movement… the slickness of our sweat as it started to build up… it was all driving me crazy…

Then he pulled out completely, making me gasp in dismay as he placed me on all fours in front of him, my head nearly on the pillows. Seconds later, he pushed his full length back inside me, his thrusts feverish, hungry. I cried out in pleasure with every smack of our hips together.

"K-Kouga!" I cried. "Kouga, please!"

He answered by thrusting ever faster, the thrusts getting rougher. I screamed in pleasure as I felt his teeth bite into the back of my shoulder, as if to mark me as his own. Our moans and cries mixed together, getting louder and more strained as our bodies started to fill with unbearable need, the need for sweet oblivion.

"Kouga…" I whimpered, my fingers tearing the pillows beneath me. Abruptly, he jerked out and flipped me over, burying himself in me to the hilt.

"L-look at me," he commanded, his voice gruff and strained. "Look at me!"

So I did. I looked right into his eyes, his own eyes locked onto mine. I could see the hunger, the need… and I came hard, making me cry out, my eyes closing for a moment, my body spasming against his, his name screamed from my lips. Seconds later, I heard him curse my own, felt his body tense up immensely before it started to shake. Each thrust became slower and weaker until he finally stopped fully, his body shaking over me. Both of us were breathing hard, our hair glued to our bodies due to the sweat.

Slowly, he rolled, pulling out of me, then pulling me against his side, up to lay next to him, half on him. I was trembling, struggling to regain coherent thought. His body was shaking nearly as badly as my own.

"Gods," I whispered softly, struggling to get my breath back. "Now I'm really glad I waited…"

He chuckled softly, hugging me with one arm, tilting my head up with the other to kiss me sweetly.

"I love you," he whispered. I smiled softly, kissing him again.

"I love you, too," I told him. Then I sighed and forced my body up. He watched me, seeming far too proud of how much trouble I was having just to stand, let alone walk. I glanced back and shot him a dirty look as I noted his grin.

"You know, now I don't care as much if Shinji has you," he told me, making me look at him in confusion. He grinned wickedly. "I got to be your first."

I blushed and smiled softly.

"Yes," I agreed. "Yes, you did."

He chuckled and got up, following me to the bathroom where we got into the shower to clean up. As the heated water cascaded over our bodies, he held me and kissed me sweetly. As we washed each other up, hands gliding over every inch of each other, pleasant warmth spread through us. I felt like I was literally walking on a cloud… and the look in his eyes told me he felt the exact same way. After drying off, neither of us bothered getting dressed again, though I grabbed the amulets and put them back around my neck, making him smile.

"Felt naked without them," I admitted, making him laugh.

"You just had me all over you and yet you felt naked because a jewel was missing," he teased, making me blush. Then he smiled softly. "You never take it off… do you?"

I shook my head, curling up in his arms again, resting my head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest. He smiled and kissed me softly.

"This is going to be a long two weeks," he stated, making me chuckle softly.

"Just gives you something to look forward to," I teased, making him laugh again.

"Yeah, I suppose it does," he agreed. Then he looked at me. "Will you stay with me? Stay as long as you can?"

I smiled and kissed him.

"I have no intention of leaving this spot," I replied, making him smile and hold me close.

"Good," he answered. We both knew, regardless, that neither of us would be here come morning.

* * *

 **And there you have it, this story's first lemon! To remind my dear readers, I require reviews to post more. The next chapter will not be posted without five reviews... or I just get tired of waiting... so, if I haven't updated in a month, I'm still waiting on reviews.**

 **Hope you continue to enjoy and appreciate!**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	11. The Morning After

True to prediction, I woke to my alarm the next morning, woke alone. However, to my embarrassment, I noted that everything Kouga and I did was obvious! My clothes were all torn the way he'd torn them, my sash still hanging over the canopy where he'd tied me up. My form had some serious bruises from his hands and his hips. I was sore below the waist and my throat was also raw. I chuckled, only to wince. Even doing that much hurt. Imagining his reaction in my mind, I blushed. I knew he'd grin in pride and tell me it was a good look on me.

Shaking my head, I made my way painfully to the bathroom, grabbing my communicator on the way. As I brushed my hair, I dialed it. It was soon picked up by Gin.

"What did you need?" he asked. In response, I held it up to a few of my bruises and then pulled it back and pointed to my throat. He laughed and grinned, a light blush on his cheeks. "I'll be there in a few."

I smiled in thanks and hung up. Just as I had pulled on a bra and underwear, I heard him enter the house. I sensed him flash up to my room, up to me. Sure enough, seconds later, he came through the door, only to stop dead with a dark blush, seeing my state of dress. I wanted to giggle so bad, but knew it would hurt, so I pulled his hand to my throat, telling him to heal it first. Still embarrassed, he did, keeping his eyes shut. Once the soreness went away, I chuckled at him and slid his hand down to my nearest bruise, letting him heal it next. One mark after another, I guided his hand so he wouldn't have to look at me. His face never lost its blush, knowing he was being permitted to touch me quite intimately.

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed," I told him, making him blush scarlet. I pulled away once I was healed and finished getting dressed. "Thanks, Gin."

"Why didn't you have Shinji heal you?" he asked, finally deciding it was safe to open his eyes, only to blush darkly again as he watched me pick up the scraps that remained of my clothing.

"Because I wasn't with Shinji last night," I reminded him. His eyes widened in shock and surprise. "I told you I was allowed to visit Kouga. I did not lie."

"Sorry," he said. "I thought that was all crazy-talk."

I chuckled.

"I'm sure it sounded like it," I agreed. "Sounded like a mourning woman that wouldn't move on, yes?"

He nodded and then followed me down to the kitchen for breakfast. The servants had made a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Gin and I both ate our fill before heading off to work, thanking the kitchen staff on our way out. Before we reached the street, I lightly took Gin's shoulder.

"Could you, um… not tell Shinji or Sosuke about… that?" I asked, blushing lightly. He smiled.

"Of course not," he replied. "I would hate for them to find out that I healed you."

I blushed darker and winced, just imagining how that would be.

"Thanks," I told him.

"Should I be expecting to come heal you every two weeks?" he asked, a blush coming to his face again, making me laugh.

"Probably," I answered. He blushed darker, but nodded, accepting that. So, we flashed to the office. Only Sosuke was there, no surprise. "Good morning."

Sosuke's went to reply, but dropped his quill when he looked at me.

"What?" I asked, puzzled.

"You… you had relations with someone last night," he commented, then forced his eyes back to the paperwork. "No wonder Hirako's late."

My eyes widened.

"How did you know?" I asked ruefully. He spared me a small glance.

"You're glowing," he answered simply. "It's known as the just-had-sex glow."

I flushed darkly.

"If it's any consolation, I didn't sleep with your nemesis," I stated, going to make tea. I didn't even hear him move before he was in front of me, stopping me with his hands on my arms.

"You DIDN'T sleep with Hirako?" he clarified. I shook my head, watching a great deal of the tension leave him… until another thought turned his face sour. "Who was it?"

I frowned.

"Why does who it was matter?" I demanded.

"It doesn't," Sosuke blurted out, hiding his true thoughts again, making me frown.

"Now hold on a minute!" I said, grabbing his shoulders before he could walk away. "You jump down my throat for having sex and now you're acting like it doesn't matter! What the hell?!"

"Drop it, Akalia," he told me sternly and I scowled.

"The hell I will!" I snapped, getting up in his face. "Why. Does. It. Matter."

I could hear his heart beating faster, could see the war within his eyes… but I couldn't understand it.

"Sosuke?" I asked softly, pleading for him to answer me. He opened his mouth—

"Ugh, morning," came Shinji's voice, making us jump. Realizing I probably still had that glow, I flashed out, making my way to the ninth division instead, hoping to get a translation from guy-speak to girl from Mashiro. Hopefully she could explain what was wrong with Sosuke.

I arrived at the office mere minutes before she and Kensei did. Kensei appeared to have a massive hangover, but it didn't seem to stop him from noticing the "glow". His eyes widened in surprise but, before he could say anything, I jerked him into the office by his robes and pushed him in further so I could shut the door behind Mashiro.

"I need a guy-speak translation," I stated coolly, making him look at me. Mashiro squealed.

"You got laid!" she said excitedly, hugging me excitedly, then paused, realizing something. "Wait a minute… Shinji was with us last night…"

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"It wasn't Shinji," I stated. "Back to the translation I need—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Mashiro cut in. "You CHEATED on Shinji?!"

I groaned.

"It's not that simple!" I tried to explain, but got cut off by Kensei this time.

"You were drunk, weren't you?" he asked. Immediately, I nodded, blushing darkly.

"Not the best way to wake up, let me tell you," I grumbled, then looked at Mashiro again. "Can you help me with a translation or not?"

"Trans… right! Yes!"

Mashiro immediately bobbed her head.

"Someone else noticed the glow and thought it was Shinji until I corrected them," I began. "Then he was jumping down my throat, demanding to know who it was before abruptly doing a 180 and telling me it didn't matter!"

Mashiro's eyes widened as she covered her mouth in surprise.

"Ooo!" she said woefully. I glanced at Kensei, only to see him shaking his head.

"Hello?" I said. "Translation?"

"That guy's in love with you," they chorused, making me start. My eyes widened in shock.

"Huh?" was the most intelligent reply I could come up with. Mashiro made me sit down on the couch.

"He got jealous," she explained. "Fiercely so. When he thought it was Shinji, your boyfriend, he knew it was bound to happen and was able to deal with that… but to learn that someone ELSE had you… well, that rubbed him the wrong way something terrible."

I was in complete shock.

Sosuke… is in love with me?

Even my own mind scoffed at the idea. Sosuke was not the type to love anyone, least of all me. But then I recalled the war in his eyes… and the not-a-pity date…

"Oh god…"

I sat down hard, my hand on my mouth.

"You gonna be okay?" Mashiro asked. Slowly, I nodded, putting my thoughts into order.

"I just… I just need a minute," I said slowly, getting my bearings.

Sosuke is in love me… and I can handle that. I just have to make sure to let him down easy, to not encourage those feelings any more than I had to. Finally at peace, I went to get up, only to feel a familiar reiatsu racing towards us. I actually started to feel a bit faint. I was sure I could tell Shinji the same story I'd told Kensei and Mashiro… but I wasn't so sure how he'd take it.

"Hey, Kensei!" called Shinji from outside. "My fourth seat busy?"

"Nah," Kensei answered, letting Shinji in. Immediately his eyes went to me, the frown on his face.

"Sosuke told me," he answered my unspoken question. I sighed, feeling a bit guilty (not about sex with Kouga, but about the lie I was about to tell). "Who was it?"

I blushed darkly.

"I'd wager she doesn't know his name," Kensei spoke up for me.

"Yeah," Mashiro agreed. "She was drunk."

That cooled Shinji's temper a little, but not much. He walked over and grabbed my arm, dragging me out the door. Once outside, he flashed to the courtyard behind his quarters.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded, his voice uncharacteristically serious. I sighed.

"I don't remember most of it," I "admitted" to him. His frown deepened. "I remember you and Kensei at the party… drinking while talking to Tosen, and then Tosen telling me he thought I'd had enough and he walked me home… but I didn't stay there and decided to go for a walk to clear my head…"

I paused as if the memories had started to become hazy.

"Was it near the fourth or the third division?" I asked myself, thinking aloud, biting my nail as I started to pace, trying to "remember" more.

"You bolted when you woke, didn't you?" he said finally, his voice a heavy sigh. "I doubt you'd even remember where you bolted from…"

I flushed darkly and couldn't look at him.

"Akalia… you're not allowed to drink anymore without someone there to keep an eye on you," he told me firmly, hugging me, surprising me. "That could have ended very badly, you know?"

I sighed, knowing he was right about such a situation, should it ever really happen.

"Let's get you to the fourth to take an emergency contraceptive," he told me, making me blush even darker.

Would it even be possible for Kouga to get me pregnant like this, in this strange visitation we're having?

Somehow, I doubted it completely. Interrupting my thoughts, Shinji flashed us to the fourth and bought me a contraceptive, having me take the pill quickly. I did so without an ounce of hesitation.

"Slip-up?" teased the division member. I flushed.

"Not the way you think," I "admitted" to her. "Got drunk."

She laughed.

"You'd be surprised how often we hear that," she told me reassuringly. "Feel free to come back whenever."

I nodded and thanked her, letting Shinji take us back to his office, though he stopped me from walking in. Just outside the office, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I smiled softly and kissed him back, though my mind noted how different his kiss was from Kouga's. It was like I couldn't even control my own mind anymore.

"Please tell me you didn't lose your v-card to a drunken mishap," he begged me. I chuckled.

"No," I assured him. "I lost that to someone I loved."

That put him at ease and he nodded.

"Thank god," he said, then pulled me into the office. Gin was helping Sosuke with the paperwork and Shinji started in on a pile of reports from the patrols. I went back to making tea and soon served everyone. Sosuke wouldn't even look at me.

To be honest, that hurt… a lot. When Shinji left to do some captain work, I sat down on Sosuke's desk, spinning around to face him, keeping my legs over his paperwork so he couldn't ignore me. He sighed and looked up at me, annoyed.

"Please don't stay mad at me," I pleaded. "I hate it when you give me the silent treatment."

To add to it, to help break the ice between us, I let my eyes well up with tears.

"With Kit…" I paused, steeling myself. "With Kit gone, you're all I have left…"

My soft whisper broke through, making him sigh and hug me, letting me hug him back.

"I'm not mad at you, Akalia," he told me. "I'm just… upset that you made such a poor choice… You're with someone… you should be faithful."

Perfect set-up for a half-lie. I looked at the floor.

"I just… I didn't want to disappoint Shinji… so I asked someone I knew to teach me," I "admitted" softly. Sosuke tensed, but then sighed.

"Shinji would think it an honor to take your first time," he assured me. "You could never disappoint someone that loves you."

I sighed heavily.

"I didn't… I didn't consider that…"

Sosuke sighed, telling me he knew I wouldn't have, then pulled me off the desk.

"Take these to the second, fourth, sixth, seventh, tenth, and twelfth divisions," he said, handing me several folders of paperwork. I nodded and headed out. "Akalia?"

I paused and looked back at him.

"Why didn't you ask me, to teach you, I mean?" he asked. I flushed darkly.

"I didn't… I didn't want to endanger our friendship," I answered softly, honestly. It was the main reason I would never sleep with Sosuke. "Stuff like that… even just teaching… changes people. I don't want to lose what we are, Sosuke. And things between you and Shinji are already strained… I didn't want to add fuel to the fire."

He sighed and nodded, accepting my answer, letting me head on out. I noted the knowing look on Gin's face as I left, making me shoot him a small smile.

That kid's not as dumb as people think.

* * *

Other than that morning, my day couldn't have been sweeter. I was skipping a lot, my head in the clouds.

"Akalia!" called Mashiro, getting my attention. "Women's Association meeting in the bathhouse!"

I nodded and made my way over. I noted that several men were making their way into the neighboring men's bathhouse. The places were practically wide open, the only barrier being a fence and a rock formation. I had a feeling they were all going in for the sole purpose of eavesdropping.

To my surprise, Shinji was one of them. I giggled and walked into the bathhouse, stripping down to join the other ladies in the hot springs at the back, right next to the wall.

"Hey Akalia!" many of them greeted. I waved and took a seat.

"So, topic for discussion today is…" the captain began, getting a playful drumroll for effect. "Lovers!"

Immediately, several girls squealed and the younger, v-card carrying ones blushed.

"For those of you that are still untouched, I'd suggest you take notes from the more experienced," she went on. The sheltered girls nodded, still blushing darkly.

"Does your first time really hurt?" one of the virgins asked. I chuckled.

"Depends on whether your lover knows what he's doing or not," I replied, surprising several women.

"You're not a v-card carrier?" demanded Cimorene. I shook my head. "You dirty slut!"

Immediately, she was hit by three different women. I turned back to the girl who'd asked.

"Can it be painful, yes," I continued to answer her, noting how she was really listening. I could tell the thought of pain really scared her. "But a good man will make sure the pain is only the tiniest moment."

"What was the guy like that took yours?" she asked. Once again, I had everyone's attention. I chuckled… then started reliving the night with Kouga for them.

"Well… It wasn't planned, I assure you."

That got a few giggles.

"We were just talking, a few kisses strung throughout, just sweet, innocent little things," I began to reveal. "Then he started telling me he felt guilty, guilty that he was keeping me all to himself. He thought he was being ungodly selfish. I told him that love is just that: selfish. I chose him, such as he was."

Several girls gushed at how sweet that was.

"Needless to say, the next few kisses weren't so sweet," I went on, making several girls giggle. "Every kiss he gave me started to cloud my mind… such passion, such deliciousness… Every place his skin touched mine, I burned."

Another round of giggles.

"Oh, and he didn't use his hands to get annoying fabric out of the way at first," I went on. "He used his teeth."

That got a few squeals and I relished how they hung on my every word.

"Okay, so he gets my bra unfastened… but loses patience and rips it off, tearing the straps completely," I continued, listening to the girls all squeal again. "Then he picked me up, those sinfully strong hands on my thighs, pushing my back up against the post of the bed… and used my sash to tie my wrists up above my head to the canopy."

Exclamations followed that one, all of them getting excited.

"He was a merciless tease," I reminisced. "If his fingers weren't moving, his lips sure as hell were!"

Giggles escaped the group as I shivered at the memory.

"Careful, ladies!" giggled the captain. "Someone's getting hot just remembering!"

I giggled and they girls begged me to continue.

"As a v-card toting fool at the time, I had no clue how to react or what to think," I stated, looking at the virgins as they blushed. "All these sensations were seriously making it impossible to think. I knew I wanted his touch… but I didn't know where or how. I was embarrassed when he got me naked, wishing my hands weren't tied so I could have covered myself, though the burning, predatory gaze he gave me assured me such a thing was unnecessary."

"Mm-mm!" several older women purred.

"And then there was the embarrassment of realizing I was getting soaked!" I spelled out, my face turning red, making the older gals giggle again as they recalled their own experiences. Then I got a devilish grin. "Not that he really gave me time to dwell on that."

That got a few giggles.

"Then those talented fingers got to work," I murmured, a slight whimper to my voice at the memory, several girls hooting and jeering playfully. "Those sinful, teasing hands… When he slipped a finger inside, he realized I was untouched… and decided to slow down a little. He slid down to his knees and put my thighs on his shoulders… and gods the things that man could do with his mouth! Mm-mm!"

Several girls laughed and jeered again.

"Got me off twice with fingers and tongue alone…" I embellished, making the virgins giggle. "When he slid back up and released my hands, I couldn't stand for love nor money… but I really wanted to return the favor and told him so. I asked him to tell me how to please him."

Several girls gasped followed by squeals.

"So he sat down on a chair, putting me between his legs," I explained. "Then told me to go with instinct. He'd let me know if I was doing something wrong or if he wanted something else… Turned out he didn't have to do either. All those steamy novels might as well be instruction manuals, let me tell you! Hearing him cry out my name as he jerked my head off before he blew was hot as hell!"

That got laughter and squeals.

"He didn't waste time and dragged me up to the bed, both of us absolutely crazy with our need at that point that reason was nearly completely gone," I pushed on. "I arched into him, only for him to pin my hips down, begging me not to tease so freely. He didn't want to lose himself just yet, didn't want to hurt me… so I fought my instincts, letting him slowly push in… The pain lasted mere seconds, my need for him coupled with the pleasures of him inside me, his skin against mine, those sinful lips… I was swept away… but he still held back. Once I was used to him, I told him I wanted it all… and the chain on his restraint broke!"

"Ooo!" squealed the girls.

"Gods, it was great," I giggled. "Nothing better than watching a man completely lose control… Made it last, switching positions every time we got close… Then reverted to missionary, commanding me to look at him, to look him in the eye as I came… hard."

"Oh gods," one of them moaned. "So delicious!"

Several of the other women were whimpering, rubbing their legs together.

"Afterwards, he held me as we struggled to get our breaths back," I finished. "I got lucky. I got a damn good man for my first time."

"How perfect!" one of them gushed when I was done.

"He's so sweet!" another said.

"Aww!" a lot of the v-cards chorused.

"Have you had a lover since?" asked one of the more experienced ladies. I shook my head, surprising them. The woman then turned a smug look to Cimorene. "So, how can she be a dirty little slut, Cimorene? She's only been with ONE man!"

"Unless you count getting drunk, like last night," I admitted. "First and last time… ever."

That got some laughter.

"Doesn't count," that woman assured me, then realized something. "Wait a minute! You mean to tell me you and Captain Hirako haven't screwed yet?"

That got several pairs of wide eyes turned my way as I blushed darkly.

"No, we have not," I admitted. "I feel like… he doesn't even really want to, you know? Spends more time with the damn paperwork and drunk off his ass than he does me."

That got several reactions, most of them disappointment in Shinji.

"I'm sure he's just waiting for the right moment," someone called out, immediately getting a lot of support.

"Hirako may be an incorrigible flirt, but he's also one of the sweetest guys out there," another put in.

Well, nice to know his ego's getting stroked.

I chuckled at the thought.

"He's like a less-gentleman-like Ukitake!" another put out there, making several girls laugh.

"Ukitake's the kind of guy that would give you his haori if he saw you naked," another woman teased, making all the girls laugh and agree with varying statements.

"I actually thought he was gay," one virgin admitted, making us girls burst into laughter.

Poor Jushiro. After that comment, we went off on a tangent, discussing the various men of the Seireitei. I put in my two cents every now and then, but then Kensei's name came up. Immediately, nearly every girl swooned and Mashiro rolled her eyes. I giggled at her reaction.

"Now there's a dreamboat," one girl gushed. I laughed.

"If you can get past the anger-management issues and bad attitude," I stated. Mashiro immediately agreed and several women did, grudgingly, admit I had a point. "He may be gorgeous, but I don't feel like fighting with my lover um-teen times a day. I mean, come on! Just imagine it, will ya? He's in the middle of training, taking a quick water break, and you walk over to give the poor boy some love… and what does he do? 'Woman! I'm training! Go bother someone else!'"

That made several girls laugh, Mashiro included. I'd even managed to sound just like him in voice. It took them a few minutes to stop laughing.

"Wow, you really got him pegged," Mashiro told me, still giggling. I shrugged.

"Not hard to figure out," I admitted. "He's kind of an open book."

"What about Aizen?" asked another girl as she looked at me. "What do you think? You know him the best."

I chuckled, thinking about it.

"I think… Sosuke would probably be the type to make sure no one doubted you were his… once he got up the courage to tell you how he felt," I began to explain, knowing well that Sosuke had to be nearby. "And if he does have feelings for you that he hasn't voiced, he'll be over-bearing, over-protective, jealous, but still be sweet, kind, and caring."

"Aww!" several girls said.

"I imagine, since I've never actually known Sosuke to love anyone, that the person he loved would want for nothing," I went on. "He's the kind to plan everything, several steps in advance. Don't ever play chess with the guy, trust me. He'll have you beat on the first move."

That made a few girls giggle.

"As such, he'll want his woman to understand she can rely on him for everything… but she would have to be strong enough in her own right that she doesn't HAVE to," I finished. That made several girls pout, realizing their own short-comings would count them out.

"And why aren't you dating him instead of Hirako?" asked another. I blushed.

"I don't want to risk our friendship," I admitted, making several older ones immediately give understanding responses. They all knew how badly a relationship could get ruined due to a fallout in the romantic department. However, the one who'd asked looked at me like I wasn't making any sense, so I expanded.

"Imagine, if you will, that I did start to date him," I explained simply. "And something happened, say something that ruined our trust… not only would I lose a boyfriend… but I'd lose a best friend, too."

Now she got it, seeming surprised that she hadn't thought of it that way.

"Sometimes, it just isn't worth the risk," I told her. "While other times it is. The hardest part… is knowing which case is the one you're walking the line on. I don't know where I'm standing with Sosuke… so I'd rather not take the chance at all. I care about him far too much."

Several girls agreed with me.

"Lady Akalia Kuchiki?" came a voice from the entrance. I looked over. "Your presence has been requested by Lord Ginrei."

I nodded.

"I'm coming," I said. "Sorry ladies."

"Bye, Akalia," several of them called, waving me off. After dressing, I flashed to the office, glad to see he was still there.

"You sent for me?" I asked. He nodded and had me sit down.

"How are things going for you?" he asked. I smiled warmly.

"They're wonderful," I answered honestly.

"Akalia, the servants of your manor have been whispering some very interesting things," he told me, making me frown. "Especially about last night."

I looked at him, puzzled.

"What do you mean?" I asked and he looked right at me.

"I know you were with my ex-son-in-law," he stated, cutting straight to the point. I paled. "I also know your name is not Akalia, is it, Vasilysa?"

I felt my heart sink.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on and how it is possible that Kouga Kuchiki, the man who was sealed away by my own hand for the safety of everyone—including himself—was in your bed?"

I hesitated.

"I'm not sure you would believe me," I answered honestly. "I'm still struggling to understand it myself… It's something Durnehviir was able to do. When I went to my soul room, there was a door I'd never seen before. It appeared the first time I entered the manor, two weeks ago. Curious, I went through the door…and found Kouga on the other side. The first visit, we just caught up. He… wasn't himself… but he was by the time I left. He was completely back to himself."

I paused.

"As to what happened last night, I'm not sure," I answered honestly again. "I discovered the door was back and went through it again. This time, the mists disappeared and it appeared that we were in my bedroom… I didn't realize until morning that the events that I thought only happened in my soul room were very real, that he'd actually been there with me."

I stared at my hands, feeling a defiant streak rising within me.

"I won't apologize for it," I admitted. "I don't regret a single moment of it… but that doesn't mean I understand it, either."

Silence fell as he absorbed what I'd told him. Finally, he sighed.

"I'm afraid I don't understand it either," he told me. "If the door was in your soul room itself, it is NOT an ability of your zanpakuto. It is something that you, yourself, are doing."

"Why was he sealed away?" I asked softly. "He said he was betrayed… but I feel like he's missing some crucial information…"

Ginrei sighed wearily.

"Kouga… lost himself to despair," he admitted. "He lost himself to the arrogance of his power, even turned against and abused Muramasa, his own zanpakuto. We could no longer help him, not after he started slaughtering innocents in the Rukon. Yamamoto and I sealed him away, both to save the people and himself."

He shook his head sadly.

"If what you say is true, then I believe it is the love you share that is over-coming his madness," Ginrei went on. "If that is so, perhaps in time, we might release him from his prison… but for now, he must answer for his crimes. Whatever power you are using to reach him… don't stop using it. You may be the last hope he has."

I was openly shocked. Not only did Ginrei NOT betray him, he was begging me to HELP him? Maybe he really DID love Kouga like a son!

"Now, why do you not use your name?" he asked.

"It's for my own safety," I admitted. "My parents were forced to send me away to keep me alive… so Vasilysa had to die… but I wanted to hear Kouga say MY name, not the name I thought up for a cover."

Ginrei nodded, accepting my answer.

"All right, child," he said. "I'm trusting you… Please do not make me regret it, Akalia."

I nodded and smiled softly.

"Thank you… for understanding," I told him. He nodded and let me leave. After I left, I flashed back to the squad five office. I was pleased to see that only Shinji was there, letting me sneak in and step up behind him. With a smile, I leaned forward and hugged him from behind.

"Hey handsome," I greeted. He spared me a glance before turning around in his chair and pulling me into his lap, slipping his lips onto mine. The kiss was sweet, loving.

"So, you feel like I don't want you in my bed," he stated, looking into my eyes. I looked away, but nodded. He turned my face back towards his and looked me in the eyes again. "What if I told you I was waiting for you to want me?"

My eyes widened in surprise.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "You were waiting… for ME to make a move?"

He nodded, letting his hands dance up my sides slowly, softly. I shivered at the sensation and closed my eyes for a moment… cracking them back open to look at Shinji.

"I'm not that bold," I admitted. "I've literally only ever had sex that one time, not counting last night as I can't remember it at all."

His eyes widened at that revelation.

"You never slept with that guy again?" he asked, shocked. I shook my head and looked at my lap. Shinji immediately hugged me close to him.

"I'm sorry," he told me. "I didn't realize…"

I shook my head with a smile, kissing him softly, tenderly.

"How could you have known?" I asked with a warm smile. "I never told you."

I kissed him again, letting my hand run softly through his hair.

"That lovely tease I used to make you blush a while back…" I said softly, watching a softly blush rise to his cheeks at the memory. "I got the idea from Yoruichi. I asked her how to pull a fast one on you. Took forever to get myself up the nerve to do it."

Again, that surprised him, then he scowled.

"That's cheating," he pouted. "Getting her help… I should've known…"

I giggled and grinned at him.

"Was totally worth it," I stated. "And that wasn't the only idea she gave me."

His eyes snapped up to mine.

"Don't you dare!" he told me, making me laugh.

"You're no fun," I teased, pouting. He responded with a devilish grin just before I found myself on the floor, his body over mine. My eyes didn't even have time to widen before he kissed me, his hands slinking down my sides, his knees slipping between my legs. His hands pulled my thighs up around his waist as he rocked his hips, thrusting against my sex, making me gasp softly, my fingers tangling in his hair as I kissed him again.

A soft purr slipped from me as his hand slid back up my side, up to cup my breast through my uniform. He ground himself against me and I couldn't help but moan softly at the delicious hardness I felt there, his lips taking the break from mine as a sign to descend down my neck… then back up towards my ear.

"Still doubt that I want you?" he whispered, his breath teasing my ear, making me shiver again.

"Nope," I answered immediately, taking the opportunity to lightly nibble his ear, remembering how he'd liked that before. Sure enough, he groaned softly, then wrapped his arms around me as he stood, keeping my legs around his waist. I felt the flash-step but paid little heed as I kissed him hungrily again the second I felt the sensation stop. He groaned as I ground my sex against the rod that had to be almost painful by now.

Once inside, he set me on my feet and I started unfastening his clothing as fast as I could, clothing he was gladly shedding as he urged me backwards, his hungry lips never leaving mine except for short breaths. Once he was undressed, his clothes in a path leading from the front door to where we were now, his eager hands started in on mine, continuing the trail. By the time we reached the bedroom, we both didn't have a single stich of clothing left, just hungry, exploratory hands. When my hand wrapped around his length, he broke the kiss with a hiss.

"Akalia…"

Then he picked me up and shoved my back against the wall, pinning me there with his body. My fingers jerked his head back, baring his neck to my hungry, needy mouth as I kissed, licked, and nibbled at it, tasting every inch of his exposed skin. Pants slipped from his lips, brushing my ear as he let me have this control.

I let my mouth explore every inch I could reach, which wasn't very far in this position, though he soon took control of this situation. He rocked his hips, rubbing that delicious length along my folds, folds that were beyond soaked already.

"S-Shinji!" I gasped out, feeling him smile against my cheek as he trailed kisses down from my ear, down my neck, nibbling and sucking softly on the way, leaving a dark trail to mark his conquest.

My heart hammered in my chest, my body shivering in pleasure. Heat pooled between my legs, the smooth skin of his body slowly sliding down mine, each inch seemed to take an eternity, making me pant and quiver. Then his lips encompassed my nipple, making me gasp and arch against him.

"Oh god, Shinji!"

My cries seemed to really please him.

"DAMMIT SHINJI!"

We both swore darkly, hearing Hiyori's voice.

"Did you have plans or something?" I asked. Shinji groaned, but nodded.

"I forgot," he admitted.

"GET DRESSED AND GET OUT HERE OR I'M DRAGGING YOUR NEWD ASS!"

I groaned, but laid my head back against the wall.

"Better get going," I told him. He kissed me heatedly, making my body burn.

"We'll finish this later," he promised me, then slid me down to my feet before he pulled away, getting a spare set of clothes from his dressers, looking over at me, his eyes hungry. "God, you look good enough to eat…"

I chuckled and licked my lips, glancing down at the slight bulge in his pants.

"I could say the same thing," I teased, making him curse Hiyori under his breath again before he stole another hot kiss… and left. Once they were gone, I grumbled and picked up all my clothes, getting dressed again. Then I picked up Shinji's and put them in the dirty clothes. When I sat down with some tea, I couldn't get my body to stop shaking. It still thrummed with desire, with pent-up need.

Groaning, I forced myself to leave his quarters, desperate to find a distraction.

* * *

 **Such a bother waiting for reviews... and I'm far too impatient. I love sharing my works with others. Guess this is proof of that impatience. I'm posting two chapters this time. Enjoy it, my beloved Readers!**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	12. Finally

The next few days went by like that. Every time Shinji and I had some time alone, we never got to answer our burning need for one another. Every time we turned around, we kept getting interrupted by one thing or another. Before that moment, I'd never really noticed just how busy my boyfriend was, how many friends he had… or how much pressure the Head Captain was putting on him to get that Hueco Mundo mission done. It seemed that they really wanted those numbers and information…

I was laying on the couch, Gin just in front of me, both of us reading the same book, him holding it so I could run my fingers through his hair. Gods, I loved that boy's hair! It was so soft… so fluffy! And he loved letting me "pet" him. We were waiting for Shinji to return from another Captain's meeting. Sosuke was left to do all of the paperwork again, much to his annoyance, but he tolerated it.

"Good afternoon," greeted Kisuke as he walked in, quirking a brow at me. Seeing the gaze (and to be ornery), Gin slid back, pressing his back tight against me, grinning at Kisuke, making the man shake his head with his own grin. I rolled my eyes at them both.

"What's up?" I asked. He grinned and sat down on the offered seat.

"I made something new," he told me, handing me a strange, white device. It was so small it could fit in my palm.

"What does it do?" I asked, curious. My eyes weren't the only ones looking now.

"If imbued with reiatsu, it will keep that person's health stats at all times," he explained… then explained further seeing my confusion. "For example, if you were to put some of your own reiatsu inside it, then gave it to someone else to hold, say young Ichimaru here, he would only have to look at it to know how you were doing. It glows a dark blue if you're low on reiatsu, nearly completely depleted, green if you're ill, red if you're in grave danger… and black if you're dead."

He paused to let that sink in.

"And that's only a few examples," he finished. I looked at him in wonder.

"Wow," I told him. "This is… incredible!"

He nodded, then frowned.

"Unfortunately, it keeps shorting out," he admitted. "Every time I think I've got the formula fixed, it falls apart again…"

I smiled warmly, taking his hand.

"I know you'll get it right," I assured him. "You're a brilliant scientist! If anyone can figure this out, it's you!"

That seemed to be what he needed to hear as he straightened up. It looked like a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Thanks, Akalia," he told me, taking the device back. "You're the best!"

Then he was gone, making me chuckle and get back to reading and "petting" Gin. Without thinking about it, I leaned down and kissed his temple before picking up where I'd left off. Thus, I completely missed the deep scarlet blush that crossed his cheeks… and the annoyed look on Sosuke's face.

"How long do you think that damned meeting's gonna take?" I asked Sosuke for the um-teenth time. I was pretty sure he wanted to strangle me by now.

"As I told you numerous times and less than five minutes ago, it will end when it ends," Sosuke answered, his tone never showing any annoyance.

"I swear, Sosuke," I said quietly, amused. "You have got to have the patience of a saint."

He chuckled.

"I've learned it from being around you," he teased. I blushed.

"Are you saying I'm taxing on your patience?" I asked, slightly insulted. His smile was a dead give-away that he was messing with me.

"Do you need me to say it again in Latin?" he asked. I blushed darker, snagged the book from Gin, and chucked it at Sosuke's head, annoyed when he caught it with a chuckle. "See what I mean?"

I growled and pouted, burying my face in Gin's hair, putting my arm around him to hold him still. I could feel his skin burning as the poor boy blushed.

"I didn't realize you went for younger men," came Shinji's teasing voice, making my head snap up and a white-hot blush cross my cheeks as I released Gin, sitting up quickly. Shinji laughed at my reaction and pulled me off the couch, into his arms. "Sosuke, Gin, find somewhere else to be… and don't come back here for at least an hour."

He didn't even wait to see if they complied as he kissed he hotly, making me groan and wrap my arms around his neck, my fingers immediately tangling in his hair. The quick slamming of the door told me both men had vacated the premises as Shinji lifted me up, sitting me down on his lap, having me straddle him, as he sat in the middle of the couch.

"Mm… Shinji?" I managed to get out between kisses. "What *kiss* mm *kiss* are you *kiss* doing?"

He chuckled and started pulling open my robe, making me blush darkly and pull away, holding it shut with both of my hands.

"Shinji!"

He grinned at me.

"I got tired of getting interrupted," he explained, lightly rolling his hips up against mine, making my eyes close as I bit my lip. "Figured if I wanted you, I'd have to make damn sure we wouldn't be disturbed."

"D-during work h-hours?" I stammered as he gripped my hips, grinding them hard against that magnificent tent in his pants. I gave a soft whine, needing no further help from him, my hips moving on their own, desperately seeking that hard flesh, all my pent-up arousal hitting hard. "O-oh god…"

"Technically it's lunch hours," he replied, then kissed me hungrily again. This time my hands didn't bother to fight him as he slid my top away, off my shoulders and onto the floor. My bra soon followed, letting his mouth ravage the mounds he so adored, making me pant and squirm, mewling in pleasure.

His hand slid down between my thighs, down to rub roughly against me, making me moan, arching my back, my head rolling back.

"S-Shinji…" I forced out through clenched teeth.

"Hey Shinji—oh my god!"

We both groaned yet again, my head falling to his shoulder as he glared over my shoulder at Kensei.

"Get out of here!" he barked at the beet-red man and he was quickly obeyed. Shinji growled and looked at me. "Dammit…"

I chuckled and stepped off of him, making him groan and close his eyes, leaning his head back. He was pouting. It was adorable… but I knew he wouldn't be pouting for long as I took my pants off and slid them down without a sound. I watched him rub that tent with a whimper and licked my lips. Wordlessly, I stepped over and untied them, reaching in and pulling that gorgeous length out.

His eyes snapped open as he looked at me.

"You're… you're not stopping?" he asked, surprised. I grinned rakishly.

"Hell no," I answered. "Been waiting too damned long for this… and it looks like I won't get to savor it like I want to… so a quickie it is."

Then I straddled his lap and, after a few teasing strokes of his rod, I thrust my hips down quickly, taking him deep into my heat. We both moaned loudly at the contact, Shinji's hands flying to my hips as I started riding him.

"S-shit, babe," he hissed. "I'm not gonna last long!"

I knew exactly how he felt.

"Oh gods… me either… fuck, Shinji!"

In seconds, he picked me up and shoved me onto his desk, taking full control of this, our moans echoing off the walls. As his hips began to snap towards mine with a frightening speed, moans tapered off into full-on cries. I writhed beneath him, digging my heels into his rear as I struggled to keep pace with him, tried to answer every thrust.

"Shinji!"

My scream accompanied my over-powering orgasm, one so strong it took my breath and all the strength in my body away. I collapsed onto the desk, breathing hard as Shinji trembled over me. I'd been so swept up in my own climax, I'd completely missed his.

"D-damn," he cursed, his voice shaking as bad as his frame. I pulled him down to me so I could kiss him softly. "Not even *kiss* a fifteen-minute man."

I chuckled and kissed him again.

"Don't hear me complaining, do you?" I teased. He gave a shaky laugh and kissed me again before pulling away. He grabbed a rag and started cleaning up. Then he came over and cleaned me, making me blush and squirm. He grinned the whole time and then finally pulled me up, helping me to my feet. I got dressed and chuckled at how damn proud he looked, watching my legs shake with the effort to stand. When I was clothed, he walked up and kissed me tenderly.

"Shall we get something to eat now?" he asked. I nodded with a laugh and let him take my hand, leading me out of the office. Outside, I noted that the courtyard was suspiciously vacant, making me blush and giggle. Shinji just kept that proud, shit-faced grin on as he took me to a nearby restaurant. Inside, I saw Kensei, Mashiro, Love, the new Captain (Rose), and Hiyori. Kensei turned bright red at the sight of us and looked away, making me laugh. Shinji pulled us over to sit across from them.

"Built up tensions shorten your time?" teased Mashiro, making Shinji flush and me laugh.

"Just a bit," I agreed. "Damn interruptions."

Mashiro giggled.

"Should have seen Keni-kun after he slammed the door," she told me, making said man blush darkly and glare at her, lunging over to cover her mouth, making her squeal. I laughed, more amused than embarrassed.

"Aww," I teased Kensei, patting his head, watching his face turn a darker red at my proximity. "How adorable!"

"A-adorable!" he sputtered, insulted. "I am NOT adorable!"

That just made me laugh.

"Says the adorable face that's blushing," I teased, pinching his cheek playfully like you would a baby. He sputtered and objected even more, making me laugh. Shinji pulled me away, his expression one of mild jealousy, making me giggle. I kissed him softly, making him smile.

"He's got nothing on you, sweetness," I assured him, kissing him again. That soothed him and I turned back to my food, eating quietly as they all chattered. After a bit, I left to hit the bathroom. On the way back, I got a devilish idea.

Grinning to myself, I hid my reiatsu and flashed over to where I was carefully climbing under the table. Under there, I was careful not to touch a single set of feet, hard as that was, until I reached my target. Keeping my touch light as a feather, I slowly untied his pants, a movement he was laughing too hard to notice… but he definitely noticed when my nimble fingers reached in and started stroking him, pulling that length out into the open.

Shinji choked on his drink, struggling not to look down, knowing if he did, we would both be front-page news across the Seireitei. Instead, he slid a hand down and I caught it with mine, kissing his fingers softly. I saw him relax marginally, telling me he'd done that to make sure it was me. I gave a silent snicker and then turned my focus back to the proud staff in front of me, stopping the stroking of it.

Shinji's hand was back on the table though his legs were tense. I grinned, recalling how I'd made Kouga come undone… and wondered if Shinji would enjoy it as much…

Testing that theory, I slid my tongue out… and slipped the tip of his member into my mouth, giving it a teasing suck. I was rewarded as he jumped, knocking his knees into the table. I snickered again.

"Shinji?" asked Kensei. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Shinji answered. "Just a weird muscle spasm."

And the conversations restarted. I snickered again… and ran my tongue along his slit again and again. He shifted a bit in his seat, trying not to squirm. His hand was back under the table, clutching my hair, holding my head still for a moment while he got his bearings… and then I jerked forward, sliding his whole cock down my throat.

"Damn!" he swore, and I paused, listening.

"I know, right?" Mashiro was saying. "So then I said—"

I tuned it out once more and chuckled around his length, knowing he would feel the vibrations, just as Kouga had when I'd moaned around him. Shinji's breathing was becoming labored, making me grin as I started taking that length down my throat… again and again. I licked and sucked him like he was my favorite lollipop and was rewarded by his tension and struggle to not reveal what I was doing. Now both of his hands were on my head, pushing and pulling to make my thrusts faster, which I eagerly copied. I wrapped my hand around the part that wouldn't fit and stroked in time to my mouth's eager thrusts.

Suddenly, his hands began feverishly trying to pull my head away, telling me he was about to cum. Grinning to myself and preparing for it, I grabbed his hands and pinned them to his thighs, thrusting even faster on him. A very muffled sound, similar to a grunt, escaped him and I felt the burst of salty, stringy cum shoot past my lips. I swallowed quickly, again and again, never slowing my thrusts, riding out his release.

Slowly, Shinji released a breath I hadn't known he'd been holding, his hands slipping out from under mine to stroke my head. I chuckled and pulled off, licking every inch of him that I could reach, leaving no bit of skin unclean. When I was through, I put his shaft back in his pants and re-tied them. Shortly after that, I flashed back to the bathroom. At the sink, I washed away the bit of cum that had leaked out and down my neck. I giggled at the flushed look on my face.

 _What a rush! The thrill of avoiding getting caught…_

I giggled again and soon, giggles turned to full-on laughter. It took a few minutes to get control of myself, but I finally did. After making sure I no longer looked flushed, I made my way back towards the table.

"Did I miss anything important?" I asked Mashiro. She smiled and shook her head.

"You were gone for a while," commented Rose. I smiled warmly.

"Forgot to do something for someone," I answered. "Figured I'd best do it before I forgot again."

He chuckled and nodded. When I slid into my seat, I turned and gave Shinji a light peck, nearly bursting into laughter at the look in his eyes. Still, a few giggles slipped out and he shook his head.

"You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached," he teased, going with my story, making me grin. I grinned back, realizing it was a perfect set-up.

"Well then, it's a good thing I have yours to compensate, huh?" I teased back, making several of our friends laugh. I laughed because they had no idea what I really meant by that… but Shinji had. He was chuckling, a grin growing on his face. I giggled again and finished my meal, joining in the conversation half-heartedly. After lunch, we all split up to go back to our divisions. After we entered the office, it took me two seconds to realize Sosuke and Gin weren't back yet… and then Shinji grabbed me and kissed me hard.

"You sexy minx," he cursed me, making me giggle again and pull back teasingly.

"You didn't like it?" I asked innocently. He growled and jerked me into another potent kiss, making me giggle again before I pulled back once more, sensing Gin and Sosuke approaching.

"Is it safe to come back?" Gin asked, poking his head in the door. I laughed and nodded. He was immediately across that room, pulling me to the couch so he could lay his head in my lap. I chuckled and gave him what he wanted, running my fingers through his hair once more.

"Saw you at the restaurant," Gin said. "I wanted to try the curry, but couldn't afford it."

I smiled softly.

"How about you come over sometime and I'll make you some?" I offered. His little face lit up like Christmas came early, making me giggle.

"How did your lunch taste?" Gin asked. I grinned.

"Delicious," I answered. "But you should try the dessert. It's positively sinful!"


	13. Trouble of a Different Sort

As soon as five came around, Shinji jumped up from his chair and pulled me up from the couch, causing Gin to fall on the floor and give Shinji a really dirty look. I giggled at Shinji's exuberance, my giggles turning into a shriek when he suddenly picked me up.

"Shinji!" I squealed. He grinned like a madman.

"Until tomorrow," he told the other two, then flashed us back to the Captain's quarters. Once past the front door, he flashed to his room and shut the door, locking it. I giggled as he slid me down his body to my feet.

"Now, little girl," he said, his voice a dark tease. "I think you should be punished for nearly embarrassing me today."

I purred.

"Oh?" I asked, my voice sultry and beguiling. "What did you have in mind?"

His grin grew as he grabbed a paper and wrote a quick "DO NOT DISTURB" on it before going back out and putting it on the front door. Then he was back, a length of nylon rope in his hands, making my eyes widen. He didn't even give me time to compute it fully as he snagged my hands, tying them deftly behind my back. I shivered at the feel of his hands as they tightened the knot. He pressed up against my back, his lips next to my ear.

"Seems I need to teach you a lesson in manners," he whispered, his heated breath sending a shiver down my spine as I closed my eyes for a moment. He leaned down and lightly bit my neck, making me moan softly, only for him to pull back immediately. "Ah, ah, ah!"

His tone was scolding by still gentle.

"You're not allowed to make a sound unless I say you can," he informed me, making me give a small whimper. His hand squeezed my rear, making me yelp. It hadn't been painful… but it also hadn't been pleasant. "Keep making sounds… and I will be forced to really punish you."

I shivered and bit my lip.

"Do you understand?" he asked. I nodded, not daring to really answer him. "Good girl."

Then he slid my hair aside, giving his lips full access to my sensitive neck, leaving a trail of hickeys down it while his hands untied my sash and slipped my robe off my shoulders. I shivered, knowing I would both love and hate what was coming. I may be new to the whole sex world, but I was certain Shinji was anything but.

"Captain Hirako, forgive the disturbance."

To my increased arousal, Shinji actually snarled at the door. That sexy sound sent a flood of heat and wetness to my core as I shivered a bit. I felt him smile against my ear, enjoying my reaction, nibbling my ear to get another shiver before he focused on our newest intruder.

"What is it, Lieutenant Sasakibe?" he demanded.

"The Head Captain has asked to speak with you," was the reply. Shinji growled.

"If it's about Hueco Mundo, my team's leaving soon enough," he snapped, trying to get Sasakibe to go away. He started trailing more hickeys across my shoulders, making me shiver again, biting my lip to fight back the gasps and soft moans that wanted to escape me.

"Captain—"

Shinji's head reared back, his grip on my hips tightening momentarily in his frustration, making me whimper before I could stop myself. Realizing what he was doing, he kissed my cheek apologetically and loosened his grip.

"Dammit, Sasakibe!" Shinji nearly roared. "What the hell is so important that it can't wait until the morning?"

"Let's go, Shinji," came Kensei's annoyed voice. "Either you can come out… or I'll come in. You decide if you want that. I only got to see the back last time."

That made me blush darkly… and made Shinji swear darkly.

"I'll be damned!" he snarled, but untied my hands, grumbling under his breath the whole time. When I was free, I turned around and cupped his face, kissing him softly. He returned it, but kept it short and sweet.

"Until we get a chance to continue this—"

I cut him off with another kiss.

"I'll live on this for now," I replied. "Go on."

He sighed, but nodded, taking his leave. I pulled my robe back up and glanced in the mirror, taking note of the dark hickeys. Knowing it would probably irritate him, I healed them all, leaving my skin unblemished once more.

Until next time…

* * *

"I think we should get that Hueco Mundo mission taken care of, Captain," Sosuke said suddenly. I was reading, sitting on the couch, Gin laid back against my side, my hand running through his hair again. "The Head Captain's been getting pretty persistent."

I tensed, my hand frozen in Gin's hair. Shinji sighed.

"You're right," he admitted. "Gin, Akalia, you'll leave tomorrow morning. I want a full report upon your return in three days."

"Yes, sir," we chorused. I was grateful my voice showed nothing of my nervousness or misgivings. Gin's small hand grasping mine pulled my mind back to the present. He gave me a concerned look, cracking his eyes open just for me… and I smiled weakly in response, giving him the best reassuring look that I could.

"Actually, sir," Sosuke spoke up quietly. "May I go in Akalia's place?"

I was surprised and just stared at him, gaping. He smiled gently at me. Shinji finally took notice, seeing my gratitude-filled face and Gin's own relieved expression… and Sosuke's kind, gentle smile.

"I don't think she's quite ready just yet," Sosuke explained. "She's been training hard, yes, but she hasn't faced any real hollows yet. It might be best to wait for a little more experience before sending her to Hueco Mundo."

"I second that opinion," I added, my own relief in my voice. Shinji nodded.

"Alright then," he answered. "Akalia, you'll take over the Lieutenant and third-seat duties until they return."

I nodded, gladly accepting that.

"Can do," I answered, smiling brightly. Shortly after, Shinji left to let Yamamoto know about the change, leaving the three of us alone. Immediately, I jumped over, hugging Sosuke tightly.

"Thank you so much," I told him softly. He hugged me back softly. "I am so going to throw a party tonight!"

That made him roll his eyes as he smiled ruefully, realizing he should have known that was coming.

"And you HAVE to come," I told him firmly, poking his chest for effect. "No excuses!"

"Fine," he answered. "I'll be there."

"Yay!" I cheered, hugging him again. Then I kissed his cheek and bolted out the door to get everyone else ready for the party.

Four Hours Later

I was giggling and laughing with everyone else, the party in full-swing. Sosuke and Gin had both stayed close to me, both refusing to drink and a bit uncomfortable being the guests of honor. I had only drunk until I felt lightly buzzed. I didn't dare drink more than that.

"Alright peoples!" called out Mashiro excitedly. "Time for a game!"

"Yeah, we're definitely drunk enough," agreed Lisa, giggling. "But what game?"

"Seven minutes in heaven!" called out Yoruichi, leaning on an equally intoxicated Soifon. I giggled at the choice, noting that the numbers of this group were off. For the men, there was Shinji, Kensei, Love, Rose, Kisuke, Sosuke, Gin, Jushiro, and Shunsui. For the girls, there was Mashiro, myself, Lisa, Hiyori, Yoruichi, and Soifon. 9:6. It made for an interesting match-up.

"Alrighty then," I called out, grabbing an empty sake bottle. "Park it, boys. Girls get to spin. Ladies, pick your number and get in line!"

The girls giggled as the guys sighed dramatically, taking their seats. I placed the bottle in the middle and Yoruichi spun first. I grinned when it landed on Rose. The man chuckled, but rose, letting Yoruichi lead him just inside the building behind the courtyard as Mashiro started the timer. When they left, I lightly teased Mashiro.

"With luck, you'll get your precious Keni-kun. A kiss is one step closer to wedding bells, you know."

True to prediction, they both lit up like bulbs and protested immediately, making me (and several others) laugh. When Yoruichi came back, the next person spun.

Hiyori got Shinji (making everyone laugh at them).

Mashiro got Love.

Lisa got Shunsui (match made in hell, that one).

Soifon got Kisuke (much to mine—and Yoruichi's—amusement).

Finally, it was my turn. Grinning at the few blushing men and women (several of them embarrassed beyond words at their luck), I spun the bottle, waiting excitedly… and it stopped on Kensei. I laughed as the man's cheeks flooded red. Grinning, I grabbed his haori and pulled him to his feet, then pulled him after me.

"C'mon, big boy," I teased. "Time to see if you live up to that pseudo reputation you hold."

That made the blush leave his face as he grinned.

"It'll just give you girls something new to gossip about," he replied. As soon as the door was shut, he pulled me up against his chest, the grin on his features widening. "I'm gonna enjoy showing you what a real man's like."

Then he kissed me.

This kiss was so unlike Shinji or Kouga. Kensei was hot, dominant, and hungry, his hands grinding my hips against his, making sure I felt the planes of his body against mine. I broke for air and he pulled me back, shoving my back up against the wall hard, his kiss devouring my sanity in seconds, leaving me breathless and shaken. His lips slid from mine, down my neck, biting roughly at the base, a moan slipping past my lips before I could stop it. That only served to make him grin as he caught my lips again, grinding his hips against mine, making sure I felt the hardness there. I whimpered, my hips rolling against him reflexively, seeking that delicious tent. His hand slid down between us and rubbed me firmly, making him groan at his discovery.

"Damn you're wet," he muttered, making me shiver at the huskiness in that growl. Abruptly, I felt a fierceness rise up in me, the part of my bloodline that I tried to blot out completely coming up to play. I growled back and tangled my fingers in his hair, jerking his head back so I could devour his neck, biting him just as he had me, my other hand raking my nails down his chest.

Clearly, Kensei had not been expecting this from me as he gasped, then hissed, his hand quickly grabbing mine and slamming it to the wall above my head. I growled and bit his lip before kissing him hard, possessively. His free hand flew to my sash, wrapping it around his fist, preparing to rip it away—

"Time's up, guys!"

Mashiro's voice jerked us both back to the present, my dark blood's possession leaving me in an instant. He released me, but stood near, making sure I didn't fall. Once on my feet, I noticed he was as shaken as I was by that whole thing. His brown eyes were wide as he stared at me. I saw where my teeth had sunk in and winced, reaching up to heal it quickly.

"Sorry," I said softly, biting my lip. His chest was heaving as bad as mine was, his brown eyes not leaving mine.

"What are you apologizing for?" he growled, adjusting his arousal so it wouldn't be so apparent. "I wanted to make Shinji jealous… Damn…"

"Now you're the jealous one?" I teased with a small grin. He shot me a dirty look, but didn't deny it. I chuckled and fixed my robe's disheveled appearance. Once we were as close to normal as we could be, we left the room and rejoined the others. Shinji's face was so full of jealousy that I had to giggle. I walked over, sat down in his lap, and kissed him, one he returned possessively.

"Mine," he growled lowly so that only I would hear. I chuckled.

"Yours," I assured him, kissing him once more before getting back up and letting Yoruichi spin again. This time, she got Kisuke. Then Hiyori got Gin, making all of us go "aww" at how the two kids were together. Gin had sent me a dirty look for laughing, too, making me laugh harder. Mashiro got Shunsui, Lisa got Rose, Soifon got Jushiro… and then it was my turn again. I'd noticed that the bottle never seemed to land on Sosuke… and gave him a quirked brow before spinning the bottle.

"Ooo!" squealed the girls, teasingly. I'd gotten Sosuke this time.

 **Master, please tell me you agree that he fixed this whole game.**

I agreed silently with Durnehviir, but didn't reveal a thing, holding my hand out towards Sosuke. Once on his feet, he took it and led me back to the building. Once inside, I turned to him, a light blush on my cheeks, mildly amused to see the same slight blush on his.

"First kiss of the game," I teased, lightly playing with the collar of his robe. We were both nervous, I could see that much. I lost my ability to tease as I finally looked him in the eyes. "Sosuke…"

His hand cupped my cheek for a moment, the warmth of his palm making me close my eyes and lean into his touch, feeling some of my fears dissolve. I swear he was the only person alive that could make me nervous and calm at the same time. His hand slid back, back to hold my nape, his thumb lightly tracing my jaw. Slowly, giving me plenty of time to cop-out, he leaned down… and pressed his lips to mine.

I knew no amount of time would ever erase this kiss from my memory. It was soft, gentle… and sweet… so sweet. When he broke, he gave me a few moments to absorb it… before he kissed me sweetly again. His other hand went to my waist, just holding me gently, still giving me the option to run if I wanted to. My hands slid up his chest, up around his neck, playing with the hair on his neck as I kissed him back, kissed him in such a way to communicate that I would treasure this moment… our first kiss.

After he broke away that time, he looked down into my eyes, his filled with many emotions.

"Akalia… I—"

"Time's up!" chorused Mashiro and Shinji, the latter sounding downright green with jealousy. I sighed and looked up at Sosuke.

"Once again, you get ready to tell me something important and we get interrupted…" I said softly, surprising him for a moment. "Sosuke… Thank you, for going to Hueco Mundo in my place. I promise I'll explain my reluctance… but not until I can guarantee your safety… alright? Can you trust me and be patient that long?"

"To tell me… would endanger me?" he asked for clarification. I nodded sadly.

"There is so much I wish I could tell you, Sosuke… wish I could tell all of my friends… but I can't," I admitted. "I care about all of you, especially you, far too much."

"Have you told Shinji?" he asked. I shook my head. "I see… I'll trust you. Tell me when the time is right. I will wait."

I smiled softly and, to show my gratitude, I kissed him once more, surprising him, before I took my leave of the building… him following shortly after. Shinji was practically steaming, making me giggle at him. I noted that Kensei wasn't particularly happy either, his expression telling me he was sober enough to KNOW something more had happened behind those closed doors than a make-out.

"Well, forgive me, ladies, but I must retire," Jushiro said, rising.

"We should get some rest as well, Gin," Sosuke said softly, still standing just behind me. I turned around and gave him another hug.

"Please be careful," I whispered softly. He hugged me back and nodded, confirming that he'd heard me. Then I turned and gave Gin a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Take care of Sosuke for me, okay?"

Gin laughed, but nodded. Then I hugged Jushiro.

"Rest well, my friend," I told him. Various other goodbyes were being said by the others as the three men left us.

"You're worried about their mission, aren't you?" asked Shunsui, not as dumb as he looked. I spared him a weak smile.

"It's not them I'm worried for," I answered honestly. "Yoruichi's turn… if we're still playing."

She grinned and nodded, grabbing the bottle as the guys adjusted to fill the gaps. This time, she got Shinji. She grabbed his collar and dragged him off before he even had a chance to protest.

"Promise he'll leave you for me after this!" she called back to me teasingly. I laughed.

"Only if I get dibs on the first threesome!" I called back, watching Shinji's face go beet-red and heard her laugh as she dragged him into the building. Several pairs of eyes were on me now, struggling to process what I'd just implied. I giggled. "Don't tell me y'all were under the impression that I was innocent."

The quick objections made me laugh as they confirmed that they had. Shinji was still blushing and shifting uncomfortably when they got back, making Yoruichi and I snicker. Hiyori then got Rose. Mashiro finally got her Keni-kun. Lisa got Love. Soifon got Shunsui. And when I spun… I got Kensei again, much to Shinji's immediate ire. I giggled as Kensei clasped my hand and pulled me quickly back to the building.

The door was barely shut before he was devouring me with a kiss again, his hands jerking my robe open, sliding it down my shoulders exposing my skin to his questing fingers. He pushed my bra up and his lips left mine, that roguish mouth latching onto my nipple instead, his hand covering my mouth just in time to muffle my surprised cry.

His tongue laved that taut tip as he sucked eagerly, making me squirm. Trusting that I wouldn't cry out loudly again, his hand slid from my mouth, down into my pants… slipping his fingers under my silk drawers to touch my skin, making me shiver, another moan slipping from my lips as he quickly shoved two fingers inside.

"K-Kensei!" I gasped, arching into him, making him smirk against my breast as he tugged on it with his teeth. I hissed, my hips rolling on his hand as those teasing fingers started to stroke me. "Kensei…"

His name came out a feral growl as my blood rose once more. This time, I kicked off the wall and pinned him to the floor, surprising him again. I was barely retaining enough control to remember that torn clothes were a bad idea. My hands shook with poor restraint as I quickly untied his pants, though his underwear wasn't so lucky, getting torn clean away. He gasped as my hand closed around his shaft firmly, stroking as I bit his neck again, growling when he tried to touch me, pulling my hand away from his cock to slam both of his hands to the floor. Every time I tried to pull my hands away to return to my pleasure, his hands would rise up… after the third time of putting his hands back down, I growled and tied his wrists behind his head with his sash.

Now he squirmed and struggled, hissing as my mouth descended to his robe, my teeth tugging it away, exposing his chest to my hungry lips. The only thing keeping him from tearing his own sash to touch me… was the reminder that we had to leave this place and face our friends. I slid my hand back to his stiff member, making him hiss again, his hips bucking up towards me as he bit his lip. I chuckled and started teasing his nipple with my tongue, making him squirm.

"D-dammit," he swore, tugging at his hands again. After his nipples both met my satisfaction, I slid my lips lower, kissing, licking, and nibbling, making his squirming more pronounced, especially when he realized where my mouth was headed.

"S-shit!" he swore again.

RRIIP!

His hands flew to me as he rolled us, thrusting me under him, his mouth kissing me hard, hungrily, his hands pinning my thighs to his hips as he thrust against my clothed sex, making us both hiss and groan. His hands were shaking as he fumbled, trying to untie my sash, not tear it.

"D-dammit!" he growled, glaring at the infernal thing.

"Time's up!"

Kensei swore again, glaring at the door. My blood cooled instantly and I realized just how compromising this situation was. Wordlessly, I threw him off of me, looking at him in complete disbelief, my frame positively shaking. It was partially from shock… and partially from my burning, unsatisfied arousal. Our chests were heaving again as we just looked at each other… though I finally got enough sense to fix my bra, my robe, and my sash. Once I was set, I didn't even glance back at Kensei as I left, nearly every part of my body wanting to bolt from the spot.

~ _I really am a slut…_ ~

 **No, you are not. You know what time it is. You just got fortunate enough to have so many males nearby that are willing to accommodate you.**

I sighed and silently admitted he was right. When I got back to the group, Kensei finally left the building. I noted that he'd knotted his sash to hide the tear, making me hide a small grin. Shinji, on the other hand, had eyes only for me.

"My buzz is gone," I admitted, giving a very convincing yawn. "Methinks I'm going to turn in for the night."

I looked at Shinji.

"Coming?" I asked, offering my hand. He grinned and took it.

"Guess we'll have another party another time," Lisa ruled, realizing most of us were tired. Thus, we all said our goodnights and went our separate ways, a certain brown-eyed gaze burning holes in me as I left with Shinji. My dearest boyfriend was still pretty drunk, so I was half-carrying him as we went back to the Captain's quarters. Once there, I turned and kissed him softly, testing just how drunk he was. A few minutes into the kiss… he passed out completely.

I sighed heavily and lugged him to his bed, putting him on it, not bothering to strip him. Then I went to the bathroom and climbed in the shower. There, only the drain and four walls would know of the quiet cries I uttered, my fingers working over-time. Afterwards, I finished washing up, dressed in one of Shinji's shirts and a clean pair of undies, and fell into bed with him as a wave of exhaustion hit.

* * *

It was three days after the party fiasco and I was waiting at the gate. Sosuke and Gin would be back today. I'd been waiting all morning, hoping they were okay. In fact, I had paced a pretty obvious path in the ground, amusing many who'd seen me. I couldn't be bothered with any of them though. I needed Sosuke's calming presence.

The past three days, I'd never left Shinji's side, much to his enjoyment. We spent very little of it getting any work done, as I kept him pretty tired. When we weren't sleeping or eating… we were entwined. He'd only asked me once what the hell was going on (not that he objected in the least), and I'd given him the truth… just omitting certain details he didn't need to know. I merely explained that I was in heat… and that my hungers were guaranteed to rage out of control until it ended. He then asked how a virgin had dealt with this heat for so long and I'd answered that sex-toys were marvelous inventions. He'd never brought it up again, just gladly sated my hungers every time they rose up.

Due to this behavior, I hadn't seen any of our friends since the party. Part of me dreaded coming across Kensei. He had openly admitted that he wanted me, if the actions in that building hadn't made it clear… and the part of me I denied while here in the Soul Society had answered him. In a way, I felt that I was leading him on (which I probably was). I hated the idea of it ever coming to blows between him and Shinji and resolved to make sure Kensei understood that my actions that night were to be forgotten… and never thought of again. My body wanted him… but not my heart.

I had visited Kouga last night after Shinji had gone to sleep. I had left Shinji in his home and had returned to mine, knowing I would lose control on Kouga. Again, not that said male minded. He, like Shinji, was satisfied just knowing the partial truth I was willing to tell him. If it was heat, he would answer… though he pointed out that my heart was getting further and further from him. When I'd asked what he meant, he just replied that he knew, that my heart was becoming more and more Shinji's instead of his. It saddened him, but he accepted it, realizing that Shinji could be there for me all the time… and Kouga could not.

"Not back yet?" Shinji asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I turned my head and stole a kiss before looking back out the gate.

"Not yet," I answered, a slight depression to my voice. "What's taking them so long?"

Shinji kissed the side of my neck, making me shiver.

"Relax," he told me softly. "They'll be fine. They'll come walking up when you least expect it."

I smiled softly and kissed him again.

"I'll have to trust you on that," I replied. He chuckled and nuzzled my neck softly, making me purr and lean into him.

"Relax," he told me again, a teasing tone to his voice. "Or I might have to distract you."

I giggled softly.

"If you think you can," I teased back, making him spin me around to face him, pulling me up flush against him, his eyes looking right into mine, a playful smirk on his lips.

"What was that, my dear?" he asked, his tone as playful as his expression. I grinned.

"I said, 'if you think—mmph!"

He cut me off, kissing me hard, making me give a small whimper, my hands tangling in his hair, holding him to me.

"Captain Hirako, this is hardly the time and place for that."

I snapped my head to the side, only to squeal as I pushed Shinji's arms away and jumped over to hug Sosuke, then Gin.

"My boys are home!" I cheered, making an annoyed tick appear on Shinji as he fought his jealousy. "How was the trip? Are you hurt anywhere?"

I scanned them both head to toe, turning Gin's head first one way, then the other, making sure. Sosuke was chuckling at me while Gin just grinned.

"Not a scratch," Gin answered me cheerfully. I cheered and hugged him again, picking him up clean off his feet to spin him around.

"I missed you guys so much!" I told them, setting the poor, blushing boy down.

"Clearly," Sosuke answered, a smirk tugging at his lips. I giggled and lightly ran my fingers through Gin's hair, taking note of every snarl, working them loose little by little. "Hate to greet and run—"

"It's fine," I told him. "I'm sure you both would like a shower and some decent food. I'll smother you with affection later."

That got chuckles from Sosuke and a light blush from Gin as they took their leave. Only then did I turn back to Shinji, yelping when I was jerked back against him. His eyes had lost their playfulness, but he kept some of it in his tone, as if to lighten what he was saying.

"Really?" he asked. "I have to wonder how you'd greet me after you hadn't seen me for a while."

I grinned wickedly.

"It would not be a way that would fall under 'public decency', sweetness," I answered, making the grin return to his face as he relaxed, imagining just that. I leaned up to his ear and whispered softly. "Course, if it was you, I wouldn't wait at the gate… I'd walk into the precipice world to find you… and hope to God the cleaner wasn't scheduled that day."

I bit his ear to accent my meaning, making him groan as he bit my neck back, digging his fingers into my hips.

"Damned tease," he whispered hoarsely. I giggled and kissed him once, twice… then pulled away.

"Back to paperwork, sweetness," I stated, then flashed away, laughing when I heard him swear before he followed me.


	14. Fear

Another day was passing as I relaxed in the office about a month later, my thoughts wandering.

"Do you realize I've been a Soul Reaper for fifteen months?" I asked suddenly.

"Fifteen and a half," Sosuke corrected quietly, sorting through some paperwork. Gin was lying next to me, his head in my lap like normal, my fingers running carelessly through his silver locks. I chuckled as Sosuke.

"Not that you're counting," I teased. He just smiled. Softly, I began humming along with the smooth jazz that was playing, making Shinji smile, glad that someone in the room appreciated his music. "This year seems like it went by way too fast…"

I had entered squad six… fallen in love… trained harder than I ever had before… fell in love all over again, letting go of the first… was betrayed by my best friend and lost him… lost my first love, and found him again… transferred to squad five… started having suspicions that someone loved me… found that I was attracted to another man other than my boyfriend…

I sighed and shook my head.

 _What a mess…_

 **Master… It's not a mess. I'm sure they would all understand if you just told them the truth.**

I scowled.

~ _I can't… and you damn well know it!_ ~

Durnehviir sighed.

 **Master… you need to tell someone. The truth is starting to torture you, even I can see that.**

I shifted uncomfortably and focused my gaze on the silver strands in my fingers.

 **You want so badly to tell them, especially the man you love, but you cannot. What do you really fear?**

~ _For their safety, you know that. You know what their choice would have to be… if they knew._ ~

 **Stop lying to yourself. Yes, you fear that… but not as much as you fear something even more.**

I scowled, choosing not to answer, hoping he would guess wrong.

 **You fear they will turn on you, reject you. You fear that they won't love you anymore.**

I felt my blood run cold as my hand froze.

 **Master, I know you, better than most. You can lie to yourself all you want, but the truth is there. That is why you continue to hide it from them. You haven't even told Kouga the full truth—and he's in no position to walk away from you!**

I began to tremble, my eyes becoming unfocused.

 **You cannot keep doing this alone. Now that Kit is gone, you no longer possess someone that truly knows you, that truly understands you. Fear… should never keep you from acting. If you let it, fear WILL consume you.**

A soft hand touched my cheek, jerking me back into focus. Gin was looking up at me, his sky-blue eyes full of concern, his usual smile long gone.

"Akalia?" he asked. I gave him a soft, shaken smile.

"I'm okay," I told him, then lost a bit of my smile. "Or… at least, I will be… Durnehviir's just… Telling me things I don't want to hear, but probably need to."

Slowly, Gin nodded, accepting that, but his eyes never left mine.

 **You and I both know, the moment you are sent to Hueco Mundo, the truth will be revealed to whomever is with you at the time. I hope you are decently prepared for that… and know in whom you will place your utmost trust.**

I frowned again and glanced over the three in the room. Shinji… would be a bad choice… both he and Sosuke. Their opinions matter far too much to me… and I honestly don't know if I could handle their horror or disgust… but Gin… My eyes went back to his as my hand continued to caress his hair. I want to be able to trust Gin… After all, he's already keeping a secret for me. He has told no one about Kouga and I. He has never asked questions, just healed me without a word…

I knew he could see the war in my eyes… and the look in his told me he was more concerned about it than he dared show. I just gave him another reassuring, shaky smile, wordlessly trying to tell him not to worry. If anything, however, that only seemed to worry him more.

"Akalia, are you sure you're alright?" asked Sosuke, looking at me in great concern. I shook my head softly.

"I will be," I assured him softly. "I just… need some time to sort through my thoughts."

A mere glance at his eyes told me Sosuke KNEW I was lying, both to him and myself… and I found I couldn't look at him any longer. Softly, I slipped out from under Gin and walked out of the office. I had no idea where I was going… but I believe it didn't really mater. In any case, I had to leave that place, leave THEM behind… at least for now.

"Miss Kuchiki?"

The sudden, surprised but gentle voice grabbed my attention. I looked over to see Jushiro and forced a small smile… one that fell almost immediately. He smiled gently, his eyes flashing with a look of knowing and understanding.

"Come with me," he said softly… and I did. I let him lead me away from the court guard squads and to a small, quiet home, his home away from the office. "Now… what is troubling you? I don't need to know the details… but I've found that simply talking it out with someone else can help."

I gave him a wry smile.

"Even if none of what I say is about to make sense?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Yes," he answered softly. "Even then."

 _Can I trust you, Jushiro… or will you leave me, too?_

I looked down at my lap as we sat down, Jushiro handing me cup of tea.

"Whatever you say will stay between us," he assured me gently.

"No matter what?" I asked. "Even if it goes against everything you stand for, the laws you uphold?"

He gave a moment's pause, making that feeling of fear course through me once more.

"Akalia… you have my word," he told me, his voice serious. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

I sighed heavily.

"It's not what I've gotten into… it's what I've always been part of," I admitted softly, taking a sip to calm my nerves. Kouga had always had utmost respect for Jushiro, saying he was a man that followed his own star, chose heart over duty, and truth over lies.

Softly, he clasped my shaking hand in his own. I couldn't look up at him, didn't dare… as I let all my secrets pour out at once, knowing that if a single person overheard, my life would end.

A Little While Later

"Akalia!" came Shinji's voice, making me look over. "There you are!"

My beloved walked into the garden towards us.

"Good evening, Jushiro," Shinji greeted, taking note of my puffy eyes. "Akalia… are you okay?"

I nodded softly.

"Thanks to Jushiro, I'm fine," I answered honestly. Relief swept across Shinji's face… though it was soon followed by the bitter sting of jealousy, making me giggle. I set my tea down and looked at Jushiro. "Thank you… for everything."

He smiled softly at me.

"Any time, Akalia," he answered me warmly. "Take care now."

I nodded and stood, taking Shinji's hand into my own as I left the garden with him. The feel of his hand in mine… it sent warmth and soothing calm through me.

 _Yeah… he's definitely one of mine… and I choose him._

Third Person POV

A Few Days Later

"Captain Hirako!"

The blonde paused in his steps, looking back to see Ukitake walking up.

"Forgive the interruption, but might I speak with you on the way?" he asked. Shinji nodded and the two walked side-by-side to the meeting. Sosuke was just behind Shinji, but far enough away to maintain distance… though he could still hear. Ukitake sighed softly before he began to speak. "Shinji, I know it's not my place to interfere in your squad's affairs, but I'm forced to speak up for one who won't speak for themselves."

"Is this about that talk you had with Akalia?" Shinji asked knowingly. Ukitake nodded and frowned.

"Never… send her into Hueco Mundo," Ukitake stated, his voice dead serious. Immediately, Shinji paused, looking right at the man, a frown on his usually smiling features.

"Why not?" Shinji asked. "She's more than capable of handling herself—"

"If you intend to keep her alive and unchanged, you must never allow her to set foot there," Ukitake cut him off, grabbing his shoulders, facing the younger captain. "You must trust me on this. Why this must be the way things are is not my place to say and I do not blame her for keeping them quiet… but know that she has the best intentions at heart. Akalia can NEVER enter Hueco Mundo… or she won't be coming back."

A flash of alarm crossed Shinji's face as his expression became darker, strained.

"What… do you mean?" Shinji forced out. Ukitake shook his head and released him. Then he turned around and began walking away.

"I gave her my word… or I would tell you," was the answer. "Just think about what I've said… and, if you are wise, take it to heart. Nothing good will come of her going to Hueco Mundo."

"Wait a moment!" Shinji said, rushing after the older man. "Why wouldn't she come to me with this herself?"

Ukitake looked at Shinji sadly.

"Because she does not want to lose you," was the reply, before he flashed the rest of the way to the first.

Akalia's POV

I was doing paperwork, waiting for the meeting to end, Gin relaxing on the couch nearby. It was almost like he lived here, just like I seemed to.

"You will see Kouga tonight, right?" Gin asked. I nodded, filing another sheet.

"As usual," I answered. "I'll be damned if I abandon a friend, especially to a complete and absolute solitude."

"Does the Captain even know about Kouga?"

I shook my head.

"I… I haven't found the right time to tell him… nor do I know how…" I admitted quietly. Gin shook his head at me.

"You're getting in this far too deep," he told me. I spared him a small smile.

"And who's supposed to be the child here?" I teased, making him grin. "Don't you have third-seat duties to attend to?"

His grin widened.

"Trying to get rid of me?" he teased. I laughed.

"Maybe," I teased back. "Would you listen?"

"Doubtful," was the reply, making me laugh again. Gin chuckled and relaxed on the couch. "Are you ever going to tell him what you told Ukitake, Vasilysa?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I might…"

Then my brain caught up and my eyes snapped up to his.

"Gin!" I said in shock. "You… you heard?! Everything?!"

The boy nodded, opening his eyes to look at me. The look in those eyes was very reassuring.

"I followed you when you left," he admitted. "I was worried. You weren't being yourself."

I was a great deal less tense than I should have been, realizing that I should have been prepared for execution, since he'd heard everything.

"You… you haven't told anyone, have you?" I asked, realizing why I felt so calm. Gin smiled.

"I have not," he answered. "They're not my secrets to tell."

I flashed over and hugged him tightly. I couldn't help it. I was so thankful for him right now… I just wanted to let him know that in the only way that I could.

"Air," Gin rasped out, pushing against my breasts, trying to get them out of his face. I blushed dark red and pulled back quickly.

"Sorry!" I said, holding up my hands in surrender. "Sorry! Sorry!"

"It's fine," Gin answered, getting his breath back. "You could suffocate someone with those things."

I blushed even darker and hit his shoulder, making him chuckle.

"Like that friend of yours, Rangiku's, won't end up even bigger than mine," I teased. "She's starting early."

That got Gin to think for a moment.

"How big do you suppose she'll get?" he asked curiously. I thought about it.

"My guess, around an F-cup, if not larger," I answered. "Especially at the rate she's growing. She's gonna be a real knockout when she reaches full maturity."

That got a frown on his face. I giggled.

"Jealous?" I teased. "I'm sure she won't have eyes for anyone but her white-knight in tarnished armor."

He blushed darkly and shot me a dirty look, making me laugh as I returned to the paperwork. I had only met Rangiku a few times, but the girl was spirited. I could see why Gin was so taken with her… and why he seemed bound and determined to protect her from everything. He hadn't been particularly happy to leave her when he became a Soul Reaper, but he'd had her move in with me since. I'd given her one of the spare rooms, making sure she had everything she needed. Gin, as thanks, paid a small fee for rent (about three hundred yen a month). It covered all food, clothes, lessons, and Rangiku's shopping sprees that she so loved. Sometimes, she even dragged Gin along with her.

"That was a total waste of time," grumbled Shinji as he and Sosuke drew closer to the office. "Bloody meetings with no purpose… how frustrating!"

I chuckled softly and finished the last few pages.

"Their purpose is to keep contact between the divisions so we don't grow immeasurably apart," Kensei replied. His voice made me tense. I still had not confronted him about the game yet. In fact, I'd been going out of my way to avoid him as of late…

"As I said, pointless," Shinji restated. Gin sent me a calming look, reminding me that Kensei wouldn't try anything with Shinji around.

"Akalia!" Shinji called. "Hungry?"

"Famished," I answered, opening the door to admit the three men.

"Great," Shinji told me. "Let's eat."

I smiled softly and let him take my hand, leading me from the office.

"The meeting was that bad, huh?" I teased, watching an annoyed expression cross my lover's face.

"All a bunch of annoying updates on things most of us already knew," was the reply as he pulled his hand from mine and instead, wrapped his arm around my waist, his hand on my hip. I blushed lightly, then relaxed and just let him.

"Sounds absolutely dreadful," I sympathized. He grinned at me, pausing in step.

"You could always make it better," he teased, making me grin back.

"Oh?" I asked. "In the middle of the street? I knew you were kinky—"

"Let's go!" growled Kensei, jerking Shinji away from me and down the street, making me shake my head with a smile as I followed after them. Shinji and Kensei were arguing the whole way, Shinji saying he had no right to get between us and Kensei saying Shinji had no right to scar other people for life.

 **At least it hasn't come to blows.**

I silently agreed, glad it hadn't come to that yet. That most likely meant that Shinji still had no idea what had happened behind closed doors. In a manner of speaking, I was grateful for that. I wasn't sure I could handle losing either of them as friends… and knew I would if they were at odds.

"Table for—"

"Over here!" Mashiro interrupted Kensei, waving us all over. I laughed and skipped over, taking the offered seat. Shinji took the one next to me, his arm around my shoulders, and Kensei sat across from us. Lunch was filled with laughter and stories of drunken mishaps. I loved times like this, where all of us could just relax and enjoy ourselves.

"Well, should head back to the office," Shinji stated, glancing at the time. I chuckled as he stole a quick kiss, taking his leave. "See you after work."

The wink he threw me made me blush and roll my eyes, watching him walk away.

"I need to talk to you."

Kensei's voice was low as he whispered that to me, sending shivers down my spine, and not ones of fear. Understanding what he wanted, I got up and followed him out, then walked with him towards his division.

"Akalia… why are you even with that airhead?" he asked suddenly, making me hide my amusement.

~ _And so it begins…_ ~

Durnehviir laughed in my head.

"He doesn't even have the decency to keep it behind closed doors!" he went on.

"Kensei, did you ever consider that I LIKE how he does that?" I asked softly. He stopped in mid-rant, looking at me in disbelief. "And can you honestly say, if I were with you instead, that you would hesitate to do the exact same thing?"

Immediately his face flooded with color and he began spouting off, denying it vehemently, saying he would never and that he wasn't talking about himself as another option, obviously, etc. etc. etc.

I chuckled softly, getting him to stop.

"Kensei, I suggest you put that night out of your mind permanently," I told him. The red in his face vanished as his expression got serious.

"I can't," he answered me honestly. "I've tried… and it continues to torment and haunt me."

He stopped me, putting both of his massive hands on my shoulders, making me look at him.

"And I know I shouldn't be like this, you're with my best friend for crying out loud!" he went on, seeming to curse his own mind. "But the more I think of you with him…"

"The angrier and more possessive you get," I finished, making his eyes widen in surprise. "I know EXACTLY how you feel, but I can't explain how I know. No, it's not because I feel the same way. I've chosen Shinji—"

"And yet he seems in no hurry to claim you," the irate man shot out. "Dammit, Akalia! I wouldn't be hesitating! I'd have already married you by now!"

"It doesn't matter what you would do," I said firmly. "I've chosen Shinji."

"Then you chose wrong!"

His voice echoed off the surrounding buildings, making me sigh and softly push his hands off my shoulders.

"You saying that… merely confirms that I've made the right decision," I told him calmly. "I'm sorry, Kensei… I've given my heart to him and him alone."

Then I started to walk off.

"Dammit!" I heard him curse. "Akalia, wait!"

I paused and looked back at him.

"Please, disregard everything I just said," he told me. "I don't… I don't understand what keeps coming over me…"

"Consider it disregarded," I answered him softly. "Though I expect a few more conversations like this in the future… and no, they will not be of your own true doing…"

His eyes locked onto mine.

"You KNOW what's happening to me…"

I nodded softly.

"And I'm afraid I cannot explain it to you," I told him softly. "I'm sorry."

Then I took my leave, completely unaware of the pair of brown eyes that had watched the whole thing.


	15. Some Revelations

Three months passed after that talk. True to prediction, every time Kensei was around whenever Shinji would get all lovey-dovey, he'd do everything in his power to interrupt or kill the mood… or he would corner me later on and demand, yet again, why I was with Shinji. Things were also becoming very strained between the two, telling me that Shinji was hearing about those episodes and was starting to reach his limit.

"Akalia!"

I turned and smiled as I saw Mashiro.

"Party at our division!" she said, pulling me that direction. I laughed and let her. "I'm so excited! It's for all the November birthdays!"

"Sounds like a real party," I agreed. Briefly I wondered if Shinji had forgotten my birthday this year on purpose… but brushed it off. Less than an hour into the party, nearly everyone was drunk, save myself and Tosen. Smiling softly, I handed the blind man his gift, making him smile softly.

"Stalked By Evil," he read, his fingers ghosting over the title. It had taken forever to translate that whole story into braille. He chuckled.

"It's a romance, action, and fantasy," I told him. "Figured since you loved to read so much, it could amuse you for a while."

He nodded.

"Thank you," he told me. I smiled and hugged him.

"Any time, my friend," I told him. "Happy birthday."

Then I walked over to my drunken friends.

"Play a game with us!" Mashiro called out to me.

"What game?" I asked.

"Truth or dare!" chorused nearly every woman in the group, making me laugh.

"All right," I conceded, having a seat nearby. "Who's starting?"

"Me!" Mashiro answered immediately. "Yoruichi! Truth or dare?"

"Dare," the goddess answered fearlessly. Mashiro grinned.

"I dare you to give old man Yama a kiss!"

"Ooo!" several of us chorused, realizing that was going to be no easy task. Yoruichi just grinned and flashed away, dragging Soifon as a witness. Moments later, they were back, Soifon so red it wasn't even funny.

"Akalia! Truth or dare?"

"Dare," I answered the goddess. She grinned.

"I dare you to give Maki Ichinose of squad eleven a hot, steamy, forget-me-not make-out!"

Several girls squealed while Shinji looked ready to murder Yoruichi. Sighing, I left to find the poor victim, taking Yoruichi herself as the witness. He was training in the squad eleven training grounds, a few of his friends with him. Chuckling to myself, I pulled my robe apart a bit, exposing my cleavage to the naked eye. Then I lightly ruffled my hair to give it a naturally sexy look. They were talking and laughing as I sauntered up, several of them making jeers and whistles when they saw me.

"Maki Ichinose?" I asked. A young man looked over at me.

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes literally fastening to my girls. I giggled, walking right up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, making him blush as the other guys jeered even louder, whistling at their fourth seat.

"I think a man that works as hard as you do… deserves a reward," I teased, watching his face turn red at our proximity.

"Uh…"

I giggled again.

"Hope you like it," I teased, then leaned up and kissed him hotly. His eyes flew open in shock as his blush darkened… though his hands soon gripped my waist and he kissed me back, ignoring the cat-calls of his friends for the moment. I bit his lip softly, making him gasp in surprise… and used that moment to taste him properly, taking his mouth by storm.

"Mm…" he breathed, battling my tongue for dominance, his kiss soon devouring my own, sending shivers down my spine at the dominance in it. When I pulled back, he looked down at me, his eyes unreadable, save the lust that was starting to burn in them.

"Methinks that was more rewarding for me," I teased with a wink before I turned around and walked away, leaving the guys to jeer and whistle after me… and Maki to stare at my back. Yoruichi met me at the gate, a grin on her face.

"Keep that up, you're going to have every man in the Seireitei chasing you," she teased, watching me fix my robe before we returned to the ninth. I grinned.

"One can only hope," I answered. "When dearest Rangiku grows up, she's gonna put me to shame!"

Yoruichi laughed and we walked back into the party, noting that they'd done a few truth and dares without us.

"Yay!" cheered Mashiro. "Akalia's turn!"

"Gin!" I called, making the boy look at me with a grin.

"Truth!" he told me. I laughed.

"First crush!"

Gin blushed.

"You," he answered, making several girls go "aww" and a few guys roll their eyes. I was blushing.

"Wow… flattering," I admitted, trying to laugh off my blush. The girls giggled at me and then it was Gin's turn. Thus, the game went on and on. However, Kensei and Shinji started to get downright mean with their dares towards each other. The last one they were allowed to play was where they'd entered another drinking contest, the winner getting to "keep" me that night as a prize. That had offended several people, but made most of us laugh, knowing they wouldn't remember any of this come morning. It was after that contest (that neither refused to admit defeat), that we'd all called it a night. So, Mashiro and I took the two drunk men back to the ninth's captain's quarters, since it was closest. Shortly after getting their drunk asses past the door, Mashiro got called away for cleanup. This left me with the two men my body desired most… both drunk and their eyes on me.

Abruptly, I was pulled back against Shinji's chest, as he leaned down to nuzzle my neck, making me shiver and close my eyes.

"Since neither of us won… does that mean you're still mine?" he asked, his hand loosening my robe, tossing my sash aside as the curve of my breasts showed through the opening. A sharp gasp from Kensei reminded us both he was there, his eyes glued to my girls as he licked his lips.

 **This is bad…**

I didn't even have time to agree with Durnehviir before Shinji's hand skillfully opened the front-clasp of my bra, releasing those mounds. Kensei swallowed hard, his eyes hardening as Shinji cupped one in his hand.

"So soft, yet so firm," he said, his voice low. "Don't you wish these lovely mounds were yours?"

The biting tease from Shinji got a dark glare from Kensei, even more so when Shinji slid around me to lick my nipple and suck on it, right in front of his friend. I gasped, unable to help myself, desperately wanting to push Shinji away. A low growl was the only warning I got… before a mouth latched onto my other breast. It was like the two men were determined to out-do each other, making my mind cloud over, try as I might to make sense of all this.

 _W-what on earth…_

 **Your Heat, Master! It's affecting both of them!**

I shivered as their hands began to roughly explore my body.

~ _Well… fuck…_ ~

* * *

The next morning, I woke slowly. My eyes didn't want to open, I was so warm, so relaxed…

And so sore.

Last night came flooding back, making my eyes snap open. In front of me lay Shinji, my body curled up at his side, my head on his shoulder. Behind me, Kensei was pressed against me intimately, his arm around my waist, his hand resting on my breast.

 _Oh… my… god…_

If they weren't at blows before, the memories of last night will certainly bring them to that point.

I felt a panic surge through me, up until I sensed my unease starting to wake the two sleeping men. I froze, ceasing all movement. After making sure they were still sound asleep, I untangled myself slowly and carefully. Then I quickly made my way to the shower. Glancing over the mirror, I took note of every bruise, bite, and scratch that covered my body. The two had taken everything I had… and we had kept at it until almost dawn. As I washed away the sex and healed as many of my wounds as I could reach, I started to hear the two men waking.

After a few moments of silence, Shinji lost it.

"What the hell?!" he roared at Kensei. "That's MY girlfriend!"

"I'm not myself or I wouldn't have!" Kensei defended himself pathetically. "She even said so herself, that I wasn't being myself!"

That seemed to give Shinji pause.

"What do you mean?"

His voice was low, telling me that one wrong word from Kensei would mean a serious fight and possibly both of them going to the fourth division for healing.

"Look, I pulled her aside earlier to apologize for my actions a while back… but ended up not doing that at all," Kensei explained. "I don't understand what's happening… but she told me in a way that solidified the idea that SHE knew… and that she refused to tell me."

"That day after lunch," Shinji surmised, surprising me.

"So… it WAS you I sensed," Kensei said mournfully. "I—"

"Don't apologize again," Shinji cut him off. "Clearly, it is as she said and you are not at fault…"

They both sighed.

"What do we do now?" asked Kensei. "I can't deny that these actions are… are all part of that which I don't understand…"

"You… care about her…" Shinji realized, his tone telling me his heart was sinking.

"And I'm so sorry, Shinji!" Kensei said immediately, regret in his voice. "I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"When did you figure it out?" Shinji asked him.

"Seven Minutes in Heaven," Kensei answered. "I… I was both grateful and greatly irritated every time that timer ran out."

"That long?" Shinji thought aloud, his voice at a loss.

"I love her… probably as much as you do," Kensei admitted, his voice telling of his guilt. "And now… after this… I don't think I can go back to how things were, Shinji."

That's when Kensei's voice got firm.

"From this moment on, I'm competition for her affections," Kensei finished.

"Did she respond to you?" Shinji asked suddenly. "During the game, did she respond to you?"

"Yes," Kensei answered. "Ravenously."

Something clicked into place for Shinji in that instant.

"You can try to compete, but you've already lost," Shinji told Kensei firmly, letting me hear the smirk in his voice, as well as the relief. "She was in Heat… I should have known… And she told you several times already, Kensei… She CHOSE me."

Then I heard the door to the bathroom open and close, heard the door open as Shinji joined me in the shower. He kissed my shoulder and rubbed my arms.

"You missed a few spots," he teased, healing a few things I couldn't reach on my back.

"Sorry I didn't warn you before," I said softly, looking up into his eyes. He smiled softly and kissed me.

"Nothing to apologize for," he assured me. "How often does this heat hit?"

I blushed.

"Four times a year," I answered, relaxing in his embrace, leaning my head in his shoulder, my lips softly caressing his neck.

"How much… did you hear?" he asked. I chuckled.

"All of it," I answered.

"Then you know how he feels…"

Shinji did not sound happy about that, even concerned. I leaned my head up and looked at him, cupping his cheek softly.

"Shinji… I choose you," I reminded him. "It doesn't matter how many others fall head-over-heels for me, there will only be one man I want. That will never change."

He relaxed considerably and hugged me tightly.

"Good," he told me softly. "Next time you're going into heat, tell me. I'll keep you away from compromising situations."

I chuckled and kissed him.

"Gladly, sweetness," I answered, feeling him smile against my lips. "I love you, Shinji Hirako."

And he kissed me, his hands sliding down my back soothingly. I smiled and kissed him back. It was the second time I had ever told him that straight out. After so many fun dates, parties, dinners, all the hot and glorious sex… I finally decided to tell him how I felt.

"I love you, too," he told me after he broke away, those beautiful chocolate eyes looking down into mine, making my body warm at the love in them. I kissed him softly, then pulled back and began healing his marks, though my mind wandered at the very dark mark on his neck while I silently continued to heal him. That mark… I had nearly lost myself last night, had nearly claimed what I could not really claim to be mine…

"Akalia… I don't want to push you… but can you tell me a bit more about yourself?" he asked softly. "I… I don't expect everything… but—"

I placed my finger to his lips.

"I'll tell you what I can," I answered him. "And I'm afraid that will still leave a lot unspoken. I don't tell you to keep you safe… When I don't have to worry anymore… I'll tell you everything."

His eyes gentled, telling me he accepted those terms.

"My name isn't Akalia Sapphirano," I began. "I was given that name by the hollow that raised Kit and I for four hundred years in Hueco Mundo. We were attacked one day by a legion of warriors, all Vasto Lordes. They worked for an enemy of my father's… and were there for a single purpose, to kill me, just to reach him. The hollow that raised me used the last of his strength, just before he died, to send Kit and I to the living world, to safety. He told me to never return to Hueco Mundo… for he wouldn't be there to save me next time."

I let that sink in, knowing I had created more questions than answers.

"My name… is never to be spoken when we are not alone, Shinji," I warned him. "There are those, both here in the soul society and in Hueco Mundo that know it well… and would not hesitate to eradicate me, first chance they got."

That disturbed him, making him realize just how precarious my position was.

"Vasilysa," I told him softly. "Vasilysa Moreadthiel Amalthia Dragomir. That is my name."

His eyes warmed again.

"Vasilysa," he repeated softly, rolling it across his tongue. "It's perfect…"

Then he kissed me tenderly. I smiled softly and kissed him back, letting my fingers run through his hair softly.

"We should finish this shower so we can get to work on time," I reminded him, my voice telling him just how much I loathed having to do that. He chuckled and I grabbed the shampoo, working it into his hair. His eyes never stopped watching me as I did so.

"Can I call you Vas in public?" he asked softly. I chuckled.

"That should be fine," I answered softly.

"I don't want to call you by an untrue name," he explained needlessly. I put my fingers to his lips.

"I told you it was fine," I said softly, smiling. "But only from you. If anyone else tries to call me that, feel free to backhand them."

That made him grin.

"With immense pleasure," he assured me, making me laugh.

* * *

Nine months passed quickly. Kensei made good on his word to Shinji, openly pursuing me now, much to his and Sosuke's annoyance. Granted, Kensei never said those three little words and wasn't overly affectionate, but that was just the way he was. He would steal kisses every chance he got, making Shinji yell and me turn red. I didn't even bother to slap him for them anymore. I knew it would do no good… and I think he was starting to enjoy me hitting him.

I had very quickly told Jushiro what had transpired and about how much I'd been able to bring myself to tell Shinji. Everyone had noticed how Shinji and I seemed even closer than ever… and the new nickname only he was allowed to call me. A few others only made the mistake of trying once. Either Shinji or I would deck them for it and make it clear that it was not okay.

Kouga had told me that I was starting to glow more, my soul so bright with happiness that it was a wonder I wasn't a neon sign. So, I'd told him the rest of my secrets, letting him in on all of them. He reacted just as Jushiro had, making me really happy to have such wonderful friends. However, Kouga recommended that I finally tell Shinji about him… so I promised I would soon… that I might even go as far as to bring him there with me next time. Kouga had told me that would be best. So… I waited for two weeks.

I waited on pins and needles for Shinji to come home. I'd convinced him to move in with me about four days ago. After two days of unpacking, this house started to feel like a real home. Tonight… tonight I would show Shinji the last secret I could safely tell him. Durnehviir and Jushiro had worked with me hard for the past two weeks so I could pull someone else into my Soul Room. I was pacing, I was so nervous.

 **He's here.**

Durnehviir's announcement made me even more nervous.

"I'm home!" Shinji called out.

"Up here, love," I called back. I was sure he could hear the nerves in my voice. Sure enough, I knew he'd flashed to the door as he quickly walked through it, seeing me sitting on my bed, Durnehviir in my lap.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly. I gave him a soft smile and patted the bed in front of me.

"I… I need to show you something," I told him. "You will have to meditate with Durnehviir and I to see it."

"Okay," he said simply, getting comfortable. He shrugged off his haori and his uniform, pulling on a soft, silk set of sleep-pants. Then he sat cross-legged in front of me. Wordlessly, I handed him my zanpakuto.

"Concentrate," I told him. "I'll see you there."

He nodded and closed his eyes. Once I felt a shift within myself, I knew Shinji was there. With a deep breath, I pulled my conscious inside myself. In moments, I opened my eyes to see Shinji and Durnehviir observing each other with their own eyes. Both looked equally perplexed.

"This is who you chose, Master?" Durnehviir asked me, his disdain clear in his voice. "He's barely a twig! The moment you release your instincts on this boy, you'll snap him in two!"

I flushed.

"You zanpakuto is rather unnerving," Shinji told me, taking note of every feature on the enormous, decaying dragon. I chuckled lightly at them both.

"This way, love," I told Shinji, taking his hand in mine. Almost immediately, he froze in shock, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Y-you're glowing!" he stuttered out. Even Durnehviir was surprised.

"I've seen you glow, but not this brightly," the great dragon observed. "Master… you truly HAVE chosen this boy… haven't you?"

I nodded with a soft smile and turned to Shinji.

"The more a soul like mine loves another, the brighter we glow when near the one we love," I told him. "There's a reason I don't visit here right after we've… yeah… It would be like looking at a star, too bright and beautiful."

Slowly, he managed to absorb that and let me lead him to the wall. There he saw the door.

"W-what's this?" he asked, getting tense. I tensed as well, releasing his hand and rubbing my arm softly.

"It's… one of my remaining secrets," I told him. "I… I wasn't sure how to tell you this one… so I let him decide how to tell you."

"Wait… him?" he repeated, his voice getting a worried, but jealous tint to it. I got even more nervous and my hand froze centimeters from the knob. I just couldn't steel myself enough to open it. Doubt began to assault me, filling me with pure unease.

"Master, stop that," Durnehviir scolded gently. As if agreeing with him, Shinji's hand covered my own, pressing my shaking hand to the knob. Slowly, he turned it… and the door creaked open. After we stepped through, he was surprised to see we were back in the bedroom, Durnehviir in his lap… and then he tensed, realizing we were not alone.

"You nearly backed out, didn't you?"

I flushed, but nodded, watching Shinji's head snap over to look at someone he thought was dead.

"Kuchiki!"

"Hirako," Kouga greeted, his eyes soft, but alert. Shinji's eyes went to me immediately, demanding answers for what he was seeing.

"This is indeed the very Kouga that was said to have been killed all those months ago," I began explaining quickly. "It was after I first set foot here that I realized this door was here. Ada, my grandfather, made this door here. He linked Kouga and I's souls… until the day he is freed from his imprisoned state. It will disappear after that."

"Since your first night at this home… That's what you meant when you told Gin Kouga wasn't dead."

I looked at him in surprise.

"You followed me?!"

Shinji frowned at me.

"I noticed you'd tensed when I'd mentioned going to Hueco Mundo," he revealed. "I was worried, hoping you'd mention why… but you only gave cryptic answers."

I looked at my lap in complete shock.

"Told you," Kouga teased, making me shoot him a dirty look and chuck Durnehviir at him. He chuckled and caught it, setting it aside. Seeing Shinji's look, Kouga smiled softly. "She told me she thought only Gin and Sosuke had noticed. I told her she was a fool to think her own captain hadn't."

I blushed again and refused to look at either of them. However, Kouga got up and walked over, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm gonna go," he told me softly. "See you in two weeks."

"B-but Kouga—"

"I'll be fine," he assured me, then vanished in front of our very eyes. I sighed and looked over at Shinji. He was still struggling to absorb this.

"Two weeks?" he asked softly.

"Ada only allows us to visit twice a month," I answered.

"Then… all those mornings I woke alone…"

"I came back here to see him those nights. I keep him here as long as I can so he can get some freedom from the constant darkness of his prison."

Silence fell like a blanket, a heavy, constricting blanket.

"Do you still love him?" he asked, his voice so quiet that I barely heard him.

"I did… at first… but not anymore," I answered softly. "I gave my heart completely to you, Shinji. He has no claim on it, hasn't since the first month after that door first appeared."

That surprised Shinji.

"You… you've loved me… that long?" he asked. I nodded, my eyes meeting his.

"I'm gonna go get some tea," I said softly. "Take the time to sort your thoughts."

Then I left the room, shutting the door quietly behind me. As I walked down the hall, I saw Rangiku and Gin on the couch, talking and laughing as they played a board game. It made me smile.

"Need anything to eat or drink?" I asked softly. Immediately, I got two glowing smiles.

"No thanks," they chorused, making me chuckle and walk on down to the kitchen. There, I started warming some water on the stove. After a few moments, I just leaned on the counter, my thoughts in disarray again.

Once more, I'd given Shinji a lot to think about… and more questions than answers…

A slight pang rang through my heart.

~ _Will I never be able to remove all these secrets between us?_ ~

I heard Durnehviir sigh.

 **Not until you are certain he will be safe will you feel truly capable of telling him everything. You love him, dearly. That will have to be enough for now.**

I sighed again and forced my depressive thoughts away. They weren't really helping.

 **Master… listen.**

So, I took a seat and waited.

* _What is she hiding that she so fears to tell me? Would it really endanger me?_ *

I was shocked. Shinji was talking to Durnehviir!

 **Krosis. I cannot answer you clearly. The most I can tell you is that, what she hides from you yet, explains all the questions that burn within you as well as many that you do not realize exist yet. She knows well that, in your current position as a member of the thirteen court guard squads, you are bound under oath to do your duty, no matter the cost. As such, she does not wish to put you in a position that would, most likely, cause you to betray your oaths in their entirety and label yourself as a traitor. She took a great risk in telling all to Jushiro, yes, but nowhere near the risk she would take in telling you.**

Durnehviir paused, making sure Shinji felt a wave of gentle comfort.

 **It is you… she cannot bear to lose. It is YOU that she loves and fears most. It is YOU that holds her very existence in your hands. I wish I could clarify that statement, but I cannot. Shinji, the world will learn the truth, if her vision comes true.**

* _Her vision…the one she told me about?_ *

Silently, I pleaded with Durnehviir not to tell him, but I knew he would anyway.

 **Shinji… It was you she saw conscious in that vision. Around you, suffering, lay Rose, Love, Kensei, Hiyori, Mashiro, Lisa, and one other she does not know.**

Shinji seemed shocked into silence.

 **It is YOU she is determined to get stronger to protect. It is YOU she loves enough to put her own life at risk to change the future. My master's visions can only be stopped by great, personal cost. And… if this one is not prevented, you will all die… and her heart will be lost. Everyone will learn the truth that day. People like my Master can only truly love once, can only give their heart away once… and it is binding. A broken heart is easy for a soul to mend… but not one like her. The dark blood she carries will consume her… and she will be slain for the safety of all others. The day you die… so shall my Master.**

I was shaking, cursing Durnehviir for having said too much. The whistle of the kettle pulled my attention back to the present, but I knew I would still hear all that was said. I walked over and pulled it off the burner, preparing the pot. I put in three bags and then poured in the water. The silence was telling me that Shinji was struggling to absorb all of this.

"Bye, Akalia!" called Rangiku as I walked by with the tray. "We'll be gone for supper so don't wait up!"

I chuckled and waved her away, then continued on towards the bedroom. When I entered, Shinji was staring out the window, Durnehviir back in the corner. His expression was deeply troubled. Softly, I set the tray down and walked over to him.

"Shinji?" I asked softly, concerned. Wordlessly, he pulled me into his arms and just held me. Silently, I wrapped my arms around him and just held him back. I hoped this would soothe him in some form. I did so dearly love him…

"I love you," he told me softly, tilting my face up to kiss me softly, gently. I kissed him back.

"I love you, too," I answered, and we fell silent, just holding one another, both of us lost in our thoughts.

* * *

It was about two weeks later that I learned of Kisuke's promotion to Captain. I had eagerly congratulated him, making the poor boy blush twice at the attention I was basking him in. Hiyori was, understandably, less enthusiastic about it. In fact, Kisuke was often nursing new bruises and bandages due to her childish and abusive behavior. Shinji had spoken to Kisuke about Hiyori, explaining her behavior and giving him tips on how to act as a Captain, remarking that Kisuke was too nervous and uncertain.

Shinji never again asked me if I'd ever seen more when I'd jerk awake, my vision ruining my peaceful night. He would only hold me as I cried, comfort me as best he could. Every time, I would struggle to get more information… and be denied time and time again. It was starting to vex me, truly vex me. I wanted him to be safe… to live…

Kensei had backed off a lot since Shinji had started living with me. It was like he had finally accepted that he had lost. That made a lot of our friends breathe a little easier, knowing the two were done fighting now. It also lessened tensions between Mashiro and I. Everyone knew Mashiro had always had a thing for her Captain, something I recalled teasing them both about a lot… and now got to do again.

Shinji had asked to have my visitation with Kouga to himself last night, so I had stayed in the Captain's quarters that night… and had woken up with Shinji's arms around me as he grumbled for me to turn off the damned alarm clock. It had warmed my heart greatly to wake with him there, knowing that meant the visit had gone well… and that Shinji was not getting driven away from me.

At the moment, the four of us were in the office. Shinji and Sosuke were doing paperwork. Gin and I were dancing to the jazz playing, making me laugh every time he stepped on my foot. It amused me to no end, especially learning that he was only learning because he wanted to be able to dance when the next festival came. I had giggled and consented to teach him. Shinji would, occasionally, change the type of jazz so he could learn several different types of dances. At one point, Sosuke had even put on a salsa, making me laugh, but teach Gin that too.

"Where did you learn to dance?" Shinji asked, watching me dance with Gin. I chuckled.

"Kouga taught me," I answered. "When Sosuke agreed to be my date for the festival, I realized, to my embarrassment, that I had no idea how to dance… so he and his wife taught me."

"You didn't know how to dance… before our date?" Sosuke clarified. I shook my head with a glowing smile, giggling again when Gin miss-stepped onto my foot again. He blushed and righted himself quickly, muttering yet another apology that I waved off.

"Be glad you're not the one teaching me," I told Gin. "Poor Kouga… I was wearing stilettos…"

That made all three men wince, imagining that. I giggled again and continued to dance.

"Miss Kuchiki?"

I paused and looked to the door.

"Lord Ginrei would like a word," the stranger said. I smiled softly and released Gin.

"We'll continue this later," I assured him, then took my leave, flashing to the sixth office. There, I knocked softly on the door and entered.

"Welcome back, my child," he greeted warmly. "I apologize that I haven't checked in with you more… but it would seem that you do not need me to. You have made many friends, my child."

I chuckled and accepted the tea, taking a seat on the couch.

"It's been wonderful," I agreed.

"Are you liking the fifth division?" he asked. I nodded immediately.

"I love it," I answered. "My friends are all there, as is the love of my life… I could not ask for more."

He smiled softly.

"I have called you here because there will be a grand party, a wedding of two clans," he explained. "You will need to be there and with a date. I assume you're intending to take Captain Hirako?"

I nodded.

"Then do tell him that it starts this Friday at seven o'clock," he told me. "Tell him he has to wear an actual kimono, not his usual captain's garb… and tell him to do something with that hair of his."

I giggled and nodded, then took my leave, heading back to the office.

"What was that about?" Shinji asked. I giggled again.

"Friday at seven o'clock, you and I have somewhere to be," I told him, grinning. He began to grin back.

"Oh?" he asked playfully. "Is that so?"

"It's a wedding," I answered. "Ginrei said you're to wear an actual kimono and you're supposed to 'do something with that hair of his'."

Shinji flushed immediately, running a hand through his hair.

"What's wrong with my hair?" he asked. I giggled.

"As far as I'm concerned, nothing," I answered. "Ginrei means for you to pull it out of your face, to be a bit more presentable."

I shrugged.

"It'll take twenty seconds," I pointed out. "Not a big deal… or I can have Sosuke shave it again while you sleep."

My teasing got an immediate flush from Shinji as he glared at me.

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

I laughed heartily, sitting down on the couch so I wouldn't fall down, I was laughing so hard.

"Don't you need to shop for a new kimono for this wedding?" Sosuke asked, getting my attention after I'd finally managed to stop laughing.

"Yes," I answered. "But I have no taste, or so I've been told. I think I might have to ask Shunsui or Jushiro to help me."

"Shunsui?!"

All three boys looked at me like I'd grown three heads.

"Do you want to be presentable or look like a whore?" Shinji demanded. "Ask Jushiro LONG before you even consider Shunsui!"

I giggled, choosing not to mention that Shunsui had helped choose most of my wardrobe over the past two years.

"And you'll need to get one as well, Captain," Sosuke pointed out.

"Guess I know what we're doing after work," I teased, then dialed Jushiro. After a few rings, he picked up.

"Yes?" he asked. "Oh! It's you, Akalia. What can I do for you?"

"I could use your help again," I answered. "Shinji and I need proper attire for a nobles' wedding."

"Ah," Jushiro replied. "Then you ARE attending the union between the Yamamoto clan and the Kira clan?"

I smiled.

"Seems so," I answered.

"How about I come get the two of you after work and we can go shopping from there?" he suggested. I smiled softly. "I'll have Shunsui help again, since he knows what clothes work best for you after all these years."

That got three incredulous looks, making me giggle.

"Sounds great," I answered. "See you at five."

Then we hung up.

"Like I said, guess we know what we're doing tonight," I teased Shinji.

* * *

 **Well, this chapter is a few more answers... and a few more questions. I hope my dear readers are enjoying this tale as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Forewarning, as this progresses, there will be even more time skips. I do apologize for how rushed it may seem at times, but I promise it will be worth it. Just hang on, my dear readers, and you will finally have all the answers you seek.**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	16. Time Marches On

The wedding was finally here. I was very nervous as Lisa put the finishing touches on my make-up and hair. Shunsui and Jushiro were helping Shinji. They had forced us to shop separately, and then had confiscated the clothing until it was time to dress for the wedding. It was almost like they were trying to dress us for our own wedding!

Lisa smiled as she observed her handiwork. When she stepped back from me, I finally got to look in the mirror. My hair had been pulled back into a pony-tail, a bright, golden dragon adorning the clip. My kimono was black with red accents in the forms of dragons, each trimmed in gold. From my ears dangled golden dragons that dusted my shoulders. My make-up was sparse, only done to accent, not cover. As this was a very important occasion, the sleeves nearly reached the floor. I smiled softly at myself, then got a little nervous.

"Do you think Shinji will like it?" I asked softly. Lisa chuckled at my nerves.

"He won't be able to take his eyes off of you," she assured me. The kimono, thanks to my large bust, didn't quite shut in the front, revealing those marvelous globes to those who cared to look (aka most of the male population). To accompany the outfit, I'd bought a fan, one I intended to use to cover said cleavage from the wandering gazes of others.

"Are you ladies ready?" called up Shunsui.

"We're done," we called back as we left my room. Slowly, I came to the top of the stairs. Shinji's eyes froze on me as I descended, making me blush. He was looking quite delicious himself. His kimono was a peaceful green color, accented with white and gold. His hair had been pulled back into a ponytail as well, his bangs thinned to not look chunky without the surrounding hair.

"You look beautiful," Shinji finally managed to say as I stopped in front of him. I blushed and smiled softly.

"You're quite fetching yourself," I answered, throwing in a wink. He grinned at that and offered his arm.

"Shall we get this over with?" he asked. I nodded and took it as he led us out to the waiting carriage.

The wedding seemed to take forever, but the reception was pleasant. There was the cake, of course, dancing, sake, and congratulations for the lucky couple. I often fought my dismay, realizing the couple were only children, possibly Gin's age. Shinji was better at hiding his disdain, but I knew him well enough to know it bugged him, too. After we'd milled around, the two of us took our leave, choosing to walk back to my home.

"Gods, I'm glad I wasn't born noble," I commented. "Can you imagine getting married that young?"

Shinji chuckled.

"Not unless it was to you," he answered, making me blush again.

"Shinji!" I objected, lightly slapping his arm. He chuckled again and kissed my hand. "Did you ever think about getting hitched, your own personal ball and chain?"

Shinji laughed.

"Me? Never! Had to find a serious girl, first."

I giggled, agreeing.

"What about you?" he asked. I smiled softly.

"Every girl dreams of her wedding, even back when she's a child and knows next to nothing about it," I answered softly.

"Then you've got it all planned out, don't you?" he teased, making me blush and hit him again.

"Hardly," I answered. "What I wanted as a little girl and what I want now are very different."

I smiled softly again.

"I saw my first wedding in Hueco Mundo," I admitted. "Ulquiorra hid the three of us in the crowd, shielded us with his energy, so I could watch my sister get married. I was four at the time… and immediately told Ulquiorra that, when I grew up, I wanted to be a bride."

Shinji chuckled.

"I'm going to assume that amused him," he guessed. I nodded with a grin.

"First time I'd ever seen him blush, too," I giggled. "First and only, actually."

"I'm also going to assume that Ulquiorra is the hollow that raised you?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I should have clarified."

"Do you want a wedding like your sister's?"

I shook my head.

"Nothing that extravagant," I answered. "I was never big on having more guests than you could name or having one so large that it took an entire kingdom to host it."

Shinji shook his head both in wonder and amusement.

"That was her dream," I went on softly. "I was glad to see her so happy… but I knew I wanted something smaller and quieter. A few friends, loved ones… and the man I would give my eternity to…"

I heart gave another pang as I realized he wouldn't really understand how literal that was. After all, I couldn't tell him…

"Well, we're already dressed, why don't we head over to that new restaurant?" he asked suddenly, seeing the lights of it in the distance. I smiled softly.

"I'd love to," I answered, letting him lead me there. Normally, we would require a reservation, but finally, we were seated. "I've never been to such a place…"

Shinji quirked a brow at me.

"A Kuchiki never having set foot in an upper-crust restaurant?" he teased. "What kind of noble are you?"

I giggled.

"The very special kind," I answered, making him chuckle.

* * *

Nine years passed so quickly, leaving me at the mercy of sanity. Kisuke had turned the twelfth division into a science division, much to Hiyori's annoyance… but she seemed to finally grudgingly accept her Captain. Their crazy third seat, however, even gave me the creeps. Mayuri Kurotsuchi. That was his name. He was, to put it mildly, a complete basket case. I'd often asked Kisuke about his sanity in having brought that man into his squad. Kisuke had only waved off my fears with laughter and occasionally flirtatious jokes. He seemed to already know I wouldn't get offended like so many others did.

As for Shinji and I? I had never been this full of love for someone as I was for him. He made me so happy, so full of life… Even after all these years, the romance, the fire, the passion… none of it had faded. We still teased and laughed, still flirted and embarrassed each other… Of course, at this point, my instincts had started to drive me to insanity. My blood called to him, wanting more, so much more than he knew how to give… and the guilt of not telling him everything was a near constant torment that only his arms, his love, could banish… even if only for a time.

Jushiro had, like so many others, asked when the two of us were finally going to tie to the knot. Neither I nor Shinji ever answered, just laughed it off. It wasn't that I didn't want to… it was more… I was waiting on him, I guess. I had forever… he did not. And he never hinted at marriage all these years, other than the occasional question about it after we'd attend other noble weddings. He never forgot a birthday or our anniversary (though I forgot the latter twice). He was… wonderful… to me, more wonderful than I deserved.

Jushiro had also realized that my instincts wanted more. That told me if he realized that fact, then others would have as well, Shinji especially. My heart was completely his and I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I could never get my heart back. Our fates were now bound together, for better or for worse.

My vision had become more frequent, waking me nightly now. That told me it was soon, very soon. I had gotten used to the horrible feelings and got better at keeping from waking Shinji when this happened. For the past year and a half, I had let him believe the visions had ceased, letting him sleep in peace.

Gin had moved in with us, taking another spare room, near Rangiku's. The two were almost always together, almost stuck to each other like glue. It was adorable. I was certain the two would end up dating when they got older. Kouga, by Shinji's rule, was no longer allowed to appear in our bedroom when he visited. Shinji felt that our room should be a space for US and Kouga, thankfully, agreed wholeheartedly. Now, when he came, we visited in a den on the other side of the house.

Two warm hands lightly rested on my shoulders as Shinji stepped up behind me. He was relaxing in a pair of loose pants and nothing else, both of us just looking out the window at the snow. Softly, his hand brushed my hair aside, baring my neck for his lips to kiss lightly.

"You really want to go play in it, don't you?" he teased, the grin in his voice. I chuckled.

"Like you don't enjoy those snowball fights as much as I do," I teased back, turning my head to kiss him softly. "But… while it's blizzarding like this, I have no intention of leaving this house."

He chuckled. I may love snow, but I hated the cold. He'd often stated that it was quite the conundrum, making several others agree with him.

"You should use this as an excuse to cuddle and… warm up," he whispered in my ear, his voice telling me just what he really meant by that. I giggled and flicked his nose.

"And I'm supposed to be the one in heat," I teased, making him grin. "I believe I promised Gin Curry tonight… or I would."

Shinji gave a very exaggerated pout and I giggled again.

"Then I guess I'm coming along to distract you," he decided, making me laugh as we headed towards the warmth of the kitchen. Sure enough, as I tried to cook, he would constantly steal kisses, purposefully get in my way (only letting me pass for a kiss or a kinky grope), and would come up behind me and take over what I was doing (like cutting up vegetables) keeping me trapped between him and the counter. I really needed to stop telling this boy when he was driving me nuts… he was learning far too quickly.

"Aren't you supposed to stir?" he teased, making me flush and focus back on the task as his hands slinked slowly, teasingly up my sides. I shivered and gave him a half-hearted glare over my shoulder. He just grinned, his face telling me he was on a countdown until I finally broke and let him have his way.

 _Not this time! I won't do it this time!_

 **Sure you will. You always do.**

~ _Can it, Durnehviir._ ~

The dragon just laughed at me. I knew he was right. Sooner or later, in my heat, I would come at Shinji's call, give in to him and get lost in his touch, his taste… I always did… After a while, I turned the burner off and leaned out the door.

"Supper's ready!"

"Okay!" came two answers. I chuckled as Shinji set the small kitchen table for the group. We only used the dining hall when there was a party or big crowd. Otherwise, it was just a waste.

"How domesticated our lives have become," I teased him, making him smile softly. "Might have to add a few infants in just to shake things up."

Immediately he froze. After a few seconds, his face lit up and he picked me up, making me yelp as he spun me around. Slowly, he slid my body down his, down to stand on my own feet, his warm, brown eyes looking into mine.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked me. I chuckled and nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him softly.

"Only if they're all yours," I answered, making him scowl in jealousy at the thought.

"They'd better be," he replied, then kissed me possessively, making me melt into him.

"Aww!" Rangiku gushed, making the two of us laugh and look over at her. "You two are like the perfect example of a love story!"

Shinji released me and I chuckled at her, taking my seat. Shinji and I sat on opposite sides, Gin and Rangiku next to us on opposite sides. It was a small, square table, after all.

"Shall we?" I asked and thus, started filling bowls. Ever since I had first made this for Gin, as I'd promised, he'd been addicted to it. Also, I'd discovered he had a great love of dried persimmons, something he got addicted to after the first helping I'd had him taste. He'd badger me for hours on end, begging me to make more… so I'd taught him how to make them for himself.

With Gin and Rangiku around, it was almost like we really WERE a family. Though we never really gave each other the familial names, we still treated each other like it. Rangiku was like my daughter or even a much younger sister. Gin was like a younger brother. And Shinji was clearly the "dad" or "big brother" of the household. We had even taken to having a "family game night" once a week. We grew very close, the four of us. My new family was my world… and I knew I would be lost without them. Once a month, the four of us would go to the world of the living for a four-day-weekend. Each time, it was somewhere different. Next weekend, Shinji promised we would be going to Venice, Italy! Rangiku and I had squealed like little girls and tackled him in hugs when he told us. He'd just laughed and let us.

Now, Rangiku, Gin, and Shinji all carried spare keys to my—I mean—our home. It just made things easier on all of us, since we were almost never arriving home at the same time and the door was always locked tight behind all of us whether we were entering or leaving. I was a bit of a worry-wart when it came to my home, something that had both amused and annoyed the other three for months, until they got used to it anyway.

I couldn't be happier with life right now. Everything was perfect… well… as perfect as it could be. I should mention that I had left the Thirteen Court Guard Squads to devote myself to my love, my home, my family, and my clan. As a Kuchiki, I was often required to attend noble events and deal with clan issues. Due to how I was Ginrei's adopted daughter, it also put me at the fore-front to become the next head of the family. However, I asked Ginrei, that if anything should happen to me, that the head of the family should go to Byakuya.

Now, Byakuya and I rarely saw eye-to-eye. The boy had a terrible temper and didn't know the meaning of the word "fun". He didn't like my relationship with a lower-class nobody like Shinji and he didn't like that we lived together while still unmarried. Byakuya also didn't really like how I'd so easily opened my doors to two other street rats, Gin and Rangiku. However, with Ginrei backing me up, I had put Byakuya in his place. I had explained that my life was mine to choose. At least the man I was living with was also the man I fully intended to marry one day. As for the "street rats", they were not only family to me, but they were accepted by Ginrei as well. Byakuya, as I said, did not particularly get along with me. His views on what a noble should act like and mine were just too different.

"By the way, I should remind you that I'm headed off to Hueco Mundo for a mission tomorrow," Shinji reminded me. No matter how many times he went, he knew I worried. I always did… and he wasn't completely oblivious as to why. "I won't be back until Thursday. When I get back, we'll start packing. We leave Friday for our trip."

Rangiku squealed excitedly and bounced in her seat.

"Oh Italy!" she gushed, grabbing Gin's arm. "How exciting! The sights! The music! The romance!"

"The food," Gin put in, making Rangiku scowl at him, while he just grinned. Shinji and I chuckled and chose to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

"I want to one day get married in Italy," Rangiku went on excitedly. "I want to be taken to my wedding by gondola and wear this big, fluffy dress—"

I just giggled and finished eating, tuning her out mostly. Rangiku was like my elder sister—she liked extravagance. Rangiku was always indulging in herself, eating up a large portion of Gin's paycheck, too… at least until I put a stop to that, telling Rangiku that she needed to get a job to support her shopping. So, she had found a local job at a restaurant. It was a high-class place and they loved having such an adorable young waitress there. Rangiku, though rather lazy most of the time, did quite well when it came to dealing with the customers and raking in good tips. The job suited her quite well and she was paid weekly on top of all of her tips.

"Where do you want to get married?" asked Rangiku, making me smile softly at her.

"Hmm," I said softly, thinking about it. "I think it would be nice to get married in an orchard… when all the trees are in full bloom, white petals swaying in the breeze…"

I let her imagine that for a few seconds.

"Or maybe on a beach," I suggested. "The waves gently rolling in, the sunset on the water, the sand tickling my feet…"

Again, I let her imagine.

"Getting married in the mountains would be beautiful as well," I continued, only for Gin to cover my mouth.

"Stop!" he said urgently. "You're giving her ideas!"

Rangiku and I laughed immediately, making poor Gin shake his head.

"Seriously though, I can honestly say I don't really care where," I told her with a warm smile. "And you'll find that, when the time comes, neither will you. The only thing that's going to matter… is the man that will be waiting there just for you."

"Aww!" Rangiku started again, making Gin give a tortured, rueful sigh. I giggled at his duress and then rose, collecting dishes as I went.

"Stop," Gin told me again, putting his hand on mine. "It's my turn tonight."

I chuckled and obeyed, letting him finish the cleanup. The staff had the weekend off and wouldn't be back until morning. Shinji lightly clasped my hand and pulled me away, back to our room. Once the door was shut, he pulled me into his arms.

"I won't get to see you for four days," he reminded me, a grin on his face. "I might not get much sleep tonight, but I'm going to enjoy every minute of it."

I laughed as he swung me up in his arms and carried me to the bed.

* * *

I was struggling to concentrate, I really was. The paperwork in front of me kept swimming under my gaze. Gin was there, keeping me company. He was lamenting the fact that Rangiku wanted to do a bunch of shopping in Italy while stuffing his cheeks with dried persimmons. Mentally, I was far from this office.

Sosuke and Shinji weren't back yet. They were supposed to be back this morning… and they were five hours late. It was taking all I had not to panic, though numerous worst-case scenarios were running through my head at rapid speeds. In an effort to calm me, Gin was blathering on… but I knew he knew it was having little effect. At the moment, I was torn between wanting to hug Shinji as soon as I saw him… and wanting to pull a Hiyori on him.

"Gin, I'm stepping out," I told him abruptly. He frowned at me.

"Want me to come?" he asked. I shrugged.

"You can," I answered. "Maybe Kisuke can keep me busy."

Thus, we both left the office, though I left a note on Shinji's desk telling him where to find us. Then we flashed to the twelfth. Seconds later, Kisuke looked up from a project and smiled warmly, seeing my expression.

"Here, you can help me," he told me, quickly putting me to work. He had me comparing slides and then had me condensing his notes. Hiyori kept frowning as Gin whispered to her, seeming to tell her just how worried I was. Her mood darkened with every passing hour, more so every time she caught me glancing at the clock, getting more and more worried.

Finally, a messenger came from the doors, telling us that Captain Hirako was back!

I nearly leapt out of my seat, but Hiyori jerked me back down into it and glared at me.

"You're not going anywhere," she snarled at me. "That idiot has some shit to answer for!"

I gave her a small smile and returned to condensing notes, trusting her. Kisuke had him shown to the door where we were working. Ten seconds after he opened the door…

Hiyori slammed both of her feet right in his face. The door was slammed shut behind her, but I could hear her ripping into him. The door and walls muffled what she was saying, but she was definitely letting him have it. Several other squad members (who weren't used to those two yet) were wincing several times, especially every time there was a loud thump and another cry of pain from Shinji. After about twenty minutes, the door slid open and Hiyori stomped back in, shutting the door behind her.

"Your boyfriend's waiting to apologize," she told me, taking over the condensing. I smiled at her softly and hugged her, making her flush.

"Thanks, Hiyori," I told her. "You're a real friend."

"Eh, whatever," she said. "Go away, you damned pest."

I chuckled, knowing she didn't really mean that.

"Thanks, Kisuke," I said, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I can always count on you."

He flushed and smiled, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

"No problem," he told me. "Come back any time."

I smiled warmly and nodded, taking my leave. Outside, Shinji was nursing several new cuts, bruises, and a bloody nose. I giggled as I began healing his wounds, listening to him rant about Hiyori as we walked back to the house, Gin following behind us, still eating his treats. As soon as we got in the door, Rangiku stole Gin, talking about how she couldn't decide what to pack and Shinji and I headed to our room. Once inside, Shinji pulled me close and kissed me softly. I cut it short, making sure he knew how upset with him I was.

"You should be grateful it was Hiyori beating the crap out of you and not me," I told him crossly, making him wince at the thought. I crossed my arms and glared at him. "You had me worried sick! Nine hours late, Shinji! Nine! What the hell?! I thought something happened! God, I don't think there's a single worst-case scenario that I didn't think of! My poor ticker hasn't slowed down a lick since this morning!"

Shinji just pulled me into his arms, holding me close.

"Relax," he told me soothingly. "I'm home. I'm right here, with you. Nothing happened, save the fact that the gateway wouldn't stabilize. We kept getting outrageous energy readings every time we made a move in Hueco Mundo. It was like we were being followed by something… but every time we tried to investigate, the source would vanish. It was a weird energy from three of them. The last one, though… that was definitely a hollow. No one got hurt. It just took a while to get that particular reiatsu to leave us long enough to open the gate properly."

I had tensed the moment he'd begun to explain.

 _Strange and Hollow energy… Could it be? There was… there was a fragment of my energy in his last birthday gift, a small charm I'd put on a necklace for him in the shape of a dragon eye… Would that be enough to draw them?_

"Vasilysa?" Shinji asked softly, concerned. "Do you… know something?"

I gripped his arms tightly.

"Were you wearing that charm I gave you?" I asked him, my voice urgent. He looked baffled for a moment. "Were you wearing it in Hueco Mundo?! Answer me!"

"Yes!" he answered immediately, his confusing growing as worry grew within him as well. "I never take it off!"

Part of me sweetened at that.

"First off, aww," I said with a soft smile, then got serious again. "And secondly… that's why you were followed. My reiatsu is fused with that charm, remember?"

He tensed.

"The source or sources that followed you… were looking for me," I spelled out. Shinji's frown deepened.

"You can't… tell me about that yet… can you?" he asked slowly. I shook my head.

"Not yet," I answered. "I want to, Shinji, believe me… but not yet. I can't."

I released him, pacing as I cursed under my breath.

"They'd know that reiatsu was recently placed," I thought aloud, pacing back and forth. "Then it's only a matter of time…"

I paused and looked at Shinji.

"Can you recall precisely what the source or sources reiatsu felt like?" I asked him. He nodded and I reached over, placing my hand on his temple. He looked at me curiously. "Focus on that. Remember it as clearly as you can… one at a time."

He nodded and started doing so. I closed my eyes and focused on his mind, on his thoughts. After a few moments, I felt the reiatsu he had sensed.

"Halvar… Siward… Asmund…" I listed as I recognized them, only to freeze at the last, jerking away, stumbling back from Shinji, nearly falling. "It… It can't be…"

My heart was racing, my shock on my features as I struggled to absorb what I'd just felt.

"It can't be! I watched him die!"

I gripped my head tightly, fighting the war deep inside. I began to shake, my mind struggling to grasp what I had just sensed.

"Who was the last one?" Shinji asked quietly, pulling me into a comforting hug… at least as comforting as he could be when he was so confused.

"I-it… it felt like…" I was struggling just to say it. "It… It was… Ulquiorra…"

Now Shinji froze in shock.

"I saw him die!" I repeated, starting to shake again. "I. Saw. Him. Die!"

"Maybe he survived somehow?" Shinji offered lamely. I could only shake my head, struggling to wrap my head around this. "Who are the others?"

I tensed, but decided to answer.

"Two of them work for my father," I answered softly. "But Halvar… he's my brother."

Again, Shinji was shaken by surprise.

"You are fortunate that all those who followed you were friendly in nature, not my father's enemies," I stated, forcing my shaking aside as I look into his eyes. "Never wear that charm into Hueco Mundo again. If it's one of my father's enemies that senses my energy, they won't just hide and watch. They'll slaughter you without a thought. Promise me, Shinji."

"I refuse to take it off," he told me firmly. "But I'll put a barrier around it before I enter Hueco Mundo again to contain the energy signature."

I relaxed immensely and just held him.

"If the wrong person had sensed that… I could have lost you," I whispered softly, my heart wrenching painfully at the thought. Immediately, the arms around me tightened.

"Hey, I'm still here," he reminded me, speaking softly. "Clear your mind of all this. It's over and done. Relax… and think about tomorrow."

Slowly, I did as he asked. I felt my spirits lift almost immediately and I smiled up at him.

"Italy…" I said softly. "Have you ever been there?"

Shinji grinned.

"Only once," he answered. "We're testing some more equipment for Kisuke on this trip."

"Oh?" I asked, walking over to the dresser and closet to pack a few casual outfits. I'd shop for some more appropriate outfits there. "More language modifying tech?"

Shinji nodded, grabbing his own suitcase and packing a few things.

"We're to pick up our gigai on the way out," he told me, making me smile softly. Kisuke had made Shinji and I special gigai that concealed our reiatsu. It made it so that we could blend in with other humans without fear of being detected. We'd been using those specific gigai for years, though he kept working on them, claiming they weren't good enough yet.

"Gods, I'm so excited!" I said, unable to stop the slight skip in my step, making Shinji grin at me. "I've heard so much about Italy! I've been dying to see it!"

His grin grew.

"I know," he told me. "That's why I specifically requested it."

I squealed and pounced, knocking him to the floor in my joy, making him laugh as I straddled him, leaning over him.

"You're the best boyfriend ever!" I told him, kissing him. He grinned and kissed me back, resting his hands on my hips.

"Don't go falling for any of those Italian boys," he teased me, making me laugh.

"And what could they possibly have on my delicious Shinji?" I teased back, watching him grin smugly as I stroked his ego. I caressed his face softly, teasingly. "I highly doubt they could match these sinfully chiseled features…"

I slid my nails through his hair, watching his eyes start to darken with lust.

"…those silky locks…"

I bit his lip softly and stole a kiss.

"…or these velvet, tempting lips…"

Abruptly, he rolled, placing me beneath him as he kissed me passionately. I gave a soft, begging whimper as I arched into him, tangling my fingers in his hair again, wrapping my legs around his waist to grind our sexes together. He growled and roughly rocked his hips, his shaft hardening with every thrust against my growing wetness.

"Captain Hirako!"

We both swore darkly at Sasakibe's voice.

"What the hell, Sasakibe?" Shinji demanded, his voice as cross as the emotions running through him.

"The Head Captain would like to hear your report tonight before you can leave," was the reply. After all these years, Sasakibe was used to the results of his terrible timing.

"Gotta go," Shinji grumbled, stealing a few more kisses as I released him from my legs and hands. "God, tomorrow cannot come soon enough… Four days without a single interruption…"

I giggled and kissed him again.

"Get going," I told him. "We're both going to need our rest if that's the case."

His grin was full of wicked promises as he kissed me once more, then took his leave. I chuckled softly and got ready for bed, dressing in a simple silken nightie that was more like lingerie than bed clothes… but Shinji had bought it for me while we were in Paris, so I wore it proudly… and the fact that it turned him on every time he saw me in it was just an added perk.

Chuckling to myself again, I curled up under the covers and let sleep steal me away.

* * *

 **Hello my readers. Please let me know how I'm doing! I do love hearing from you, even if all you have to say is that I'm being annoying with all this cryptic half-answering thing. Look forward to the next chapter soon!**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	17. Italy and the Beginning of the End

"IT'S TIME TO GO!"

Both Shinji and I grunted as Rangiku jumped in the middle of us, waking us mere seconds after the sun would rise in Italy, making me laugh at her excitement as she raced away. Shinji just groaned and tried to go back to bed, making me laugh and pull the covers off of him.

"Come on," I told him. "Before our heathen of a daughter comes back."

He gave me a wry smile for that, but sighed and got up.

"What would you name them?" I asked absently, pulling on a simple kimono.

"Huh?" he asked, his brain not quite in gear this early in the morning. "Name what?"

"Our kids," I answered. He got a soft smile at that. I knew he really wanted kids.

"Hm…" he thought aloud. "For a boy… I like the name… Yukiya."

I smiled softly.

"Yukiya…" I repeated. "And a girl?"

"Amalthia," he answered immediately, shooting me a warm smile. I blushed lightly, but smiled back.

"You're sweet," I told him and he chuckled.

"What would you name them?" he asked. I smiled softly.

"For a boy, I'd want him named Enra," I answered. "For a girl, I've always liked the name Anuket."

"Anuket? Sounds foreign."

"Ancient Egyptian, actually. I've always had a weird fascination with that culture."

Shinji chuckled.

"Even after all these years, I'm still learning new things about you," he teased, making me chuckle.

"I could say the same of you," I replied.

"Are you ready yet?" Rangiku asked, bouncing into the room. Shinji and I exchanged amused smiles as we chuckled.

"Yes," I answered. "Let's go to Kisuke."

She squealed and skipped out, nearly running in her excitement.

"Are you sure you want more kids running around?" he teased me. I laughed and followed the excited girl, letting Shinji get our suitcase. After all, we shared the same one.

The entire first day and the morning and afternoon of the second had been spent taking Rangiku to nearly every store we could find. Poor Gin… she made him judge every piece of clothing she tried on. For this evening, however, Shinji told me just to get into something formal. He had been so romantic this trip and so sweet… It was keeping me in a constantly melted state of mind.

"Ready to go?" Shinji asked, standing in the bathroom doorway. I chuckled and relaxed, turning to look at him. He had chosen to wear a simple set of black slacks and a nice, button-up shirt and a tie. I was wearing a simple, black dress, accented in red. It hugged my upper-body, clear to my hips, like a second skin, making my large bosom look even bigger.

"Yeah," I answered him. "I'm ready. Are the kids?"

Shinji grinned.

"They're not coming," he informed me, surprising me. He took my hand and drew me close. "This evening… is just you and I."

"You think of everything," I told him, blushing lightly. He just chuckled and offered his hand, leading me down the stairs to a gondola. After a short ride, he led me into a nice, upper-class restaurant. I was surprised, but didn't say a word as he led us to a reserved table near the dancefloor. I blushed lightly and took the seat he pulled out for me.

"Shinji…"

"Not a word," he told me, knowing exactly what I was going to say. I blushed and chose to look at the menu instead. That dinner was peaceful and delicious, filled with soft teasing and casual flirtations. Shinji had even ordered wine, asking for some of the best wine they had, which they had immediately brought us a bottle of. He was well into his fourth glass while I was still nursing my first.

"Wanna dance?" he asked, offering his hand. I blushed, but took it, letting him lead me from our table to the middle of the dancefloor. Effortlessly, he led me around the floor in a timeless waltz, keeping me laughing and smiling as he recalled how HE had been taught to dance, telling me of some of the more embarrassing tales. After the fifth dance, he paused in the middle of the floor and just looked into my eyes. Those beautiful, love-filled chocolate eyes…

"Vas," he said softly. "I love you."

I smiled softly and kissed him tenderly, a kiss he gladly returned.

"I love you, too," I answered. Then he got a little nervous, making me look at him curiously.

"Well then… I see no more reason to hesitate," he told me, making me a little nervous as he fiddled with something in his pocket.

"Shinji?" I asked softly. He gave me a nervous smile.

"Well… We've been together for eleven years," he reminded me. "And that's a long time to love someone… Dammit, I'm no poet…"

I gave him a moment to get ahold of himself. A few couples had stopped, hearing him, looking over at us.

"Look, I love you… and I like this life we've started living together," he pressed on, holding my hands in his. "With our house… our unofficial kids…"

I chuckled at that while he managed a wry grin. We both knew how those two would react to being called our children.

"It's wonderful… knowing I get to come home to you every night," he continued after swallowing hard. "And I don't ever want that to change… so…"

My heart skipped a few beats as he slowly knelt, pulling a little black box from his pocket. My hands flew to my mouth, tears stinging my eyes as I realized what was happening. Now all eyes in the room were on us, not that I saw any eyes but his.

"Shinji…" I managed to get out and he gave me another nervous smile and pulled the lid back on the box. Inside was a golden ring. There was no diamond (thank god) but a ruby, shaped like the sun.

"Vasilysa Moreadthiel Amalthia Dragomir… will you marry me?"

"Oh god…" I choked softly, then leapt forward wrapping my arms around his neck. He quickly got to his feet to catch me, catching my kisses and returning them. "Yes. Yes, I will marry you!"

Several couples cheered as we kissed again and he laughed, relief flooding his body, making him relax and just kiss me again and again, spinning me around and around. When he set me down, he slid the ring onto my finger, making me blush lightly.

"It's perfect, Shinji," I told him, making him kiss me tenderly again.

"Take her home, boy," said an older couple nearby, gesturing around us. "We got this."

Shinji thanked them and swung me up into his arms, carrying me out of the room, kisses strung throughout. The gondola ride back didn't even really register, I was so lost in Shinji's eyes, in his kiss…

Gods, I loved this man.

* * *

"WAKE UP!"

Both Shinji and I gasped as Rangiku pounced on us again. I doubted she registered that we were both wearing our birthday suits.

"Come on!" she told us urgently, scampering towards the door. "We're going to be late!"

I giggled and snuggled back into Shinji's arms. He shook his head with a grin and I had a feeling that nothing (and I mean nothing) would be able to spoil his mood today. He slid his arm around my back and pulled me up into a soft kiss.

"Good morning," he greeted me, his chest rumbling with every word, making me shiver in delight. I smiled lovingly and kissed him again.

"It's morning all right," I answered. "Best get a shower and dressed before she comes back."

He grinned.

"Oh, she'd just get an eye-full," he teased. I blushed and slapped his chest, making him laugh.

"She doesn't need to see ANY of that until she's older!" I scolded, though my grin ruined the effectiveness of that statement. He chuckled and stole a quick kiss before forcing himself out of bed. His back was covered in scratches and crescent-shaped cuts from my nails. It almost gave me some serious pride, seeing that… if the hickeys on his chest and neck didn't. I giggled.

"Talk about a marked one," I teased and he grinned at me.

"You're no better," he reminded me, reaching back to pull me out of bed and lead us into the bathroom. I giggled and let him, slipping off the amulets and the ring, setting them on the counter. The necklace and charm soon joined my jewelry as I temped the water and he took his morning leak. After it was warm, we both stepped in. Like usual, we healed away our wounds, leaving no evidence behind. Once we were clean, we dressed, combed our hair, brushed our teeth, and replaced our jewelry. Afterwards, we stepped into the common room where Gin and a very impatient Rangiku waited.

"Shall we get some breakfast?" I asked. The children nodded and I smiled softly, letting Shinji lead us to our next destination. It was a simple street café, but it had everything we needed. Shinji kept stealing kisses, almost reveling in the fact that I was definitely his now. Our new lovey-dovey state had Gin nearly constantly scoffing at us, amused and annoyed at the same time. Rangiku thought it was the sweetest thing she'd ever seen… until she saw the ring. Then she'd squealed so loud I could swear they could hear her for miles. She hugged us both in her excitement and offered her congratulations… as did Gin. We just smiled and accepted them.

After the morning, we made our way to the play we'd wanted to see. It was a comedy, so it was right up Shinji's alley. But it was also a romance, so that made Rangiku happy. I was just happy to sit next to him, to feel his arm around me and his hand holding mine. All these normal actions we'd done before seemed different somehow… almost… more intimate. They were profound and overwhelming at times, often getting us both aroused and forcing us to sneak off into a dark corner or alley to relieve that problem.

Gods, I loved this man. Everything about him made my very soul sing.

"Captain Hirako."

We all stopped and turned around. Behind us knelt a member of the stealth force.

"What is it?" Shinji asked, not pulling his arm from around my waist. "Can't you see my family and I are on vacation?"

"Of course, sir," the man quickly answered, but held out a hell butterfly. "You've been ignoring them… so Yamamoto demanded I deliver this one in person."

I frowned at him.

"Shinji… you've been ignoring your duties?" I asked softly. He gave me an annoyed look before he smiled warmly.

"Didn't want work to ruin this weekend," he replied. I felt my heart warm at his words and smiled back.

"Oh, Shinji…" I sighed, my smile in my voice. Shinji finally let the damned bug land on his finger and heard the message, only to sigh heavily.

"Seems we have to cut this one short again," he told us regretfully. This was not the first time we'd been called back in the middle of vacation.

"That's alright!" Rangiku told him with a big smile. "I got to shop in Italy!"

We chuckled at her and he smiled softly before returning his gaze to the man.

"I got the damned message," he told him. "We'll head back straight away."

The man nodded, then vanished. The four of us headed back to our room and started packing up our things.

"What's it about this time?" I asked softly.

"Strange hollow activity in the Rukon," he answered. "This hollow keeps popping up on the radar for a few seconds, then just disappears… along with several souls."

"Oh my," I replied, worried. "What kind of hollow could do that?"

He shrugged and zipped our bag shut.

"I'm sure Yama is just going to assign a task force to look into it, like all the other times," he assured me. I smiled softly and nodded. We grabbed our bags and stepped out, seeing Gin and Rangiku ready to go as well, poor Gin carrying most of Rangiku's insane shopping bags. I giggled and grabbed a few to help him out, so did Shinji. He gave us both a grateful look but didn't dare say a word lest he upset Rangiku.

Then Shinji opened the passage and we walked back into the soul society, following the four hell butterflies that waited for us. On the other side, we dropped off the gigai at the twelfth (stealing our jewelry back from them and putting it back on), dropped our bags off at home, and then Shinji gave me a swoon-value kiss before leaving for the meeting without changing into his uniform first.

I chuckled and shook my head, going through our bag to put away the clean clothes and put the dirty ones in the laundry. I put all the shower supplies back and put our souvenirs away. Afterwards, I went downstairs to have some tea in the den. Rangiku and Gin joined me shortly after.

"Tea?" I offered. They both nodded and took a glass.

"Do you and Shinji really think of us as family?" Rangiku asked softly. I smiled warmly.

"Honey, we've felt that way for years," I told her. "Both you and Gin are very dear to us."

Rangiku was across that room in seconds, hugging me tight. I smiled softly and hugged her back.

"I felt that way, too," she admitted, pulling back to pick up her tea again. "I've missed having a family."

I smiled softly again and lightly wrapped my arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Gin sat down on the other side of me and snuggled in, making me laugh softly and run my fingers through his hair.

Shinji found us like that when he came home, grumbling about the complete waste of time that meeting had been. But he stopped and smiled when he saw us sitting in the den like that, his eyes warming over as he joined us, sitting down on Rangiku's other side, gladly accepting her hug as he gave me a kiss over her head.

"Complete waste of time again?" I teased, making him sigh dramatically.

"For all the fuss they made, you'd think it would have been something important," he replied, taking a cup for himself. "They ended up assigning the ninth to investigate it. The rest of us really didn't need to be there at all."

I chuckled softly.

"I'm sure they just wanted everyone to be on the same page," I assured him. He grumbled.

"Then just send a damned message, don't ruin my vacation."

Now I laughed. Shinji looked the perfect example of a petulant child that had been denied what he'd wanted. Even Rangiku was giggling at him, which made Shinji slowly roll his eyes towards her, a grin making its way across his face.

"And what are you laughing at?" he asked her, grabbing her and tickling her senseless. She squealed and squirmed, laughing as she tried to get away. After a few minutes of that, when Rangiku was having trouble breathing, he finally let her go. She collapsed against me, trying to get her breath back, still giggling. I chuckled and shook my head.

We really were like a family… and the thought warmed my heart.

"Isn't that women's association thing coming up?" Shinji asked suddenly.

"The party?" I asked, and he nodded. I smiled softly. "Yes, it's nearly here. Mashiro and Yoruichi have been having way too much fun with this. Hm… I'm gonna need a date… might have to ask Kisuke!"

Immediately, I was jerked into Shinji's possessive arms, making me laugh.

"Like hell you're going with Kisuke!" he told me firmly, kissing me to remind me who I belonged to. I giggled and kissed him back.

"I love it when you get all jealous," I teased, stealing another kiss. He grumbled into the kiss, but let me get away with it. "Now, I'm gonna go visit a few friends. I'll be back later. Try not to burn the house down."

He grinned, that expression telling me he just might if it meant I'd get home quicker. I slapped his chest and took my leave, walking down to the eleventh squad. There, I was quickly admitted and I gave greetings to the familiar faces I saw as I searched for one in specific.

Ever since that dare, I'd grown rather fond of and close to Ichinose. He hadn't even been the least bit upset that it had been a dare, saying he was just glad it meant he got to meet me. He was always being so sweet and so kind. He had even come to me for advice when he was trying to get a girl's attention, something that had made me so happy I'd hugged him on the spot, making the poor boy turn bright red.

"Maki!" I called, seeing him. He smiled at me and waved me over. He was relaxing with a few of his friends, a bottle of sake getting passed around. Even the captain was in on it, making me chuckle.

"Did you have a fun vacation?" asked the only girl in squad eleven. I nodded and lightly fingered the ring I now wore. Her eyes danced in amusement. "Finally grew a pair, did he?"

I laughed and nodded, going to accept the glass of sake, only for Maki to take it away, making me pout.

"No sake for you," he told me firmly, this his grin told me he meant nothing bad by it. "Seeing you drunk ONCE was bad enough."

I blushed darkly, recalling how I'd been told I'd acted. Several of the group laughed, recalling that particular incident. Poor Shinji had to come get me after that and had sworn I was never allowed to drink without him ever again. I didn't bother to argue with him during my massive hangover.

"Wouldn't be a good idea for her to drink anyway," the captain noted, glancing at me. That got a few frowns of confusion from his men and from me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"A pregnant woman shouldn't drink," was his reply, making me freeze in shock. My friends were quick to dole out congratulations and I blushed darkly once they registered.

"Ah… excuse me," I said and flashed the to the fourth. I ran into the third seat in seconds and he saw my flustered look.

"What's wrong, miss Kuchiki?" he asked. I was shaking and stammering too much to answer, at least until Unohana appeared.

"Akalia," she greeted warmly. "Can I help you?"

"Am I pregnant?" I blurted out, making me slap my hands on my mouth as I blushed in mortification. Unohana just smiled warmly.

"Come with me," she said and led me to a room. There, she and a new trainee started to run a few tests. With a smile, Unohana looked up at me. "Yes, you are pregnant. About six weeks."

I couldn't decide if I was drowning or floating. Unohana handed me some tea without a word.

"Drink," she told me. "It will help with the shock."

I nodded and dutifully did as she asked. Immediately, I felt the calm coming over me and set the cup aside. Then I hugged Unohana in my excitement, making her chuckle as she hugged me back.

"Thank you, Unohana!" I squealed, then ran out the door. I wanted to tell Shinji, I was so excited… then I remembered everything I HADN'T told Shinji… and got very nervous… and ran to Jushiro instead.

"Akalia," he greeted, surprised by my unexpected visit. His new lieutenant, Kaien, was sitting there as well.

"Ju… I'm pregnant," I said quickly, my voice revealing the worry, guilt, and anguish I was feeling. Kaien's eyes widened in surprise, and a bit of discomfort. Jushiro, however, understood immediately why I was not as happy as I should have been.

"Kaien, will you give us a moment?" he asked. The lieutenant gladly took his leave and Jushiro focused on me. "The child will be like you, won't it?"

I nodded and ran my hand through my hair.

"This is awful… and wonderful… and devastating… and amazing…"

I couldn't even figure out which side of emotions I was feeling more.

"Granted, I'm elated," I admitted. "Shinji and I have wanted kids for a while, but…"

"But once the child is born, your secret will come out," Jushiro finished. I nodded, plopping down on the porch next to him.

"What am I going to do?" I asked, my voice shaken. "My kind can't control their power at birth! They're too young! They'll be condemned just for being born!"

To my shame, tears were pouring down my cheeks.

"Then so will I… and Shinji… oh gods…"

Jushiro pulled me into a warm hug, letting me weep and shake against him.

"Take deep breaths, Vasilysa," he told me softly, gently. Slowly, I regained control of myself. "I think it's time you finally tell Shinji the full truth. It would allow him to understand your worries and share in them. It would also allow him to have an equal say in what you do now to protect them."

I took in a shaky breath and agreed, slowly releasing him.

"I guess… I guess I should," I agreed. After taking a few moments to calm myself, I thanked Jushiro and then slowly made my way home. I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell him all this, pausing frequently to argue with myself. It was past sundown when I finally reached the den where Shinji and Rangiku were playing a card game.

"Where's Gin?" I asked reflexively.

"He said he had to meet with someone," Rangiku answered, glancing up at me. Then she saw my expression. "Oh… I just remembered, I-I needed to get to work early!"

"But you don't even work tonight," Shinji reminded her, confused… until he saw my face as well. Rangiku raced out of the room, leaving us alone.

"Shinji… I… I need to tell you the rest of my secrets," I told him. He could see how badly I was shaking and crossed that room in seconds, pulling me into a comforting hug.

"What brought this immediate decision on?" he asked softly, concerned.

"Something wonderful… and terrible," I answered quickly. "Shinji, I—"

I cut off hearing aloud banging and a raised voice.

"Attention! Emergency Assembly! Emergency Assembly! All squad captains assemble immediately at the squad one barracks! There is an emergency involving squad nine! The spiritual pressure readings for Squad Nine Captain Kensei Muguruma and Lieutenant Mashiro Kuna have vanished! An emergency meeting of all squad captains will soon commence!"

Shinji cursed and kissed me softly.

"We'll have this conversation as soon as I get back," he told me, starting to leave, but I grabbed his arms.

"Shinji, wait!" I pleaded. "My vision, it didn't stop… It got more frequent. I've even started having it during the day. Shinji… it's coming soon, maybe even now!"

That gave him pause.

"I'm begging you, don't go!"

He looked torn and I knew his heart wanted to listen to me, wanted to stay… but I knew his duty wouldn't let him shirk.

"I have to," he told me softly, kissing me again. "I'll be careful… I meant what I said. I won't let that vision of yours come true!"

I kissed him desperately, feeling the sense of foreboding filling me to the brim. As he walked away from me, my heart began to ache.

 _Don't go…_

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. My vision kept coming back, bounding through my skull painfully. Rangiku was doing her best to ease my pain, but we both knew it would not help me. I'm sure, in the sea of gibberish I'd been spouting, she'd gotten the gist of my vision. And I wasn't the only one that was having trouble sleeping. I'd sensed several others throughout the Seireitei that were struggling with their own nagging thoughts.

I knew I would soon lose my mind if I didn't do something… so I went to our room… and went to my soul room, curling up in the wings and claws of Durnehviir, weeping in both terror and deepest guilt.

 _Please let me be wrong… Please don't let it happen tonight… when I can't even fight…_

* * *

 **And the first part begins the descent into the end... Gods, I always hated this part of the story. Made me weep when I wrote it, feeling my own heart wrenching as I knew what was to come... So, as always, please review and let me know what you think. I will continue to publish freely in hopes that you all get the answers you're dying for.**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	18. Total Eclipse of the Heart

The opening of the door the next morning had both Rangiku and I rushing towards it. However, to my greater terror, only Gin had returned. Behind him… was Sosuke and Kaname. Sosuke appeared deeply saddened by something.

"Akalia—"

"Where is he?!" I demanded, frantically cutting Sosuke off as I grabbed the front of his robes. "Where is Shinji?!"

"Akalia… he… he didn't make it," Sosuke told me. I released him in my shock, stumbling back from him.

"Akalia!" Gin and Rangiku said, quickly moving to grab my hands. Quickly, I shook them off, feeling my heart shatter within my breast.

"Stay away!" I commanded them both, instantly causing Gin's eyes to open in alarm… and Rangiku to approach me in pure confusion. "Rangiku, away from me!"

I clutched my head, feeling my blood start to boil. A scream tore from my throat, tore from my very heart, the sound changing to something like an inhuman roar! All around me, my energy fluctuated wildly, turning black with its poison!

"What's happening?!" Rangiku demanded, horrified.

"It can't be!" Sosuke was saying, horror in his own voice. Abruptly, the doors were thrown wide open, a white-haired captain rushing towards me. He wrapped his arms around me tightly as I screamed.

"Not now, Vasilysa!" Jushiro yelled to me, trying to be heard over my roaring. My skin was hardening, the burning spreading through me like a wildfire. "Don't you dare give in! Vasilysa! Who am I?! Tell me my name!"

"Ju… JUSHIRO!"

My monstrous roar was accompanied by another dark pulse of power, nearly causing Rangiku to faint as she looked on in horror.

"Listen to me!" he yelled at me again. "Listen! You told me you can hold off if you had but a powerful reason! Buy that time! If not for yourself, then do it for the two lives you carry!"

"What is he talking about?!" Rangiku was crying. "What is happening to Akalia?!"

Two lives… Children…

"M-my… children…"

Abruptly, all my strength vanished… and I sank into darkness.

* * *

Third Person POV

Everyone in the room was staring at the now unconscious Akalia in Jushiro's arms. Rangiku was in hysterics as Gin struggled to calm her. Sosuke was in pure shock and Tosen… Tosen revealed nothing of his thoughts.

"What just happened?" Sosuke finally asked. Jushiro sighed heavily, laying her down on the couch.

"Akalia… is not a Soul," he answered. "Akalia is a Halfling, born half hollow. I was afraid this would happen the moment I'd been told that Shinji and the others had become hollowfied…"

"What do you mean?" Rangiku asked, finally somewhat calm. Jushiro gave her a sad smile.

"Halflings are only kept sane and human by their hearts, which they can only give away once," he explained to her. "If that heart is broken… it is lost, along with their sanity. A halfling's hollow blood will rise up and devour them, turning them into mindless killing machines… that cannot be stopped easily."

"You told her to hold on," Sosuke prompted.

"A Halfling can postpone the transformation, but only for a time," he explained further, a frown on his features. "Not even she can know how long she'll have when she wakes… but I hope fate is on her side enough for her to carry those babes full term… and raise them for a short time… though I believe that might be far too optimistic."

Jushiro looked down at Akalia sadly.

"Without Shinji to stabilize her… she will die."

* * *

Akalia's POV

The soft sounds of people whispering woke me slowly. Blinking to get used to the sunlight streaming into my room, I saw Gin, Rangiku, and Sosuke by my bed.

"Guys?" I asked, making all three sets of eyes fly to me.

"Akalia!" they all three chorused, rushing over to me. Rangiku was in my arms in seconds and I took a look around. I was in the fourth…

"Sosuke… where is Jushiro?" I asked.

"He told us to bring you here until you woke, to keep your children healthy," he told me. "They were absorbing your reiatsu to the point that you had to be given some."

I smiled ruefully.

"That always happens with my kind," I said softly, realizing they knew my secret now. "That is why we have to stay with those that have energy to spare, to keep them stabilized…"

I slipped open my robe, much to the blush of Sosuke and Gin… until they saw where my heart was.

"What the…" Sosuke said, reaching forward to feel the start of my hollow-hole, a mere pinkie-sized hole at the top of the circle it would soon become.

"That is my timer," I told him. "With every passing day, that hole will grow. When it is fully grown, I will become a hollow… I won't have a choice."

I looked at the bed sadly.

"I need to be alone for a few so I can speak with Ada," I said softly. "I need answers… and only he can provide them."

They all nodded and took their leave, letting me be alone for a while.

"Ada… answer me," I said softly… then waited and listened.

* * *

Third Person POV

Abruptly, three pairs of eyes shot to the door, feeling the spiritual pressure from within vanish completely. All three raced into the room, only to cry out in alarm!

Where their friend had once been, rested two small letters, one addressed to Gin and Rangiku, and the other to Ginrei Kuchiki. Their alarm had summoned Unohana, who quickly handed out the letters and dispatched her third seat to deliver the one to Ginrei.

"Call the twelfth," she said. "I want a full investigation done on her disappearance."

"Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

"I have some troubling news," Yoruichi stated, walking down the ladder to where the ex-captains and ex-lieutenants sat. "The Soul Society was told that all of you were to be killed on sight as you all have become hollows. Sosuke Aizen has taken the Captain's Exam and become the new Captain of Squad 5, Gin his Lieutenant. Tosen has taken his place as the Captain of Squad Nine. And lastly, a great mystery that no one seems able to solve. Akalia Kuchiki… has vanished without a trace. Sosuke, Gin, Rangiku, Ginrei, and Jushiro seem to know something, but none of them are talking to anyone about it."

Shinji's hands were white as he clutched his fists.

"The day you die… so shall my Master." Shinji quoted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" asked Kisuke. Shinji didn't answer and fell to his knees, slamming his fists into the ground, tears slipping down his cheeks. "Shinji!"

"Dammit!" he swore. "DAMMIT!"

His energy began to fluctuate around him so strongly, even the others could feel his grief within it.

"VASILYSA!"

* * *

It had been nearly a year since Akalia had vanished. Gin and Rangiku had continued to live in her home, but kept her and Shinji's room completely off-limits to everyone, the mere sight of it filling them both with grief.

"Gin?" came Rangiku's quiet voice. The boy turned and saw the still unopened letter in her hand. "I… I think it's time…"

Gin sighed and nodded. Slowly, they both sat down on the couch… and started to read.

 _To my beloved children, Gin and Rangiku,_

 _Do not be troubled. I am not gone, not completely. Ada has decided that,_

 _for my own safety, I must leave the Soul Society behind… and this time_

 _as well. I don't know how far into the future he is sending me,_

 _but know that I will find you if I can. He means to send me away from here to_

 _a place and time where my children will be safe to be both born and raised. I tend to trust him._

 _Rangiku, my beloved daughter, you will grow into a stunning young woman._

 _I've seen it. Never lose that love of life that you have or that strong spirit. It is what I cherished most about you._

 _Gin, my dearest son, I know the real reason you are doing everything that you_

 _are. Ada told me. I support you, whole-heartedly. Please be careful_

 _and safe… and remember, your mind is the greatest weapon you have._

 _My home is yours to care for and live in until I return, as I have explained_

 _to Ginrei. I hope I will not be gone long, but if I am, I'm sorry. I never wanted_

 _to leave you like this, never wanted to leave you at all, but with my timer… I suppose the choice is no longer mine._

 _Take care of each other. Support each other, even when their actions don't make sense. I'm counting on you._

 _All my love,_

 _Akalia_

The two kids were dabbing at tears in their eyes, missing the woman they would almost call mother… like a piece of them had vanished with her… and yet, now they felt hope.

Akalia would return.

* * *

100 Years Later

A soft knock on the door caught several pairs of eyes. The knock came again as Tessai opened the door.

"Forgive the hour of this visit, but I am seeking one Kisuke Urahara," came a muffled female voice.

"Of course," he told her, ushering her in out of the rain. She wore a full-body cloak, making it impossible to see her at all, though she was dwarfed by the sheer size of Tessai.

"You were looking for me?" Kisuke asked, looking at the newcomer lazily. There was a soft chuckle.

"You haven't changed a bit, Kisuke," she said, shrugging her hood down. Gasps of shock and disbelief came from both Kisuke and Yoruichi.

"Akalia!"

To Be Continued…

* * *

 **Ah, the ending of the beginning... What will happen now? Shinji believes Vasilysa is dead. Vasilysa WILL die once the timer runs out... but will she have enough time to have her children safely? Will Shinji get to see her again before she dies or will she choose to keep him in the dark? Will Shinji ever meet his family or learn all of her secrets-including those yet to be revealed? Is this the end of their so-called happily ever after?**

...

 **Ok, I'm done being absurdly dramatic. Please let me know how you feel about all this and I'll post as soon as I'm done fixing the next chapter!**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	19. A Whole New Life

A lot had happened since I met Kisuke four months ago. After explaining my situation (every secret I possessed), he had guided me to one Isshin Kurosaki. Isshin had only hesitated for a nano-second, gladly accepting me into his home as soon as he heard my special circumstances.

Who am I? My name was now going to be Vasilysa Kurosaki. Isshin told me he would "adopt" me for cover purposes. To Yuzu and Karin, I had become a dear mother-figure. To Ichigo, I wasn't sure where we stood. We weren't uncomfortable with each other, not at all, but I knew he would never consider me someone like a mom to him. For the most part, Ichigo and I got along swimmingly, especially after he learned he could talk to me about anything going on in his head. That stemmed after a rather embarrassing episode where I'd walked into his room, thinking everyone was gone and I was delivering laundry… only to catch him masturbating to a dirty magazine. He'd been mortified, but I just told him it was much more pleasurable if he used lube and a particular toy. He'd sputtered bright red and I'd laughed, delivering his clothes before taking my leave. A few days after that, I snuck a box to him just before bed and watched him go bright red, realizing I'd got him that specific toy and lube. He was grateful that I'd waited until we were alone.

A few days after that, he'd been needing stitched up after a fight with some more kids over his hair color. Knowing how Isshin would react, I used Kido to heal him before anyone saw the damage. That had opened a lot of questions, ones I gladly answered. He now knew I wasn't normal and that I was NOT his age, contrary to how I appeared. Ichigo had promised to keep my secret as he started revealing a few of his own. He could see spirits and had so many questions about them… questions I gladly answered for him. This was what had really solidified our bond. Fortunately, I was able to avoid telling him anything about the Soul Society, Soul Reapers, and Hollows. Isshin had specifically requested that I never tell Ichigo about that, which I had explained to Ichigo when he asked why I danced around a few of his questions, explaining that I couldn't really answer them by request of his father.

Now I was five and half months pregnant. While I had never mentioned the name of the children's father, it was well known that the ring I still wore on my left hand came from him. I went to school with Ichigo, often covering for him when he was late because of fights or other reasons. In return, he protected me from the cruel intentions of our classmates, save the strange ones that were our friends. My pregnancy got a lot of negative attention from students and teachers alike, the missing father marking me as a slut. To destroy that assumption, Ichigo took a huge burden on his shoulders, defending my honor… which only made people assume HE was the father… which started several red-faced episodes for the poor boy. It was never-ending amusement.

Lately, though, Ichigo had been telling me he'd been seeing more spirits than ever before. That worried me… and sent a new vision ripping through me. Ichigo had just barely caught me as it knocked the wind out of me, blinding me with pain.

 **The house was in shambles, a huge hole blown through it… Yuzu and Karin were missing… and Ichigo… Ichigo was… was he a Soul Reaper?**

I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"Hey!" Ichigo yelled, trying to get my attention, his tone worried. I forced my eyes up to his worried brown ones, having a sense of déjà vu. Those eyes… just like… HIS…

"Sorry," I told him, getting steady once more. "Vision…"

My voice was very low and quiet so that only he would hear. He frowned, knowing by now that those visions of mine always came true.

"What about?" he asked.

"You," I answered. "Ichigo… the stuff I can't tell you… someone else will. It will happen VERY soon. I'll gladly do what I can to help you when it comes… but I can't help you if you don't ask."

Slowly he nodded to my cryptic answer. He knew I didn't like to say precisely what my visions were about when they concerned him… but they always came to pass.

"Alright," he told me, pulling one of my arms around his neck, putting one of his around my waist. "Let's get you to school and we'll go from there."

I nodded with a soft smile and let him help me until my head cleared enough that I could walk on my own. Personally, the news from this morning kept flashing through my mind.

~ _That report sounded like a hollow…_ ~

 **It probably was… not that you can do anything about it right now. Those babes are devouring your reiatsu. You're going to need to speak to Kisuke again about getting a supplement.**

I sighed, knowing he was right.

"Are you better now?" Ichigo asked, his voice tense. I nodded, glancing ahead to see some of the annoying boys that always picked on him.

"I'll go ahead," I told him. "Come find me and I'll heal you."

He nodded and I left him there, letting him walk the rest of the way alone. Abruptly, I heard a howl… and froze in my tracks. Immediately, I searched out Ichigo, unsurprised to see him running TOWARDS the hollow that appeared instead of away. After a few more seconds, I sensed an unfamiliar, but strong spiritual pressure.

~ _A Soul Reaper… must be the one guarding this town… I'll have to leave things to this one… Ichigo… please be safe…_ ~

I then forced my attention on the school as I walked into the building for another grueling day of disapproving stares.

* * *

That night, Ichigo pulled me aside just before bed, pretending to do homework together in his room.

"Earlier today, I saw a weird creature chasing a spirit," he told me.

"White mask?" I asked. He nodded, seeming surprised. "Part of the stuff I can't tell you… but it was a bad thing to come across. Your face says there's more."

"There was a girl," he told me. "She wore a black uniform and used a sword to destroy it."

"I see," I commented softly, thinking about that.

~ _Aw, screw it._ ~

"She was a Soul Reaper," I told him. "I'll let her explain that later on. I have a feeling you will be seeing more of her. That thing she killed is one duty of the Soul Reaper. That thing is called a Hollow. I'll let her explain that one, too. Unfortunately, I won't be able to stay home tonight. I need to go speak to a friend about this pregnancy. I'm not giving off enough reiatsu. I could barely move today… and if this continues, it may cost my life and theirs. I hope he has a solution in all those crazy inventions of his."

"Will you be alright, going out alone?" he asked immediately, concerned. I gave him a soft smile.

"I'll be fine," I assured him. "Even in my weakened state, dealing with a hollow will be child's play."

His face said he didn't believe me and I chuckled, getting up from my seat and walking over. I hugged him softly.

"Don't worry so much," I told him gently. "You've got enough on your plate without worrying about me, hun."

I kissed his cheek, making him blush lightly.

"Now, get some rest," I told him. "I'll see you in the morning."

He spared me a glance, but nodded.

"Good night, Ichigo," I told him, pausing at the door to look back at him. "Love you."

He flushed. I'd teased him with that, but I truly did feel a sort of affection for the boy. I could never love another as I had HIM… but I could still hold others dear to me.

"Yeah, you too," he answered quietly, making me chuckle as I closed the door and made my way downstairs. After checking in on Yuzu and Karin, I took my leave into the night. I stole through the darkness, glad, for once, that my children were devouring my spirit energy. If the hollow I was sensing found me, I knew there was little I could do to defend myself right now.

The streets were winding and empty as I approached the shop. As I softly knocked on the door, I was pleased to see the black cat that decided to sit next to me.

"Hello, Yoruichi," I greeted softly. "I need help."

"I guessed as much," she answered me, her voice decidedly male in this form. "Come inside. Kisuke will be back shortly."

I nodded and walked in, taking a seat. Tessai soon handed me a cup of tea, making me smile.

"Thank you," I told him softly. "You're always so kind, Tessai. You will have a very lucky wife someday."

He blushed lightly and smiled at my praise.

"How are the children today?" he asked. I chuckled.

"Feisty," I answered, then frowned. "They've started taking more energy than I can supply. I nearly fainted twice today."

Tessai placed his hands on either side of my stomach, slowly introducing his own reiatsu to my womb. In moments, I felt the last of my dizziness fade away.

"Thank you," I told him again and he nodded, then left to get me something to eat. Seconds later, Kisuke walked through the door, greeting me with a smile.

"Well, hello Vasilysa," he said, taking a seat next to me. "I take it you're here because it has finally begun?"

I nodded. Thus, Kisuke pulled a device out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a small ring, the size of my finger.

"This gadget is to be worn at all times," he told me. "When you choose a source, this ring will sync up with that person's Spiritual Pressure or reiatsu, allowing you to use it in place of your own to sustain the three of you. The downside is, that person will instead feel the draining effects of this rather than you. Your energy will still be devoured, but you will be able to draw on theirs to supplement your own, allowing you to keep moving at all times and, if necessary, defend yourself."

I thought about that.

"Then I need to choose someone powerful," I stated, realizing what all that entailed. I sighed heavily. "I guess it's finally time to let Gin and Rangiku know I'm back…"

Kisuke frowned, but said nothing.

"I'll head to the Soul Society now," I went on, standing slowly. "I'll just have to hope that the cleaner isn't scheduled today."

The three moved out of my path as I slipped out of my gigai and drew Durnehviir. After taking the ring from Kisuke, I opened the senkaimon.

"See you soon," I told them all, then vanished through it. Luck was on my side, the cleaner nowhere in sight. However, I hurried as much as I could… and came out the other side to drawn swords pointed at me. They all noted my swollen form and watched me carefully.

"Who are you?" one demanded.

"I am Squad Five, Akalia Kuchiki," I answered. "Returning from an extended leave of absence."

That threw them.

"Could someone please fetch my captain?" I asked softly, leaning against the closed doors, shaking as my children sucked more energy from me. "I doubt I can move far in this condition…"

"Yes, ma'am," one said and quickly flashed away. Seconds later, he returned with the last person I expected.

"Sosuke!" I said, openly shocked. He was just as surprised to see me!

"Akalia!" he greeted me, noting my baby-bump. "H-how…"

I shook my head and leapt over, throwing my arms around his neck as I hugged him.

"Oh gods, Sosuke!" I greeted, gladdened when his arms wrapped around me, hugging me back. "I'll explain everything. Please, bring Rangiku and Gin to the house. I'll explain it all there…"

He nodded and flashed us to my front door. I was grateful to find that my key still worked. After I was situated in the den, Sosuke left to get the other two. I didn't have to wait long as the doors slammed open.

"Akalia!" cried the stunning woman Rangiku had become. I felt tears leaking from my eyes at the sight of her as we hugged.

"Rangiku, my beautiful Rangiku… oh how you've grown!" I said softly, pulling back to look at her. "I have missed you terribly!"

"No greeting for me?" came a sly voice. "I'm hurt."

I turned in complete shock as I took in the lanky man before me.

"Gin?!" I asked, shocked. He nodded and I hugged him, too. "Gods… so grown up! When did you get so damned tall? I really need to cut you off at your knees!"

He chuckled and Sosuke just looked on, watching our reunion with a small smile.

"I believe I owe all of you some answers, huh?" I asked. All three nodded. "Well, as I said in my letter, I was sent forward in time. I didn't realize how long until Kisuke told me. Ada sent me 100 years into the future and into the Living World, telling me to find him. After talking with Kisuke, I went and found Isshin Kurosaki. He's been my host for the past three months… and will continue to be. My children, being what they are, will still not be safe here in the soul society. I'm afraid I mean to make the living world my permanent home for now."

"What about…" Rangiku hesitantly asked, gesturing to my heart. I unbuttoned a few, pulling it aside to show her the whole was still growing.

"The best calculations give me three years," I told her. "But I face a new and different problem now."

"What do you mean?" Sosuke asked, concerned. I sighed.

"My children," I reminded him. "They need reiatsu to develop… and they've started devouring more than I am capable of producing. I've nearly fainted twice today alone. I need a supplemental energy… thus Kisuke gave me this."

I held up the ring.

"When infused with energy from a source, it will continue to draw from that source, sustaining both my children and myself… but I'm not sure how badly it will drain them," I explained. "It takes a lot out of me just to move right now… and I'm seeing double a lot… If my children continue to draw from me at this level, it will kill all three of us."

Rangiku was horrified.

"So, you need a reiatsu supplier?" Sosuke summed up, taking the ring from me. I was surprised as he infused it without hesitation.

"Sosuke…"

I was openly touched and grateful. When he handed it back, he placed it on my ring finger, taking note of the engagement ring that still rested there, but saying nothing.

"Thank you," I told him. "I hope the effects aren't that bad…"

He just spared me a small smile.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. I nodded and he offered his hand. "Gin, Rangiku, I'll let you catch up after I have."

The two just nodded and waved us away. I was grateful. Sosuke then offered his hand and I took it, letting him lead me out and into the Seireitei. Several people said hi and waved to him, curious gazes going to me, but no one doing anything more than giving me a greeting. I smiled softly, touched.

"You're so popular," I commented. "Do any of them actually know you?"

He chuckled and chose not to answer, telling me that, no, they didn't.

"And you may as well call me by my real first name, at the least," I said. "It's Vasilysa."

His eyes widened a fraction.

"Vas… that's where your nickname came from?"

I nodded with a pained smile.

"Please… don't… don't bring anything up related to… to HIM…" I pleaded softly, my anguish in my voice. "It's too painful…"

"Of course," he answered immediately, hugging me. "I'm sorry. I should have realized…"

I shook my head with a smile.

"So, what all is new?" I asked, changing the subject. He chuckled, but took the hint.

"Well, we've had a few captains join us," he told me. "Gin is now the captain of Squad Three, Rangiku is the lieutenant of squad 10. Tosen is the captain of squad nine."

I shook my head in wonder.

"You all became captains… wow," I said softly. "I really have missed a lot…"

Sosuke smiled softly.

"Perhaps," he told me. "But the more things change, the more they stay the same. Vasilysa, I still care very deeply about you."

I blushed lightly and smiled in pleasure.

"And I, you," I replied, making him smile warmly. "Have the laws changed much since I left?"

He shook his head immediately.

"Nothing has changed in that regard," he answered me, walking me into our favorite restaurant. I was surprised it was still here, up and running like normal. Inside, many more Soul Reapers greeted him and a few gave me curious looks. Suddenly, a young girl stood up and looked at Sosuke.

"Captain Aizen, who is this?" she asked, her voice kind, though her eyes read me to be competition. I flushed.

"This is an old friend," he replied. "Momo, meet Vasilysa Kuchiki Kurosaki. Vasilysa, meet my Lieutenant, Momo Hinamori."

I smiled warmly at the girl.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I told her warmly and she smiled, relaxing immediately.

"Oh my god!" came a familiar voice. "You're still alive?! What the hell! You should have stayed missing, freak!"

Sosuke immediately reacted, as did his lieutenant. Both aimed dark looks at Cimorene, but she didn't back down.

"What the hell are you doing back here, especially when no one wants you?" she snarled at me. "For god's sake, even your own fiancé became a hollow just to get away from you!"

That was the last straw for several people in the room, which shocked me to no end. Nearly every guy there (and every girl), started verbally (and some physically) attacking Cimorene, making her silence as she was removed from the establishment.

"Sorry about that," one of them apologized. He was fairly cute, but it was the 69 on his cheek that had my attention. "Shuhei Hisagi, Lieutenant of Squad Nine."

I smiled warmly and shook his hand.

"Thanks for standing up for me, Shuhei," I told him. "I wish you hadn't had to, though…"

He smiled reassuringly.

"She needed put in her place," he assured me. "Please don't let it get to you."

I smiled at him and nodded. However, once he'd turned his gaze away, I felt the ache in my heart return. The forbidden subject had been brought up… and it stung.

"Vasilysa, please, let's not let that incident ruin this," Sosuke told me gently and, at his warm, comforting hug, I pushed those thoughts aside.

"You always did have a way of making me happy just by being you, Sosuke," I told him softly, letting him take my hand again and lead me to a table nearby.

"I am glad you still feel that way," he answered, then ordered for us both. It was just like our first date at the festival… and it warmed what was left of my heart. "What do you think of Isshin and his family?"

I giggled and began telling Sosuke some of the stories from my time there, though I left out the more embarrassing ones about Ichigo. Sosuke would laugh in all the right places and shake his head at others. It really made my night, knowing he was showing such emotion just for me. A glance at his Lieutenant told me he did not act so freely as a general rule.

After eating (which he fed me, asking me not to fight him on something he so enjoyed), we took off for a walk around the Seireitei, just like after the festival.

"When will you head back?" he asked me. I sighed.

"I should head back in the morning," I answered. "I have school."

He sighed, but nodded, accepting that.

"I suppose I should not have expected anything less," he told me, stopping at the door to my home. "It has been wonderful to see you again. I have missed you terribly, Vasilysa. I hope to see more of you in the coming years."

I smiled softly.

"As do I, Sosuke," I agreed and hugged him, pulling back to kiss his cheek. "Thank you… for everything."

He smiled and I walked into my home. There, Rangiku and Gin quickly stole me away from the door. We spent the next while catching up. While the two were not official, they were seeing each other, though only in our home. Gin enjoyed watching the other boys fall all over themselves for Rangiku too much to take it public… and he had other reasons he had not yet told her.

After talking with Rangiku for a while, she left to go party with some friends, leaving Gin and I alone, knowing I would be leaving that night instead of in the morning. Gin immediately lost his smile.

"Vasilysa, don't get too close to Aizen," he told me seriously. I frowned, wondering what was bothering him so. "Aizen was the one that turned Shinji and the others into hollows."

My blood froze.

"I… I was there," he admitted, looking ashamed. I sat down hard and covered my mouth with my hands for a few moments, getting a grip on my emotions.

"You couldn't act… because you need Sosuke to trust you…" I remembered. He nodded, though his expression, those sky-blue eyes, were still racked with guilt.

"There is one consolation, though," he told me softly, looking right into my eyes. "They were never killed, any of them. They were never found when Kisuke and the Kido Commander escaped with them and Yoruichi. No one has been able to trace them. They might still be alive."

I felt a spark of hope in my heart.

"Alive… he… he could be… alive?"

It was more than I could ever hope for. Wordlessly, I hugged the boy to me, letting a few tears fall. After a few moments, he hugged me back.

"I'm so sorry," he told me, his voice full of his grief. I shushed him and ran my fingers through his hair as I pulled back to look at him.

"Now don't you apologize," I told him. "You're doing what you must to protect the one you love. Not even Shinji would fault you for that."

It made me smile, watching him lean into my touch, just like he used to. I chuckled softly.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same," I teased and he gave me a half-hearted glare before slipping his eyes shut and just enjoying it.

"I'll give Rangiku props for trying, but she just doesn't do it right," he admitted softly, moving to lay on the couch, his head in my lap. I smiled softly and went back to running my fingers through his hair soothingly. We sat like that for another hour before I decided it was time to go back. I sighed and stood.

"I'll try to keep in better touch," I joked, making him chuckle at me. "Take care of Rangiku. I'll visit again when I can."

He nodded and I opened a senkaimon in my home, walking through it to end up back at Kisuke's. When I saw his face, I knew.

"It has begun… hasn't it?" I asked. He nodded. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I knew it was coming… but I was kind of hoping it wouldn't…"

"We all were," Yoruichi assured me, still in cat form. I sighed again and started heading back home, Kisuke stopping me with a question.

"Sosuke Aizen is your source?"

I glanced back at him.

"He volunteered," I answered. "Took the ring and infused it before I could object. It's working wonderfully. I no longer feel strained."

Kisuke nodded, but said nothing, though his eyes spoke volumes. I sighed and shook my head with a smile.

"Yes, Kisuke, I know," I told him. "I'm well aware of WHY he chose to help… and then Gin said some interesting things…"

I paused, looking away from Kisuke.

"Is it true?" I asked softly. "Did Sosuke do this to Shinji and the others?"

After a few moments of silence, I got my answer from him.

"Yes."

"And they are… alive?"

This time, the silence was even longer.

"Yes," Yoruichi answered me. I sighed, relaxing.

"Thank you," I told them. "For telling me."

"You're not going to ask where they are?" Yoruichi asked, surprised. I shook my head.

"I think… I think it's better this way," I admitted softly. "I got to skip the last century… they were forced to live it… and Shinji…"

I felt the ache in my heart again and reached my hand up to clutch it.

"Shinji's better off thinking I'm dead," I finished. "The turning has already begun… and not even he can stop it… I will die, whether he is there or not. There is no time in history that was ever recorded of a Halfling regaining their heart when it was lost, even with their loved one there."

I closed my eyes in grief.

"I'd rather he never had to see me… like this…"

I didn't even stick around to hear the reply as I took my leave, walking through the streets back to my new home.

"Vasilysa!" Ichigo said, walking up in his new form. I smiled somewhat sadly.

"You're a Soul Reaper," I commented and he smiled sheepishly. "So… my vision did come to pass…"

He looked at me.

"Don't worry about your sisters," I told him. "I'm certain your Soul Reaper friend took care of them."

I took his hand in mine and started walking home.

"Let's just get some rest, Ichigo," I told him softly. "There will be time for more explanations tomorrow, I'm sure."

He nodded and accepted that.

* * *

 **What an interesting (yet boring) way to start out the next chapter, yes? I can only imagine where things will go from here. As always, my dearest readers, I love feedback and appreciate every question and comment you make. Stay tuned for the next chapter!**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	20. Why, Kisuke? Why?

The next morning, I woke up to a ruckus outside.

"It's a miracle!" Isshin said. "Truck plows right into our house and not one of us gets a single scratch!"

"What's more miraculous is that none of us even woke up when it happened," Karin stated.

Glancing out my window, I took note of Ichigo's stare. He was hopelessly confused… I had half a mind to tell him what probably happened, but figured the soul reaper would do it for me. I chuckled and shook my head, stretching. After a few seconds, I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Shortly afterwards, I went down and accepted just some toast. Yuzu was getting used to my picky stomach during my morning sickness. She got so excited when she realized I was starting to show.

"Ready?" Ichigo asked and I nodded, walking to school next to him. As we walked into the school, Ichigo accidently ran into the stunning but airheaded Orihime, knocking her down. Ichigo looked down. "Oh, it's you. Hey, Orihime.

"Oh no!" Orihime said. "I'm sorry!"

Immediately Tatsuki got in Ichigo's face.

"Ichigo! You knocked her down and that's all you can say? What the heck is the matter with you?"

Sorry about that," Ichigo said. "Are you gonna be all right?"

"Y-yes," Orihime answered.

"Here," Ichigo said. I giggled as Orihime over-reacted to how intimidating Ichigo could be.

"What's the matter with her?" he asked as she ran away.

"What can it be?" Tatsuki teased. "Maybe it was your ugly mug! By the way, why are you so late? It's already lunchtime."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Ichigo told her. "I'll tell you later."

When we reached the classroom, Ichigo helped me to my seat and then left to deal with his friends. I was okay with that as I looked over yesterday's homework for errors. I wanted to be a good student. After a few minutes, I got immense amusement as I realized the Soul Reaper that had helped Ichigo was in our class today.

~ _I guess she gave Ichigo more power than she meant to… How amusing._ ~

It was comical, watching her and Ichigo interact. At first glance, I knew this girl and him would grow very close. It amused me greatly.

"Miss Vasilysa?"

I looked up to the teacher.

"Yes, ma'am?" I asked. She gestured for me to come over, so I walked up to her desk.

"Your last test results were outstanding and then some," she told me. "I've sent in a request to have you moved up a grade."

I gave her a soft smile.

"With all due respect, ma'am," I said softly. "I have no desire to skip a grade. I want to stay here… with Ichigo."

Her smile softened her face.

"I understand wanting to be with the father of your baby—"

"Ichigo isn't the father," I corrected her firmly, my smile falling away. "I wish people would stop saying that… I lost their father, lost all contact… and Ichigo's family was generous enough to take care of me, of us, in his stead."

My clenched fists were shaking as I fought my tears. Immediately, I felt a hug. I knew it was unprofessional of a teacher to do this, but I hugged her back anyway.

"I'm sorry," she told me. "I didn't realize… Forgive me."

I gave her a soft smile.

"It's fine," I told her. "Don't worry about it. My reasons for staying here are equally selfish though. If I am asked to move up a grade, I will refuse. I want to stay here. Please understand, ma'am."

"Of course," she told me. "I'll let the principal know I'm withdrawing my request."

"Thank you," I told her warmly. "As it is, I'll be missing a lot of school soon anyway… or forced to bring two crying infants to school with me… so I don't want to skip a level and get too far ahead of myself and overwhelmed."

She nodded, understanding completely.

"Of course," she told me, then let me get back to my schoolwork. After that day ended, I waved goodbye to Ichigo and went to the hospital for overnight observation. The doctor was a Quincy and was very interested in my babies' development, having never even heard of a Halfling until me. Isshin had recommended him just in case his own hands were busy at the time of delivery. I smiled softly and settled in for another long and boring night.

* * *

I was glad when the weekend came. Every day was the same boring routine… but on the weekends, I went to Kisuke's. I loved going over there to help around the store or to help him with his research. I could never tell if he was actually glad of the help or was too polite to tell me to leave.

"So… what's this newest project?" I asked him. "Another attempt to cure hollowfication?"

He nodded, though he looked frustrated with the lack of results. Wordlessly, I put my pen down and walked over, rubbing his shoulders softly.

"Relax, Kisuke," I told him softly. "You'll get there. Might take another hundred years though… but I know you'll be the one to succeed."

His eyes shot to me.

"You've seen it?" he asked. I nodded softly with a smile. That brought him a new wave of determination and relief all at once.

"Course, by that time, they will no longer want to be cured," I commented idly. Yes, I had seen Shinji in that vision… and all the others. They seemed happy and were back in the Soul Society, him, Rose, Lisa, Kensei, and Mashiro. It had warmed my heart to know they would soon be freed of their label and could return to their lives… but… it also brought me great peace to see Shinji smiling so happily… That assured me that he would move on after me…

I gave a soft, sad smile at the thought, lightly rubbing my stomach. Kisuke and Yoruichi had already agreed to be my children's godparents… and knew that, when the change finished, they were to kill me before I could hurt anyone… and take over raising my children. Shinji… Shinji was never to know they were his… or that they existed. I knew it would only bring him pain. As if summoned, the vision I'd seen last night snuck into my mind.

 **Shinji was holding two toddlers, both with blonde hair and blue eyes. His expression was both delighted and pained.**

 **"I missed so much… so much…"**

 **His voice was full of regret as he hugged them close, looking at someone I couldn't see.**

 **"I won't miss another second… Nor will they miss me."**

That was where it had ended, making me wonder just who he was talking to… but knew I'd never find out. While my visions now included sound, they still kept some people in shadows. It was rather annoying… but that vision of Shinji… the amount of regret and sadness in those eyes… I could never allow such a thing to happen to him, thus the reason I had demanded that he never know of our boys. I couldn't bear it.

"Have you found a date for that school dance yet?" asked Yoruichi, grinning at me. I blushed scarlet.

"I have no intention of going," I admitted. "Besides, I—"

"You're also going into heat soon, yes?" Kisuke asked abruptly. My blush darkened as I frowned at him. After telling him what I was, he'd demanded as many answers from me as I was willing to give about my species. I had agreed… and regretted it since. Granted, the information was never used improperly, but having him know about embarrassing things like my heat… There were no words.

"Yes," I answered tensely. "Why?"

"What are you going to do?" he asked. "As you said yourself, you'll 'come on to anything with a cock' and, considering you're in high school, there's a lot of them around."

My blush darkened even more, even though it was a legitimate question. He was grinning, telling me he was enjoying my discomfort.

"I'm just going to deal with it as I did before," I answered. "I still have my toys."

Now Kisuke was blushing, shamelessly imagining just that. The slight tenting of his pants told me he was liking what he was seeing. Feeling a bit malicious, I slid my hand down and palmed that tent, making him choke and look at me in surprise, his eyes wide as his cheeks darkened even more.

"Are you going to fix that?" I teased, then leaned close to his ear and whispered, "Or shall I?"

Kisuke's face was a full-blown tomato and I laughed, only to stop abruptly and look out the door. I pulled my hand away, and released him. I sighed as a strange feeling washed over me, making me hang my head. I knew what this skin-crawling sensation meant.

"I felt it," I commented softly. "The creation of another hollow."

That got Kisuke's attention as I forced myself back to his notes, back to my work. It was silent for a few moments as I felt out the new hollow.

"This soul was not willing…" I went on, keeping my hands absorbed in the condensing of his notes. "I fear this will be the next test for Ichigo… to find out what hollows really are."

Yoruichi jumped into my lap, demanding attention and I gave it to her, resting my hand.

"You can't protect him from everything," she reminded me. "He still has a lot to learn."

I sighed, agreeing.

"Sad, but true," I relented. "I just hope he doesn't get himself killed…"

* * *

When I went back home, I knocked twice on Ichigo's door.

"Come in," he called. I smiled and did so, closing the door behind me.

"How've you been?" I asked softly, sitting next to him on his bed, glancing at his manga. "I've noticed you've been leaving a lot at night… Soul Reaper duties keeping you busy?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a Soul Reaper," he told me grumpily. "It's bad enough that Rukia's trying to tell me to become one. I don't need that from you, too."

I sighed.

"Ichigo… being a Soul Reaper isn't about the job," I told him softly. "It's about using the power you possess to help those that can't help themselves, to protect those around you from harm."

I lightly turned his chin so he was facing me.

"When Rukia gave her powers to you, she also gave her purpose to you," I spelled out. "We're all counting on YOU now to keep us safe."

He sighed in aggravation and looked away from me, just as I knew he would.

"Do you have any questions for me?" I asked softly. After a few moments, I got my answer.

"Where do Hollows come from?" he asked. I hesitated for a moment. "Just tell me what you can."

That relaxed me a bit.

"They come from Hueco Mundo," I answered. "It is where hollows live in abundance… as to how they come to be… I'm afraid you'll learn that answer soon enough."

"A vision?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I felt one being created," I answered, making his eyes widen. "This soul… was not willingly made into one. Ichigo, this soul was forced to become a hollow by another hollow that wants to devour Soul Reapers. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that this hollow chose this soul… because he knew the Soul Reaper he was after would hesitate to kill this hollow."

"Why would you hesitate to kill a hollow?" he asked. "Aren't they evil?"

I frowned deeply.

"Some are," I admitted. "But not all… but that's something you'll have to learn for yourself later… I mean, look at me. Am I evil?"

"But you're only half-hollow, that's not the same!" he objected, making me smile softly.

"Now, if only more Soul Reapers thought as you do, Ichigo," I said softly. "Ichigo…"

I hesitated and he noticed.

"If you have something to say, say it," he told me simply. That was when I sensed the Soul Reaper in his closet. I had to wonder if he knew she was there. Keeping that to myself, I looked him in the eye.

"My checkup is soon," I told him, rubbing my arm self-consciously.

"And you don't want to go alone," he summed up. I nodded immediately, glad he understood. "Yeah, fine. I can take you. When is it?"

"Right after school on Monday," I answered, relaxing completely. "Thank you."

I took his hand in mine, lightly rubbing circles on the back with my thumbs. I half-expected him to yank it away.

"I know I keep asking a lot of you," I admitted. "Especially things that aren't your responsibility… so thank you. If you ever feel that I'm taking too much or that I need to back off, let me know."

"Don't worry about it," he told me, scratching the back of his head, sporting a blush.

"Do you even realize most of our classmates and the teachers think these babies are yours?" I asked, a teasing tone to my voice. His blush darkened.

"So what?" he asked. "Everyone will know when they're born… wait… babies?!"

I laughed at his alarmed expression.

"My visions, Ichigo," I reminded him. "I'm having twin sons."

After a few moments, he relaxed again.

"What will you name them?" he asked. I smiled softly.

"Enra and Yukiya," I answered immediately, feeling another pang in my heart.

Flashback

 _"What would you name them?" I asked absently, pulling on a simple kimono._

 _"Huh?" Shinji asked, his brain not quite in gear this early in the morning. "Name what?"_

 _"Our kids," I answered. He got a soft smile at that. I knew he really wanted kids._

 _"Hm…" he thought aloud. "For a boy… I like the name… Yukiya."_

End Flashback

"Which one… did HE pick?" Ichigo asked, having seen the momentary pain on my face.

"Yukiya," I answered softly, feeling tears prick at my eyes, tears I quickly forced away. As a teenage boy, Ichigo wouldn't understand the comfort I needed right now nor how to deal with his emotions properly, let alone mine.

"I've seen him," I admitted softly, making Ichigo look at me in surprise. "In a vision… him and all of our friends… They're all still alive… and they were all so happy…"

I felt the tears stinging my eyes again.

"H-hey! Don't cry!"

I chuckled as I just leaned into his chest, making him tense.

"Just shut up and hold me," I told him softly. Awkwardly, he did just that, just holding me. It may have been uncomfortable for him, but it was exactly what I needed. The warmth of his body, the soft beating of his heart… it was calming me little by little. The calm also seemed to be calming Ichigo as he relaxed, just letting me rest in his arms. After a while, he even started to lightly rub my back… then I saw the time.

"Time for bed. You should try to get some rest, too."

I went to get up, but felt his arms tighten for a moment.

"You could… stay, if you want…"

His voice was so soft I barely heard him, but it made me smile softly.

"Oh, Ichigo," I said softly, shaking my head. I'm sure he heard how much gratitude was in my voice. "It wouldn't be right… or I would."

Then I leaned up and kissed his cheek before leaving the room.

"Good night, Ichigo," I told him, pausing in the doorway. He was sporting a small blush.

"Goodnight," he answered me, not looking at me as he tried to maintain his nonchalance, making me chuckle.

"You're so cute when you blush," I teased, watching his blush darken as I shut the door behind me. Still giggling, I made my way to my room… and fell fast asleep in moments.

* * *

I woke when I felt the hollow enter Ichigo's room. I blocked out the sound as best I could, forcing my body to relax. I knew he would have it handled and I trusted him… However, once he and Rukia had left, I walked to his room and sat down on his bed to wait. I knew he would be needing some unspoken comfort when he got back.

I was not disappointed. Rukia wasn't with him when he came back, but I partially expected that. However, he was surprised to see me there… and his room as though it had never been damaged at all, as if the hollow had never been here. He said not a word as he sank into his body (which I had placed under the covers like he was asleep). But, then he rolled onto his side, facing me.

"You knew…"

I gave him a sad look.

"I didn't know who," I admitted. "But I knew they were after you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, then sighed. "Don't answer that."

I spared him a small smile and slowly ran my fingers through his hair, meaning to soothe him. It seemed to be working, too, as he just closed his eyes and let me.

"Then… your father…"

"Was once a human soul, yes," I agreed. "It was over four thousand years ago, but yes."

I sighed softly.

"Does your father devour souls?" he asked. I shook my head.

"He devours other hollows," I replied. "Souls of humans have failed to satisfy his hunger for millennia."

That eased something inside him. I smiled softly.

"You needn't worry," I told him softly. "You will never cross paths with my father. He prefers to live in peace and quiet with my mother and my siblings. He has no desire for battle or power… he does not need it. You need never concern yourself with possibly eliminating my family."

He relaxed completely, making me smile and kiss his temple.

"You worry too much," I teased him playfully. "Careful, Ichigo. I might start to think you're getting attached."

He flushed, rolling to face away from me, making me laugh as I returned my hand to his hair.

"You're so cute when you blush," I teased, watching him blush darker, chuckling. "You know, you should try being a bit quieter when you masturbate in the shower."

Immediately, he jerked into an upright position, his face beet-red. I laughed as he sputtered at me.

"Got me all hot and bothered… especially when you groaned my name."

His blush darkened even more in pure mortification. I giggled and grinned at him.

"Maybe next time, I might have to come in there and help you out," I teased further, laughing heartily when he just groaned and pulled the covers over his head, his mortification complete. "Oh, you're so much fun, Ichi. So cute!"

He chose not to answer, just gave a muffled grumble into his pillow.

"What was that?" I asked softly, amused. He leaned his head to the side and spoke clearly.

"You might try being quieter when you're lying in bed at night," he replied. Now I was blushing lightly, but laughing, too.

"Oh lord… you heard that…"

I dissolved into peals of laughter again.

"I'm sorry, Ichi," I told him. "Unfortunately, I'll be doing a lot more of that for a while. I'm going into heat."

Now his burning blush was back, his ears turning red.

"So I apologize ahead of time," I told him. "I don't mean to cause such discomfort."

I chuckled.

"Well, since you're fine, I'm gonna grab a shower and head to bed, okay?" I told him, patting his back. "Goodnight again."

I got a muffled "goodnight" back as I left, making me chuckle. Oh, he was so deliciously innocent… and I knew the hollow in my blood wanted the boy. He was strong, powerful… but he was not mine. He was not my alpha… I didn't think.

Taking a moment outside the door, I sent out my senses lightly, only to get a reality check, my eyes widening.

~ _I stand corrected… No wonder the boy's been having fantasies about me…_ ~

I shook my head, feeling a wave of arousal burn through me, making me groan and scowl.

~ _Damn heat… Damn hollow blood… Now I'm going to be fantasizing about that boy…_ ~

 **He would make a rather bashful lover.**

I snickered at Durnehviir and made my way to my room.

~ _Unfortunately, that boy was still a v-card… and I am not the one that will take that from him. It would be wrong… in so many ways._ ~

I shook my head, forcing my body to my bed. There, I reached down and slid my silken garment aside, lightly sliding my fingers along my folds.

~ _Another unsatisfying night it is…_ ~


	21. Kon and a Visitor from the Dead

The next week passed in a blur. My heat was starting to drive me crazy… beyond crazy… and I knew Ichigo heard me every night. There were several times I'd felt his spiritual pressure fluctuating… as his body responded to my soft cries, soft gasps and whimpers… and I would hear his groans in the shower, his pants… and it would drive me crazy.

I desperately needed more release than toys and my fingers could do. Thus the reason I was, once again, in front of Kisuke's shop. I was so glad it was the weekend and I could get away from Ichigo and his delicious sounds, his sinful scent.

"Welcome back," Kisuke greeted me at the door. He took one look at my face and knew how poorly I was doing. He took my hand and pulled me into the shop, then down the hall and away from the prying ears of Jinta and Ururu. Once in the room I usually used when here, he turned to me. "You're struggling."

"Ichigo's my alpha," I explained quickly, making his eyes widen momentarily.

"I see," he said. "Wouldn't it be easier on you both just to have him sate your heat, then?"

I shook my head immediately.

"I refuse to take a v-card," I replied. "Especially his. It would be wrong."

"As opposed to masturbating to each other on opposite sides of the wall?" teased Yoruichi, walking in. I flushed, realizing she'd been keeping an eye on me. That amused Kisuke.

"Really now?" he teased, grinning. I slapped his chest, making him snicker. "Well then, you're having more trouble being so close to your alpha, aren't you?"

I nodded, still red. I frowned and sighed heavily.

"And he feels the pull even if he doesn't understand it," I pushed on. "However… this boy feels strange to me… I feel like he's an exception to all the rules… I could have sworn I saw a line connecting him to Orihime…"

"That doesn't make sense," Yoruichi stated seriously. "I thought you said Alphas only had ONE Beta…"

"That's the way it's supposed to be," I agreed. "Thus the confusion I feel…"

I shook my head.

"Not that it's going to matter for much longer at this rate," I grumbled darkly. "I've never had to struggle like this… but I've also never been this close to my Alpha without being satisfied by him in some manner… First it was Ulquiorra… Then it was Shinji… I always had someone there that I could use… not this time… and this time… it's not mine to take…"

"He should be the judge of that," Yoruichi told me. I scowled at her.

"He's FIFTEEN!" I objected, my tone scolding. "FIFTEEN, Yoruichi. I'd understand if he was out of the jailbait range, but he's not. That v-card… is not mine to take! It's wrong!"

I shook my head with an aggravated sigh.

"I'm mere seconds away from going to the Soul Society and having Sosuke take care of my heat," I admitted, watching them tense. "But I have school and…"

I felt pain grip my heart again.

"And I couldn't do that to Shinji…" I finished softly. "Another alpha, he could possibly understand if he knew everything… but the man that betrayed him… that would be unforgivable."

I shook my head.

"I just need to stay away from Ichigo for a while…" I stated. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince. I knew damn well that wasn't going to be enough. Ever since things got really serious with Shinji all those years ago, Kouga had promised Shinji he would never lay a hand on me… and he'd meant it. I'd asked… and he still refused. It was driving me batty, this maddening desire inside of me.

"Stay here as long as you need," Kisuke told me, his voice kind. "It will give me ample time to gather data on your baby as well."

"Babies," I corrected him. "My vision showed twin boys. Blonde hair, like their father's… and blue eyes, as mine once were… Enra… and Yukiya… Hirako."

Kisuke nodded and Tessai appeared outside the door.

"Dinner is served," he announced. I smiled softly as we all walked to the dining room to eat. That meal was full of laughter as I told Jinta and Ururu some tales of our younger years, often making Kisuke blush. After dinner, my cell started ringing. I was a bit surprised. It never rang.

"Hello?"

"Vasilysa!" came Yuzu's voice. "Something's wrong with Ichigo… and he won't talk to anyone about it…"

I sighed, realizing my vacation just got cancelled again.

"I'll come right home," I told her. "Just relax, okay? Deep breaths. I'll figure it out, okay?"

I could hear the relief in her voice.

"Okay," she said. "Please hurry."

I sighed as I hung up, though I knew my entire conversation had been heard just by the looks on their faces.

"Guess I'll just be back tomorrow… with no complications, I hope…" I said, trying to make light of what I knew damn well was a bad situation. I knew as soon as I got alone with Ichigo, his instincts would be driving his emotions… I could feel a fight in the wind.

"Good luck," was all Kisuke said as they waved me out the door. With a sigh, I walked back home. Once I arrived, I was met by a very concerned Yuzu.

"He's locked himself in his room," she told me. I gave her a gentle smile.

"Relax," I told her. "I'll see what I can do."

She nodded, trusting me. So, I walked upstairs and knocked on his door.

"It's me," I told him softly. Seconds later, I heard the lock click and I was let in. Once inside, I closed the door behind me and locked it again. Then I walked over and sat on the bed next to him. "Alright… What's going on? You've got Yuzu worried sick."

He was stiff as he focused on anything but me.

"Where were you?" he asked. "I came home from Karin's practice and you were gone."

I mentally groaned.

~ _Here we go…_ ~

"I went to visit a friend and his family, the same friend I visit every weekend," I answered. "We were just finishing supper when Yuzu called."

He relaxed a little at a time.

"His… family?" he repeated. I nodded.

"Yeah," I answered. "Pair of kids, older brother, friend-with-benefits… the works."

He relaxed completely.

"Ichigo… were you… jealous?" I asked softly.

"Of course not!" he answered, scowling at the wall. "I just didn't want Yuzu and Karin to worry about you being gone."

I chuckled and kissed his cheek, startling him.

"Such a good older brother," I teased, then smiled warmly. "Don't get all worked up about me, okay?"

I know he saw the flash of pain on my face.

"I couldn't bring myself to date anyone right now anyway," I finished softly. That registered somewhere inside him, making his eyes soften with a tinge of guilt. I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Wanna get some ice cream?"

He snorted in amusement, making me grin.

"What flavor this time?" he asked as we walked downstairs, both of us retrieving our shoes from the front door.

"Banana and Strawberry!" I answered immediately, licking my lips at him. "Closest thing to tasting you!"

As predicted, he blushed darkly and sputtered, making me laugh heartily.

"You're so much fun, Ichi," I teased and giggled some more as we took our leave, making our way to the nearest restaurant that had both flavors. It was a frequent place of mine, considering they loved serving a pregnant woman and her teenage boyfriend. It made Ichigo blush every time and deny it… until he finally gave up and let them think that. Just made things easier for us both.

"Welcome back, you two," greeted the elderly waitress, handing us two menus as we sat down at our usual table. "Craving something new today?"

I grinned.

"Banana and Strawberry Ice Cream!" I squealed, making her and the cook laugh. Ichigo was hiding a smile. It was really hard on him, all these crazy mood-swings of mine… but he dealt with them okay for a teenager.

"And for you?" she asked Ichigo.

"Chocolate," he answered. She smiled and left to get it for us. I was giggling like a schoolgirl, bouncing in my seat. Finally, Ichigo reached over and put a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to sit still. "You're like a child… geez…"

I giggled.

"I blame these damned hormones," I replied. He shook his head and we ate our ice cream when it came.

"When are you due?" asked a stranger. I smiled warmly.

"Mid-July," I answered. She smiled softly.

"Congratulations, you two," she said, walking away. I giggled at Ichigo's blush as he realized he had, once again, been mistaken for their father.

"Sorry, Ichi," I said softly, still giggling. He just waved it off, the blush on his cheeks darkening. "Are you considering Rukia's request a bit more?"

Slowly, he nodded.

"I can't just sit idly by and watch others get hurt… but I can't just devote myself to complete strangers either," he stated. I smiled softly.

"That answer was one I would expect from you, Ichi," I told him softly, taking a bite. "That will be more than enough. You are Karakura Town's guardian now… and you love this city. I'm sure you'll do swimmingly."

He spared me a soft smile, but said nothing. Then I started thinking.

"Though… if you're up to it… I'd like to teach you a few techniques that would be helpful to you," I told him. Now I had his full attention. "They're techniques of Soul Reapers."

"How do you know so much about them?" he asked. I gave him a soft smile.

"I used to be one of them," I answered. "I stepped down from the position to be a homemaker before…"

I silenced, another wave of pain hitting me. His hand went over to mine, steadying it. The warmth was so welcome that I squeezed it softly… then just let my fingers caress the lines of his palm.

"Technically, there's no way for someone to resign from being a Soul Reaper," I explained further. "In their terms, I just took an extended leave of absence."

"For a hundred years?" Ichigo clarified. I nodded.

"As soon as I got back, I needed to report to my Captain… and he continued my leave for me," I continued, my fingers absently following the veins up his arms as I spoke, my eyes following their trail up to his elbow… then back down to his fingertips again. I could feel his gaze burning me as he watched me, unable to look away.

"What will happen after your children are born?" he asked softly. "Will you go back?"

I shook my head.

"There's a chance they could be Halflings, Ichigo," I reminded him. "They are forbidden by the Soul Society to even exist. The very second they display hollow power, they will be killed… and me as well, for disobeying the law and bringing them into the world. They won't require the knowledge that I am a Halfling myself to doom me to their blades."

That upset him. I could feel it in the change of his pulse.

"Do not be troubled, Ichigo," I told him softly. "I knew it would happen the day I signed up for the academy. I only prayed that it would not happen so soon…"

I looked up and met his eyes with mine.

"Shall we head home and practice?" I asked. He nodded and we left, me paying the bill, much to Ichigo's annoyance. He was just as old-fashioned as his father and hated it when I paid for our meals. It annoyed me a bit, but I understood. It had taken years for Shinji to understand my need for independence. Smiling softly, I then thought of what to teach the boy first… and decided to teach him how to summon spirit ribbons. He would need that skill here in Karakura Town.

* * *

My heat finally went away, much to my relief. Ichigo, I noticed, also seemed to notice the effect, needing to masturbate a hell of a lot less… and not hearing me multiple times every night. It made me blush at the thought of what that poor boy had to endure… I wondered if Isshin had even realized the effect I had on his son.

I was dressing carefully, my uniform no longer fitting so I had to wear a button-up blouse with a modified skirt, made for pregnant women. I was lucky there was a seamstress nearby that could modify the uniform accordingly… at least two parts of it.

"Ready?" Ichigo asked, sitting at the door as he put his shoes on. I nodded, slipping on my own. I knew Rukia would join us at the corner like she always did. She greeted us both with a smile and I gladly walked on one side of Ichigo, Rukia on the other.

"Are you going to stay in class today or will hollows call you away again?" I teased. He shot me a dirty look and I chuckled. "Might want to look into what to do with your body. Claiming your narcoleptic is starting to become monotonous."

Rukia laughed while Ichigo looked downright annoyed.

"N-narcoleptic! Are you serious?!"

"I had to tell them something," I teased, watching him get flustered. He kept shooting me dirty looks the rest of the way to school. The morning was slow and monotonous, but lunchtime offered something new. A skin-tingling sensation went through me and my eyes shot over to one of Ichigo's friends, to Chad. In his hand…

~ _There's a soul in that bird…_ ~

 **A tortured soul. This boy is part of a twisted game.**

~ _It appears Ichigo's next assignment just arrived…_ ~

I paused, sensing the hollow nearby. Soul Reapers couldn't sense hollows in-between worlds… but Halflings can… and I knew where this one was. It was staying close to that bird.

 **Twisted game…**

Durnehviir's reminder made a frown cover my face, but I forced it away when Ichigo caught my eye. I merely nodded to the bird and he understood.

It was at times like this that I really missed being able to use my power. Sosuke had sent me a communication device, something that looked like a cellphone. He used it frequently to check up on me, since he couldn't come in person, nor could I go there. The hollow energy of my children… could be felt for miles when I wasn't borrowing his energy to suppress theirs.

I knew it was wrong, but I was actually jealous of Ichigo, getting to go out and fight like this… but I knew, one swing of my zanpakuto in its released state… and I'd be forced back to the Soul Society for a court martial. I knew Durnehviir would never be well thought of by my co-workers, though I'd met very few of them in the time I'd been in the Soul Society.

"Are you okay, Lysa?" asked Orihime. I jumped at the unexpected intrusion into my thoughts and smiled softly at her and the rest of our friends.

"I'm fine," I answered. "Just a little nauseas. Morning sickness, you see."

She immediately went off on a tangent about numerous things I could try to help with my nausea and I tuned most of it out. That evening, after we got home from school, everyone was in a rush. I quietly slipped upstairs after kissing Ichigo's cheek, which he barely took note of, too curious of the chaos he was seeing. I smiled softly as I began getting my homework done.

"A bit pointless for someone as old as you to be going to school and worrying about such silly things, don't you agree?"

I jumped out of my skin and spun around, nearly falling from the dizziness that had just caused.

"W-what… U-Ulquiorra!"

I was in complete shock as I looked up into the face of the arms that had caught me. It was him… but it wasn't. Where his full mask had once been, now remained but a fraction of a helmet. Black, silky hair framed his face, his eyes their usual, stunning green. Softly, I reached up and cupped his cheek, running my thumb over the dark green tears… and then met his gaze with my own.

"How?" I asked. His expression, ever the same stoic expression… It was definitely him.

"When you screamed for me as I sent you away, I felt a surge of power within myself," he answered. "You restored me completely… and increased my power ten-fold. My once black skin turned white… and I became an outcast even by hollow standards."

I winced, biting my lip, realizing how much trouble I had caused him in saving him that day. My eyes fell to his white-robed chest.

"I was alone… and was part of a tree for the longest time," he went on. "Until a Soul Reaper came and made an offer I could not refuse. In return for my life in the service of his Lord, he could guarantee that I would see my Akalia Sapphirano again."

That got my attention as I looked up into his eyes.

"Gin," I said, just knowing exactly who he meant. He nodded. "You… work for Sosuke."

Again, not a question, but he confirmed it with another nod.

"How are you here?" I asked softly. "I sense nothing from you… and I should."

He showed me a strange bracelet on his arm.

"It hides my spiritual pressure completely," he explained. "It was an invention of one of our numeros."

I nodded, then took a seat as my legs started to ache.

"I do not understand," he told me, looking me over. "You are with child… but you remain unmarked."

I gave a heavy sigh, then gave him the cliff-notes version of events up to this point. When we met Sosuke, when Kit and I had become Soul Reapers, when I had grown close to Kouga, then fell in love with Shinji, Kit's betrayal, Kouga's imprisonment, Kensei's troublesome alpha tendencies, Gin and Rangiku becoming part of our family, Shinji's proposal, the hollowfication incident, my turning (I showed him my hole to confirm it), and my being sent 100 years into the future by Ada. I finished with the notation that Ichigo, the boy who also resided in this home, was another alpha of mine… and how I had struggled deeply against it during my last heat. But I also explained my confusion about the boy, telling the listening hollow about the second beta I sensed for Ichigo, which made no sense.

Through it all, Ulquiorra said nothing, just absorbing the whole story I was telling him. He even took a few moments after I finished speaking to think to himself.

"So… you did not mark him… because he does not know who or what you really are," he summed up. I nodded, watching him take a seat at my desk, turning the chair to face me as he crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap. Ever so proper, he was… always so refined… It often made me wonder if he hadn't been royal blood in his human life… or at least nobility.

"But you have chosen him?" he clarified, taking another glance at my missing heart. "And he is alive or dead?"

"Alive," I answered. "But I don't know where… nor do I think it will matter or make any difference."

"Agreed."

"Small consolation is knowing he will be happy…"

"A vision?"

I nodded sadly, recalling the smiles on their faces again. All my friends… so happy…

"How long do you have?" he asked.

"The best calculations… say I'll see my boys' second birthday," I answered softly. "But not much past that…"

Wordlessly, Ulquiorra pulled me into a hug. While not usually affectionate or kind, he always knew when I needed him to be… and I never turned him away. Instead, I snuggled down, relaxing in his arms, breathing in the scent I once knew so well… A soft ruckus downstairs caught my attention for a moment, but I didn't leave his arms. I didn't ever want to leave him again, my precious Ulquiorra. It had been so long…

"I have missed you so much," I whispered. The slight tightening of his arms told me he heard me.

"And I you," he answered, his voice that stirring gentle he reserved only for me. It warmed my heart to hear it again.

"Don't ever leave me again," I begged softly. "I can't handle it…"

"I won't," he promised. "You have my word. When you have need of me, you only need to call. I will always hear you."

He slid something on my wrist and I smiled, seeing it was another invention, but this one… was infused with his energy. In a way, it bound me to him… and him to me.

"I'll never take it off," I promised. I felt him give a rare smile against my hair before he forced his face neutral again.

"It's late," he commented, pulling my body up his for a moment as he slid back, laying down on my bed, molding me to his side so I could stay in his arms. "Rest. I won't leave until you're asleep."

I smiled softly and kissed his cheek.

"It's so good to have you back, Ulqui," I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder. As expected, he said nothing in return, just held me against the heart that no longer beats.


	22. Damn You, Kisuke!

True to prediction, I woke alone… but I could still smell him, that unique scent that lingered on my sheets. It brought me such joy to see him again.

"Ready for school?" Yuzu called through the door.

"I'm getting up now," I answered, forcing my body out of bed when I did not wish to go… then I saw it… and I smiled.

~ _He knows me so well…_ ~

Hanging on the back of my desk chair… was the sash he had worn on his pants, soaked in his scent. I almost felt giddy like a schoolgirl seeing that. So, as I dressed for the day, I used his sash to hold my hair back, wrapping it around my head softly like a headband, tying it at the back of my neck. Now, I could smell him all day… and feel peace deep within my heart.

"Let's go," Ichigo stated, walking out the door with me. I smiled and practically skipped down the street next to him, making him look at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Lysa!" called Orihime, waving at me. I waved back and skipped over, giving her a hug. She laughed. "Good morning!"

"It's a great morning!" I replied. I knew my soul would be glowing if I went to my Soul Room. Ulquiorra was no Shinji… but he was still very sacred to me.

"What's got you so happy?" asked Tatsuki, making me laugh. "You're glowing like a neon sign!"

"Did you get laid?!" another girl asked. I laughed heartily.

"Goodness no!" I answered. "I just got a visit from a very dear friend, that's all."

They all laughed at me and I just enjoyed it. Nothing could bring me down today, not a damn thing. It was already third period when Rukia finally arrived.

"Good morning!" she greeted, acting all cutesy. "Hi everyone! How are you?

"Oh, hey!" Mizuiro greeted. "Good morning, Rukia."

"Looking lovely as always, Rukia," Keigo greeted.

This isn't like you," Mizuiro stated. "It's almost third period.

"Sorry, something came up," Rukia said cheerfully. "By the way, Ichigo… um… May I steal you for a second?"

"Huh?" Ichigo asked, stepping closer. "What do you want? You wanna talk then let's do it here. Oof!"

Ichigo doubled over as Rukia hit him in the gut. I snickered, but got up, deciding to follow them. I knew she'd know I was there, too.

"Oh, Ichigo!" Rukia said innocently. "What happened? I'd better get you to the nurse's office."

Once outside, she tossed Ichigo a duck-shaped pez dispenser. I giggled, realizing what it was. I laughed even harder when she mentioned wanting to get a bunny. Only after Ichigo swallowed the candy did I sense something wrong. After Ichigo and Rukia left, it was confirmed in my mind. He stretched his muscles… then broke the wall with a single kick! I narrowed my eyes. I knew what he was now. However, rather than let this one make a scene, I saw the kendo instructor approaching him… and leapt down, running towards him.

"Ichigo!" I called, getting his attention. "There you are!"

I took his hand.

"Come on!" I said, pulling him away. "You're going to be late to class!"

Once out of earshot of the old man, I pushed him against the nearest wall.

"I know what you are," I said, getting his attention. "Don't worry, I have no intention of snitching… but it you don't want to end up like your brethren, you'd better be damned good at pretending to be Ichigo. He's going to rely on you a lot."

He seemed wary of me.

"I know you're a mod soul," I finished, watching him tense ever more. "What is your name?"

"I don't have one," he answered finally. I nodded and relaxed, releasing him, taking his hand again.

"Come on," I told him. "Ichigo will be quite pissed if you ruin his attendance record. If you need any guidance, feel free to ask… and I'm calling you Kon. During lunch and after school, we can test your limits, take Ichigo's body for a test run, if you will. Can you contain yourself until then?"

He nodded numbly and I smiled, kissing his cheek, watching a rather lecherous grin cross his face.

"Good," I told him, well aware that his eyes were on my girls. "Behave yourself until then… and you won't have to just look…"

That got his eyes to snap up to mine, that face becoming torn between shock and the promise of many lecherous things to come. I laughed and pulled him up to the classroom without a word.

"Whoa, Ichigo!" Keigo greeted, surprised to see him walking with his hand in mine. "Are you two-timing Rukia now?"

I laughed.

"He was never with Rukia," I answered calmly, though I saw Kon grin at the idea and leaned over. "Less like you, more like him, Kon. Keep that in mind, please. Feel free to be yourself when we're no longer at school, okay?"

He nodded and fixed his expression a bit. I relaxed with a smile. True to my word, when lunch came, I took him out to the track and field.

"What part of you was modified, or do you know?" I asked. Immediately, he tapped his legs and I chuckled. "I can't use any of my spiritual energy right now, so I won't be able to keep up with you. Take a few laps. Let's see what you can do! Run, jump, just have fun!"

He grinned and did just that. His speed and jumping height were phenomenal! I was swept up watching him move.

"Wow…" I commented, when he paused near me, tensing up a bit.

"What the hell was that?" Ichigo asked, Rukia staring hard at Kon. I frowned at her, but smiled at Ichigo.

"It would seem that you bought a great treasure," I told Ichigo. "With a tragic backstory."

That got his attention.

"Kon is a mod soul, a creation of the Soul Society during project Spearhead," I explained. "The idea was the reanimate the dead to fight hollows since there aren't enough Soul Reapers to be everywhere at once. Unfortunately for those modified souls, the Soul Society ruled project Spearhead to be against nature and demanded that all mod souls be destroyed. A few slipped away, like Kon here. The same day he was created… he was given a death sentence."

"That's horrible!" Ichigo stated, his tone and expression disgusted.

"And he must be turned in to the Soul Society," Rukia began, only for me to step between her and Kon. Seconds later, so did Ichigo.

"Never," I told her. "I believe Ichigo and I are more than satisfied with your purchase. Besides, you wanted a soul to take Ichigo's body when he's out doing his Soul Reaper duties, yes? Now you have one, and a damned good one, I might add. Ichigo can't be in two places at once. As long as Kon doesn't cause damage to Ichigo's body, I see no reason to condemn him for something he could not control."

I knew right then that Rukia did not like me. It was in her eyes. She hated that I was stopping her from obeying the law, as her duty demanded… but I couldn't let her take Kon. I turned my pleading gaze to Ichigo and I saw his eyes soften.

"I agree," Ichigo spoke up. "Besides, I'm sure there are more hollows around town. Kon?"

The mod soul looked at Ichigo. His eyes spoke volumes of his confusion and gratitude.

"Hang onto my body for a while longer," he told him, surprising him yet again. "I imagine it's been a while for you. Take the rest of the school day… Just don't do irreparable damage to my reputation, okay?"

Kon nodded and Ichigo dragged Rukia away, her sputter protests the whole time. I turned to Kon with a smile.

"Want to run some more or would you rather eat?" I asked, holding up the lunches Yuzu had packed for us. He gave me a warm smile and took his.

"Thanks… for standing up for me," he told me. I kissed his cheek, enjoying the light tinting as his smile turned to a grin.

"It's a pleasure, Kon," I assured him, then took his hand and led him to the roof to eat. It was fun watching his face light up at different tastes, almost like watching a child. "You're too cute."

That got another blush from him, making me laugh… then start to think.

"We'll have to find you a place to hide when Ichigo isn't using you," I commented, getting an idea. He didn't like that grin on my face. "I have an idea… and all the girls will love you!"

That made him light up like Christmas had come early. Then I grinned.

"Though, you'll find it less pleasant, I imagine," I told him. He got wary of me again, making me laugh at his face. "Gods, you're gonna be so much fun!"

I laughed again and then pulled him back to class to finish the day. At the ending bell, Ichigo met us right outside, only for me to catch sight of Kisuke. As soon as his cane headed for Kon, I caught his pill as it exited before Kisuke could take it.

"I need that back," he told me firmly. I shook my head at him.

"You can't have him," I replied.

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed.

"Is it customary for you to confiscate merchandise that has already been paid for?" Rukia asked him, making Kisuke uncomfortable. "Besides, you'll find we are very satisfied with our purchase."

"And we will deal with the trouble as it comes," I finished, my expression letting him know he was NOT going to win this one. So, Kisuke sighed.

"Very well," he told us. "Enjoy your package."

Then he, Ururu, Jinta, and Tessai left, Jinta complaining the whole time about how he didn't get to battle. I just shook my head and smiled at the pill in my hand.

"You guys head home," I told them. "I'll be along shortly. I need to buy something."

They nodded and I took my leave. On the way, I saw a garage sale. There, I spotted the cutest little plush lion!

~ _It's perfect!_ ~

 **Kon's going to kill you.**

The amusement in his voice only served to make me giggle as I paid the little girl for her old toy. I waited until we got home before I pushed the pill in its mouth. A few moments later, Kon looked up at me.

"W-why are you bigger?" he asked. I chuckled and pointed to the mirror, making him scream like a little girl when he saw himself. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

I laughed heartily as he carried on. Then, I decided it was time to get out of my uniform. Shortly after I started undressing, Kon fell silent, his eyes devouring every inch of skin I was exposing. I chuckled at him, noting the near whimper when my peach, lacy bra came into view as I changed shirts into something more comfortable. Then I stripped away the skirt, letting him have full view of my silken bikini underwear as I changed into a pair of loose-fitting pants. Only after did I sit down on the bed next to him.

"Worth getting turned into a plush toy?" I teased, wondering how on earth a toy could get a nosebleed. I grabbed a few tissues and started cleaning it up, amused to no end at his inability to speak.

"They are like heavenly golden mounds…" he said finally, his voice all airy and dreamy. I laughed softly and ran a nail down the side of his face, enjoying the little shiver that went through him.

"Tell you what," I began, a teasing tone to my voice. "Behave well for Ichigo… and I'll let you HELP me dress when you're in his body."

The nosebleed that had finally stopped came back full-force as he looked like he was gonna die and go to heaven. I laughed again and went to my desk, pulling out my homework.

"All these nosebleeds… I'm starting to think you've never actually seen a pair of breasts," I teased him, making him blush darkly. "Were you a virgin before you were modified, Kon?"

His blush darkened.

"Absolutely not!" he answered immediately, making me laugh.

"Liar," I stated, making him flush. "Virgins are so cute… You all blush so easy."

"Are you really pregnant?" he asked, looking at my stomach. "Is Ichigo really—"

"He is not," I cut him off, feeling an ache in my heart. "Their father…"

I paused, my hand going to my heart, the pain making me wince.

"Their father and I… lost contact… and I left," I explained. "I… I couldn't have my babies in the Soul Society. They could be just like me, born Halflings, half-hollow."

That startled Kon.

"The moment they are born, they… and I… will be condemned to die, just for existing," I went on. "They were not safe there… so Isshin and his family took me in. Ichigo lets our classmates think these babes are his if only to spare my fading heart more ache."

"Fading heart?" he repeated slowly. I sighed and turned to face him, unbuttoning my shirt to show him the hole where my heart was. His eyes widened.

"A Halfling can only love once," I explained. "If their heart is broken, their hollow blood rises up and devours them, turning them into mindless killing machines, far worse than any normal hollow. At least a hollow is capable of thought and feeling. What we become… is nothing more than an empty shell with mountains of power and a thirst to destroy everything around us. I should have turned the instant my heart was broken… but I managed to buy myself some time for the sake of my children… but even the best calculations only give me until after the boys turn two."

I buttoned my shirt back up.

"When I turn, I already have people sworn to run me through… to kill me before I can hurt anyone…" I finished quietly, looking at my lap. "I'd never forgive myself if I did…"

Kon was silent for a while, letting me focus on my math.

"You chose to love him… their father?" he asked. I nodded, clenching my fist.

"And he was taken from me… through the betrayal of someone I thought of as my best friend," I revealed. "No, he is not dead… but even if he did return to me, it's too late now. Once the turning has begun… nothing can stop it."

Abruptly, I felt him jump to my lap and give me as much of a hug as he could in his small form. With tears sliding down my face, I gladly accepted the comfort he was willing to give.

* * *

Tomorrow. It would be tomorrow.

I saw it in the whole family as the hour drew near, Ichigo especially. He began to distance himself from everyone… I knew it was making Rukia worried, but I figured it wasn't my place to say anything. I felt out of place in this moment, so very out of place… So I left to stay with Kisuke this morning, meaning to stay until the day after tomorrow. Fortunately, he said not a word and just let me in. I helped Tessai stock shelves as much as I could, though he would rather I'd just take it easy. Considering I was carrying twins, I could have them any day now, though I wasn't due for another month.

"Do you want anything?" asked Tessai, seeing me relaxing in my room, looking out at the night sky. I shook my head.

"No, thank you," I answered with a soft smile. "If I find I do need something, I know where the kitchen is. I'll clean up after myself and everything."

He spared me a small smile, then let it fall, making me frown.

"Tessai… what's bothering you?" I asked him softly.

"I don't think what you've asked Kisuke and Yoruichi to do to Shinji is the right choice," he vocalized. "He should KNOW he has children, that you are alive—"

"So he can go through the pain of losing me again, living each and every day knowing I will become a monster that must be destroyed?" I cut him off. His expression wavered, knowing I was right about that being cruel… but… "I know you have only the best at heart, Tessai… but losing me once for a hundred years was bad enough… I cannot be cruel and ask him to go through that agony a second time, though I know he would without hesitation."

I paused, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Please understand, Tessai," I said softly. "I'm doing this… BECAUSE I love him…"

Finally, he sighed and nodded, letting the matter drop. Shortly after he left, my phone began to ring. Smiling softly, I picked it up and answered.

"Hello?" I greeted, wondering who could be calling me.

"You seem in low spirits. Are you mourning with the family?"

"Sosuke!" I said cheerfully. Though I knew he betrayed Shinji… I could not find it in my heart to hate him. I was always glad to hear from him. "No, I'm not mourning that… I just… got confronted by a choice I made that someone else really didn't like… and it wasn't an easy decision to make."

"I see."

Sosuke was never one to press for answers when he knew I didn't want to give them.

"Also, thank you for finding Ulquiorra!" I said suddenly, remembering. "That was the best gift you could have given me!"

He chuckled.

"Yes," he agreed. "Gin mentioned you would enjoy that. I'm assuming that Ulquiorra is very dear to you?"

"He raised Kit and I," I answered, realizing I hadn't told Sosuke anything about him. "He is very dear to me. I don't know how to thank you for finding him and giving him a better life. Actually, I don't know how to thank you for a lot of things you've done for me…"

I fell silent, realizing just how badly I'd been taking advantage of him.

"I'm actually starting to feel like a real bitch, looking back now…" I commented ruefully, only to pause as he chuckled.

"Don't let it trouble you," he assured me. "Your joy was more than enough, as well as your trust in me."

I got a wry smile.

"This coming from a man that says trust is a waste of time and effort for the powerful," I teased, making him chuckle again. Then I got serious. "Sosuke… how have you been doing? I know I've been taking a lot of energy from you…"

"I'm fine," he assured me. "I've hardly missed it."

"Have so much to spare?" I teased, getting another chuckle. "Do you want me to call you when it's time?"

"I would very much like to be there, as I'm sure Rangiku and Gin would as well," he replied, his voice kind and gentle, telling me the choice was truly mine to make. I relaxed.

"I would feel much better with you here," I admitted. I could practically hear him smile.

"Then I will be there," he assured me. "Maybe not precisely when it happens, as I assume you'll have a large crowd to deal with as is, but I will come a bit later."

~ _Not quite what I wanted… but I can understand._ ~

"Thank you," I told him warmly. "I really can always count on you…"

"And you always will be able to," he assured me. "I'm afraid I must let you go, but I will check in with you soon."

"Of course," I agreed, smiling softly. "I always look forward to hearing from you. Until next time, Sosuke."

"Until then, Vasilysa," he answered, then hung up. I smiled softly and put my phone away. After a few moments, I sighed and forced myself out of my room and went to find Kisuke. I was unsurprised to see him tinkering on a new invention, making me smile softly.

"Need a hand?" I asked him. He smiled and had me come stand just in front of him.

"Take a look," he said, gesturing to the microscope. "What do you see?"

I pulled my hair aside and looked down. After a few moments, I smiled softly, looking back at Kisuke.

"Mitosis stage four, why?" I asked. He smiled, seeming somewhat proud that I knew that.

"I've been studying the hollowfication, trying to find a way to cure it," he told me. "What I've learned, is there is no cure… only ways to control it and treat it."

"So… Shinji and the others… will always be half-hollow now?" I summed up. He nodded, looking frustrated. "Kisuke, remember what I told you."

He gave me an exasperated smile.

"Heard you talking to Aizen," he said suddenly, getting serious. I rolled my eyes, knowing why Kisuke was bringing it up. He didn't like that I still talked to him any more than anyone else he betrayed did. "I've noticed that you continue not to tell him they are alive."

"Not his concern," I answered. "Sosuke doesn't need to know everything."

"Yet you told Ulquiorra everything," he pointed out. "Will he not just report all he learns to Aizen?"

I frowned.

"I cannot control what Ulquiorra does with the information," I reminded him. "But I will not hide the truth from someone I dearly love. He was no Shinji, but I still loved him dearly. He deserves answers, not questions, Kisuke."

"Then shouldn't Shinji as well?"

I froze.

"Ulquiorra knows you will die now," Kisuke went on, his voice firm and gentle all at the same time. "You're letting him feel the pain of losing you twice over, even letting him KNOW when it will come and how it will happen. You're letting him live and breathe the truth… so why won't you do the same courtesy for Shinji?"

"Dammit, Kisuke!" I swore, rounding on him. "I've made my decision on that number! And you know damn well why! Stop this now! He doesn't need this on top of everything else he's going through right now! Gods bless it! Just drop it and leave it alone already!"

"I will not," he told me firmly, keeping his voice level. "He deserves the truth, even more than Ulquiorra does."

"So you would make him suffer ten-fold?" I demanded crossly. "Are you truly that heartless?"

"Am I truly the one that's being heartless?" he shot back, before leaving me to my thoughts, making me throw the nearest item to me against the wall in vexation. I knew I'd have to pay to replace it as it shattered… but I just couldn't bring myself to care.

"DAMMIT!"

* * *

Third Person POV

After Vasilysa went to sleep, Yoruichi approached Kisuke.

"She's not budging, is she?"

The man shook his head.

"She's bound and determined to keep this from him," he replied. "I just can't seem to get through to her…"

"Then maybe we should take matters into our own hands and tell them ourselves," she suggested. "They deserve to know, especially Shinji."

"She'll never forgive us."

"I can live with that."

Elsewhere, Two Days Later

"We got a message from Kisuke!" called out Mashiro, waving it in her hand. No one was really that interested. "And it has some interesting information for Shinji."

That got some mild interest.

"Something about a Miss Dragomir—"

In seconds, the note was snatched from her hand as the blonde quickly scanned it, only for his face to tighten, his hands clenching the paper so tightly it was threatening to tear. He started to shake, mainly in fury, but also despair.

"That… bastard…"

The words cut out of him through clenched teeth as he crumpled the paper. He said not another word, just vanished in a flash. Curious, several pairs of hands went to the note and uncrumpled it.

"Dear Shinji," read Mashiro loudly. "I do regret keeping a single secret from you, but it was on behalf of the one it is about. Miss Dragomir is alive… and living in… Karakura Town?!"

Mashiro was baffled but Hiyori, dearest Hiyori, was filled with fury.

"Kisuke! That bastard!" she roared before pulling out her sword and starting to demolish the area around them. The rest of the Visords were confused.

"Why is he a bastard?" asked Lisa carefully. This was a whole new level of fury from Hiyori they had never seen. Hiyori put her sword down, her shoulders slumping.

"That's inhumanly cruel, getting Shinji's hopes up like that," she said darkly. "Miss Dragomir… is the one we knew… as Akalia Kuchiki."

* * *

 **Dun Dun Dun...**

 **And things take a turn for the interesting. Will Shinji find her? Will he believe Kisuke? Will Vasilysa ever forgive Kisuke for interfering? Wow, this chapter was emotional... Stay tuned for even more emotional roller coaster rides!**

 **Viper-Sindel**

 **P.S.**

 **Reviews are wonderful things!**


	23. Enra and Yukiya

June 19th

Vasilysa's POV

I was talking and laughing with Tatsuki and Orihime, the three of us comparing notes on the latest article about the newest romance film. I firmly believed the main character was NOT hot enough to play the part. Orihime and Tatsuki thought he was dreamy.

"—and I'm telling you, they could have—OH GOD!"

I cut off, feeling and hearing the water splash to the pavement beneath me. Immediately, both women's eyes widened, every woman knowing what that meant.

"ICHIGO!" we all three cried, causing him to whip around the corner to us. I put my hand on my abdomen.

"Call your dad," I told him quickly. "My water just broke!"

His eyes widened… but he quickly brushed it off and pulled out his phone.

"Oh god…" I groaned, feeling the first contraction hit. It was mild, like a cramp during PMS, but I remembered Isshin warning me they would get progressively worse. Meanwhile, nearly every girl in our class was coming over to me, making a shield around me so I could change out of my soaked undies and skirt and into clean, dry ones (provided by one of my classmates). They were also doing their damndest to keep me calm while we waited for Isshin to arrive. Tatsuki had my hand, letting me clench it every time a contraction hit which, thankfully, was not very often just yet.

Quickly, I pulled out my phone and sent out a text to Sosuke and Kisuke, letting them know what was happening. I then sent a bit of energy and thought through the bracelet from Ulquiorra, letting him know it was time as well. I soon got back a wave of soothing energy which made me smile, despite the pain of another contraction ripping through me. I sent him a bit of my gratitude, though it got cut off with another wave of pain that I didn't mean to send. I got amusement and another bit of soothing back.

"Good work," Isshin told the girls, getting them to step aside. There was a gurney next to him. "There's an ambulance waiting to take you to the hospital."

I nodded and he helped me onto the gurney, wincing and groaning as another contraction hit.

"How close together are they?" he asked me.

"S-six minutes," I answered, making his eyes widen. "Oh gods… I may not make it to the hospital, Isshin!"

Immediately, his helpers sat me up and he put a shot right into my spine. In moments, I couldn't feel anything from just below my breasts down, surprising me. As they laid me down, they began an IV while the gurney got loaded into the ambulance.

"This should slow the contractions," he assured me. "And you're having a C-section, so we don't want you fully dilated. Just breathe, kiddo. Just breathe."

So, I did as asked.

* * *

Four hours later, I was finally out of surgery and in my room, getting to hold my babies for the first time.

"They're so tiny," I said softly, cradling them to me.

"What are their names?" asked Isshin, ready to take them down.

"Enra and Yukiya Hirako," Ichigo and I chorused, much to the surprise of his family. I chuckled.

"I told him a while back," I explained. Isshin smiled and then left to get some more paperwork done. After he left, there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in!"

"Aww!" Yoruichi said, swooping in to look at the babes. I smiled and held out Enra to her, which she gladly took. I handed Yukiya to Kisuke, making him look nervous. I giggled, getting a dirty look from the older man.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"You're holding Yukiya," I answered. "She's holding Enra."

That made them smile softly.

"They're perfect names," they told me. I smiled softly, very tired and relieved that things went off without a hitch. Then I saw Kisuke's cheek. It was very dark from a recent bruise. I frowned but, before I could ask about it, Enra started crying.

"Here," I said, holding my hands out.

"Feeding time?" Yoruichi asked, handing him to me. Kisuke, wisely, looked elsewhere as I got Enra attached. I smiled softly, wincing at first. Isshin had warned me that nursing would hurt the first few times until I got used to it. He'd been right.

"What are you going to do about school?" she asked me. I smiled softly.

"I have the next two weeks off to recover," I answered. "Then I have special permissions to bring them to school with me until they're old enough for daycare, age one and a half."

She nodded, noting that both boys were born with full heads of bright, blonde hair, just like their father's.

"There's so much of HIM in them," I said softly, a bit sadly.

"Definitely the hair," Kisuke joked, making me chuckle. "Mind if I get a picture?"

I shrugged and held both of my boys, Yoruichi slipping out of the picture before he took it, making me chuckle at his light blush, realizing Enra had been attached to my tit at the time.

That's when I felt it. I tensed immediately and so did Kisuke and Yoruichi. A very tense, very loud knock came on the door. I didn't even need to look over to see the disbelieving and furious face of Hiyori Sarugaki.

"Hiyori…" I greeted softly, somewhat worried… then puzzled it out and glared at Kisuke. "How _dare_ you! I _told_ you not to tell him!"

"You're lucky Shinji didn't believe him," Hiyori snapped, only keeping her voice calm for the benefit of my babes as she forced her feet forward, towards the bed. One look at the babes and her eyes widened, then narrowed at me. "Explain."

"Ichigo, let's give them some space," Kisuke said, taking hold of his collar and pulling him out of the room. Yuzu and Karin went with, seeming to understand the unspoken command. I sighed, once it was just her and me.

"Wanna hold Yukiya?" I asked softly. After a bit of fidgeting, Hiyori nodded uncomfortably.

"This doesn't mean I've forgiven you for doing this to Shinji," she told me crossly, but took the baby. I corrected her hold once and she relaxed moments later, looking down into his eyes. Her face softened, an expression I had not seen on her face except twice.

"I found out I was pregnant the day that incident happened," I began to explain. "I wanted to tell Shinji, but he got called to the emergency captain's meeting… and then I never got the chance…"

I sighed and pulled aside my shirt to show her the hole.

"What the hell?!"

"I was born half-hollow," I continued. "When I gave my whole heart to Shinji, it shattered when I thought he was dead. I was told he was… and nearly hollowfied myself… This hole is my timer. When it reaches its full size, I will become a mindless killing machine, not at all like a normal hollow and much harder to kill, as all Halflings do when they lose their hearts. I only have roughly two years left…"

I paused.

"I knew I was dying and knew my children could also be half-hollow… so I left the Soul Society," I pressed on. "My Ada took things a step further and sent me 100 years into the future."

Her eyes widened for a moment.

"When you vanished!" she said. I nodded.

"I haven't told Shinji I was alive or here or even pregnant… because I couldn't bear to—"

"Put him through the pain of losing you again," she finished. I nodded sadly.

"Once a turning starts, it cannot be stopped… or at least it has never done so ever before," I added. "And I couldn't ask Shinji to watch that nor be there when it happened."

She sighed.

"You're an idiot," she told me. "A real special kind of stupid."

I laughed softly.

"What a Hiyori response," I teased. She rolled her eyes, barely resisting the urge to hit me.

"He's going to find out," she told me simply.

"And I'll deal with the repercussions when that time comes if I'm still here to do so," I replied. She gave me a hard to read look for a few moments, then looked away.

"Your secret's safe with me," she told me. "I'll let that stubborn ass find out on his own."

I smiled softly.

"Thanks, Hiyori," I told her.

"Che, don't thank me," she snapped. "I'm doing this for Shinji, not for you."

"I understand," I told her, then frowned softly. "Have you… have you managed to come to terms with that night?"

"We're in control, if that's what you mean," she answered. "We'd all love a piece of Aizen, too."

"Yes… Gin told me," I admitted, surprising her. "He told me it was Sosuke that did this…"

She scowled, then handed me Yukiya.

"What's the other's name?" she asked.

"Enra," I answered softly.

"You'd best take damn good care of them," she told me shortly.

"I will," I promised. She spared the two babes another soft look before taking her leave. Once she was gone, I gave a huge sigh of relief and relaxed. Ichigo, Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin came back in, but Yoruichi and Kisuke were nowhere to be found.

"They left," Isshin explained at my curious look. I nodded, accepting that. Enra finished eating and Yukiya then latched on, eating his fill.

"Who was that girl?" asked Ichigo. I gave him a worn smile.

"An old friend," I answered softly. "One I never thought I'd see again."

"A friend of HIS?" he asked cryptically. I nodded softly, sadly. Shortly after, Rukia came into the room, followed by nearly half the girls in our class. I laughed and chatted with them for a while, letting them coo over my babies, holding them and passing them around. I was very exhausted when they finally left. Shortly after, Isshin took his own family home, telling me he'd check on me in the morning. I smiled softly and nodded, holding my babies as they slowly went to sleep. Then the nurses came in and put them in their little bassinettes, given to me by friends at my baby shower last month. I smiled softly, then let myself drift off to sleep.

* * *

Third Person POV

"Was it her?" asked Lisa as soon as Hiyori appeared. Hiyori gave a small nod. That brought some relief and even more questions to the group. "How is she?"

"She just had twin boys," Hiyori stated calmly, shocking the group again. "She'll be in the hospital for a while."

"Whose kids?" asked Rose.

"Shinji's," Hiyori answered, confusing them. "She was sent forward in time 100 years."

That caused more questioning eyebrows.

"She also was removed from the Soul Society and can't go back now," Hiyori stated. "Kit hadn't lied when he claimed she was half-hollow. You could feel that a mile away."

"Why hasn't she sought out Shinji?" asked Lisa. "Surely Kisuke told her he was alive."

Hiyori now got a dark look.

"Because… she can't bear to hurt him again," was the answer. "Her hollow blood is devouring her. She only has two years… before she's gone. She'll have to be killed as soon as she finishes turning… and once a turning starts… there's no known way to stop it."

They all fell silent, absorbing that, their hearts growing heavy with grief.

"What will happen… to the boys… when she dies?" asked Hachi carefully.

"I didn't ask," was the reply. "If you want to visit, she'll be there for a while. I don't know where she's staying after that."

"The boys, do they look like—"

"They look like Shinji," Hiyori stated. "Even born with a full head of blonde hair."

That got a few smiles, imagining just that. Suddenly, a familiar energy entered the place and they all quickly changed the subject, finding other things to do.

"Finally back, baldie?" asked Hiyori. Shinji rolled his eyes at her and said nothing. That was upsetting. Now, he was going to be all depressed again.

* * *

Vasilysa's POV

Hiyori came back nearly every day I was there, came just to hold my boys. She rarely spoke a word to me, which I knew was deserved. As promised, Sosuke had come nearly every night, just to see us. The boys knew him the moment they sensed his reiatsu, the same one they had been feeding on for months. Thus, they cozied up to him quick enough. Gin and Rangiku were only able to come twice, as Rangiku's captain was a real stick in the mud and Gin, as a captain, had his own duties to attend to. Kisuke and Yoruichi only came back once, but that was due to things getting busy at the shop. However, I never saw Shinji or any of the other Visords. It seemed Hiyori HAD kept her word… and I was grateful.

"Knock, knock," came a soft voice. I smiled as I looked over at Rukia and Ichigo as they came in. I was fully dressed this time, so were the boys. Apparently, my stay in the hospital had caused me to miss an interesting debut of some spiritualist moron. Ichigo had told me all about this clown, making me question the man's sanity.

"Ready to go?" Ichigo asked, looking over my many bags and things. The bassinettes had been placed onto strollers for easy travelling as we made the walk back to Ichigo's home. Yes, we were walking nearly all the way across down. I wanted to lose that baby fat as soon as possible. Both Ichigo and Rukia grabbed as many bags as they could and I realized there was still more.

"I'll help," came Hiyori's voice. I smiled warmly at her.

"You're a life-saver, Hiyori," I told her. She just huffed and grabbed a few bags, leaving the bassinettes to me.

"Miss Kurosaki," interrupted a nurse. "Mr. Ishida arranged for a car to deliver your furniture and bags to your home. You need only worry about your boys."

That got a relieved look from Ichigo and Rukia as they set some down. I gladly picked up Enra, letting Hiyori carry Yukiya. She loved holding my boys, after all. Thus, Ichigo got stuck with my purse and the diaper bag. He didn't seem to mind it much though as we made our way towards his home. I knew Hiyori was only here to find out where I lived. I knew she was attached to my boys already… and it made me smile. I knew she'd never admit it, but they definitely had a soft spot just for her, too, especially Yukiya.

"All of your homework is waiting," Ichigo told me. All week long, he'd been a real sweetheart, getting my homework and turning it in for me. I smiled warmly at him.

"Thanks," I told him. "You're always so good to me, Ichi."

He rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably and looked away, making Rukia and I giggle. Even Hiyori was smirking. Abruptly, there was a ringing sound from Rukia. I sighed as she fished Kon out of her bag and forced out his candy. She then had Ichigo swallow it and, with a quick apology, they left. I shook my head with a smile.

"Sorry you're stuck with the bags, Kon," I told the mod soul. He shrugged.

"I can handle that," he replied. "I haven't been able to see you all week!"

I laughed.

"Sorry," I apologized again. "Hiyori, this is Kon, a mod soul. Kon, this is my dear friend, Hiyori."

The two exchanged looks, but seemed to just KNOW they wouldn't get along.

"I told the others about you," Hiyori stated, getting my attention. "Shinji was gone."

That brought me some relief.

"I take it they're no more pleased with me than you are," I commented idly. She scowled at me.

"You and that thick-headed idiot deserve each other," was her reply. "You're both being ridiculously stupid."

I struggled not to roll my eyes.

"I know that's how you feel, Hiyori," I reminded her patiently. "But please keep in mind how _we_ feel."

That earned a flip-flop to the side of my head, making me crash into a tree nearby, yelping.

"I'm _tired_ of keeping that in mind, you selfish, egotistical, inhumane idiot!" she yelled at me. "It wouldn't be like this if you would just _tell him_!"

I ducked the second hit and then noticed that Kon had caught a now crying Enra. Hiyori seemed to catch it, too, and immediately looked guilty, also realizing her yelling had made Yukiya cry. Thus, us two women spent the next few minutes calming the boys down before we could walk on. I sighed softly.

"Hiyori, let's keep the fights away from the kids, okay?" I asked. Mutely, she nodded, still a bit guilty about making them both cry like that.

"Am I allowed to side with Hiyori on this?" asked Kon quietly. I groaned.

"No, you are not," I answered, making Hiyori huff at me. Fortunately, we made it home in record time. Once we got the boys settled, Hiyori had taken her leave. Once she was gone, I practically collapsed onto my bed, feeling my heart ache all over again. I knew she meant well… but the rate that she was pushing me was going to result in my heart breaking even faster. Between her, Tessai, Kisuke, Yoruichi, and even Isshin, I was going to scream! They all wanted me to tell Shinji about all this, to tell him the truth… but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Kon said not a word, just held me as I rested, watching my babes sleep soundly.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked me finally. I shrugged.

"I don't know," I answered. "In two years… I guess it won't matter."

He squeezed me softly, but just let me enjoy the silence. After a while, I grabbed the homework and began to do as much as I could between diapers, feedings, and rocking. I was getting really, really good at multi-tasking by the time Ichigo and Rukia got home.

"I'm home," Ichigo called.

"It's just us, Ichi," I called back. He entered the room and looked over the scene… Then popped Kon's pill out, putting it back in the lion, before dropping down beside me and pulling out his own homework.

"I apologize ahead of time if my boys wake you in the middle of the night," I said softly, quietly. "They don't quite sleep through the night yet… and won't for many, many months."

He just shrugged.

"Won't be any different than Rukia doing it for another mission," he told me simply. I smiled softly and gratefully.

"You're amazing, Ichi," I told him, kissing his cheek, making him blush. I giggled at that blush and turned back to my homework.


	24. Dark Thoughts

Thus, the month passed quickly. I learned to multi-task between being a mom and going to school. My classmates and teachers were amazing too. My teachers, many of them parents themselves, were often willing to give me a hand when the boys had their crying fits (crying without a damned reason). My classmates, however, had begun to tell me having my kids in class was the perfect kind of persuasion to be obstinate, making me laugh every time. Ichigo had become so good with them, too, it really made people think he was their father.

I had also forgiven Kisuke for his interfering. Hiyori told me that Shinji hadn't believed him when he'd said it so that gave me hope that my beloved would remain clueless. I could not bear for him to know the truth, not even now. While I knew, if he ever did learn the truth he would be very angry with me, I also knew he would understand and forgive me. Not right away, of course, but he would.

The thought of Shinji sent yet another wave of pain through my heart. Ever since the boys were born, I had felt my heart fading faster than ever, something that was both alarming and upsetting. I knew the reason it had sped up was because of the grief I now felt. If I was truly honest with myself… I WANTED to tell Shinji everything. I WANTED him there with me and our kids… I missed falling asleep in his arms, waking to his eyes glaring at the clock, fighting with him to get dressed in the morning without getting accosted… I missed him… so much…

There were many nights I had cried myself to sleep, trying to keep anyone from hearing me. The looks of pity on Ichigo and Rukia's faces told me otherwise, told me they heard me every night. Seeing Hiyori, alive and well, only made the pain all that much stronger. Part of me ached at how much he had to be hurting, thinking Kisuke was playing a cruel trick on him, telling him I was alive when there was no way I could be… Durnehviir had made that crystal-clear to Shinji all those years ago… There were several times I nearly asked Hiyori to take me to him, but I always stopped myself last-second. I just couldn't bring myself to face him. If I was truly being honest with myself, I wasn't keeping myself and the boys secret from him to keep him from hurting.

I was afraid.

I was afraid that, after all this time had passed, he wouldn't love me anymore… or that when my secrets truly came out, that he would turn away from me. I knew my reasons were very selfish, but I just couldn't tell him… I couldn't… I had even traced Hiyori's energy back to the warehouse she was training at… and had felt HIM there. It had taken all I had to keep from running towards that energy, to keep mine from spiking and seeking his out… I struggled so much… because I loved him still. I loved him so dearly, so completely… and the pain of knowing I had as good as lost him… was too much to bear.

"You've got that look on your face again," commented Uryu. I never understood why he spoke to me when I knew he was not fond of Soul Reapers. I KNEW he knew I was one. I gave him a weak smile.

"Sorry," I told him softly. "I keep getting lost in the past…"

His eyes gentled as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"You really miss him, don't you?" he asked softly. "Their father?"

I gave Uryu another sad smile, feeling tears prick my eyes.

"The worst part is… he's not dead… just lost to me," I explained softly. Softly, his squeezed my shoulder.

"I'm here, should you need anything," he told me. I smiled warmly at him.

"You're a great friend, Uryu," I told him softly. "I'll never forget this kindness you've shown."

He gave a soft blush and pushed his glasses up again. Right now, Orihime was letting Enra sleep in her arms as she talked and laughed with Tatsuki. Ichigo was holding Yukiya, the boy resting his head on Ichigo's shoulder, though wide awake and looking around the room. I was trying to finish as much of our homework as I could before lunch was over and I'd have to take at least Enra back. Ichigo, like me, had gotten quite good at multi-tasking when it came to my kids. He could hold that baby in one arm and take notes, flip pages, or raise his hand with the other. For feeding, I usually pumped during lunch (which I had already done), and warmed up small bags of pumped milk the rest of the time. When school was over, I would gladly go back to letting my boys nurse. I preferred feeding them that way. It always felt more meaningful and soothing to me.

"How are they growing?" he asked. I smiled softly, recalling that his father had helped Isshin with that C-section.

"They're hitting all their markers," I answered. "I just wish they didn't have to get shots so often…"

Uryu spared me a small, wry smile.

"I can imagine," he agreed. I chuckled and got back to work, fortunately pumping out most of the homework from that morning before the teacher walked back in. Sure enough, Orihime handed me back the now awake Enra and I excused myself, Ichigo just behind me, so we could change diapers before the next class of the day. When we returned to the classroom, Ichigo put the now sleeping Yukiya back in his bassinette, next to me. I put Enra on my lap and started feeding him a warmed-up bottle and class began again.

* * *

The afternoon was peaceful, quiet. It made me glad things were going so smoothly, to be honest. It was rare to get to enjoy our days. They were posting our class ratings as well. I merely glanced at it, not that it was necessary. I knew I was second only to Uryu. Thus the reason I knew him so well. We were often paired up for assignments. I loved working with him as he made sure our projects were interesting and didn't stop me from being creative.

"Uryu… are you going to test him today?" I asked softly, startling him. "I have visions… I also know you set out some bait. I know you know what I am… or rather, what I was… So, do you mean to test the boy?"

Uryu nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Be careful, Quincy," I said softly, concern in my voice. "That bait… won't just call small hollows…"

That got his eyes to go straight to mine.

"Please be safe, Uryu," I told him, then left the school behind, carrying my two bassinettes and my diaper bag and bookbag.

I knew he would not listen.

* * *

True to prediction, I felt the hollow bait successfully doing its job. As the skies overflowed with those creatures, Uryu and Ichigo dueled out to see how many they could kill. I shook my head and did my homework. Isshin was helping me with the boys between appointments at the clinic.

"What is that Ishida boy thinking?" he asked. I chuckled.

"He's not understanding Ichigo's position," I answered. "That's all there is to it. It will pass."

"I hope you are right," was the answer. "Or things could get ugly fast."

I nodded, agreeing.

"I assure you, it will get pretty ugly before things get better," I told him simply. He shot me a look.

"Vision?" he asked. I nodded softly.

"A Gillian," I answered. His frown grew. "Don't worry. Ichigo will handle it… but it will start a downward spiral for him for a time. He will recover… but not right away."

Isshin sighed, but chose not to say a word.

~ _So the beginning of the end has come… Be safe, Ichigo, Uryu…_ ~

* * *

I was woken that evening by my phone. With a soft yawn, I picked it up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Are you safe?"

"Sosuke! Yeah. The boys and I are at home, safe and sound. How did you know what was happening here?"

"I have my sources," he answered simply. "Are you aware that the humans called Chad and Orihime have exhibited power?"

I frowned.

"I did not know that, no," I answered, getting concerned. "This is troublesome… but somewhat expected. That hollow bait that Uryu put out there was bound to cause serious problems."

"Uryu… the young Quincy boy?"

I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me.

"I see," he said softly. "Are you sure you are safe?"

"My energy is back to normal," I assured him. "Should I need to, I can defend us. Thank you for your concern though. It really warms my heart to know you worry about us, Sosuke. You're going to make someone very happy someday… and I imagine you'd be a damn good father, too."

He chuckled.

"Just stay inside and I'll try not to worry," he told me. I chuckled.

"Like I'm taking two newborns out in this crap," I teased back. With a soft goodbye, we both hung up and I was left in peace and quiet.

Carefully, I sought out Shinji and Hiyori. Both were safely in the warehouse, allowing me to breathe a little easier. Knowing I could be sensed by Shinji if he was paying any attention, I sent a soft tendril of energy towards Hiyori, letting her know the boys and I were safe. It was the softest, least amount I could manage. Fortunately, Shinji seems to have missed it, as Hiyori's energy was the only one to even remotely spike in response. I was relieved to feel her own apprehension at the situation… so I sent her what I knew of what was happening. Shortly after, I giggled as I felt her energy spike in rage and irritation as she told the others what she knew. That was followed by several other spikes, amusing me to no end… until Shinji's spiked.

I struggled not to react, not to let my energy seek his out. I struggled and fought myself, fought the need to comfort his rage, to calm his mind. Hiyori seemed to wordlessly know my struggle and I realized I'd forgotten to pull my energy back from hers…

~ _She heard all of that… Felt all of that… I'm so sorry, Hiyori…_ ~

* _JUST SHUT UP AND PULL BACK BEFORE HE NOTICES, IDIOT!_ *

Rapidly, I did just that, forcing my energy away after sending her another apology… which she waved off. I chuckled and focused on my boys. One look at their tear-filled faces told me they were also sensing the chaos.

"Ulquiorra… I need you," I said softly. Sure enough, seconds later, a garganta opened and he walked through. It took him mere seconds to deduce the commotion outside, even less time to realize why I needed him. He simply picked up Yukiya and held him, wrapping the babe in his reiatsu, comforting him by blocking out all the other reiatsu in the area.

"Who caused this?" he asked, taking a seat next to me as I comforted Enra.

"A Quincy," I answered. "His thoughts are deeply misled."

He said nothing back, just continued to comfort the babe in his arms. I smiled softly.

"I remember when you used to do that for me…" I said softly. He spared me a glance. I chuckled softly at that look. "Always so determined to remain unattached, Ulqui…"

I knew he wouldn't respond. Ulquiorra rarely spoke, choosing to use actions over words more often than not. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me, Ulqui?" I asked softly, getting him to look at me again. "That you were my alpha?"

"You were not ready," was the reply.

"Four hundred years… and I wasn't ready?" I asked. "Are you sure that I was the one that wasn't ready? You were already sating my heat."

"Giving one's self to another is not something to take so lightly," he told me. "Only the common trash would make such a grievous error in judgement. You were not ready. Your heart was not ready to settle down, nor would have Kit let you, not while he maintained that claim upon you."

I shook my head sadly.

"And you would only have died sooner," he pointed out. "As you once told me, you thought I had died… then I would have truly perished, feeling the loss of our bond."

I smiled sadly, softly.

"I would not want that," I admitted. "I would not want you to die because of me… not again…"

"I did not and I will not," he answered simply.

"I'll hold you to that," I told him softly, resting my head back on his shoulder again. Feeling his energy next to mine, I let ours intertwine, letting his peaceful, calm thoughts (or lack thereof) ease my own mind and soul. His soothing presence, soon lulled me to sleep.

* * *

Third Person POV

Hiyori was viciously attacking Shinji, training hard against him as she tried to keep his mind off the lingering energy Vasilysa had left behind from her momentary connection. After she had explained what had happened and what was going on outside (and Hiyori explained it to everyone else), Hiyori had sensed Vasilysa's struggle, held felt all of her emotions leaking through that bond… Thus the reason Hiyori was now fighting Shinji so heatedly. She was trying to beat those feelings out of her own head, trying desperately to clear the need to curl up with him from her mind.

Both participants were fully into this battle, even wearing their masks and fighting hard against one another, trying to come out on top. For Hiyori, this was to clear her head. For Shinji… this was a chance to let out all the pent-up aggression towards a certain ex-captain of the twelfth for torturing his mind like this.

Ever since that note from Kisuke arrived, Shinji had been tortured. Naturally, he'd gone to beat the hell out of Kisuke for lying to him so blatantly… but then to have Kisuke continue to argue with him, to tell him that he had _not_ , in fact, lied was almost too much! It had left Shinji's mind and heart full of doubts… but try as he may, he hadn't been able to sense her, not at all… and he'd searched, everywhere! Then Hiyori had started disappearing every day without a good reason… or at least she wasn't telling anyone the reason. Once, he'd even tried to follow her, only for her to realize it and lose him by hiding her own reiatsu completely. It aggravated him to no end! Everyone at the warehouse was acting strange, too. All of them would stop talking when he entered the room or would change the subject… or would just randomly look at him with pity or annoyance in their eyes. It was like living in your own personal hell! Shinji's heart was still filled with grief, one hundred years after the fact, something that never stopped hurting him. All he had wanted, that beautiful life with Vasilysa, children, a home… it was all taken from him… by Aizen.

Shinji felt his mind fill with hate at the thought of that traitor. He had taken _everything_ from him! He had ruined what should have been one of the happiest times of his life! He had finally gotten the courage to ask her to marry him and she accepted… and then _that_ happened! Then there was that one last bit that was still eating at him…

Flashback

 _"Shinji… I… I need to tell you the rest of my secrets," she told him. He could see how badly she was shaking and crossed that room in seconds, pulling her into a comforting hug._

 _"What brought this immediate decision on?" he asked softly, concerned._

 _"Something wonderful… and terrible," she answered quickly. "Shinji, I—"_

 _She cut off as the alarm sounded._

End Flashback

He would never know what had been so important. He would never know the rest of her secrets… all because of Aizen. She had finally decided to remove the last barrier between them… and how he had wished and dreamt… how he had desired to go back and _not_ go on the mission like she had begged him not to… He dreamt of her so often… and always woke alone, the loneliness eating him alive day by day until he was merely a shell of his former self. He used to care about others… now he just used the women he met to soothe his physical needs… though it was never enough… and he knew why.

They were not _her_. They didn't feel like _her_. None of them even came close to giving him the pleasure, the pure ecstasy that she had…

He could remember her so clearly… those beautiful, exotic crimson eyes… those long red-tinted black locks… her skin so soft under his hands… the warmth of her body as she lay in his arms at night, the taste of her kiss on his lips, the sound of her laughter… He missed her so much, so much that it hurt.

And she was dead… all thanks to Aizen.

He frowned, batting Hiyori aside again. Kisuke had to be lying. There was no way she was alive. Durnehviir had made that all too clear, and he had no doubt that Aizen had told her he had died.

"Pay attention, idiot!" Hiyori roared, landing one hell of a punch, knocking Shinji clear out of the sky. "Dammit, Shinji! Get your head in the game!"

Shinji shook his head and focused once more. It didn't matter. She was gone… and Aizen would pay.

* * *

 **And now you have a look into Shinji's thoughts and mind. Pretty dark place, isn't it?**

 **Hang on, my beloved readers. The depression is almost over. I hope you enjoyed this double-chapter release. Please let me know how I'm doing.**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	25. Breaking Through the Ice

Vasilysa's POV

I groaned, struggling to get out of bed. A large part of me did not want to get up, considering how often the boys had woken me last night… but I had school. I smiled softly. Summer was almost here. It was almost time to relax and enjoy the day…

Then Enra and Yukiya both started crying.

"I'm coming," I sighed, getting up and walking over. Seconds later, Ichigo was at my side, helping me with Yukiya. "Good morning… Ichigo… is there something wrong?"

"It's Rukia," he answered. "She's acting strange."

"I knew this was coming," I thought aloud. "After you faced that Gillian… it was only a matter of time before the Soul Society caught wind of this mess… Ichigo, your hardest battles have yet to come… but they are most certainly on their way. Promise me you won't give up, no matter how bad things get."

"You know I won't," he replied. "Now what are you talking about?"

I shook my head sadly.

"Do you remember when you told me about that other Soul Reaper, back on the anniversary?" I asked softly. He nodded. "He mentioned something was a grave crime, yes?"

"Yes," he answered, now that I had his full attention.

"The answers you seek you will get in short order," I told him softly, my hands shaking at the thought of the boy going up against (heaven forbid) a captain… "I can't tell you more than that, okay? Just know this is only going to get harder on you."

He scratched the back of his head, his expression annoyed.

"Again with your cryptic answers," he told me. I gave him a soft smile, but let it pass. Thus, he carried Yukiya's bassinette and I carried Enra's and we headed off to school.

~ _Ichigo was right. Rukia knows what is coming just as I do…_ ~

Then Uryu came to class. After he sat down, I frowned at him, tossing a note his way. He unfolded it, only to frown at me and shake his head. I rolled my eyes.

~ _Stubborn fool… He KNEW I would heal him. He only needed to ask…_ ~

I shook my head and focused on my boys and my schooling. After school, I looked at Ichigo.

"Head on home without me," I told him. "I need to go visit Kisuke."

"Hat and clogs?" Ichigo asked. "What do you need to see him for?"

"Ichigo, please… just do as I ask," I told him. He frowned, but I didn't give him time to continue talking, choosing to take my leave instead. I was grateful when Rukia didn't let him follow me as I took Enra and Yukiya's bassinettes and left for the shop. Sitting outside was Yoruichi and Kisuke.

"You know," was all Kisuke said. I nodded, taking a seat, resting the sleeping babes near me.

"They've been here for a while," I admitted. "I know you've felt them."

"Do you recognize them?" Kisuke asked.

"One of them, yes," I answered. "It's Byakuya. The other… is new to me."

"You aren't going to help them?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Byakuya and I never got along," I answered. "It would be best if we never crossed blades. I have even more to lose now than I ever did back in the Soul Society. It would be best… if I remained hidden in all this."

He nodded, just watching the sun start to set.

"Well, I'm going to give Ichigo some help," he announced.

"Then you know Byakuya will strike at the root of his power," I stated. He nodded, confirming it. "You will then train the boy? You and I both know he won't just sit idly by and let Rukia die."

"I know," was the reply as he left. Sighing, I stepped into the back of the shop, into my saved room. I forced myself to relax and focus on my kids. However… I sent out a tendril of energy and reached out for Hiyori. She was not the only one to answer, either. So did two other familiar energies: Kensei and Rose. To be fair, I filled them in on all I knew of current events, including the two Soul Reapers here to collect Rukia, Ichigo taking on the Gillian, and now, wanting to take on the Captain and Byakuya.

* _He's an idiot._ * Hiyori stated.

~ _Clearly. But I'm rather fond of that idiot… Byakuya will take all of his power away… and Kisuke will train him. This is not the end of Ichigo's story._ ~

- _This will not end well._ – Rose noted. Silently, I agreed and pulled back my energy. I knew, with my warning, they would be careful and remain out of sight.

I offered a silent prayer for the safety of all my friends, especially Ichigo… and then focused on my boys over all.

* * *

A loud scream woke me, one I'd recognize anywhere!

"Ichigo!" I whispered, rising and running towards it, only for Kisuke to stop me with a gentle hand on my arm.

"Relax," he told me. "He'll live."

I frowned, but obeyed, returning to my now crying boys. After a bit, I sensed Kisuke leave Ichigo alone… and ventured into that room with my children. Ichigo looked torn between determination and loss.

"He can train you, Ichigo," I told him softly, getting him to look at me. "You're fortunate to be trained by Kisuke of all people. He is… or was… once one of the best warriors out there. He's grown lax in his old age… but I don't doubt he can still make you strong enough to survive this battle. Your will needs to be unwavering. Do you understand me?"

"Can he really get me strong enough in ten days?" he asked. I smiled warmly.

"Ichigo, I can guarantee it," I answered him. "The training he doesn't give you… will come from your battles within the Soul Society. Tear down that fifteen-foot wall of crap between you and your emotions. Those emotions are what will give you your power, push you to new heights. So far, it is your fierce need to protect everyone around you that has made you stronger, harder, and able to face all foes you come across. Kisuke can train you… but you must listen to him. He'll try to lighten up your training with humor and his way of training will be strange… but effective."

"What will you do?" he asked. I smiled again.

"I've been talking with Isshin about getting my own place," I told him. "While you're training and then while you're gone, I will find a nice apartment and a job to support us. I want a full blow-by-blow account when you return, Ichi. I'll make sure Kon behaves while you're gone as well."

That relaxed him a bit.

"Alright," he said. "Guess I'd best prepare for the hardest week and a half of my life."

I chuckled.

"No, Ichi," I corrected him. "This ten days… will have nothing on the future that awaits you. This is but a stepping stone."

I kissed his cheek, then took my leave. It would only be fair to tell Isshin what was happening.

* * *

"Are you awake?" Kon asked, knocking on my door. Ever since Ichigo had started training, Kisuke had returned his body so that Kon could masquerade as him until he returned after ten days… until the day they went to get Rukia, too. Chad and Orihime, unsurprisingly, were also training, trying to get their powers to the level of usefulness. It meant a lot to them to be able to help Ichigo.

I smiled softly to myself.

"I'm awake," I replied. "Feeding at the moment. Can you pick out their outfits for the day?"

"Yeah," he answered, getting in the door. He glanced my way and quickly looked away again with a blush. He was more than used to seeing my breasts at this point. He'd often been in the room when I'd fed my boys and was past the nosebleed stage.

"Thanks, hun," I told him softly. "You've been amazing, Kon. You're always there when I need you."

He spared me a small smile.

"You're the only one in this house that appreciates me," he replied. I chuckled.

"Yuzu appreciates you," I teased, recalling the dress and flower incident. He immediately growled at me, giving me a dirty look. I giggled and focused on the baby that was slipping off my nipple, having fallen asleep while feeding again. I chuckled and gestured for Kon to take him, so he picked the boy up. I smiled softly.

"You'd make one hell of a dad," I told him honestly, making him blush again.

"Would you be the mother?" he teased. I laughed and lightly pushed him.

"You're terrible," I told him, making him grin and wink. I just giggled, then set my other son in his bassinette, getting into my dresser to find a bra. Kon had agreed to accompany me to look at numerous different apartments today, knowing it would probably be boring as hell. It had made me smile, the idea of him coming with me on something so droll.

Abruptly, my cell started ringing.

"Hello?" I answered, packing the diaper bag.

"Are you going to be busy today?"

"Sosuke! No, just looking into apartments. I can't leech off Isshin forever."

"Mind if I join you?"

I paused, surprised.

"Can you do that, just leave without permission?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I can be there within the next hour."

I smiled softly.

"I'd like that, Sosuke. See you then."

Then we both hung up.

"Kon, Sosuke wants to come with me," I told him. "Do you mind staying behind with Yuzu and Karin today?"

He actually looked relieved, making me laugh.

"Guess I'll see you later," he told me, taking his leave so I could finish getting ready for the day. I smiled softly, dressing in a button-up, crimson, short-sleeve blouse and a pair of black, bell-bottom, hip-hugger slacks. I smiled softly, pulling my hair back into a ponytail and put in a pair of golden shoulder-dusters. I applied the minimal make-up and then slipped on a pair of stilettos that would give me another two inches of height. While I waited for Sosuke, I also painted my nails crimson and shined up Shinji's ring along with the amulets from Kouga. Shortly after, the doorbell rang. I smiled softly and made my way downstairs, the boys' bassinettes over my arms.

Sosuke stood in the doorway, making me smile. I could honestly say it had been so long since I'd seen him dressed like a human. He was wearing a white, button-up shirt and black slacks. He looked like a man on a business trip, his demeanor matching perfectly with his polite and kind responses to Yuzu. He smiled when he saw me.

"Seems we had the same idea," he teased, making me chuckle.

"Indeed," I answered, getting the bassinette strollers out. Then I attached the boys' bassinettes and Sosuke and I left. "Glad you could come, even if this will be terribly boring."

He chuckled.

"Time spent with you is never boring," he assured me, making me flush. "Where to first?"

I pulled out the map and showed him.

"Three blocks that way," I answered. "It's one Isshin recommended. The landlord is reasonable and the apartments are fair-sized."

"What kind of apartment do they have available that you're interested in?"

"It's a two bedroom, one bath," I answered. "All of them, save one, that we will see today are the same thing."

"What's the last one?" he asked.

"It's styled after American apartments, so it's wide and open," I answered. "The rooms are huge and the kitchen is said to be twice the normal size. Ichigo actually heard about that one and the rent is reasonable for so much space. The only part that slightly worries me is it's on two levels, not a single level. The bedrooms are upstairs. Everything else is downstairs."

"You'll need a door for those stairs or a gate," he surmised, and I nodded. "I take it we're seeing that one last?"

Again, I nodded.

"How are you going to pay your rent?" he asked.

"I got a job," I answered uneasily. He noticed and placed his hand on mine. "I'm working from home most of the time. I joined an editing company and all I'll have to do is put my incessant perfectionism of punctuation to work on other people's writing. I'll have to go out occasionally to do a meeting with the clientele, but not often enough to worry me."

"Then why are you so uneasy?" he asked me. I sighed.

"My boss is a sleaze…" I answered uncomfortably. "I know damn well my chest size is the only reason I was hired."

That made him frown.

"You think he will purposefully make plenty of meetings that clientele 'forget' about, allowing him to use his position to pursue you?"

I nodded and his frown deepened.

"Quit that job," he told me firmly, making me look at him in disbelief. "Why didn't you get a different job if you didn't like the boss?"

I frowned.

"That job was the only one that would hire someone without a college education that can support three people in this economy and not require me to sit in an office instead of go to school," I explained. "I didn't have much of a choice…"

"Let me support you."

Now I stopped just outside our destination.

"Now you're just being absurd!" I objected. "I can't ask you to do that!"

"Then don't ask," he replied. "I'm offering. Let me support you. I have nothing better to do with my money and it has just been building up after all this time. It would give me a reasonable excuse to spend it."

I sighed heavily.

"Nothing I say is going to deter you, is it?" I asked. Immediately, he shook his head. "Fine… Let me call my boss."

That phone call was short. He was not pleased that I was quitting mere days after accepting. His attitude got even worse when he heard Sosuke next to me, talking to the apartment manager as we were shown to the apartment in question. He was royally pissed that I'd had a boyfriend, telling me if he'd known, he'd have never bothered to hire me (confirming my suspicions). I didn't stay to listen to the rest and hung up. Then I called my phone company and had my number changed in case the guy went stalker on me.

Seven Hours Later

Sosuke walked me back to Isshin's home. After a long, long day, Sosuke had talked me into going a size-up on the American style apartment, getting a three-bedroom, two bath. He had also had me sign the lease and paid a year's worth of rent and the safety deposit right then. The manager was ecstatic and I just shook my head, letting him spoil me. After all that, he had taken me out to dinner at a lovely, upper-echelon restaurant. He had also not hesitated once to help me with the boys, not once.

Part of me wished I'd fallen in love with him instead of Shinji in that moment… only for the guilt to settle in for having such a traitorous thought, let alone having voiced it to him. It had made Sosuke smile genuinely, true happiness showing through those eyes… which only made me feel all the guiltier.

"It was a pleasure to take you out today," he told me warmly. "I will return tomorrow to help you buy furniture and housewares."

I shook my head with a smile.

"You're enjoying this a little too much, Sosuke," I teased, making him chuckle.

"Just a bit," he admitted. "I've been wanting to take you out again for a long time."

I blushed darkly.

"Sosuke…"

He lightly clasped my hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

"Until tomorrow, my dear," he told me, then walked down the street with a wave. I shook my head, chasing the blush off my face.

"What the hell was that?"

I jumped at the sound of Hiyori's voice as she jumped down in front of me, a betrayed frown on her face.

"Sosuke was just doing as he always has," I told her. "He's the reason my pregnancy went off without a hitch. Yes, I know he's the one that betrayed you and no, I'm not falling for him. Not at all. I'm just letting him help me out. He really seems to want to and, right now, I don't have much of a choice. Any job I can get right now will _not_ support us… and I can't leech off of Isshin forever. Sosuke is being very generous. It would be cruel to turn him away, not only to him, but to my children."

I barely dodged the flip-flop aimed for my head.

"Then get over yourself and go talk to Shinji!" she snapped. "He _has_ a job and can more than provide for you!"

I sighed, feeling a headache coming on. It would be the um-teenth time we'd had this conversation… and I knew her patience with me was growing thin.

"Hiyori… I can't…"

"BULLSHIT!"

Once again, I barely dodged the flip-flop.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?!" she snapped. "Gah! I can't decide who's pissing me off more, you or him! You're both such idiots!"

Yukiya started reaching up towards the blonde, having woken at the sound of her voice. He wasn't crying or fussing, just cooing happily, smiling at her. Her rage quelled almost immediately and she picked him up, holding him. I knew she would always have a soft spot for these two boys.

"You're home!" greeted Isshin, helping me get my things inside, taking note of Hiyori and greeting her warmly. "Welcome to our home, miss."

She nodded to him, but said nothing as he ushered us both in. We sat down on the couch and I started feeding Enra. Isshin warmed a bottle so Hiyori could feed Yukiya, which she did gladly, thanking him grudgingly for making the bottle. It made me smile and Isshin seemed to understand she was not the friendliest type.

"Shinji tried to follow me again," she told me, making me tense. "I had half a mind to lead him straight here, to get you two to stop being idiots."

I gave her a begging, pleading look, and she sighed in frustration, looking away from me.

"I lost him," she assured me, getting me to relax.

"Thank you," I told her yet again. "You're the best friend I have."

"Are you sure it isn't Aizen?" she snarled, letting me know she _still_ wasn't happy with me. I sighed again.

"Aizen?" asked Isshin. "What does this Aizen have to do with anything?"

I frowned as I mentally groaned.

"Sosuke came by today and helped me pick an apartment," I explained. "He paid for it through the next year, all up front. He's coming back tomorrow to help me shop for furniture and then get it moved in."

"Is that so?" he asked, his tone giving away nothing of his thoughts. "Which one did you choose?"

"The one over on Westbright Street," I answered.

"The American one?"

I nodded.

"That's the one," I answered. "He wouldn't let me argue with him about it, either. Kind of steam-rolled me… just like he did about tomorrow. He has a tendency to do that. When he sets his mind to something, come hell or high water, he's going to do it. He was so much like Shinji that way…"

That last bit came out in a bit of a nostalgic tone.

"So you'll be gone all day tomorrow, too?" Isshin clarified. I nodded.

"Is that okay?" I asked. "Did you need me to do something?"

"Vasilysa, I can't force you, but I'm asking you to cancel your date with Aizen tomorrow," he told me, his voice dead-serious. I frowned.

"Isshin…?" I asked softly. Several emotions crossed those eyes, but I saw torment there. So, I picked up my phone and dialed Sosuke.

"I was just going to call you," he told me, surprising me. "Something's come up. I'm not going to be able to come tomorrow."

I smiled softly, relieved I didn't have to come up with an excuse.

"That's unfortunate," I told him. "But I guess things there are keeping you busy, huh?"

"I'm afraid so," he answered. "It was wonderful to see you, my dear. I'll have a card sent to you that has access to my account so you needn't worry about finances at all, okay? I'm sorry I have to cancel."

"It's fine," I told him. "It'll just wait until next time. Take care, Sosuke."

"You too," he answered. "Keep those boys safe."

Then we both hung up. Seconds later, Hiyori snatched it and dialed someone else. After a few seconds, someone answered rudely.

"Who the hell do you think it is, dumbass?" she snapped. "Look, I need your visa tomorrow… Don't ask why, idiot!"

There was a short argument between the two, confusing the hell outta me. She wanted to use this person's card, but he wanted a damn good reason why she wanted it.

"DAMMIT SHINJI! STOP ARGUING AND JUST GIVE ME YOUR DAMNED CARD TOMORROW! YOU'LL THANK ME LATER!"

I froze at the name, looking at her in horror after she argued with him some more. Finally, she threatened to shave his head, castrate him, and sew his mouth shut if she didn't have his card come morning and he finally gave in. It amazed me that she'd managed to get him to agree without telling him why. After she hung up, she handed me back the phone.

"I'll be here by nine," she told me, getting up. "We can get your furniture tomorrow."

"On S-Shinji's dollar?" I asked, stammering over his name. "Hiyori, I can't do that!"

This time, I didn't dodge the sandal, sprawling to the floor.

"Dammit, these kids are his and he can help support them whether you like it or not!" she snarled at me. "It's bad enough that his worst enemy is paying for your lodging, but to have Aizen pay for all of your furniture and everything your kids need, too?! Are you _trying_ to make Shinji hate you?!"

She narrowed her eyes as she stood over me.

"When Shinji finds out about those two—and don't argue, you know he will someday—he'll never forgive you for letting Sosuke take care of everything," she stated. "But if you let him help—even though he didn't know it at the time—he'll be thankful and will love you even more, knowing you let him contribute to their lives in some form."

Her eyes softened.

"Just let him do this much, Lysa," she said softly… and I caved, sighing.

"Alright," I told her. "I just hope that credit card doesn't keep records of purchases including _exactly_ what was purchased… or—"

"Or nothing," she told me firmly. "If he sees it, he'll just assume I was helping a friend furnish their apartment and get rooms set up for infants. It won't be until he realizes you're alive and these kids are his that things will click in his head, telling him everything you own is because of him. You two are so damn stubborn and so damn alike… What would you do if you found out Cimorene had bought all of Shinji's furniture?"

Immediately, I tensed up, clenching my fists at the thought, white-hot jealousy burning through me.

"Exactly how he would feel if you let Aizen," Isshin put in, catching on. "I have to side with Hiyori on this. When you get your furniture bought, how are you planning to get it to your apartment?"

"Delivery," Hiyori and I chorused, then laughed at each other.

"Here," she said, holding Yukiya, heading for the stairs. "I'll help you get them to bed."

I smiled softly.

"Thanks, Hiyori," I told her and we ascended, putting the boys down for the night. She then said her goodnights and left, promising to be back by nine to start another long day of shopping. I just smiled and accepted, getting ready for bed myself. A soft knock on my door made me look up.

"Isshin?" I asked softly.

"I just… wanna thank you for cancelling your date," he told me softly. "Aizen… Aizen is the reason Ichigo's mother is dead."

I froze completely.

"Sosuke… but I thought Grand Fisher—"

"She would have been able to protect Ichigo if it hadn't been for Aizen," he revealed. "Masaki… was a Quincy. Aizen… Aizen destroyed what she was… and she couldn't protect herself, let alone Ichigo when Grand Fisher attacked."

I felt my heart breaking for this man.

"I'm so sorry, Isshin…" I whispered. "I had no idea…"

He shook his head.

"Please, don't tell Ichigo," he told me. "I want to tell him, but not until he's ready to hear it."

I nodded.

"Of course," I agreed. "My lips are sealed."

He spared me a soft smile.

"You know, you don't have to leave…"

"I can't leech anymore, Isshin," I stated firmly. "I can't do this anymore. I've taken advantage of you long enough."

He smiled softly.

"Then how did you and Shinji manage in the Soul Society?" he asked.

"I was a Kuchiki," I answered. "My wealth came from our people. I owned our home. I paid all the bills. Shinji used his income for trips to the human world for our family and the occasional meal at a restaurant. I loved being the one to support us… but I can't do that here."

"You say 'was' a Kuchiki," he questioned. "Are you not now?"

I sighed.

"I honestly don't know," I answered. "Byakuya is the head of the family… and he never really liked me. Considering I was MIA for 100 years; I wouldn't be surprised if he had the family disown me entirely. I won't know until I finally break down and face him… which I'm in no hurry to do."

I paused.

"Ginrei wanted to name me the next head of the family… but I told him to let Byakuya be the leader," I revealed, making Isshin start in surprise. "I would have become his daughter-in-law if Kouga hadn't been framed and then sealed away."

"Who's Kouga?" he asked. I smiled sadly.

"I forgot you weren't there at that time," I admitted. "Kouga Kuchiki was married to Ginrei's daughter. He and I fell in love, though I wouldn't learn of his feelings for me until after he was sealed away. Kouga and his wife had filed divorce just before that event, too… so he and I could be together… But if Kouga hadn't been sealed away… I never would have realized that the love I had for him was not as strong as the love of a spouse should be. I would have been happy, yes… for a time…. But Shinji was my Alpha. Falling for him came as easy as breathing… and felt like… like complete transcendence into the heavens above when I was with him… Byakuya never approved of Shinji being my spouse, never liked how I was choosing to marry a low-level noble instead of another high-level noble house."

I shook my head sadly.

"But I don't know if he'd still feel that way," I went on. "Sosuke told me about Hisana… She was purely Rukon commoner…"

I shook my head sadly.

"At least I can admit to knowing the pain he went through when he lost her…"

The warmth of a hug drew me from my thoughts, surprising me at Isshin's unexpected kindness. Softly, I hugged him back… then let my tears fall. I wept in that moment, wept for everything I had lost, wept for everyone I missed… wept for Byakuya whose heart may never heal… It took me a few minutes to realize that he was crying, too, letting himself mourn Masaki yet again. We all shared a mutual suffering, a similar pain… the loss of our other half…

I cried until I had no tears left, my cheeks stinging from the salt and the wetness, my breathing ragged and shaking.

"Get some rest," he told me gently. "I don't want to push the subject, this being the last time I will bring this up, but keep this in mind, okay? Byakuya and I lost our spouses entirely. They can't come back. They're gone for good, for all time. You lost Shinji, yes, but he is not gone forever. He's still here, close enough to touch… If I were you and I had the chance to be with my loved one again… I wouldn't hesitate. When he finally comes to you… don't hesitate. I promise, he still loves you as you love him. You may not have much time left… but you will never regret the time you spend with him until the end."

Then he hugged me once more before taking his leave, letting me think over what he said. It was the first time anyone had put it to me like that… and I unconsciously reached out towards Hiyori. She was angry, furious even. I sensed the others there… and then I sensed him.

Once again, I fought my energy, fought it so it wouldn't react to his presence. From Hiyori's energy, I gathered that he and Hiyori were fighting over his visa again. He did _not_ want to give it to her… so I casually asked permission… and she allowed me to hear and see the whole thing as it happened.

"I'm not giving you my card so you can spend it on crap you don't need!" he told her, getting downright aggravated. My jaw dropped in shock.

~ _WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS HAIR?!_ ~

Durnehviir, Rose, and Hiyori all snickered mentally at me.

"It's not for me, dumbass!" she yelled at him. "It's for—"

She caught herself just in time.

"It's for a friend that needs it," she finished, forcing herself to calm down… which surprised Shinji. Hiyori never forced her temper away. "Please Shinji… You know I wouldn't be this adamant about it if it wasn't necessary…"

"Then why don't you ask Kensei or Love?" he asked. "They have jobs, too, you know."

"It can't be us," Kensei answered. That told me that Hiyori had revealed to the others why she had demanded Shinji's card. "It has to be you."

"Why me?" Shinji demanded, getting more and more frustrated. "Dammit! What aren't you all telling me?!"

"It's not our place to tell you," Rose answered firmly. "Just trust us when we say if we did this instead of you, you'd hate us for it in the long run."

That just made Shinji's scowl deepen. How desperately I wanted to soothe that temper, to push aside that frown…

* _STOP THAT! I'M NOT GONNA KISS THE GUY SO STOP MAKING ME WANT TO!_ *

I flushed and forced my emotions under control again.

"Just give it to her, Shinji," Lisa said, exasperated. "She won't bankrupt you."

~ _I hope not…_ ~

I started adding up the prices of the items I'd need and winced.

- _He has more than that stored away._ – Rose assured me. - _He's had 100 years to work without really needing to spend his money._ –

I sighed, but accepted that they were probably right. Still didn't make me feel any better about this. I began to argue with myself over whether or not to tell him the truth or to let it lie… and an unexpected voice answered me.

 **Do not concern yourself, Master. It will be revealed within the next two months anyway.**

~ _How would you know, Durnehviir?_ ~

 **Your Ada told me.**

I froze… so did Hiyori and Rose. I could feel their surprise, their uncertainty.

 **Hiyori, you must convince Shinji to do this… no matter what it takes. He will be most displeased to find out Sosuke offered.**

That sent shock through Rose, telling me Hiyori hadn't mentioned that little detail. A bit of guilt seeped through our bond as I thought about it.

"What the hell are you two hiding?" Shinji demanded, looking from Hiyori to Rose. He'd seen the entire myriad of emotions that had crossed their faces during our little exchange. Without meaning to, Isshin's words came back to me and I accidentally sent them through the bond.

" _You may not have much time left… but you will never regret the time you spend with him until the end._ "

I closed my eyes, feeling a new emotion wash over me.

~ _Ada knew… that's why he sent me this far into the future…_ ~

Neither Hiyori nor Rose could answer me, both dodging the glare Shinji was giving them.

"Fine," Shinji snapped. "Don't answer me! Here's the fucking card!"

He chucked it at Hiyori's head and flashed out, furious. My heart ached, seeing him like that.

~ _Shinji…_ ~

* _You're both idiots._ *

Then Hiyori broke the connection, forcing my energy away from her. Through Rose, I saw her storm out, herself. I sighed.

- _I'm going to pay you a visit. Do you mind?_ –

I shook my head softly… then pulled my energy back, making sure to erase all trace of it from the air around him. It took him less than twenty minutes to get across town to my window. I let him in without a word, letting him sit at my desk.

"Akalia… or Vasilysa… I don't really care what your name is anymore," he admitted, his eyes hard. "Why are you putting Hiyori and Shinji through this?"

So I caught him up to speed, showing him how much my hole had grown in the past week alone. I was rapidly running out of time. My grief, having Shinji so near but desperately keeping him away, was only causing me to die faster. I knew this… but I refused to admit it aloud or let anyone else know that.

"Kisuke said my time has grown much shorter," I finished explaining. "I will perish… in four months."

Rose was completely taken back.

"That soon?" he asked, struggling to comprehend this. "What happened to two years?"

I looked away, my pain on my face.

"I don't know… but I can't get it to slow down… I've tried," I admitted. "Rose… I can't. I can't do this to Shinji… having two years left with him was one thing… but four months?"

I felt my heart ache painfully again, reaching my hand up to clutch it. Tears stung my eyes.

"And now… it doesn't matter anyway… Durnehviir said two months from now… that's September… the beginning of next term…"

I shook my head, feeling tears slipping down my cheeks.

"How can life be that cruel…"

Softly, Rose pulled me into a hug.

"Will you regret the time you will spend with him?" he asked me, sounding just like Isshin.

"No… and yes," I answered. "The lasting effects—"

"Forget about the damned consequences for a moment," he said sternly, pulling back and forcing me to look at him. "If you focus only on the time you spend with him, will you regret it?"

My heart already knew the answer to that.

"No," I said softly. "I will not."

"Then at the start of the new term, you WILL face Shinji," he told me firmly. "You WILL spend your last months with him and you WILL be happy… if even for only a while. It's better than seeing you both utterly miserable."

I frowned.

"Do you have any idea what he was like after Aizen betrayed us?" he asked me. I shook my head. "All he thought about was you. All he wanted to do was race back to the Soul Society to get you! He fell apart completely, a broken shell of a man when we were told you had vanished, making us believe you were dead. He nearly lost the battle with his hollow because his hollow got him to believe you would never want him, never love him, as the monster he had become! Your name became taboo! The mere mention was enough to send his temper through the roof or send him into a complete emotional shutdown. When Kisuke sent the note, telling him you were alive, he flew into a rage and attacked Kisuke, furious that he would deceive him so! Vasilysa, he still loves you, very deeply… and I can't watch him suffer anymore. At least, knowing the time limit… he'll get to say goodbye this time. This time… he won't have to wonder where you are or if you're even still alive… He will finally be able to be at peace."

His words hit me hard, causing a fresh wave of tears as I realized just how selfish I had been. I had been both selfish and cruel… and Shinji was the one paying for it!

"He's not the monster… I am…" I wept, letting Rose hug me again. "Oh god… Shinji…"

My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. All the pain and anguish I had fought against for so long came back hard like a slap in the face. Was I really ready to face Shinji, to face my own fears? No. But I couldn't be selfish anymore.

I needed him. I needed him like the very air I breathed… and I had been hurting us both, suffocating myself because of all these ridiculous fears! I felt so stupid… and so guilty… and not knowing how to deal with those emotions… I just cried.


	26. Reaching Out

With a yawn, I slowly sat up.

~ _I must have cried myself to sleep…_ ~

Softly, I noted that both boys were missing, their bassinettes elsewhere. A quick scan of the house showed that Kon, Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin had them downstairs. It was sweet that they'd let me sleep. I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off my chest after last night, all my indecision and strife gone in only a few hours' time.

~ _Thank you, Rose… Hiyori… Isshin… Durnehviir…_ ~

 **About time you stopped moping around. I was beginning to think you would never see sense.**

I chuckled softly and glanced at the time. I had roughly an hour before Hiyori would show up. So, I grabbed a shower and made myself presentable. I decided to wear a comfortable set of bell-bottom black jeans and a crimson halter-top that accented my cleavage, a black jean jacket over it. I put in my gold studs and let my hair fall loosely in waves around me. I would look young and hot today. Pulling on a set of strappy stilettos I then made my way downstairs, enjoying the light whistles Kon and Isshin gave me, grinning at them both with a slight blush.

"Don't you look young and gorgeous!" Isshin teased. I blushed and looked around for the diaper bag. "Just stop. I'll keep the boys with me today so that you and Hiyori can enjoy your day out."

I was surprised.

"Isshin… You're so sweet!" I told him, hugging him. He grinned.

"I know!" he said, hugging me back. Then we sat down for breakfast and I ate my fill completely. Shortly after, the doorbell rang and I met Hiyori at the door.

"Let's go!" I told her, skipping past. "Bye Isshin, Yuzu, Karin, Ichigo! I'll be back later!"

"Bye!" was their reply and Hiyori started shaking her head with a smile.

"So, Rose got through to you?" she asked. I smiled warmly and nodded.

"I'll face Shinji after the start of the new term in September," I told her. "Better to spend my final days with him than making us both miserable… Sorry it took me so damned long to figure that out."

She just rolled her eyes, though I noted the smile on her face.

"Let's just get going, already," she grumbled, trying to cover up her own relief.

* * *

Shinji's POV

Shinji was glad he'd set up alerts through his email for all purchases on his card… but the purchases really weren't making any sense to him. Was he furnishing some pregnant woman's home? Or did she already have the kids and just needed supplies for them? Was it a new house?

So many questions without answers… and then there was that scene yesterday, the looks Rose and Hiyori had both worn during their argument.

~ _What is everyone hiding from me?_ ~

He wouldn't lie. It was really starting to piss him off.

 **Vasilysa hid things from you, too.**

~ _That's different._ ~

Sakanade gave him a knowing look.

 **Is it?**

Shinji chose not to answer. When his phone went off again, he looked down at the latest purchase.

~ _Cookware and silverware… Must be furnishing a house… Why am I doing this for a complete stranger again?_ ~

He was debating cancelling his card halfway through this shopping spree… but knew he'd feel like an ass if he did. Shinji sighed and looked over the small apartment he owned. It was a complete mess. He hadn't cleaned it since Kisuke had tried to convince him Vasilysa was alive.

~ _That lying bastard!_ ~

It still stung, even now. His heart ached, like someone was ripping it out of his chest, as he remembered her. He scowled. He hadn't even had a date since that damned note. He even felt a little guilty about all those girls, part of him wondering how she would have felt about him sleeping around like that…

 **You and I both know she wouldn't hold it against you. She would be upset marginally on the grounds that you _knew_ you were only using them and not trying to move on, though.**

Shinji knew Sakanade was right.

*Just imagine if Kisuke WAS telling the truth. How much would it hurt her to know about all those tramps, Shinji? How much would it horrify her, knowing what you are now? *

Shinji threw his empty sake bottle across the room, hearing it shatter against the far wall as he heard his hollow's voice. He began to shake in rage and anguish.

~ _Don't you dare talk about her! You have no right!_ ~

The hollow grinned maliciously.

*Don't I? I am part of you. I wonder if she'll still want you after all this time… You've grown so weak, so scared, so pathetic—*

~ _ENOUGH!_ ~

Shinji's voice roared through his head, his rage coating his vision red.

~ _It doesn't matter. She isn't alive…_ ~

And the sting of the truth returned, causing that familiar ache deep in his heart. The loneliness wrapped around him like a vise, take away all his happiness and his energy. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he pulled his knees up to his chest, laying his head on his arms, just letting them fall. His grief seemed unending, undying. Every time he thought he was going to be okay… life would come crashing down and remind him he wasn't. He had just begun coming to terms with losing her, had just started to seriously date girls… when that damned note had come.

~ _Kisuke, you bastard…_ ~

Right after the seethed thought, his heart clenched painfully and another wave of tears hit.

~ _Vasilysa…_ ~

* * *

Vasilysa's POV

Hiyori had been helping me the past two weeks, getting my new apartment set up. Rose had even come to help with some of the heavy lifting, which I definitely appreciated. Ichigo had finally left for the Soul Society last night, left for the hardest battles of his life yet. I had let my prayers go with them, hoping against all hope that they were alive and safe. Only time would tell how things went.

In the meantime, I busied myself at home. Hiyori visited daily, more than happy to help me out with my boys and they absolutely adored her. She had gotten to see them scoot across the floor for the first time… She had laughed uproariously when Yukiya had scooted forward to the point that his head was against the television stand and he started crying, realizing he couldn't move forward anymore. Laughing, Hiyori had turned the distraught baby around and he had happily began scooting forwards again.

Enra wasn't nearly as active as his brother. He preferred to let his brother learn things first… and learn from his mistakes. Yukiya was a leader. Enra was a follower. It was clear in their personalities, clear just who they were. They still looked annoyingly identical, which confused all normal people. But for those of us that could sense Spiritual Pressure, you could tell the difference in their reiatsu. That made it really easy to tell them apart.

"Kisuke came by the other day with some interesting things to say," Hiyori told me, getting my attention. I glanced over at him as I fed Yukiya and she held Enra. "He said Ichigo, your boy, had developed a hollow like we have."

I nodded.

"So I heard," I agreed. "Ichigo told me… though he doesn't realize there's a hollow inside him. He just recalled the mask that formed on his face before he got his Soul Reaper powers back."

She frowned.

"Will he be strong?" she asked. I nodded.

"He will need trained, but he will not go to you so easily," I warned. "He is headstrong and independent. The thought of having a monster trying to control him is something he will fight alone as long as he can… unless forced to see it for what it really is… and I have no idea how you're going to get through to him. I wouldn't worry about it too much… not until his hollow really starts to become a problem for him. Only then will he listen."

"He listens to you," she pointed out. I frowned.

"Not enough," I replied. "I will do what I can from my end, but the rest is up to you."

She nodded, understanding.

"I'll leave recruiting him to Shinji, then," she stated. "He's better with people."

I knew it killed her to admit he was better at something than she was. It made me smile. Now the thought of Shinji no longer hurt. It no longer filled me with terror. Granted, I was still a little afraid of how he would react the first time I saw him… but I knew, no matter what, we would get through it together, just as we always had. My heart had not ached at all since Rose had gotten through to me. I was… at peace.

"Knock, knock!" called Kon, entering my home. I smiled at him and he took a seat next to me, stretching out. "What a day… How've you been? Adjusting to living alone?"

I smiled softly, tenderly.

"I'm doing wonderfully," I assured him. "Hiyori has been the best, helping me out every day. She'll make an amazing mom someday."

As predicted, Hiyori immediately lit up like a bulb, her face so red, and she sputtered and objected, telling me she would NEVER have kids or be dumb enough to fall in love with a guy. Kon, of course, challenged every statement, every thought, only managing to piss Hiyori off. Soon enough, he got a flip-flop to the face and I giggled, watching him sail across the room.

Then the two began arguing in earnest.

"Guys, take it outside," I told them firmly. "You're upsetting the boys."

That got both of them to settle down, guilty expressions on their faces as the whimpering and soft cries of nervous tension reached their ears.

"Sorry," they chorused, Hiyori picking up Enra again, calming him in an instant as he nuzzled into her warmth. I smiled softly, just watching that.

"Are you going to get a job?" asked Kon. I shook my head and held up Sosuke's card.

"He had Ulquiorra deliver it," I stated, putting it back in my wallet. "Financially, I'm set… at least until September."

I smiled softly, my heart racing in excitement and nervousness at the thought.

~ _Shinji…_ ~

I could remember how it felt to have his arms around me… and as the days ticked by, my desire to see him grew. I knew he was going to be given a very long-overdue explanation, but I started to care less and less about that and more and more about just getting to hold him, to hear his heartbeat again… to hold him in my arms, to smell that delicious scent that was him and him alone…

"WAKE UP!"

I slammed into the far wall, a flip-flop having slammed into my cheek, making me yelp.

"Don't just sit there and daydream!" Hiyori shouted. "You look stupid, you idiot!"

I laughed, agreeing with her. My laughter only seemed to increase her ire, though a smile tugged at her lips. She seemed grateful that I wasn't mopey anymore. Just after I sat back down, my head spun as a vision overwhelmed me.

 **It was in a room I'd never seen, the sunlight creeping through a nearly completely closed window. Following that small beam, you could make out two bodies moving fluidly together, pressed up against a wall. Cries of pure ecstasy pierced the air, pulled from the woman's lungs.**

 **"Ah… Shinji!"**

 **Said male thrust even faster and harder, making her cries echo.**

 **"V-Vasilysa…" he groaned.**

With a gasp, I came out of it, nearly keeling over at the emotions and heat racing through me. Two sets of arms caught me in seconds, holding me steady.

"S-sorry," I stuttered, trying to get my bearings. My vision was blurred, skewed… "V-vision…"

I was confused. Never had I ever been able to see myself before… So how had I seen myself now? A blush raced across my cheeks as I recalled what was happening… followed by warmth flooding my body… followed by hot, naked desire.

~ _Gods… Shinji_ …~

I was trembling, missing that sensual, sinful warmth… Unconsciously, my reiatsu began to reach out towards his—

"Stop it!" Hiyori yelled, getting attention. Abruptly, I snapped out it, fighting back my instincts once more.

"Sorry," I apologized again. "That vision really threw me…"

"Clearly," she grumbled, getting back to my boys. Enra and Yukiya were both on the floor now, scooting around. Yukiya was definitely going to be the first to crawl. He was so determined…

 **Like his father.**

I chuckled, agreeing, though my mind turned elsewhere. Careful to keep my own reiatsu contained, I sought out Shinji's. I was not disappointed, finding him all alone in an apartment complex on the other side of town… and his aura was depressed… and sick…

I frowned deeply.

"He's drunk again…" I muttered, not meaning for anyone to hear me. "Dammit, Shinji…"

I shook those thoughts away and forced my senses away as well. I trusted my Ada to know what he was doing. After all, I was certain he wouldn't be drinking so heavily (except for celebratory purposes) once I got to him… if he'd have me back…

 **Your vision just showed that he would.**

~ _Yes, but it said nothing about how long it would take for him to forgive me to get to that point again…_ ~

Durnehviir, thankfully, chose not to reply, knowing I had a point.

"I'm gonna head out," Hiyori stated. "I'm supposed to get lunch today."

I chuckled.

"Be safe," I told her. She just waved it off as she left.

"I'm gonna head home, too," Kon told me. "Yuzu's making Cajun Chicken."

I laughed. He loved that food.

"Have fun," I told him, waving him away. He smiled and took his leave. Now, left with a peaceful house, I let my boys relax on the floor. Now that no one was here… I was free to act.

I sent out a tendril of strictly hollow energy towards the very drunk Shinji, mildly amused when he didn't immediately refute it, instead raising his head to study it curiously. His energy was ready for battle if necessary… but I had mine caress him instead, wiping away tears he had shed. I didn't dare speak, knowing he would know my voice on the spot… but I could comfort him as best I could, sending waves of it through my reiatsu. Shinji was on edge about it for a while, but his hollow energy knew its beta when it sensed me. He welcomed my touch with open arms, seeming to get Shinji to relax as well and just accept it. My heart ached deeply, feeling his pain as he let it flow, releasing his control completely, surrendering his reiatsu to mine, desperately needing the comfort. Unable to stop myself, I had to comfort him even more. I borrowed Sakanade's voice.

~ _One more month, Shinji… One more month… and you'll never have to drink from loneliness again. I promise._ ~

- _How can you promise such a thing, Hollow?_ –

I could feel his anger and refusal to believe me, so I caressed him tenderly again.

~ _Calm yourself… That heart was not lost, that life was not taken… it was merely removed from that time and place… to where it would not hurt anymore._ ~

I paused, letting him puzzle that out for a moment.

~ _She is very much alive. Kisuke… did not lie… and that thing she wanted to tell you, the day it happened… you will get to see first-hand. She has saved it, all these years, just for you._ ~

I could feel painful hope before he pushed it aside with great anger.

~ _Why do you think your friends keep hiding something from you?_ ~

He froze.

~ _Why do you think they continue to be on pins and needles around you? Did you really think Hiyori would so blatantly use your time, your emotions, your money… unless you had something to gain?_ ~

Now that painful hope was starting to engulf him.

- _But… I searched for her… and I couldn't find her, couldn't sense her…_ -

I sighed.

~ _You cannot sense energy that is being constantly consumed. Even now, it has not fully recovered from her ordeal._ ~

I could feel his worry, his concern… then his feeling of helplessness, realizing he hadn't been there when I had needed him. It warmed my heart to know he still loved me this much…

~ _You will understand, I promise. One month, Shinji Hirako. One month… and you **will** see her again._ ~

Then I pulled away, leaving him to his thoughts.

"That was risky."

I jumped, my eyes snapping open to see Kisuke sitting across from me.

"He could have chosen to battle that hollow rather than listen, you know," he stated. I smiled softly.

"Clearly, you know nothing of hollows," I told him simply, getting him to look at me from under his hat. "His hollow recognized his beta, even if he did not realize it was me, exactly. He would not turn me away. A hollow can no more ignore their beta than they can stop desiring more power. It is part of who they are. Even against their will, they will be drawn to it and respond to it. It is much harder on an alpha to contain that bond than it is on a beta."

"I thought you said you didn't want him to know about you," he put in, his words cautious. I smiled softly.

"You can thank Rose for getting something through my thick skull," I answered. "In one month, whether I like it or not, Ada has decided to take the choice from me entirely. Ready or not, I _will_ see him and have to face him. Ada has made damn sure of that."

The silence was peaceful.

"Ichigo's hollow will need trained," I went on. "They will have to meet… and in one month, they will approach him. When that time comes…"

"You will be forced face-to-face with Hirako," Tessai put in, coming out of the kitchen with some tea.

"Thank you, Tessai," I said softly. "And yes."

I took a sip from the offered cup.

"Only Ada knows how that meeting will go," I commented softly. "But… with only three months left… I really don't have room to complain."

The silence fell again.

"You're worried about them, aren't you?" I asked softly, glancing over at Kisuke. Slowly, he nodded.

"Ten days is not enough time to truly prepare someone," he answered. I chuckled.

"Relax," I told him. "I assure you, they'll be fine. Sosuke's been sending me updates since I asked for them. They're all alive and fine. They'll come back in one piece."

"And you trust Sosuke's reports?" he asked me, his voice low. I chuckled.

"Of course not," I answered. "I've been collaborating his reports with Rangiku's and Gin's. Rangiku knows only what the Soul Society knows. Sosuke tells me only what he wants me to know. Gin is my filter. He knows everything… and since we're both aiming for the same goal, he leaves nothing out."

"The same goal," Kisuke repeated slowly. I smiled softly.

"To defeat your enemy… you must first make him your friend," I quoted him, surprising him. "Gin, though he acts the traitor, is on our side. Sosuke started this path a long time ago, the day he hurt Rangiku and Gin witnessed it. He swore that day to do what he had to, no matter what it was, to protect her from Sosuke… and to get revenge for that day. I trust Gin with not only my life, but the lives of my children, Ichigo and his family, and everyone else."

"You want revenge on Sosuke?" he asked me, seeming surprised. I lost my smile, a dark, bitter look coming to my face.

"If it wasn't for Sosuke, Shinji and I would probably still be in the Soul Society, married, and have a lot more children than these two," I answered softly. "Shinji was not the only one that lost everything that day. Gin told me everything, everything he knew. Sosuke is the one that convinced the captains to turn on Kouga. Sosuke is the one that told Kit where to find Shinji and I that last night of training before he went off the deep end. Sosuke is the one that took Shinji from me. He has been behind it all."

I paused.

"And I'd be a fool if I didn't know why," I continued quietly. "Up until Shinji was taken from me, he had no concept of what I was, of what would happen to me. He never stopped apologizing to me in the hospital while I struggled to awaken. I heard him, but I couldn't respond… nor could I understand why he was apologizing. Sosuke begged me to come back, begged me to stay with him."

"He loves you," Tessai deduced, his tone shocked. I nodded softly.

"I knew about his true feelings for me since that seven-minutes-in-heaven," I admitted, surprising them. "But my heart already belonged to Shinji… and I could not and would not take it back."

"Is Sosuke—"

"No," I cut Kisuke off. "He is not my alpha. He just simply fell in love. No draw. No bond… just pure, untainted love… Love that became obsession and a desire to keep me for himself… until he realized he could not. Now, while his feelings still remain (strong as ever), he has contented himself with the knowledge that I cannot love him how he wants nor deserves… but I can be his friend. That has become enough for him… for now."

I paused.

"Gin thinks Sosuke is seeking the Spirit King's power… so he can take my heart back from Shinji by force, both saving my life and freeing me from him."

"Freeing you for the taking," Kisuke finished my thought. His eyes were troubled as he realized just how badly messed up this whole thing was. "He targeted Shinji on purpose… just to get him away from you… and the others were just in the wrong place at the wrong time!"

I nodded again.

"He targeted Kensei as well," I pointed out. "Due to how he openly pursued me even while I was clearly _with_ Shinji. It really irritated Sosuke and frustrated him. There was yet another obstacle in his path that needed removed."

Kisuke closed his eyes, realizing just how well the puzzle was coming together. He was shaking his head, struggling to wrap his mind around this emotion-based calamity.

"So… he means to target anyone that gets close to you… so all you have left, is him…"

I nodded.

"Ulquiorra, while one of my alphas, is not a threat, as he and I mutually agreed to never pursue that kind of relationship," I continued. "As long as he continues to serve Sosuke faithfully, he will be spared."

Kisuke was struggling to wrap his head around all this, struggling to come to terms with it. I knew it was a lot to absorb. It had taken me a while to understand it, myself.

Understanding… would come with time.


	27. Together At Last

Third Person POV

The Visords noticed the change in Shinji. It was nearly immediate. Ever since that hollow had reached out to him, Shinji's spirits were high as a kite and his depression long gone. He was filled to the brim with hope… and a few unanswered questions. If the hollow had spoken true, those purchases on his card…

~ _Could she have been pregnant? Was that what was so wonderful and terrible?_ ~

He scanned over the items in the list of purchases again. Everything for infants was done in twos.

~ _Twins…_ ~

Then he recalled Hiyori having to change her shirts after coming home, the stains on them… He remembered Rose disappearing for a while, too. All this time… had they known she was alive and… did she have children?

" _That heart was not lost, that life was not taken… it was merely removed from that time and place… to where it would not hurt anymore._ "

Those were the hollow's exact words… removed from that time and place… What did that mean? Pushing those thoughts aside, he decided he didn't care what it meant.

He was going to see her again, to hold her again. It brought elation deep into his heart.

One month… was going to feel like a lifetime.

* * *

Vasilysa's POV

Ichigo and the others returned safely nearly a week later… and boy did they all have stories to tell. Chad, naturally, really didn't say much, but Orihime and Ichigo could talk your ears off for hours. Uryu, I noted, seemed to have lost his power completely. When I had confronted him about it, he had been sullen and soft-spoken… so I told him that he was the greatest hero I knew, willing to sacrifice everything for the ones he loves… and it seemed to mean a lot to him to hear that from me. I was relieved to also learn that Ichigo held no grudge against Kisuke nor myself. He knew who we were now… but all Ichigo had told me was he was grateful I had never really lied to him about myself.

Now that my power was back, I would often spar with Ichigo while Kisuke and Yoruichi handled the boys nearby, watching. However, much to Ichigo's frustration, I would always refuse to release my zanpakuto.

"Why won't you fight me for real?!" he finally demanded. I sighed and put Durnehviir away.

"Because, I would not be fighting you as a Soul Reaper," I answered him. "I'd be fighting you… as a Halfling. My energy would be sensed far from this room… and there are still those that would see me destroyed. That is why I do not fight you at my full ability. Do you understand?"

"Perhaps I can be of assistance," Tessai offered, creating a barrier. With a low sigh, I merely flicked it and it crashed back down, startling the three people who knew how powerful that particular barrier was.

"That was just a flick of my finger," I reminded them. "Imagine if I let an actual attack touch it."

Tessai, Yoruichi, and Kisuke looked at me with a newfound respect.

"You held back a lot in the Soul Society," Yoruichi stated. I nodded. "You didn't need my training at all, did you?"

I shook my head.

"I just needed my body and mind to be broken so I could master Durnehviir's technique allowing me to borrow his eyes to see through all illusions placed before me, including Kyoka Suigetsu."

Now they were stunned.

"Yes, I knew the true nature of Sosuke's zanpakuto," I continued, answering their questions before they could say them. "Gin told me as soon as he learned it… and how to avoid being affected by it. However, the only way to do that would require for Sosuke to trust you enough to allow you near his blade before it can be drawn."

"You knew Gin and Aizen?" Ichigo asked. I smiled softly.

"Gin was like a son to me," I answered him. "He may seem evil… but I assure you he is not. He has everyone's best interests at heart. As for Sosuke… it's complicated."

Ichigo, fortunately, trusted me enough to let it go at that.

"Then allow me to set up multiple barriers of higher quality," Tessai offered, putting up over twelve of them. I sighed softly and started flicking each one… until they all dissolved.

"Not strong enough, Tessai," I stated. "Allow me to put up the barrier instead."

"Can you do that?" Yoruichi asked, surprised. "Maintain a barrier, hold back your power as to not actually harm Ichigo, and fight him while he is at full strength?"

I nodded and slammed my fist into the ground. Out of the dirt, surrounding us, rose dark red walls, webs of black lining each one. I then set up a second and third barrier, the second being green and the third being blue. Only then did I turn to Ichigo.

"Do not hold back on me," I told him, raising Durnehviir. I would not release my zanpakuto until I had no other choice.

"Bankai!" Ichigo yelled, releasing it completely. I merely watched, my eyes bored a bit.

~ _So… a Bankai that increases speed… how Ichigo._ ~

He came at me with everything he had, but I still sensed he was holding back.

"You're still holding back, Ichigo," I stated. "Are you afraid? Afraid of that part of you that took part of the battle with Byakuya from you?"

Ichigo froze.

"Do not be afraid of it, boy," I told him. "You are not alone. There are others that struggled the same way you do. Do not fear that part of you, that powerful being inside you. Only when the two of you can start to work together can you achieve the power you require… to even cut a Halfling."

Then I attacked. Even holding back, Ichigo was struggling to keep up, struggling to block me. His reiatsu was all over the place, struggling to hold up to mine, though mine wasn't even exposed. I could see his frustration growing… until I finally threw him through the barrier, crashing into Tessai, making them both go through four cliffs before they finally came to a stop.

"Ichigo," I said, noting that he was looking at me in disbelief, just like everyone else. "That was not even a tenth of the power I command… and you think to handle my full power? Do not be a fool. At your current level, I would kill you with my finger alone."

I stopped entirely, absorbing my reiatsu again as I started walking towards my boys.

"When you are ready, I will fight you properly," I said, my voice even. "Until then, keep fighting and getting stronger. Do not fear what you are or that creature within you. In time, you will learn just how much you need him… and he needs you."

Then I took both Enra and Yukiya and left the shop entirely.

* * *

I felt the sun on my face as I slowly woke up. It was so peaceful… finally. I rubbed my head softly and glanced at the clock.

"OH SHIT!"

My yell woke the boys, causing them to start wailing. I struggled to hurry into my uniform as I also tried to soothe my boys… then just gave up completely. I groaned mentally and sat down, feeding both my boys at once.

~ _So much for getting to school on time… why did you boys have to keep me up all night? Why did you have to get so sick?_ ~

I sighed heavily.

~ _It's going to be lunchtime by the time I get to school now… I'd best call the school._ ~

So, I dialed from my cell.

"Hello, I'm Vasilysa Kurosaki," I introduced. "I'm running a bit late."

"Boys keep you up?"

I smiled softly. Miss Ochi had always been so kind to me.

"Yes," I answered. "I'm so sorry. I'll be there as soon as I can get them ready. Please let me know how much I missed and leave any missed assignments with Ichigo for me."

"Of course," she answered. "I hope to see you around lunch, Miss Kurosaki."

"Lysa is the one calling?"

"Did the boys keep her up again?"

"Is she even coming?"

"Alright class, back to the subject at hand," Miss Ochi said, getting them back on track, hanging up. I smiled softly. It was nice to know my classmates worried about me. It warmed my heart deeply.

After another hour, I had my boys in their bassinettes and was on my way to school, my backpack swung over my shoulder, the diaper bag over the other. I hurried as fast as I could, choosing to take a huge risk and flash there. I appeared just outside the gates and quickly made my way in and up to the classroom. Predictably, as soon as I entered, my boys were taken by giggling, cooing girls and I was free to drop my bags next to Ichigo.

"Here's the assignments you missed," he told me, pushing them towards me. I smiled softly.

"Thanks, Ichi," I answered, taking it. "Did I miss anything good?"

"Not really," he replied. "Just a new student. He'll be back in a few minutes and I can introduce you."

"Sounds like—"

"V-Vasilysa…"

I froze, hearing a voice I had only reached through others… My heart started to race in my chest as I slowly turned around, my eyes meeting shocked brown ones.

"Wait a minute! How do you know the gorgeous Vasilysa?!" Keigo was yelling at Shinji, not that the man heard him at all.

"Hello, Shinji," I greeted, my voice barely a whisper. It was like the whole class was holding their breath, now having seen our exchange clearly.

"It's like he's seen a ghost…"

"They know each other?"

Slowly, his feet carried him to me, to stand right in front of me… Slowly, hesitantly, he reached his hand up to cup my face, the touch so light I wasn't sure I felt it, like he thought I would disappear. With a warm smile, I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand, placing mine over it as I looked back up at him.

"Shinji… My Shinji…"

My voice was warm and sweet… and whatever restraint he had broke in that moment. He kissed me hard, passionately, pulling me tight against him. I gasped at the sudden move, then just melted into him, holding him back, my arms quickly sliding up around his neck. When he picked me up, I felt him flash somewhere, but didn't care. Part of me knew it would have shocked our classmates and probably would have unnerved poor Ichigo… but at that moment, I couldn't care.

He kissed me like he had been dying in a desert and I was fresh water, like I was more sacred than all the temples combined.

"Vasilysa…"

His voice and his lips trembled as he pulled back from me, looking down into my eyes.

"Please tell me this isn't a dream…"

I smiled softly and kissed him tenderly, barely registering that he was using a shaking hand to try and push a key into a lock. With a soft giggle, I placed my hand over his and steadied him, helping him unlock the door and open it. I wasn't given much time to think after that as his kiss overwhelmed me, sent all my senses to their highest level. He picked me up once more, kicking the door shut behind us, like he was terrified to let me go. I felt him kick off his shoes and kicked my own shoes aside.

Once inside what I knew to be his bedroom, he set me down once more and just looked at me.

"S—"

He pressed a finger to my lips to silence me, his eyes pleading with me just to let him have this. So, I fell silent and just let him look at me, let his eyes re-memorize every inch of my form. His chest started to nearly heave with every breath, his eyes filling with unshed tears, making me ignore his request and pull him to me, into a soft kiss.

"I have missed you so," he whispered, leaning his head against mine. I smiled softly.

"I know," I admitted softly. "Thus the reason I reached out to you two weeks ago… or at least, my hollow blood did."

He froze.

"I borrowed the voice of your Sakanade to hide my own… but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit by and watch you get drunk for some pointless reason, Shinji Hirako, least of all on my account."

"How long?" he asked quietly.

"I've been here for about a year," I answered softly. "I'll gladly explain all that to you, nothing held back anymore… but please, not this second…"

I lightly tangled my hand in his hair.

"I just… need you."

And his restraint broke once more, lying fifty feet behind us as he came against me hard, devouring my sanity, my being, with every powerful kiss, with every touch of his hands. His lips left mine to kiss all over my face, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks… like he wanted to learn me all over again. I was struggling to be patient, struggling against my hollow blood, against the instincts I knew I could no longer fight.

"Shinji… I'm sorry," I told him softly, urgently. "But you'll have to take your time later."

And my hollow blood rose up, shoving him back forcefully, throwing him from me onto his bed. His eyes widened in shock, though it didn't last as I leapt over, straddling him quickly, kissing him hungrily, passionately. My own restraint was long gone as my hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt… and tore it away, throwing it aside. I heard him gasp as his eyes darkened in arousal. I saw the hollow swimming in his eyes as he fought against it.

"Stop fighting him," I growled, my voice low, possessive. "I want all of you, both sides of you."

And he gave in. The change was immediate as he flipped us, his hands holding my hips bruisingly tight. He bit down on my lip, making me moan and arch into him, my hungry nails raking down his back. He growled lowly, the sound feral and dark… and causing a shiver of pure arousal to rip through me as I kissed him hard. My own shirt was quickly torn as he tossed the remnants aside, his hips gyrating against mine, making me gasp and moan, making my hips answer every sinful thrust, every teasing movement.

His mouth left mine to descend down my neck, biting ravenously at the base, making me cry out in pleasure, arching hard against him.

"Gods, yes!"

His hands soon tore my skirt away as well, throwing it aside with rapid haste. I was wildly thrusting my hips against his, desperately needing him, making him hiss and curse my name in a low, feral growl.

"Shinji, please!" I begged. He didn't even bother unfastening his own pants, tossing the shreds aside as he returned to me. As I tore away his boxers, he hungrily shredded my silken panties. Feeling that stiff rod against my heated, soaked flesh, was driving me crazy. With a low growl of impatience, I rolled us, taking command of this encounter once more, thrusting that length deep inside me in seconds. We both moaned at the sensation, him throwing his head back, baring his neck for my hungry mouth. Every bite, every lick… it only seemed to increase his pleasure… as if the near-frantic thrusts of my sex on his cock weren't.

Abruptly, he rolled me and took charge, his thrusts rough and fast. The grip he had on my hips was definitely leaving bruises, but I didn't care, answering his every thrust with one of my own.

"F-fuck…"

His voice was deep, a chorus of two… and I knew I had him, my blood knew I had him!

"Shinji…" I growled lowly, then met his animalistic gaze with my own. "Mine!"

And I sank my teeth into the juncture between his shoulder and his neck, making him roar out, the sound entirely inhuman as he came hard, pumping me full of his seed. As his blood spilled into my mouth, I swallowed it all, licking his wound, sucking on it. After a few minutes, he grabbed a handful of my hair and jerked my head back, exposing my own neck to him.

"Mine," he hissed and sank his teeth in. I screamed his name to the heavens, my vision going white as my orgasm ripped through me. When I finally came out of the ecstasy-induced euphoria, I was trembling, shaking in his arms. I could still feel the orgasm as if it was still coursing through me. He wasn't even attempting to hold himself up right now, letting himself lay on me, breathing hard.

"What… the hell… was that?" he asked breathlessly. I chuckled softly and ran my fingers through his shortened hair soothingly.

"That was my alpha claiming his beta," I answered softly. "I've been fighting my instincts around you for far too long… and I knew your hollow would only fight you harder the further we progressed intimately. A hollow will always be driven to claim what belongs to them."

"While I take a breather… tell me everything," he said softly and I chuckled, enjoying the fact that he was worn out.

"Let me show you instead," I answered.


	28. A Sea of Memories

"Let me show you instead," I answered, then concentrated… and the memory of me explaining everything to Jushiro played through not only my mind, but his as well.

Flashback

"Come with me," he said softly… and I did. I let him lead me away from the court guard squads and to a small, quiet home, his home away from the office. "Now… what is troubling you? I don't need to know the details… but I've found that simply talking it out with someone else can help."

I gave him a wry smile.

"Even if none of what I say is about to make sense?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Yes," he answered softly. "Even then."

 _Can I trust you, Jushiro… or will you leave me, too?_

I looked down at my lap as we sat down, Jushiro handing me cup of tea.

"Whatever you say will stay between us," he assured me gently.

"No matter what?" I asked. "Even if it goes against everything you stand for, the laws you uphold?"

He gave a moment's pause, making that feeling of fear course through me once more.

"Akalia… you have my word," he told me, his voice serious. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

I sighed heavily.

"It's not what I've gotten into… it's what I've always been part of," I admitted softly, taking a sip to calm my nerves. Kouga had always had utmost respect for Jushiro, saying he was a man that followed his own star, chose heart over duty, and truth over lies.

Softly, he clasped my shaking hand in his own. I couldn't look up at him, didn't dare… as I let all my secrets pour out at once, knowing that if a single person overheard, my life would end.

"I have been deceiving everyone I know," I began softly. "I want to believe that it's to keep them safe… but in my heart, I know it's for my own selfish desire to not lose anyone I care about that I stay silent… I am not who they think I am, not even a little…"

Jushiro said not a word, just waited patiently.

"I was born over eleven hundred years ago, born on the day when all power in the world vanished for a day," I explained, feeling his shock through his hand on mine. "I was born in Hueco Mundo to one of the four Kings, to Karurosu Dragomir, and his mate, Arisu, daughter of the Spirit King. My father rules the kingdom of Tierra Rica. It's a haven for those that, like my father, fell in love with humans or Soul Reapers… where many, like me, are born. I am a Halfling, born half-hollow, half-soul. But I was born with a great and terrible power. When an enemy of my father tried to use me for his own purpose, he learned for himself that I could not control that power any more than he could… and everything around that poor fool was destroyed, wiped clean from existence."

I paused, letting that sink in.

"Fearing for my life and the safety of others around me, my parents took me to my Ada, my grandfather," I went on. "He then told my parents of a prophesy that had been written over eleven thousand years ago. It spoke of a child born of both worlds, born on the day that all magic and energies would die. It said that this child would be blessed with great power… and cursed with it as well… and would either use that power one day to save the entire universe… or destroy it."

I could hear his heart racing, could practically hear his mind racing as well.

"Ada, after much discussion, sealed my powers away," I spoke softly. "But he warned that would not be enough. Over time, the seal would crack and my power would return. In the reiatsu-rich world of Hueco Mundo, the seal would only break faster… so I could no longer reside there, not until I learned to control my power… however long that took. My parents made the difficult decision to let me go, asking Ada to send me somewhere, to someone, that would keep me safe. Ada took me to a hollow, asking him to take me to a family in the Rukon district of the Soul Society, asking that I be left with them to be raised. That hollow and I… were then thrust 700 years into the future, far from the warring times of the past, where my mind would perceive few, if not no threats at all. At that time, he took me to the family… but disobeyed orders and retrieved their son, taking us both back to Hueco Mundo, far from my father's lands. There, he raised us both. For 400 years, we lived with him, learning our power and how to control it. Every time my seal got weak, the hollow would place some of his own energy into the seal, strengthening it. Over time, my once sapphire eyes turned red, the seal no longer a clear cover within them, but a vibrant storm of power that constantly surged forth, desperate to be freed."

I hung my head, feeling tears stinging my eyes.

"In my arrogance, I left the perimeter of his shield, of his constant barrier around our home," I pressed on, feeling those tears slide down my cheeks and land on my hands. "My father's enemies sensed me… and attacked. The hollow gave his life that day… to save mine. With the last of his energy, he sent Kit and I through a garganta into the living world… All those years… and I betrayed him to his death…"

Jushiro lightly squeezed my hand comfortingly, dragging me back to the present and out of my memories. I wiped away my tears and forced myself onward.

"It was here, in the living world, that Kit and I met Sosuke Aizen," I pressed on. "He convinced us both to come live in the Soul Society, though he knew nothing about us. After a year of visits and soft, kind recommendations, Kit decided to become a Soul Reaper… and I couldn't leave him, not now… so I followed."

I paused and pulled Durnehviir over my lap.

"This is not a real zanpakuto," I admitted further. "Durnehviir… is the manifestation of the power that was sealed away… and I have only just begun to control it. I know so little, barely a thousandth of what I'm truly capable of… and I fear that if I don't learn it, that I'll end up hurting someone I care about… Since I came to the Soul Society, hell, since I came to the living world, I've suppressed my hollow blood, choosing not to use that power, lest others learn the truth… and condemn me for it… That… I could not bear that…"

I shook my head softly.

"But the longer I am here, the more people I come to care about… the more that blood awakens," I admitted softly. "I fear I won't be able to hide all this much longer… and I don't know who to trust… and the ones I want to trust… I don't want to lose…"

And I was crying again. Jushiro's hand slid from mine and I felt white-hot pain of rejection sweep through me, making me weep even more.

 _I knew it! He hates me! I'm a monster! He—huh?_

Abruptly, I found myself pulled into a hug, two arms wrapping around me, a warm chest and a soft, soothing heartbeat next to my ear… and I hugged him back, letting myself cry.

 _He… he didn't leave me…_

"Then what is your real name?" he asked softly.

"Vasilysa, Vasilysa Dragomir," I answered, my gratitude in my voice. "Jushiro… please… don't tell anyone about this…"

"I gave you my word, Vasilysa," he reminded me, his voice gentle, not giving away any of his thoughts. "I think you've been through enough as it is."

I clung to him, feeling a strange warmth slowly permeate my body.

"Thank you," I whispered. "After… after I lost Kit… I didn't have anyone I could talk to… anyone that knew… I was terrified…"

"I think the fear of being alone is shared by everyone," he pointed out. "Your fears of rejection and the disdain of your loved ones is understandable… as is your fear of telling the truth to them, considering they would be forced to choose between duty and heart… and be condemned as a traitor for knowing, if they chose to go with heart, if you were ever exposed."

Hearing him speak my thoughts brought me such calm, such relief.

 _I knew you would understand, Jushiro…_

 **No, you didn't. You gambled. You should be grateful I can erase memories. If this had ended badly, it wasn't like you didn't have a back-up plan.**

I scowled at my zanpakuto and Jushiro chuckled.

"Durnehviir certainly knows how to get your ire," he commented, making me smile in an annoyed way.

"He's just really good at making me sound like a child," I admitted ruefully. Again, the older man chuckled.

"Akalia, do you really love Captain Hirako?" he asked softly. I gave another rueful smile.

"A Halfling can only love once, can only give their hearts fully to one person," I explained. "A broken heart… is fatal to us. Our heart is what keeps us human, keeps us sane. Should it break, our hollow blood will rise and devour us, turning us into mindless killing machines that are very hard to kill… and twice as powerful as most hollows. Can we stave off turning, yes, but we can only buy time… and the reason we hold off would have to be near and dear to our hearts… but even that is no guarantee. Sooner or later, the hollow would take us… I have already given my heart to Shinji… but I fight my instincts around him a lot."

I shook my head sadly.

"To act on any of them, even just one, would be to unleash all the others…"

"And would reveal what you are to him," Jushiro finished, understanding. "I see…"

"In Hueco Mundo, there are Alphas and Betas," I explained further, really needing him to understand this. "Since Betas, female hollows, are so rare, there are many Alphas for each Beta… but there is only _one_ Beta for each Alpha. Both will be drawn to one another, though they won't understand why… Shinji is one of my Alphas… but so is Kensei Muguruma. I felt that, figured it out, during that seven-minutes-in-heaven game we played. My hollow blood reacted so strongly… I could not control it… And the hollow that raised me… he was also one of my Alphas. I doubt he realized I knew, though… He never spoke of it… so neither did I."

I paused to breathe.

"I knew Shinji on first sight… though I didn't know _how_ I knew him until later."

"Your blood recognized him," Jushiro stated, understanding. I nodded softly. "Is there anything more?"

I debated, but then decided just to tell him.

"Kouga isn't dead," I revealed, surprising him again. "Ada created a link between our Souls, a door in my Soul Room, that allows me to see him, speak to him, hold him close twice a month. I discovered it shortly after I first stepped into my house…"

Jushiro's eyes widened in realization.

"You… weren't coming back from a drunken mishap…"

I shook my head.

"Then you… and Kouga…"

I nodded softly.

"I couldn't tell just anyone that… so I had to lie," I admitted, my guilt in my voice. "To make something that had been so wonderful… into something so horrendous… It's awful!"

I shook my head ruefully.

"But how could I tell the truth?" I thought aloud. "However… I soon found that I didn't love Kouga that way… my heart belonged to Shinji… and he understood. He has never once been angry with me over that… and I have one last power that only Shinji knows about… I can see things before they happen… but I never know exactly when they will happen… just that they will… And I can't control when I get them, gods I wish I could! And I can't see myself… yet. Durnehviir says I'll be able to… if it really matters. Otherwise, I cannot."

Jushiro was shaking his head in wonder.

"You have a very heavy plate, child," he told me, then frowned. "On second thought, I think I may have to take that back. Eleven hundred years… is nearly my own age, given a few extra years."

I chuckled.

"Technically, I'm missing 700 years of life there," I reminded him. "I'm only four hundred years lived… so I'd still be a child to you."

That got a chuckle out of him.

"Very well," he agreed. "You also look exceptionally young for your age…"

"Halflings only mature until their peak," I explained. "Then they never age again. If they are not killed, they will live forever."

"I see," he said. "I also assume that you don't use your name out of a need for safety?"

I nodded.

"There are still hollows that will make the connection… and several older Soul Reapers and those that work in the hall of records," I answered. "Akalia Sapphirano is very near and dear to my heart… because the hollow that raised me gave me that name… just as I gave him his."

Jushiro gave another soft smile.

"You really hold that hollow dear to your heart, don't you?" he asked. I nodded, smiling softly, a twinge of pain in my heart as I recalled his loss. "Well, my dear, you've given me a lot to think about… but I assure you that no one will hear this from me."

I smiled softly.

"I'm glad… I could trust you, Jushiro," I admitted softly. "Kouga always thought so highly of you… and I now see why. Thank you."

He nodded and we sat in silence, finishing our tea, lost in our own thoughts. Mine were no longer in turmoil, my mind and heart at peace for the first time in months.

End Flashback

I opened my eyes and looked over at him hesitantly, nervously… one look at his face said our bond meant he felt it all, all of my fear and concern. Almost immediately, I felt my body fill with warmth, with soothing and love… his love… and I finally relaxed completely.

Knowing that wasn't everything, I sent him the memory of what happened the day he became a Visord.

Flashback

The opening of the door the next morning had both Rangiku and I rushing towards it. However, to my greater terror, only Gin had returned. Behind him… was Sosuke and Kaname. Sosuke appeared deeply saddened by something.

"Akalia—"

"Where is he?!" I demanded, frantically cutting Sosuke off as I grabbed the front of his robes. "Where is Shinji?!"

"Akalia… he… he didn't make it," Sosuke told me. I released him in my shock, stumbling back from him.

"Akalia!" Gin and Rangiku said, quickly moving to grab my hands. Quickly, I shook them off, feeling my heart shatter within my breast.

"Stay away!" I commanded them both, instantly causing Gin's eyes to open in alarm… and Rangiku to approach me in pure confusion. "Rangiku, away from me!"

I clutched my head, feeling my blood start to boil. A scream tore from my throat, tore from my very heart, the sound changing to something like an inhuman roar! All around me, my energy fluctuated wildly, turning black with its poison!

"What's happening?!" Rangiku demanded, horrified.

"It can't be!" Sosuke was saying, horror in his own voice. Abruptly, the doors were thrown wide open, a white-haired captain rushing towards me. He wrapped his arms around me tightly as I screamed.

"Not now, Vasilysa!" Jushiro yelled to me, trying to be heard over my roaring. My skin was hardening, the burning spreading through me like a wildfire. "Don't you dare give in! Vasilysa! Who am I?! Tell me my name!"

"Ju… JUSHIRO!"

My monstrous roar was accompanied by another dark pulse of power, nearly causing Rangiku to faint as she looked on in horror.

"Listen to me!" he yelled at me again. "Listen! You told me you can hold off if you had but a powerful reason! Buy that time! If not for yourself, then do it for the two lives you carry!"

"What is he talking about?!" Rangiku was crying. "What is happening to Akalia?!"

Two lives… Children…

"M-my… children…"

Abruptly, all my strength vanished… and I sank into darkness.

End Flashback

I felt him tense at that revelation… but pushed on before he could ask questions. This time, I showed him the aftermath and the talk I'd had with Ada in the fourth division.

Flashback

The soft sounds of people whispering woke me slowly. Blinking to get used to the sunlight streaming into my room, I saw Gin, Rangiku, and Sosuke by my bed.

"Guys?" I asked, making all three sets of eyes fly to me.

"Akalia!" they all three chorused, rushing over to me. Rangiku was in my arms in seconds and I took a look around. I was in the fourth…

"Sosuke… where is Jushiro?" I asked.

"He told us to bring you here until you woke, to keep your children healthy," he told me. "They were absorbing your reiatsu to the point that you had to be given some."

I smiled ruefully.

"That always happens with my kind," I said softly, realizing they knew my secret now. "That is why we have to stay with those that have energy to spare, to keep them stabilized…"

I slipped open my robe, much to the blush of Sosuke and Gin… until they saw where my heart was.

"What the…" Sosuke said, reaching forward to feel the start of my hollow-hole, a mere pinkie-sized hole at the top of the circle it would soon become.

"That is my timer," I told him. "With every passing day, that hole will grow. When it is fully grown, I will become a hollow… I won't have a choice."

I looked at the bed sadly.

"I need to be alone for a few so I can speak with Ada," I said softly. "I need answers… and only he can provide them."

They all nodded and took their leave, letting me be alone for a while.

"Ada… answer me," I said softly… then waited and listened.

- _I am here, child. I know what you seek._ –

I sighed.

~ _What am I going to do? I promised Kouga I would be there when he was freed… and now… my babies… I can't raise them here, in the Soul Society…_ ~

- _Calm yourself, child. Do you really think I didn't know what was going on, that I was not paying attention? I have a plan of what to do… but you won't like it. It will involve leaving the ones you still love behind you… for a time._ –

I paused.

Time. That was the key word here.

~ _You mean…_ ~

- _Yes. I will send you into the future towards the time when Kouga will be freed so you can keep your promise to him._ –

~ _But my babies…_ ~

- _Will be safe… when raised away from the Soul Society, though that is completely unnecessary. As you were not raised by your parents, I guess it falls to me to explain this to you. Halflings can only be born to a hollow and a soul. There is no other way. Halflings cannot birth more Halflings. If this was the case, there would be more mixed bloods than purebloods these days. Vasilysa, your children will be souls, just like their father._ –

He paused, letting me absorb that.

- _However, if you were to accept a hollow as your alpha, your children would be born hollows._ –

~ _What about a Halfling and another Halfling?_ ~

- _Fifty-fifty chance of the children being either a soul or a hollow. The odds of getting a hollow are more prominent if it is the hollow half that is more dominant during the mating. However, if both sides manage to remain equal throughout… well, the child will be a soul… with hollow powers._ –

I frowned.

- _Do you still want to leave the Soul Society behind you when you arrive in the future?_ –

I nodded.

- _Then seek out Kisuke Urahara in Karakura Town. He will guide you on where to go… and do not think to exclude any facts of your life from him. He will not help you if you are not completely honest with him._ –

I sighed heavily, feeling the ache in my heart… and rested my hand on it.

~ _When and where I go… won't really matter soon enough…_ ~

He chuckled at me.

- _We'll see... and, my dear, please do not be angry with Gin. He is doing what he must to protect the one he loves. His heart is in the right place... though his actions and thoughts are truly not. Do forgive him._ –

Then he left. As soon as he was gone, I started writing two letters. One for Rangiku and Gin, my beloved children… and one for Ginrei, explaining everything to him so he would understand. Once they were finished, I sat back.

~ _I'm ready, Ada… Send me away._ ~

 _Gin… Rangiku… please forgive me…_

End Flashback

I let it all fall silent as he absorbed all of that. His hand was on my chest, halfway through that memory, feeling where my hole had once been… now only skin remained, a small dent showing how close I'd been to becoming a hollow permanently.

"He sent you here…"

"Knowing I would find you," I finished softly. "And that you… would save me."

I paused, feeling the uncertainty in his mind and sighed, pulling up another memory for him, the day the boys had been born.

Flashback

"They're so tiny," I said softly, cradling them to me.

"What are their names?" asked Isshin, ready to take them down.

"Enra and Yukiya Hirako," Ichigo and I chorused, much to the surprise of his family. I chuckled.

"I told him a while back," I explained. Isshin smiled and then left to get some more paperwork done. After he left, there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in!"

"Aww!" Yoruichi said, swooping in to look at the babes. I smiled and held out Enra to her, which she gladly took. I handed Yukiya to Kisuke, making him look nervous. I giggled, getting a dirty look from the older man.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"You're holding Yukiya," I answered. "She's holding Enra."

That made them smile softly.

"They're perfect names," they told me. I smiled softly, very tired and relieved that things went off without a hitch. Then I saw Kisuke's cheek. It was very dark from a recent bruise. I frowned but, before I could ask about it, Enra started crying.

"Here," I said, holding my hands out.

"Feeding time?" Yoruichi asked, handing him to me. Kisuke, wisely, looked elsewhere as I got Enra attached. I smiled softly, wincing at first. Isshin had warned me that nursing would hurt the first few times until I got used to it. He'd been right.

"What are you going to do about school?" she asked me. I smiled softly.

"I have the next two weeks off to recover," I answered. "Then I have special permissions to bring them to school with me until they're old enough for daycare, age one and a half."

She nodded, noting that both boys were born with full heads of bright, blonde hair, just like their father's.

"There's so much of _him_ in them," I said softly, a bit sadly.

"Definitely the hair," Kisuke joked, making me chuckle. "Mind if I get a picture?"

I shrugged and held both of my boys, Yoruichi slipping out of the picture before he took it, making me chuckle at his light blush, realizing Enra had been attached to my tit at the time.

That's when I felt it. I tensed immediately and so did Kisuke and Yoruichi. A very tense, very loud knock came on the door. I didn't even need to look over to see the disbelieving and furious face of Hiyori Sarugaki.

"Hiyori…" I greeted softly, somewhat worried… then puzzled it out and glared at Kisuke. "How _dare_ you! I _told_ you not to tell him!"

"You're lucky Shinji didn't believe him," Hiyori snapped, only keeping her voice calm for the benefit of my babes as she forced her feet forward, towards the bed. One look at the babes and her eyes widened, then narrowed at me. "Explain."

"Ichigo, let's give them some space," Kisuke said, taking hold of his collar and pulling him out of the room. Yuzu and Karin went with, seeming to understand the unspoken command. I sighed, once it was just her and me.

"Wanna hold Yukiya?" I asked softly. After a bit of fidgeting, Hiyori nodded uncomfortably.

"This doesn't mean I've forgiven you for doing this to Shinji," she told me crossly, but took the baby. I corrected her hold once and she relaxed moments later, looking down into his eyes. Her face softened, an expression I had not seen on her face except twice.

"I found out I was pregnant the day that incident happened," I began to explain. "I wanted to tell Shinji, but he got called to the emergency captain's meeting… and then I never got the chance…"

I sighed and pulled aside my shirt to show her the hole.

"What the hell?!"

"I was born half-hollow," I continued. "When I gave my whole heart to Shinji, it shattered when I thought he was dead. I was told he was… and nearly hollowfied myself… This hole is my timer. When it reaches its full size, I will become a mindless killing machine, not at all like a normal hollow and much harder to kill, as all Halflings do when they lose their hearts. I only have roughly two years left…"

I paused.

"I knew I was dying and knew my children would also be half-hollow… so I left the Soul Society," I pressed on. "My Ada took things a step further and sent me 100 years into the future."

Her eyes widened for a moment.

"When you vanished!" she said. I nodded.

"I haven't told Shinji I was alive or here or even pregnant… because I couldn't bear to—"

"Put him through the pain of losing you again," she finished. I nodded sadly.

"Once a turning starts, it cannot be stopped… or at least it has never done so ever before," I added. "And I couldn't ask Shinji to watch that nor be there when it happened."

She sighed.

"You're an idiot," she told me. "A real special kind of stupid."

I laughed softly.

"What a Hiyori response," I teased. She rolled her eyes, barely resisting the urge to hit me.

"He's going to find out," she told me simply.

"And I'll deal with the repercussions when that time comes if I'm still here to do so," I replied. She gave me a hard to read look for a few moments, then looked away.

"Your secret's safe with me," she told me. "I'll let that stubborn ass find out on his own."

I smiled softly.

"Thanks, Hiyori," I told her.

"Che, don't thank me," she snapped. "I'm doing this for Shinji, not for you."

"I understand," I told her, then frowned softly. "Have you… have you managed to come to terms with that night?"

"We're in control, if that's what you mean," she answered. "We'd all love a piece of Aizen, too."

"Yes… Gin told me," I admitted, surprising her. "He told me it was Sosuke that did this…"

She scowled, then handed me Yukiya.

"What's the other's name?" she asked.

"Enra," I answered softly.

"You'd best take damn good care of them," she told me shortly.

"I will," I promised. She spared the two babes another soft look before taking her leave. Once she was gone, I gave a huge sigh of relief and relaxed. Ichigo, Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin came back in, but Yoruichi and Kisuke were nowhere to be found.

"They left," Isshin explained at my curious look. I nodded, accepting that. Enra finished eating and Yukiya then latched on, eating his fill.

"Who was that girl?" asked Ichigo. I gave him a worn smile.

"An old friend," I answered softly. "One I never thought I'd see again."

End Flashback

I gave him a few seconds to absorb the fact that I had no intention of telling him I was alive or about the boys… then knew I needed to show him what changed my mind.

Flashback

The warmth of a hug drew me from my thoughts, surprising me at Isshin's unexpected kindness. Softly, I hugged him back… then let my tears fall. I wept in that moment, wept for everything I had lost, wept for everyone I missed… wept for Byakuya whose heart may never heal… It took me a few minutes to realize that he was crying, too, letting himself mourn Masaki yet again. We all shared a mutual suffering, a similar pain… the loss of our other half…

I cried until I had no tears left, my cheeks stinging from the salt and the wetness, my breathing ragged and shaking.

"Get some rest," he told me gently. "I don't want to push the subject, this being the last time I will bring this up, but keep this in mind, okay? Byakuya and I lost our spouses entirely. They can't come back. They're gone for good, for all time. You lost Shinji, yes, but he is not gone forever. He's still here, close enough to touch… If I were you and I had the chance to be with my loved one again… I wouldn't hesitate. When he finally comes to you… don't hesitate. I promise, he still loves you as you love him. You may not have much time left… but you will never regret the time you spend with him until the end."

Then he hugged me once more before taking his leave, letting me think over what he said. It was the first time anyone had put it to me like that… and I unconsciously reached out towards Hiyori. She was angry, furious even. I sensed the others there… and then I sensed him.

Once again, I fought my energy, fought it so it wouldn't react to his presence. From Hiyori's energy, I gathered that he and Hiyori were fighting over his visa again. He did NOT want to give it to her… so I casually asked permission… and she allowed me to hear and see the whole thing as it happened.

"I'm not giving you my card so you can spend it on crap you don't need!" he told her, getting downright aggravated. My jaw dropped in shock.

~ _WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS HAIR?!_ ~

Durnehviir, Rose, and Hiyori all snickered mentally at me.

"It's not for me, dumbass!" she yelled at him. "It's for—"

She caught herself just in time.

"It's for a friend that needs it," she finished, forcing herself to calm down… which surprised Shinji. Hiyori never forced her temper away. "Please Shinji… You know I wouldn't be this adamant about it if it wasn't necessary…"

"Then why don't you ask Kensei or Love?" he asked. "They have jobs, too, you know."

"It can't be us," Kensei answered. That told me that Hiyori had revealed to the others why she had demanded Shinji's card. "It has to be you."

"Why me?" Shinji demanded, getting more and more frustrated. "Dammit! What aren't you all telling me?!"

"It's not our place to tell you," Rose answered firmly. "Just trust us when we say if we did this instead of you, you'd hate us for it in the long run."

That just made Shinji's scowl deepen. How desperately I wanted to soothe that temper, to push aside that frown…

* _STOP THAT! I'M NOT GONNA KISS THE GUY SO STOP MAKING ME WANT TO!_ *

I flushed and forced my emotions under control again.

"Just give it to her, Shinji," Lisa said, exasperated. "She won't bankrupt you."

~ _I hope not…_ ~

I started adding up the prices of the items I'd need and winced.

- _He has more than that stored away._ – Rose assured me. - _He's had 100 years to work without really needing to spend his money._ –

I sighed, but accepted that they were probably right. Still didn't make me feel any better about this. I began to argue with myself over whether or not to tell him the truth or to let it lie… and an unexpected voice answered me.

 **Do not concern yourself, Master. It will be revealed within the next two months anyway.**

~ _How would you know, Durnehviir?_ ~

 **Your Ada told me.**

I froze… so did Hiyori and Rose. I could feel their surprise, their uncertainty.

 **Hiyori, you must convince Shinji to do this… no matter what it takes. He will be most displeased to find out Sosuke offered.**

That sent shock through Rose, telling me Hiyori hadn't mentioned that little detail. A bit of guilt seeped through our bond as I thought about it.

"What the hell are you two hiding?" Shinji demanded, looking from Hiyori to Rose. He'd seen the entire myriad of emotions that had crossed their faces during our little exchange. Without meaning to, Isshin's words came back to me and I accidentally sent them through the bond.

" _You may not have much time left… but you will never regret the time you spend with him until the end._ "

I closed my eyes, feeling a new emotion wash over me.

~ _Ada knew… that's why he sent me this far into the future…_ ~

Neither Hiyori nor Rose could answer me, both dodging the glare Shinji was giving them.

"Fine," Shinji snapped. "Don't answer me! Here's the fucking card!"

He chucked it at Hiyori's head and flashed out, furious. My heart ached, seeing him like that.

~ _Shinji…_ ~

* _You're both idiots._ *

Then Hiyori broke the connection, forcing my energy away from her. Through Rose, I saw her storm out, herself. I sighed.

- _I'm going to pay you a visit. Do you mind?_ –

I shook my head softly… then pulled my energy back, making sure to erase all trace of it from the air around him. It took him less than twenty minutes to get across town to my window. I let him in without a word, letting him sit at my desk.

"Akalia… or Vasilysa… I don't really care what your name is anymore," he admitted, his eyes hard. "Why are you putting Hiyori and Shinji through this?"

So, I caught him up to speed, showing him how much my hole had grown in the past week alone. I was rapidly running out of time. My grief, having Shinji so near but desperately keeping him away, was only causing me to die faster. I knew this… but I refused to admit it aloud or let anyone else know that.

"Kisuke said my time has grown much shorter," I finished explaining. "I will perish… in four months."

Rose was completely taken back.

"That soon?" he asked, struggling to comprehend this. "What happened to two years?"

I looked away, my pain on my face.

"I don't know… but I can't get it to slow down… I've tried," I admitted. "Rose… I can't. I can't do this to Shinji… having two years left with him was one thing… but four months?"

I felt my heart ache painfully again, reaching my hand up to clutch it. Tears stung my eyes.

"And now… it doesn't matter anyway… Durnehviir said two months from now… that's September… the beginning of next term…"

I shook my head, feeling tears slipping down my cheeks.

"How can life be that cruel…"

Softly, Rose pulled me into a hug.

"Will you regret the time you will spend with him?" he asked me, sounding just like Isshin.

"No… and yes," I answered. "The lasting effects—"

"Forget about the damned consequences for a moment," he said sternly, pulling back and forcing me to look at him. "If you focus only on the time you spend with him, will you regret it?"

My heart already knew the answer to that.

"No," I said softly. "I will not."

"Then at the start of the new term, you WILL face Shinji," he told me firmly. "You WILL spend your last months with him and you WILL be happy… if even for only a while. It's better than seeing you both utterly miserable."

I frowned.

"Do you have any idea what he was like after Aizen betrayed us?" he asked me. I shook my head. "All he thought about was you. All he wanted to do was race back to the Soul Society to get you! He nearly lost the battle with his hollow because his hollow got him to believe you would never want him, never love him, as the monster he had become! Your name became taboo! The mere mention was enough to send his temper through the roof or send him into a complete emotional shutdown. When Kisuke sent the note, telling him you were alive, he flew into a rage and attacked Kisuke, furious that he would deceive him so! Vasilysa, he still loves you, very deeply… and I can't watch him suffer anymore. At least, knowing the time limit… he'll get to say goodbye this time. This time… he won't have to wonder where you are or if you're even still alive… He will finally be able to be at peace."

His words hit me hard, causing a fresh wave of tears as I realized just how selfish I had been. I had been both selfish and cruel… and Shinji was the one paying for it!

"He's not the monster… I am…" I wept, letting Rose hug me again. "Oh god… Shinji…"

My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. All the pain and anguish I had fought against for so long came back hard like a slap in the face. Was I really ready to face Shinji, to face my own fears? No. But I couldn't be selfish anymore.

I needed him. I needed him like the very air I breathed… and I had been hurting us both, suffocating myself because of all these ridiculous fears! I felt so stupid… and so guilty… and not knowing how to deal with those emotions… I just cried.

End Flashback

Then I decided he deserved that last little bit I knew… the reason why he and the others had been attacked in the first place. A little nervous, I struggled to reveal it… but finally pushed it through.

Flashback

Then I pulled away, leaving Shinji to his thoughts.

"That was risky."

I jumped, my eyes snapping open to see Kisuke sitting across from me.

"He could have chosen to battle that hollow rather than listen, you know," he stated. I smiled softly.

"Clearly, you know nothing of hollows," I told him simply, getting him to look at me from under his hat. "His hollow recognized his beta, even if he did not realize it was me, exactly. He would not turn me away. A hollow can no more ignore their beta than they can stop desiring more power. It is part of who they are. Even against their will, they will be drawn to it and respond to it. It is much harder on an alpha to contain that bond than it is on a beta."

"I thought you said you didn't want him to know about you," he put in, his words cautious. I smiled softly.

"You can thank Rose for getting something through my thick skull," I answered. "In one month, whether I like it or not, Ada has decided to take the choice from me entirely. Ready or not, I _will_ see him and have to face him. Ada has made damn sure of that."

The silence was peaceful.

"Ichigo's hollow will need trained," I went on. "They will have to meet… and in one month, they will approach him. When that time comes…"

"You will be forced face-to-face with Hirako," Tessai put in, coming out of the kitchen with some tea.

"Thank you, Tessai," I said softly. "And yes."

I took a sip from the offered cup.

"Only Ada knows how that meeting will go," I commented softly. "But… with only three months left… I really don't have room to complain."

The silence fell again.

"You're worried about them, aren't you?" I asked softly, glancing over at Kisuke. Slowly, he nodded.

"Ten days is not enough time to truly prepare someone," he answered. I chuckled.

"Relax," I told him. "I assure you, they'll be fine. Sosuke's been sending me updates since I asked for them. They're all alive and fine. They'll come back in one piece."

"And you trust Sosuke's reports?" he asked me, his voice low. I chuckled.

"Of course not," I answered. "I've been collaborating his reports with Rangiku's and Gin's. Rangiku knows only what the Soul Society knows. Sosuke tells me only what he wants me to know. Gin is my filter. He knows everything… and since we're both aiming for the same goal, he leaves nothing out."

"The same goal?" Kisuke repeated slowly. I smiled softly.

"To defeat your enemy… you must first make him your friend," I quoted him, surprising him. "Gin, though he acts the traitor, is on our side. Sosuke started this path a long time ago, the day he hurt Rangiku and Gin witnessed it. He swore that day to do what he had to, no matter what it was, to protect her from Sosuke… and to get revenge for that day. I trust Gin with not only my life, but the lives of my children, Ichigo and his family, and everyone else."

"You want revenge on Sosuke?" he asked me, seeming surprised. I lost my smile, a dark, bitter look coming to my face.

"If it wasn't for Sosuke, Shinji and I would probably still be in the Soul Society, married, and have a lot more children than these two," I answered softly. "Shinji was not the only one that lost everything that day. Gin told me everything, everything he knew. Sosuke is the one that convinced the captains to turn on Kouga. Sosuke is the one that told Kit where to find Shinji and I that last night of training before he went off the deep end. Sosuke is the one that took Shinji from me. He has been behind it all."

I paused.

"And I'd be a fool if I didn't know why," I continued quietly. "Up until Shinji was taken from me, he had no concept of what I was, of what would happen to me. He never stopped apologizing to me in the hospital while I struggled to awaken. I heard him, but I couldn't respond… nor could I understand why he was apologizing. Sosuke begged me to come back, begged me to stay with him."

"He loves you," Tessai deduced, his tone shocked. I nodded softly.

"I knew about his true feelings for me since that seven-minutes-in-heaven," I admitted, surprising them. "But my heart already belonged to Shinji… and I could not and would not take it back."

"Is Sosuke—"

"No," I cut Kisuke off. "He is not my alpha. He just simply fell in love. No draw. No bond… just pure, untainted love… Love that became obsession and a desire to keep me for himself… until he realized he could not. Now, while his feelings still remain (strong as ever), he has contented himself with the knowledge that I cannot love him how he wants nor deserves… but I can be his friend. That has become enough for him… for now."

I paused.

"Gin thinks Sosuke is seeking the Spirit King's power… so he can take my heart back from Shinji by force, both saving my life and freeing me from him."

"Freeing you for the taking," Kisuke finished my thought. His eyes were troubled as he realized just how badly messed up this whole thing was. "He targeted Shinji on purpose… just to get him away from you… and the others were just in the wrong place at the wrong time!"

I nodded again.

"He targeted Kensei as well," I pointed out. "Due to how he openly pursued me even while I was clearly _with_ Shinji. It really irritated Sosuke and frustrated him. There was yet another obstacle in his path that needed removed."

Kisuke closed his eyes, realizing just how well the puzzle was coming together. He was shaking his head, struggling to wrap his mind around this emotion-based calamity.

"So… he means to target anyone that gets close to you… so all you have left, is him…"

I nodded.

"Ulquiorra, while one of my alphas, is not a threat, as he and I mutually agreed to never pursue that kind of relationship," I continued. "As long as he continues to serve Sosuke faithfully, he will be spared."

Kisuke was struggling to wrap his head around all this, struggling to come to terms with it. I knew it was a lot to absorb. It had taken me a while to understand it, myself.

End Flashback

I then just laid there, relaxing under him, letting my heart sync up with his, smelling that sweet, delicious scent that was all him. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of the love of my life on me. He was heavy, but not uncomfortable. I knew he was struggling to come to terms with all this and debated if I should let him think for a bit, debated leaving his side for a bit…

The tightening of his arms around me told me he'd heard my thoughts… and vetoed them completely.

"You're staying right here," he told me, his voice unyielding and raw with emotions he was barely able to sort through. "I am never letting go of you again."

I felt such love and such warmth for this man flood its way through me, heard him gasp as he felt it.

"When you bit me, you claimed me, marked me as your own for all to know," I explained softly. "Now, we are bonded. While the bond is still new (roughly the next fifty years), we'll both feel each other's emotions and hear stray thoughts. After the so-called honeymoon stage, that bond won't be so open… unless we choose for it to be… and one last thing. You recall what I told Jushiro about a halfling's lifespan, yes?"

He nodded, his brown eyes going to mine curiously.

"This bond… binds your soul to mine," I finished. Seeing the confusion in his gaze I expanded with a grin. "You will never age again and won't die until you are killed… or I die."

That surprised him yet again. I chuckled and stole a sweet kiss, one he gladly returned.

~ _I love you, Shinji._ ~

- _I love you, too._ –

* * *

 **And there you have it. The secrets you've been dying to know... and a few you still do not know. Please let me know how I'm doing and any questions left unanswered. Within the next few chapters, you will come to understand what this bond is and you will get an insight into the memories of dearest Shinji, the parts that were never written.**

 **Please send Reviews or PM me!**

 **Viper-Sindel**


	29. Exploring the Bond

~ _I love you, Shinji._ ~

- _I love you, too._ –

I smiled softly and kissed him again. In moments, my chest flooded with heat and I gasped softly, closing my eyes at the sensation… and then hungrily kissed him, answering his call.

- _My call?_ –

I tangled my fingers in his hair, slid my legs around his waist, and rubbed against him, making him swear softly.

~ _Yes. Your call. You'll understand when I am the one calling you… it's hard to explain, but you'll know it when you feel it._ ~

I rolled us, taking his unspoken hints. I couldn't even tell if my thoughts were mine or his anymore, if these were my desires or his… nor did I care. I answered every one of them with all I had.

"Gods, what is this?" he whispered between kisses, his voice hoarse and filled with burning hunger. His hands were everywhere at once, his lips… I just couldn't get enough!

"S-shared p-pleasure," I stammered, getting swept away. His thick rod pulsed between us and I slid him deep inside me, moaning richly at the new ecstasy flooding my mind. Now I _knew_ how this felt to him. Now I _knew_ how much he loved my touch, my taste… and it was driving me wild!

Losing myself completely to the sensation wasn't hard as I gave into need, thrusting hard and fast… but not enough. Hearing that small, unsatisfied thought, he rolled, taking full charge of this, his hips slamming into mine as he drove into me fiercely, claimed me completely. My cries of pure ecstasy echoed off the walls, his own moans and aroused oaths mixing in.

"S-Shinji!" I screamed out, my orgasm coming out of nowhere, sending me spiraling into an endless bliss, my body taken completely by storm.

"V-Vasilysa!" he answered me, his voice wrought with pleasures and emotions he didn't know how to express. I _felt_ his orgasm hit him, _felt_ it overwhelm him… It was complete and utter euphoria, this moment, this time…

When we finally crashed back down to earth, he was laying on me once more, breathless and shaking, his mind struggling to absorb what all he had just experienced, making me chuckle as I struggled to do the same… then just gave up. My chuckles turned into giggles as he started chuckling with me, stealing soft, loving kisses every now and then.

~ _I'm beginning to see why people make such a big deal outta this bonding stuff._ ~

Now he laughed, full-hearted laughter. After a few seconds, I joined in, mirth mixing with undiluted joy in this moment.

Then I heard a phone go off. He groaned in annoyance and grabbed it off the table next to us, answering.

"What?" he snarled, in no mood for interruptions. Gods, he was so delicious when he was like this. The smirk on his features told me he'd heard that thought.

"Why the hell aren't you still at school, dumbass?!"

I giggled, trying to smother it into his shoulder… and failing miserably.

"Don't tell me you took another damned one home!" Hiyori groaned, furious. I quirked a brow at him and he avoided my gaze.

"Another one?" I teased, knowing Hiyori would hear me. Sure enough, she spit out whatever she was drinking, sputtering and coughing.

"Holy shit! Lysa! You're there?!"

"Yeah," I answered, taking the phone. "And my timer's gone."

Softly, I felt Shinji's hand lightly trace the circular dent in my chest, as if to confirm that. His touch made my heart race as I purred softly, enjoying as he placed a soft kiss to it.

"Well damn. You work fast."

I laughed outright.

"I'll get Ichigo, don't worry," he assured Hiyori, taking the phone back before I could start asking her about all those 'other ones' she had spoken of, the grin on his face growing as I pouted.

"You'd better, Shinji," she snapped, then hung up. I giggled.

"Another one…" I prompted. He got uneasy and I smiled softly, kissing him. "Toys or actual attempts to move on?"

"Both," he answered, already knowing that lying was fruitless with our bond. I chuckled softly and he relaxed immensely, knowing what I was going to say before I could say it, realizing I wasn't upset with him.

"I was kind of hoping you'd move on," I admitted, surprising him at the pure honesty of the statement. "I never thought you'd hang onto me for 100 years…"

The unspoken thought was what affected him the most.

~ _I'd never want you to be alone…_ ~

He wrapped his arms around me tightly, just holding me, letting me feel just how much love that statement had caused to surge through him. It warmed me completely, making me close my eyes as it started to overwhelm me. Then I sighed and picked up the phone, dialing the familiar number.

"Oh thank god!" came Ichigo's voice, making me chuckle. I could hear my boys raising hell in the background. "You're out of pumped milk."

I frowned immediately.

"I'll be right there," I told him. "At my home?"

"Yeah," he answered, then paused, hesitating.

"Spit it out," I told him, watching as Shinji started going through various drawers on his dresser, tossing me one of his shirts and one of his pants, both of us dressing quickly.

"You… will explain this… right?"

I smiled softly, my heart warming with my love for this caring, sweet boy.

"Yes," I answered. "I will explain it. Stay put. He's coming with me."

"Alright," he answered, then hung up. After we were both dressed, he told me he'd meet me in the hall. With a smile, I stole a kiss and exited his apartment. Outside, I saw one of his neighbors and smiled softly. It was an elderly lady. She smiled back.

"So… you're the one he's been looking for," she commented, catching me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked, voicing both of our thoughts. She smiled softly.

"I knew you were the one the moment he appeared with you in his arms," she told me. "Had the same look in his eyes as my dear Frank did. All those other girls… he never looked at them like that."

It made me blush, realizing just how perceptive this woman was…or was it Shinji that was embarrassed? I couldn't tell. The old woman chuckled at my expression.

"It's good to finally see that boy happy after all these years," she told me warmly. "Take good care of him."

That I smiled warmly at.

"With pleasure," I answered and she chuckled, walking into her apartment. Shinji came out moments later and we both blushed lightly, then laughed at the absurdity of that expression on our faces. I kissed him tenderly… then led him out the door and flashed us to my apartment. I knocked on the door, hearing my boys still raising hell. It was yanked open in seconds as Ichigo hurried me in. I quickly shed my shirt and attached both boys to my breasts, letting them feed. Ichigo, meanwhile, handed me a small blanket to remain decent with as he then plopped onto the nearby couch, sagging with relief.

~ _How amusing…_ ~

Shinji grinned, but said nothing.

"Explanation time?" I suggested. Ichigo nodded, waiting. I smiled softly at Shinji, then pulled the blanket down enough to show my closed hole. Ichigo's eyes widened in shock as he reached over to feel it for himself. Shinji was barely containing his possessiveness, the fierce need to break Ichigo's hand nearly overwhelming him. I was amused by that, but carefully removed Ichigo's hand from my skin all the same.

"Shinji is the boys' father," I said, cutting right to the chase. Immediately, Ichigo understood a lot of things.

"He's not a transfer student."

I shook my head.

- _He catches on fast._ –

~ _Sometimes._ ~

"Ichigo, remember that conversation I had with you, about the other you?"

The boy tensed, but nodded. I didn't even have to tell Shinji what I wanted as he held his hand up, summoning his mask for Ichigo to see. The boy looked ready to have a heart-attack.

"If you are not trained, that part of you will devour you," I told him, making his eyes snap to mine, the fear in them making me want to soothe him. "That other you… is a hollow. Your friends already know about him, so don't worry about them leaving you because of it. Things are very different now than they were when Shinji was in the Soul Society."

That eased his fears a little.

"Ichigo, Shinji isn't the only one like you," I said softly, gently. "They can help you… before you end up hurt or hurting someone you love. It's up to you if you want to wait and sort your thoughts, but don't take too long. The longer you wait, the stronger your hollow will become… and the harder it will be for you to gain control. Do you understand?"

Slowly, he nodded, accepting my words.

"Before you even think it, you belong where you choose to belong," I stated, cutting off his train of thought (and Shinji's desire to convince him he wasn't a soul reaper). I could feel Shinji's frown, but brushed it off. "Be it the Soul Society or here, it doesn't matter either way. You protect Karakura Town and everyone in it. That is who you are and where you really belong, Ichi. Rukia would tell you the same thing and you know it."

The look in his eyes told me he agreed with that statement.

"Do you need time?" I asked softly, my eyes gentling as I looked into his. Almost immediately, he shook his head.

"No," he answered. Then turned his gaze to Shinji. "You can train me, to control my hollow?"

"Of course," he answered. "We all had to do it."

"When do we start?" Ichigo asked. I could feel pride coming from Shinji as well as gratitude for making his job easier.

"A week from now sound acceptable?" I answered. "After school. Shinji can take you to the others… like Hiyori."

Ichigo looked at me, startled.

"That girl is part hollow?" he asked. I nodded. He shook his head in wonder for a moment. "No wonder she's so violent."

Immediately, Shinji and I laughed.

"No, that's just Hiyori," he told the boy. "She's always been like that."

"And Shinji was usually on the receiving end of that, if not Kisuke," I added with a grin, recalling a few of those episodes, giggling. "Kisuke used to be her Captain. Hiyori was the lieutenant of Squad Twelve before they were all hollowfied. Shinji was the Captain of Squad Five, my squad… and his lieutenant was Sosuke Aizen."

Ichigo's mirth vanished, his eyes going dark. I knew he had his own personal score to settle with Aizen… but he also knew how I felt about Sosuke.

"Sosuke betrayed them, all of them, turning them into what they are now," I explained. "They weren't like you, Ichigo. They didn't always have hollows. You are, yet again, an exception to all the rules. Their struggle was harder than yours will be. Your hollow and you _need_ each other. You will learn that soon enough."

Abruptly, as if to agree with me, a vision hit me like a tidal wave.

Ulquiorra stood there in a form I'd never seen. I could not hear the words again (much to my frustration), but I saw Ichigo transform before my eyes, turn into something that looked more Hollow than human… before he attacked. Above them, Orihime was in tears, watching this battle in growing horror.

The vision left me and Ichigo caught me before I could fall.

- _Is that really what your visions are like?_ –

Shinji's voice was shaky, telling me he even felt the sapping of energy that I felt. I nodded softly.

~ _Yes._ ~

"Vision?" Ichigo asked, steadying me. I nodded, relaxing back against the couch again.

"Sorry," I said. "I really wish I could control when I get those damn things, but I can't."

He gave me a soft smile.

"Not your fault," he told me. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Guess I'd better head home, though. Yuzu and Karin miss you."

I smiled softly, feeling that familiar warmth in my chest as I thought of those two.

"I'll have to visit soon," I agreed. "Until tomorrow, Ichi."

He nodded and took his leave, pausing at the door.

"Your homework is in your bag," he told me, then left.

~ _Sweet boy… Still worrying about me…_ ~

That thought put a sour note in Shinji's thoughts as he fought his jealousy and possessiveness. I giggled and kissed his cheek.

"Chill," I told him. "His beta is Orihime. He is no threat to you."

That eased him a bit, but not fully. I could very clearly hear him grumbling about Ichigo's hands on me and being so intimate… Unbidden, there was a momentary flash of memory, when Ichigo and I had (during my heat) masturbated to each other on opposite sides of the wall. Immediately, Shinji whirled on me and, his eyes sparking in his jealousy.

"Tone it down," I told him softly, a grin tugging at my lips. I loved it when he got all possessive like this… such a turn on…

And he groaned, his hand going to his chest before his eyes snapped up to mine.

"The call."

I nodded, slowly unlatching the sleeping babes from my breasts, setting them in their bassinettes. After covering them, I was only given a second to prepare before Shinji shoved me hard up against the wall.

- _You're mine, dammit!_ –

Then set to proving just that.

* * *

I woke with a groan, tempted to break that damned alarm clock. Between Shinji and the boys, I'd gotten little sleep last night. All afternoon and evening had been filled with Shinji taking every drop of lust and hunger I possessed, all between feedings and diaper changes with the boys. I just couldn't tell him no, couldn't tell him to stop or that I needed a breather… because I had wanted it just as badly. I should have been sore all over. A normal person would have been, no doubt. But I was not… not that I didn't know why. I knew it was the mate-bond that kept us both healed and ready for more. It was so strong, so potent…

A soft kiss to the back of my shoulder calmed my ire, the arm around my waist tightening momentarily. I shivered lightly, feeling my arousal stirring… but quickly stamped it down, much to the annoyance of the man behind me, making me chuckle.

"Come on," I told him. "School."

His mind was suggesting many other activities that did not include long, boring lectures or dealing with teenagers in a very bland, wide school. I giggled and kissed him softly.

"Behave," I teased. He just grinned and did the opposite, trailing kisses down my neck, trying to get me to give in. To my annoyance… I knew he was succeeding…

Abruptly both of our heads snapped up and I grinned.

~ _Thank god for Enra!_ ~

Shinji huffed, but released me, letting me go take care of our son. On the way out, I slipped on his shirt from last night, grinning as I felt his approval… and arousal at the sight. I giggled and winked before leaving my bedroom behind, hearing him groan as he fought back his need.

Little Enra was crying loudly, demanding food and attention. I chuckled and changed his diaper, then sat down in the rocking chair, letting him feed as I held him. I smiled as I recalled the first time he'd held his boys… He had been so afraid he would break them…

- _In my defense, I'm not used to such fragile company._ –

I laughed outright, waking Yukiya. He started to fuss.

~ _Your turn._ ~

He chuckled, but soon joined me. He was at least half-dressed for school, socks, boxers, and pants on. I drank in the sight, my eyes roaming every delicious inch… and I know he knew it, if the shit-eating grin on his face didn't reveal that. He changed the diaper, then handed the boy to me, taking Enra to get him dressed while I fed Yukiya. Once Enra was dressed, he returned to the bedroom, having Enra placed in the middle of our bed.

Our bed. That's what he called it. Warmth flooded me from my heart. This man…

- _I know. You love me._ –

I could practically see his grin and rolled my eyes, giggling the whole time.

~ _Yes. Yes, I do._ ~

Then I focused back on Yukiya. When he was done feeding, I dressed him and started packing the diaper bag for a day at school. I knew the girls would 'kidnap' my boys as soon as I walked through the door, so I made sure to have extras of everything, especially spit-cloths. Once it was packed, I carried Yukiya to our room and placed him next to his brother on the bed. Shinji was just sitting there, watching them scoot all around, a smile on his face.

"Did you mean what you told Kisuke?" he asked softly, his eyes straying to me as I dressed in my uniform.

"Every word, but I need to know which part you're referring to," I answered, then heard the answer in his thoughts. I chuckled. "Yes, I meant every word of that… unless you object to more kids… not that you'll have much say this time around."

That startled him. I chuckled and forced his senses to my stomach. Sure enough, a tiny little ball of reiatsu was there, shocking him again.

"We mated, Shinji," I reminded him. "Part of that implies children."

That got another surge of love from him as his hands went to my hips, holding me still so he could just relax and sense it.

"These kids aren't even going to be a year apart," I mused, making him grin as I scowled playfully at him. "You'd better not intend to keep me barefoot and pregnant the rest of our lives."

He laughed.

"I just might," he replied, making me blush darkly at the thought. He laughed again and hugged me, then released me so I could finish getting dressed. I pulled on the amulets and Ulquiorra's bracelet. Then I pulled on the engagement ring he'd given me. The sight of that sent another surge of love through him, warmth flooding me. I smiled softly.

"I never took it off, Shinji," I admitted softly. That got a kiss, a tender, loving kiss.

"I love you," he said softly, kissing me again. I smiled softly.

~ _I love you, too._ ~

Then I pulled away and we grabbed the last bits of our supplies. He carried one bassinette while I carried the other. After locking up, we flashed to a block from the school. From there, we walked on in. Almost immediately, the girls stole the boys from us, making me laugh at Shinji's amusement and annoyance. Then, however, the two of us got surrounded and given the full interrogation. I was grateful for the bond right now. It helped Shinji and I create one convincing lie for these people about us.

"Miss Kurosaki!"

I turned around with a light wince and a blush. Miss Ochi stood there, her arms crossed as she looked at me and Shinji both.

"It's not like you to disappear from class like that," she scolded me. "I expected better from the second-ranked student of our class. And Hirako, it was your first day. You can't just run off like that."

"Sorry, Miss Ochi," we chorused, appearing completely repentant, though we were laughing on the inside.

~ _I haven't been scolded like this since the Academy…_ ~

Now he was fighting a grin.

- _Stop it. You're gonna ruin my acting!_ –

And I lost it, laughing outright. He joined soon after, unable to help himself. Miss Ochi just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Alright, everyone to your seats," she called out. With a quick, but tender, loving kiss, Shinji walked me to my seat and then left for his own. His actions were noted by the female population and they gave the appropriate 'aww' responses, making me snicker. Miss Ochi quickly took roll call and the day began.

Halfway through the lecture, my boredom got the better of me, getting my ornery streak to rise up. Teasingly, I started sending little clips, stalled images of last night to my lover. I was well rewarded when I heard him choke and drop his pencil. I fought hard to hide my grin and giggles that desperately wanted out. I FELT him grin as he got into the spirit, tossing a few images back at me of some suggestive positions he'd love to try. I grinned and sent back an actual memory, the memory of him coming undone as I sucked his cock under the table all those years ago.

SNAP!

All eyes flew to Shinji as he flushed, holding the two pieces of his now broken pencil.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Got too excited."

My laughter was lost among the rest, considering I knew what he'd really been getting excited about. He shot me a dirty look when no one was looking and I sent back an angelic one. Oh, he got even.

He sent back the memory of last night when I'd learned just how kinky a tongue ring was, making me squirm in my seat… and that's how the entire morning went. Both of us endlessly teasing each other, getting us both so aroused we couldn't even pretend to pay attention in class anymore. When lunch came, he jerked me out of my chair and dragged me down the hall, down to a janitor's closet. As soon as the door was shut and locked behind us, I jumped on him, pressing my mouth hungrily to his.

"Mm, Shinji…"

"You damned tease…"

My hands raced to unzip his pants, reaching in quickly to wrap around that staff. He hissed and pulled my hands away, pushing my underwear aside as he thrust himself deep inside me. I kissed him to muffle my moan of ecstasy and he started thrusting hungrily, forcefully, keeping me pinned up against that door. I struggled to keep my moans muffled, biting him frequently to keep from crying out in pure bliss every time he hit that perfect angle, that sweet spot.

~ _My god, Shinji! Yes! Harder!_ ~

Oh, he answered, he answered with thrusts so powerful they were muddling my thoughts entirely. He barely covered my mouth with his in time as I came hard, him mere seconds after. After a few more thrusts, we panted, trying to get our breaths back as we shivered against each other. I kissed him tenderly, lovingly… then slowly pulled away, groaning as he slid out of me, lamenting the loss almost immediately. He chuckled and grinned, pleased by that response.

A soft knock on the door had us both jerking around.

"If you two are finished, Yuzu made lunches for you," came Ichigo's voice. I laughed and relaxed, fixing my underwear and appearance. Shinji did the same and we left the closet, accepting the lunches from Ichigo.

"Remind me to thank her," I told him. Ichigo couldn't look at either of us, making me chuckle and Shinji grin. "Think your family would be up to coming over for dinner tomorrow night?"

Ichigo nodded, scratching the back of his head.

"Should be fine," he answered me, then started walking away. "Next time, don't make it so obvious, Lysa. I don't think there's a single person in our class that couldn't feel that sexual tension."

I blushed and laughed, realizing he was probably right. Shinji was grinning and snickering behind me, leaning down to lightly nip my shoulder, making me shiver. I shot him a playful glare and we walked out to the schoolyard to eat. He got pulled away by the guys while I got pulled away by the girls. It amused us both to no end.

"So, he's the father!" Ayame started. I chuckled and nodded.

"I sensed all that tension in the classroom," teased Chizuru, her eyes glinting madly. I knew she was just jealous.

- _Jealous?_ –

I grinned.

~ _She's as lesbian as they come, dearest. You should see how she acts around Orihime._ ~

- _Well, she does have some really nice melons…_ -

I glared at him across the yard and he immediately backtracked, feeling my ire.

- _She has nothing on you, I swear!_ –

~ _Uh huh… Sure._ ~

My sarcasm was duly noted as he floundered, trying to find a way out of this.

SNAP!

I jumped and looked up into Tatsuki's face. She had snapped her fingers in mine.

"Welcome back," she teased. "What got you so sour?"

"Shinji," I answered immediately, my voice a low grumble. "I realize eyes were made for looking but…"

I growled again, making several girls giggle.

"Just imagine someone you think is gorgeous," suggested Ayame. "Manages to annoy every guy I've dated."

So, I did just that, pulling up my memory of Kensei. Almost immediately, I felt Shinji's jealousy and ire, making me grin.

"Much better," I muttered and the girls laughed.

"So, are you and Shinji going to get married?" asked Orihime, making me smile softly.

"We planned to in the first place," I admitted, drawing attention to the ring on my finger. They'd seen it before, but none of them had realized its significance. "This was the engagement ring he gave me before we were forced apart."

The collective 'aww' made me smile softly.

"But you're still in high school," objected Ayame. "Aren't you rushing a bit?"

I blushed softly.

"We've been in love for ten years…" I admitted, making all the girls look at me in shock, then swoon at the sweetness of it.

"Aww!" Orihime gushed. "Childhood sweethearts!"

I giggled.

~ _Now that would be something… a young, innocent Shinji… Were you ever innocent?_ ~

I heard him laugh.

- _At some point I might have been._ –

I chuckled and relaxed.

"When's the wedding?" asked Chizuru. I shrugged.

"Haven't really set a date or time," I admitted. "We're in no hurry. We have the rest of our lives."

Again, another 'aww' from the group, making me smile.

"So… what's he like?" asked Ayame. I quirked a brow, waiting for her to expand. "I mean, is he always so flirtatious and playful?"

I grinned.

"Worse, usually," I stated, making them giggle. "We used to have flirtatious contests to see who would blush the worst first… And then he goes and calls every pretty girl he meets his 'first love' and does it with a completely deadpan look on his face."

That got more giggles.

"He's shameless," I stated, knowing full well he could hear me.

- _And you love it._ –

~ _That's beside the point._ ~

He snickered, but let it go.

"What's he like in bed?" asked Chizuru. Almost immediately, I knew I had Shinji's full attention. He wanted to know exactly how I was gonna answer that. I blushed darkly, trying to figure out how to word it…

"Chizuru! You can't ask something like that!"

Nearly every girl agreed with that statement.

"What?" she asked. "It's a valid question. Clearly, he's good enough to get her knocked up and coming back for more."

My blush darkened even more and I could feel Shinji's amusement growing by the second with my embarrassment.

"Depends on the mood you catch him in," I answered finally. "He can be sweet and sensual… or rough and dominant… sometimes even a mix of both."

I should have known that wasn't going to be a good enough answer.

"Details, woman!" they all nearly shouted, save Orihime who was blushing darkly.

"Is there muscle under those clothes?"

"What's that tongue ring feel like?"

"How big is he?"

Each question spouted off just made me blush darker and darker.

"Yes, pure ecstasy, and twelve inches," I answered quickly, making them squeal. Now Shinji quirked a brow at me.

- _How would you know my size?_ –

I grinned and shot him an image of a time back in the Soul Society. I'd been helping the fourth with paperwork… including physicals. I felt his mortification, realizing I could probably quote the sizes of nearly every guy in the Seireitei.

- _How many are bigger than me?_ –

I laughed, I couldn't help it. Of all things to be concerned about…

The girls were looking at me strangely, but I didn't care. I was too amused. Abruptly, I yelped as I was jerked to my feet, into a pair of familiar arms. Shinji was looking down at me with such a mixed expression. Embarrassment, annoyance, amusement, and accusing… all at once. It just made me giggle.

"How many?" he asked, forgetting we weren't alone.

"Several," I answered honestly, knowing he was taking a hit to the pride on that one.

~ _But I doubt they know how to use it, as most of them are from the eleventh division, including the captain._ ~

That eased his poor, bruised ego a bit, but not much.

~ _Why does size matter so much to you anyway? It's not like I really care._ ~

He conceded that much was true, but it still bothered him a little that I knew such intimate knowledge. Unbidden, I heard a stray thought about how he hoped Kensei wasn't bigger and I shifted uncomfortably. Shinji groaned, leaning his head on mine.

- _Seriously?_ –

~ _Only by a quarter inch._ ~

He grumbled lowly and I chuckled, kissing him to get his attention.

"Chill," I told him softly. "I chose you, remember? This bond can't be broken; nor will I ever want it to be."

~ _And last time I checked, his name isn't the one I'm screaming._ ~

That got his grin back, his pride surging at the thought of his performance.

A loud wailing broke the moment, making both Shinji and I look over. Enra was inconsolable in Orihime's arms and the poor girl looked ready to cry herself. With a soft sigh, I walked over and picked him up, watching Shinji also grab Yukiya. We stepped over to a mostly-abandoned part of the yard and I unbuttoned my blouse, quickly letting both boys feed.

Shinji just sat nearby, watching with a smile, warmth flooding me from the love that flowed through him at the sight of his beloved family.

"Shinji…"

I knew he could feel my hesitance as his eyes met mine, his smile falling a bit.

"Knowing all you do now…" I paused and looked away from him, feeling a low ache in my heart. "Do you still _want_ that life with me?"

He turned my face back to his gently, kissing me lovingly. Then he looked down into my eyes, his hand caressing my face.

"If I didn't, would I still be here?" he asked me softly.

- _Would I have let you mark me, mate with me?_ –

I paused, though doubt still nagged at me… and I knew he felt it. He hugged me gently from the side.

"Marry me, Vasilysa," he said softly, making me look up at him. My heart sped up a bit as I looked into his eyes, as I felt his heart…

"Will we actually make it to the alter this time?" I asked softly, my skepticism in my voice. "You know Sosuke will never allow it…"

I felt an immediate wave of ire from my lover and saw him clench his fists.

"That bastard will _never_ get between us again," he swore to me. His determination, his confidence, it was shocking… and comforting. His hand rose to cup my face once more. "I will _never_ lose you again, Vas. I can't go through that again! I can't… and I won't! I've had to wait an entire century to hold you in my arms again… and I'll be damned if I ever let you go."

My heart pounded in my chest, a painful feeling inside of me growing, a painful dread… and I knew he was feeling it, too.

~ _Shinji, he always seems to know everything I'm doing, even when he's not nearby! Do you really think he won't know you're here, with me? Do you honestly think he won't do everything in his power to change that?_ ~

His eyes were hard as steel.

- _He won't get the chance. I won't let him have you._ –

He hugged me tight, our babes whimpering in protest before he released me again.

- _I promise you, Vas. We WILL be married… in an orchard, just like you wanted, the trees in full bloom._ –

I felt a surge of love in my heart as I smiled softly, touched.

~ _You remember…_ ~

He smiled warmly, gently.

- _I've had a long time to think about you, about everything we had together. It was all that kept me sane._ –

He leaned his head on mine.

- _When I felt doubts in my strength and my will, I would remember you, remember us. When I would lose hope, the thought of you would bring it back. Yes, it was painful… but I would rather feel the pain of losing you than ever have lived a life without you. I would rather suffer a thousand lifetimes… than ever let Sosuke have you._ –

He kissed me softly, tenderly.

- _I want to give you the life I promised with the house, our kids, even a pet or two if you want… I just want to spend the rest of my life with you, Vas. I don't want to miss a single second more._ –

I felt my doubts melt away, felt the warmth of his love encompass me, soothing me. I smiled softly and kissed him softly. He smiled into it, feeling my new hope and calm, knowing he was the reason for it.

"I love you," I whispered softly against his lips. He kissed me with a warm smile.

"I love you, too," he assured me. "Always and forever, Vasilysa."

He looked down into my eyes.

"You showed me everything you remembered that was important," he told me softly. "Tonight, I will show you everything I remember that's important."

I smiled softly.

"I look forward to it," I replied. The boys finished feeding shortly after and I fixed my top, Shinji wiping off their mouths. He took Yukiya from me and held him, a sight that warmed my heart.

~ _My family… whole once more._ ~

He smiled and kissed me before we headed back to class.


	30. Memories Part I

**Alright. Here's the memories of our dearest Shinji. I had to break this up into three parts or it would be far too long for one chapter so please be patient as I post each one. Let me know what you think of the surprises within!**

 **Viper-Sindel**

* * *

That night, after we got the kids settled, Shinji took me back to the bedroom, stripping me down to my bare skin as he pulled me into bed with him. He stripped away his own clothes and held me close, the delicious feel of his skin against mine a comforting warmth.

"Ready to see my memories?" he asked softly. I smiled.

"I've been waiting all day," I replied. "Show me."

He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning his head against mine… and the first memory came.

Flashback

 _This is it… the last chance I have… I have to time this just right…_

I pulled Sakanade out of her sheath. I then waited patiently, waited for HER. Even after all these months, all my failed attempts to find out what went wrong, I couldn't stop my heart racing when she was near, couldn't stop my hands from lingering when I knew they shouldn't…

 **You and I both know Kit had something to do with this. She was fine until he talked to her, even receptive.**

I sighed.

 _Yeah… I know… What happened?_

I felt a light pang enter my heart before it sped up as she stepped into the courtyard. Her expression was guarded, though I knew I couldn't have imagined all those unspoken hints she'd thrown at me during these training sessions.

 _I know she cares about me… and I'll get her to admit it…_

 **Don't lose your nerve or get distracted.**

I met her cold gaze.

"Ready for your final test?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Of course, Captain," she replied. Even her voice was forcibly even.

 _Please don't let me be imagining this…_

She unsheathed her zanpakuto and looked at me, waiting.

"Collapse, Sakanade," I commanded, then waited. As soon as she had the eyes in place, I attacked!

I knew her limits. I knew how long she would last… and I kept holding back because I didn't want to hurt her… My movements were slow, sluggish… but hers were no better. She was hesitant… her eyes filled with so many swimming emotions, even when she was trying to hide them. Her sword spoke volumes of agony, of grief and remorse.

"Shit!" she swore, closing her eyes, but remaining at the ready.

 **Do it now!**

So, I reached over, wrapped my arm around her waist, pulled her body to mine, and I kissed her. She froze… then kissed me back. I heard her sword get dropped just before I felt her hands on my chest, burning a path up around my neck as she held me to her, as she kissed me like I was a hidden oasis in a desert.

Before my mind could fog completely, I recalled Sakanade and sheathed her, now letting my hands slide over the fabric that encased my woman. I pulled from the kiss and kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her forehead… then back to her lips, holding her head with my hand, never wanting to let her go. Her body eagerly molded to mine, her lips hungrily chasing my own. Shocks of pleasure struck from every point that we touched… and my hunger for this woman grew.

I slid my lips from hers, trailing kisses down her neck.

"Shinji," she moaned softly, her head tilting back even further, baring that flesh to my lips. A wave of desire crashed over me at her submission, at the sound of my name on her lips…

 _I can't wait any longer…_

I slid my hands down and snagged her thighs, jerking them up around my waist. A shudder passed through her as she felt my hardened staff press against her heat, her hips grinding lightly, making me see stars for a moment.

 _Shit… I'm gonna drop her at this rate…_

Through heavily clouded vision, I located the nearest wall and quickly pushed her up against it, no longer trusting the grip of my hands to hold her. She shivered and moaned for me as I slid my hands up her sides, up to cup those marvelous breasts, running my thumbs over her nipples as I kissed her again.

She gasped and arched into me, her whole body responding with fervor to my touch… My hands quickly untied her obi and slowly slid open her robe, giving her plenty of time to stop me if she so wanted… Her pleasure-drugged gaze was all the answer I needed as I slid my lips down her neck once more, reveling in every shiver, every whimper… every moan… She rolled her hips against mine, a hiss forced from me as I struggled not to rip her uniform away and take her right now…

 **Master…**

 _Not now!_

I trailed my lips eagerly down the seam of her robe, pushing it open with my nose as I sucked and teased that heated flesh, finally coming to the curves of her breasts, my lips teasing the sides of those swells…

 **Master!**

WHAM!

The fist that connected to my head sent me sprawling! Pain bloomed through my unprepared body as I crashed through the concrete wall. I heard Akalia screech in both surprise and terror.

 **Master, get up! You must get up!**

 _I'm trying!_

My body did not want to co-operate. At least in battle, my Hakuda would have protected me… but like this, attacked without a warning? I knew there was more damage to me than normal…

 _Shit…_

"K-Kit, I—"

SMACK!

My blood began to boil.

 _How dare he! He hit her!_

"YOU NEVER LISTEN!" he roared, striking her again. This time, there was a crunch as the wall behind her protested and she cried out in pain. "DAMMIT AKALIA! YOU ARE SWORN TO ME!"

"What?" she whispered, seeming shocked and shaken. I struggled to my feet, struggled to force my body to move. Wordlessly, I strengthened every part I could reach with my reiatsu. I knew this battle was not going to be easy.

"When your father entrusted you to me, he told me you BELONGED to me!" he spat out, his white-hot fury in his voice. "You're MINE! AND I WON'T LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE YOU!"

"No…" she sobbed, those sobs increasing my anger and tearing at my heart. "No, you cannot be him… You can't be Kit… Kit would never do this to me…"

He struck her again and I growled. Now that I could see, it was time to end this worm!

"Collapse, Sakanade!"

"Shinji…" she slurred… and I felt my fury grow. From her head blood poured down the wall. "Shinji… help…"

And she collapsed.

"Dammit!" I swore, turning on Kit. His eyes were wild, beyond sense… and something dark lurked there. "You never should have harmed her, Demenez."

"You never should have touched her!" roared Kit, moving faster than I had ever seen before. I barely had time to block!

 _How can he see through Sakanade?!_

"Confused, Captain?"

The title was pure mock.

"My zanpakuto removes all illusions around me, rendering yours useless!" he snarled, attacking again. His energy was growing… and changing!

 _Hollow energy?!_

"Bakudo 99, Kin!"

Kit swore darkly as the kido struck, binding him to the ground. He struggled and swore, his energy growing even darker by the minute, the hollow-energy devouring the spirit energy.

"What happened?" Kuchiki asked quickly.

"Take care of him," was all I said, rushing to Akalia. I put my hand on the back of her head and prayed to any god that was listening that she would be okay.

"You think she would _ever_ choose you, a soul reaper?" Kit sneered, his grin sending a bit of fear through me. It was… deranged… "Like she could ever be happy with you! The moment she uses her hollow powers, you'll be forced to kill her, just like you will me!"

Kuchiki quickly gagged the boy, but the damage was done. I looked at the girl in my arms for a moment, a moment of hesitation running through me.

 _A hollow?_

 **You don't have time to debate this right now! Get her to Unohana!**

Quickly, I shook off my doubts and picked her up.

 _Right… I have to save her!_

I flashed to the fourth and called for Unohana. I had no shame in admitting there was a note of panic in my voice. Unohana, thankfully, said nothing, just took her from me and quickly got to work. I stood there, staring at the door for a while.

" _You think she would **ever** choose you, a soul reaper? Like she could ever be happy with you! The moment she uses her hollow powers, you'll be forced to kill her, just like you will me!_ "

His words haunted my thoughts.

"What kind of power she has doesn't matter."

I jumped at the unexpected voice next to me. Kuchiki stood there, looking a great deal calmer than I was.

"Besides, for all we know, he could be lying to try and guarantee you won't have what he believed was his," he pointed out. That eased my mind a great deal.

 **Exactly. Famous words of a jealous man: If I can't have her, no one can.**

I relaxed immediately.

 _Of course… Of course, he's lying. Akalia is no hollow._

But the small part of me wondered.

 _But… if she is… that would explain her reluctance to enter Hueco Mundo… her unease about the whole mission…_

 **If it is true, don't you think, once she allows herself to trust you enough, that she will tell you? Give her the benefit of the doubt. It's clear you love her… and she loves you. No one can fake that amount of passion in an embrace… and a hollow cannot love. Is that not proof enough of her innocence?**

I sighed.

 _Then I will wait._

End Flashback

I was startled. I looked at him in shock.

"You doubted me… and yet you didn't push me away?" I asked softly. My heart ached a bit to know he'd questioned his love for me when he'd learned what I was. He kissed me softly.

"Our road has been rocky," he agreed. "But it has been worth it. I wouldn't trade anything for what I'm holding in my arms right now."

That eased my mind a little bit more.

"Ready for the next one?" he asked me softly. I took a few moments to clear my thoughts, then nodded… and he showed me more.

Flashback

"Captain Hirako!"

I paused, turning to look back at Jushiro.

"Forgive the interruption, but might I speak with you on the way?" he asked. I nodded, curious. It was rare for Jushiro to actually ask to speak to me specifically. I also noted that Sosuke had moved a bit closer, like he wanted to hear this as well.

"Shinji, I know it's not my place to interfere in your squad's affairs, but I'm forced to speak up for one who won't speak for themselves," he began. Immediately, my mind flew back to the other day.

"Is this about that talk you had with Akalia?" I asked. He frowned and nodded, seeming a bit upset about something.

 **Red flags going up. We are not going to like this…**

I frowned.

"Never… send her into Hueco Mundo," he told me, his tone a seriousness I had rarely seen from this man. It shook me a lot more than I'd ever admit. I looked him in the eye.

"Why not?" I probed. "She's more than capable of handling herself— "

"If you intend to keep her alive and unchanged, you must never allow her to set foot there," Jushiro cut me off, grabbing my shoulders firmly. I was completely taken back now, my eyes widening in both my surprise and my growing concern. "You must trust me on this. Why this must be the way things are is not my place to say and I do not blame her for keeping them quiet… but know that she had the best intentions at heart. Akalia can _never_ enter Hueco Mundo… or she won't be coming back."

My heart sank and my through tightened as if someone was squeezing it. I couldn't move right now if I tried.

"What… do you mean?" I forced out, my voice a great deal more strained and shaky than I'd have liked. Jushiro just shook his head, letting go of me as he turned and walked away.

"I gave her my word, or I would tell you," he spoke back towards me. "Just think about what I've said and, if you are wise, take it to heart. Nothing good will come of her going to Hueco Mundo."

He was getting so far ahead… but a new thought nagged at me.

"Wait a moment!" I called, catching up to him quickly. "Why wouldn't she come to me with this herself?"

He looked at me like that was a very heavy and loaded question, one he loathed to answer.

"Because she does not want to lose you," was the reply, before he flashed the rest of the way to the first. I felt a thrill of fear run through me.

 _What is she hiding… could it be?_

" _You think she would **ever** choose you, a soul reaper? Like she could ever be happy with you! The moment she uses her hollow powers, you'll be forced to kill her, just like you will me!_ "

A hollow that ran away from Hueco Mundo… it was insane, clearly… but…

 _It's starting to make sense… All of this fear, all of this uncertainty… There is so much here…_

 **Master, be patient. I am certain she will come to you with the full truth when she is ready. Does it really matter if she is a hollow? Does it really change how you feel about her?**

I wanted to immediately say no… but part of me doubted the honesty of that answer. If she was a hollow…

… _what would I do? Could I bring myself to kill her as the law demands?_

 **Would you love her any less?**

My heart grew heavier with every seed of doubt that my mind grew.

"Captain," cut in Sosuke, getting my attention. "It could be something small, like a bad experience she had there, probably with Kit. There could be hollows that still seek retribution for something he did. Kit DID tell us the two had been in Hueco Mundo before and had to leave under strained circumstances. I'm sure it's nothing as awful as… whatever you're tormenting yourself with."

 **Mark the calendar. It's the one and only time I'm glad that man is your lieutenant. He's right, you know. I'm sure it's nothing.**

I sighed, vexed beyond words. I wanted to trust her, to continue to love her exactly as she was… but I began to wonder, really wonder…

 _Was the woman I loved… a lie?_

End Flashback

A cruel hand clutched my heart as how much I had tormented this man hit me. Shinji gently brushed away my tears and sent soothing love through our bond, trying to ease my guilt.

"I should have told you sooner," I whispered softly, feeling lower than a rattlesnake in a gully. "Gods… I'm so sorry, Shinji…"

He kissed me again, silencing me.

"Relax," he told me softly, then started the next one before I could respond.

Flashback

As I began walking out, I heard Kensei whisper to Akalia.

"I need to talk to you."

The way he spoke caught my attention completely. I knew that tone, knew it was serious… and looked back at Sosuke.

"Head on back to the office," I told him. "I'll be there shortly."

"Of course, Captain," he stated, then left. Meanwhile, I swallowed my reiatsu and calmly got up on the rooftops… and followed Kensei and Akalia as they started walking away. Halfway to his division, Kensei finally spoke up.

"Akalia, why are you even with that airhead?" he demanded.

 _Airhead?!_

Then I saw her expression.

 _She's trying not to laugh… but…_

Then it hit.

 _She knew this was coming…_

"He doesn't even have the decency to keep it behind closed doors!" he raged on.

"Kensei, did you ever consider that I _like_ how he does that?" she cut in gently, softly. He stopped in mid-rant, looking at her in disbelief. "And can you honestly say, if I were with you instead, that you would hesitate to do the exact same thing?"

Immediately his face flooded with color and he began spouting off, denying it vehemently, saying he would never and that he wasn't talking about himself as another option, obviously, etc. etc. etc.

She chuckled softly, getting him to stop. I failed to see what was so funny about all this…

"Kensei, I suggest you put that night out of your mind permanently," she told him.

 _What night? What am I missing?_

The red in his face vanished as his expression got serious.

"I can't," he answered me honestly. "I've tried… and it continues to torment and haunt me."

He stopped her, putting both of his hands on her shoulders. A fierce jealousy grew inside me and I knew my hands were digging into the tiles as I struggled to stay put and not remove him from her space.

"And I know I shouldn't be like this, you're with my best friend for crying out loud!" he went on, seeming to curse his own mind. "But the more I think of you with him…"

"The angrier and more possessive you get," she cut in, like it was something you'd find in a textbook. It was like…

 _She knows EXACTLY what's going on…_

"I know EXACTLY how you feel, but I can't explain how I know. No, it's not because I feel the same way. I've chosen Shinji—"

 _Damn right she has!_

"And yet he seems in no hurry to claim you," the irate man shot out. "Dammit, Akalia! I wouldn't be hesitating! I'd have already married you by now!"

My brain stilled for a moment.

 _Marriage?_

"It doesn't matter what you would do," she said firmly. "I've chosen Shinji."

"Then you chose wrong!" he shot out.

 _What the hell, Kensei? You're supposed to be my best friend!_

She sighed and pushed his hands off of her shoulders.

"You saying that… merely confirms that I've made the right decision," she informed him coolly. "I'm sorry, Kensei… I've given my heart to him and him alone."

Then she started to walk off.

"Dammit!" I heard him curse. "Akalia, wait!"

She paused and looked back at him.

"Please, disregard everything I just said," he begged her. "I don't… I don't understand what keeps coming over me…"

She sighed softly, that knowing look on her face again. It was almost… tormented.

"Consider it disregarded," she answered him softly. "Though I expect a few more conversations like this in the future… and no, they will not be of your own true doing…"

His gaze met hers, things snapping into place for him as they had for me.

"You _know_ what's happening to me…"

She nodded softly.

"And I'm afraid I cannot explain it to you," she told him softly. "I'm sorry."

Then she left, flashing away. Kensei just stood there, staring at the spot she'd just been… then shook his head for a moment… before giving a frustrated yell and smashing his fist through the nearest wall.

"Dammit!" he swore. "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!"

 _I know how you feel…_

Just as Kensei's world had just been shaken, so had mine.

 _Marriage…_

 **It is the inevitable conclusion to any relationship full of love, is it not? You really need to think about ending your playing days and figuring out what you want in life. Akalia is very clearly yours… what's stopping you?**

I felt torn, deeply torn.

 _Marriage… I… I don't think I'm ready…_

 **No one said it had to happen now… but perhaps a step in that direction is called for? Test the waters?**

I sighed and thought about it.

 _Yeah… It might be time…_

End Flashback

I was reeling.

"Marriage… that early?" I breathed. "I might have had a heart-attack!"

He chuckled, kissing me again.

"Then it's a good thing I waited," he agreed, making me smile softly.


	31. Memories Part II

"Next," I prompted. He chuckled.

Flashback

I groaned as I slowly woke, my mind foggy and groggy as all hell. Vaguely, I heard the shower running and assumed it was Akalia… up until I realized there was someone not far from me also stirring into wakefulness. My eyes snapped open and landed on an equally naked Kensei, his body covered in bites, scratches, and dark red hickies. Once glance at my own body showed the same results.

A few seconds later, memory flooded… and I saw red.

"What the hell?!" I roared at Kensei. "That's MY girlfriend!"

"I'm not myself or I wouldn't have!" Kensei defended himself pathetically. "She even said so herself, that I wasn't being myself!"

I paused, recalling that talk they'd had.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice low. I knew he knew how serious this was as his eyes flashed a bit with fear.

"Look, I pulled her aside earlier to apologize for my actions a while back… but ended up not doing that at all," Kensei explained. "I don't understand what's happening… but she told me in a way that solidified the idea that _she_ knew… and that she refused to tell me."

"That day after lunch," I realized, things clicking into place again.

"So… it _was_ you I sensed," Kensei said mournfully. "I—"

"Don't apologize again," I cut in. "Clearly, it is as she said and you are not at fault…"

We both sighed.

"What do we do now?" asked Kensei. "I can't deny that these actions are… aren't all part of that which I don't understand…"

My heart sank.

"You… care about her…" I whispered.

"And I'm so sorry, Shinji!" Kensei said immediately, regret in his voice. "I didn't mean for it to happen!"

 _I can believe that…_

"When did you figure it out?" I asked him.

"Seven Minutes in Heaven," Kensei answered, making my eyes widen in shock. "I… I was both grateful and greatly irritated every time that timer ran out."

"That long?"

My heart officially couldn't get any lower.

"I love her… probably as much as you do," Kensei admitted, his voice telling of his guilt. "And now… after this… I don't think I can go back to how things were, Shinji."

That's when Kensei's voice got firm.

"From this moment on, I'm competition for her affections," Kensei finished.

 **Master… she was in heat at the time.**

My heart sped up at the thought, my depression vanishing in moments.

"Did she respond to you?" I asked quickly. "During the game, did she respond to you?"

"Yes," Kensei answered. "Ravenously."

Relief coursed through me and a smirk grew on my face.

 _She's mine… all mine._

"You can try to compete, but you've already lost," I told Kensei firmly. "She was in Heat… I should have known… And she told you several times already, Kensei… She _chose_ me."

I didn't give him time to respond as I rose and walked to the bathroom, joining her in the shower. She tensed, her very being the appearance of someone racked with guilt. I kissed her shoulders and rubbed her arms reassuringly, holding her back against my chest.

"You missed a few spots," I teased, healing a few things she couldn't reach on her back.

"Sorry I didn't warn you before," she said softly, looking back into my eyes. There was so much uncertainty there, so much hesitation… it warmed my heart to know she was this worried about it. I smiled and kissed her lovingly.

"Nothing to apologize for," I assured her. "How often does this heat hit?"

She blushed.

"Four times a year," she answered, relaxing in my embrace, leaning her head on my shoulder, her lips softly caressing my neck. I leaned into it, closing my eyes as I just enjoyed the feeling of her in my arms.

"How much… did you hear?" I asked. She chuckled.

"All of it," she answered.

"Then you know how he feels…"

I was nervous, I won't lie. I knew she said she was mine… but… She leaned her head up and looked at me, cupping my cheek softly.

"Shinji… I choose you," she reminded me. "It doesn't matter how many others fall head-over-heels for me, there will only be one man I want. That will never change."

Relief coursed through me at her words and I hugged her gently.

"Good," I whispered. "Next time you're going into heat, tell me. I'll keep you away from compromising situations."

She chuckled and kissed me.

"Gladly, sweetness," she answered, making me smile. "I love you, Shinji Hirako."

Warmth flooded my body as I kissed her, turning her in my arms to face me so I run my hands down her back. She smiled against my lips and returned my kiss.

"I love you, too," I told her warmly, looking down into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes of hers, looking up at me with such love… they burned away any doubts I ever had about her loyalty. She was mine… all mine… and she kissed me again, one I gladly returned. Then she pulled back and began healing my marks. Her eyes grew a bit clouded as she did so, like something was bothering her.

 **Master… you might want to start probing.**

I mentally sighed, but admitted this was the best time.

"Akalia… I don't want to push you… but can you tell me a bit more about yourself?" I asked softly. "I… I don't expect everything… but—"

She placed a finger to my lips.

"I'll tell you what I can," she told me. "And I'm afraid that will still leave a lot unspoken. I don't tell you to keep you safe… When I don't have to worry anymore… I'll tell you everything."

 _She doesn't tell me… to keep me safe?_

 **At least you now know she's not doing it out of a fear for herself… She loves you so much she's willing to do anything to keep you safe.**

My heart warmed again and I nodded, accepting those terms. She sighed, seeming to brace herself for this.

"My name isn't Akalia Sapphirano," she began. "I was given that name by the hollow that raised Kit and I for four hundred years in Hueco Mundo. We were attacked one day by a legion of warriors, all Vasto Lordes. They worked for an enemy of my father's… and were there for a single purpose, to kill me, just to reach him. The hollow that raised me used the last of his strength, just before he died, to send Kit and I to the living world, to safety. He told me to never return to Hueco Mundo… for he wouldn't be there to save me next time."

My eyes were wide.

 _That's why she's hesitant to go to Hueco Mundo! That's why Jushiro told me never to let her go there! Kit lied!_

"My name… is never to be spoken when we are not alone, Shinji," she warned me. "There are those, both here in the soul society and in Hueco Mundo that know it well… and would not hesitate to eradicate me, first chance they got."

 _Wait… what? Why would anyone here want to hurt her?_

"Vasilysa," she whispered. "Vasilysa Moreadthiel Amalthia Dragomir. That is my name."

 _Her name…_

I felt warmth run through me as I rolled that name across my tongue.

"Vasilysa," he repeated softly, rolling it across his tongue. "It's perfect…"

Then I kissed her tenderly. She smiled softly and kissed me back, letting her fingers run through my hair. It was a soothing feeling, one that washed away all of my doubts completely.

 _She's mine… no matter what._

End Flashback

I felt a deep love for this man. Yes, he had assumed wrong, but it had eased his mind, letting him erase all doubts once more.

"I wish I could say that was the end of my doubts," he spoke up, his hesitation concerning me a bit. "I… I spoke to Kouga, remember?"

I nodded, recalling that.

"I was so relieved to wake up with you behind me, growling about the damned alarm clock," I admitted softly. "I was afraid you wouldn't be there when I woke…"

He sighed.

"I almost wasn't," he revealed, making my heart skip a beat and fill with dread.

"What happened?" I asked softly. He looked at me, his gaze torn.

"Please, don't be angry with me," he whispered softly, leaning his head against mine… and the memory played.

Flashback

I stopped her in the hallway, making her look at me in confusion.

"Let me speak to Kouga tonight," he said gently. She got a bit of a nervous smile, but nodded, leading me to the bedroom again and handed me Durnehviir. Once he was in my hands, I meditated on the bed, her across from me. Once we were in the inner world, she looked at me and sighed.

"I'll wait for you in the Captain's Quarters so you two can speak alone," she said softly. I couldn't understand why she was so nervous about this.

 _Unless… Does Kouga know all of her secrets?_

I gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'll see you in the morning," I assured her, kissing her softly. "Get some sleep."

She was still reluctant, but she left. I waited until Durnehviir nodded, telling me she was gone from the premises, then I walked through the door.

True to last time, I was sitting on the bed, Durnehviir across my lap. I sighed and set it aside.

"I see you decided to take this one."

I nodded, turning to face Kuchiki.

"Is there any reason, any at all, that I should not trust her?" I asked him point-blank. He frowned at me, studying me.

"Why do you doubt her?" he countered. I frowned. "She has explained that she wants to give you everything she is, everything she has, nothing held back, but your safety is the reason she does not. Why do you doubt her?"

Then it hit him.

"You're still torn up over what Kit told us, aren't you?" he asked. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, but nodded. Kouga sighed. "He didn't lie."

I froze.

"Vasilysa was born half-hollow," he stated. "It's not something she chose nor was it something she wanted, but it is who she is, who she has always been. She has kept that part of herself under lock and key, though it's much like cutting off an arm and a leg. It's part of who she is… but she cannot use it. Our laws state that, the moment she displays hollow powers, she is to be killed."

His eyes caught and held mine, a deadly seriousness in them that shook me to my core.

"But that's not the worst that will happen," he told me. "Vasilysa is royal blood, both through the Soul King and one of the four kings of Hueco Mundo. There are many that, once they realize who she is, would not hesitate to kill her and everyone she loves—including you, Hirako. They won't stop with just her. You, Aizen, Ichimaru, Ukitake… All of you would be placed in danger the moment she released her zanpakuto, the moment her power was felt by those that live who still recognize it."

He let that sink in… and sink it did, along with my heart.

 _This… this is what she didn't want to tell me… This is… It all makes sense! How could I have been so foolish?!_

"She did not wish for you to know this—any of this—until she could guarantee your safety," Kouga went on. "Halflings don't live by the same rules as the rest of us do, not by far. Every little thing they do has a purpose, a meaning. I trust you're not completely naïve and you've noticed Kensei's inability to keep his hands to himself?"

I nodded, feeling a bit of dark jealousy course through me, followed by disgust.

 _I'm jealous… over a hollow…_

 **Master… She's still Vasilysa, still the woman you've loved all this time. Does what she is really change how you feel?**

Honestly, I didn't know how to answer… I was torn right now, torn in two. I was torn between duty… and the part of my heart that loved that woman so much it hurt…

 _She lied to me… She deceived me…_

 **She did it to protect you.**

"Hirako… do you love her?"

Kouga's quiet question brought me back.

"Can you love anyone without trust?" I asked, my betrayal in my voice. Kouga frowned deeply.

"Have you told her everything about you?" Kouga asked. "Have you bared every skeleton in your closet to her eyes?"

 _No…_

"Yet you will condemn her for skeletons that she has no control over?" he pointed out. "She glowed when you touched her, her soul shines so bright it's blinding… but you still doubt her. She's willing to risk everything, her life, her very being, just to be by your side… and you doubt her? You doubt the ability to trust her and now doubt her love?"

Kouga scoffed, turning away.

"You don't deserve her."

Then he started walking away.

My internal battle was raging fiercely, driving me crazy between my love and my doubts… my duty and my heart… Memories assaulted me from all sides, her smile, her loving gaze, her soft kisses… her secretive amusements, her unspoken fears, her nervousness, her distrust… Her laughter, the warmth of her hugs, the trust she HAD given me…

"Hirako, she held nothing back from you, you know," Kouga spoke up sadly, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"I thought you left…"

"I can't leave like this," he stated. "You have to choose to leave. I'm stuck here until you dismiss this."

He looked at me again, though look in his eyes caused guilt to tear through me.

"She loves you, wholly and completely, nothing held back in her entire being," he told me. "I would know… I was her first love, after all…"

I paused, hearing that.

" _I lost that to someone I loved._ "

"You took her virginity," I stated. He nodded.

"The night she made everyone think she was drunk," he stated, startling me. "It was before you fully had her heart, though it only served to solidify the feelings she fought with all she had. She didn't WANT to love you, to love a Soul Reaper, let alone a Captain. She didn't WANT to love someone that she would have to lie to every day for the rest of her life… but she knew she couldn't love me the way she wanted… because she already loved you."

Once again, a large sea of emotions was crashing through me. I was angry and betrayed because she had LITERALLY cheated on me—and then lied about it!

"Has she slept with you since?" I asked bitterly, barely containing my jealous rage.

"No."

His simple reply startled me.

"She refused when I asked," he admitted. "She chose you… and I let her go. She only wants you, only loves you."

He sighed and looked away, looking out the window.

"And she's terrified of you."

That really shocked me.

"She's… what?" I asked, barely able to form words. He looked over at me through the corner of his eyes.

"You hold all the power right now, all the cards are in your hands," he stated. "She's terrified… because she couldn't hold back anything from you, because she gave everything to the point that she can never take it back… She's terrified… because she never wants to lose you…"

He got an annoyed and suffering look.

"If you had to sit through hours of her talking about you, you'd understand," he assured me, though he sounded downright ill.

 _There's only one reason a man wouldn't want to hear a woman talking about another man._

"You still love her."

Kouga nodded.

"And I always will," he replied. "But, as I've stated many times now, she's not mine anymore… and never will be again."

I hesitated, then thought about my talk with Durnehviir.

"Durnehviir said… when I die, so will she, that her kind can only give away their hearts once," I brought up hesitantly.

"That's true," Kouga confirmed. "By her own admission."

"And she gave her heart to me?" I clarified. He nodded. It really hit me hard in that moment. "She… she really _does_ love me…"

Kouga shook his head with an exasperated but amused grin.

"You're just now figuring that out?" he asked. "She _chose_ you! How many times must we say that?!"

He plopped down in a chair.

"Do you have any idea how often she gets asked how serious you two are, how soon she intends to get a ring on her finger?" he asked, making my heart skip a beat and my mind start racing.

 _People are bringing up marriage to her?_

"Hirako, everyone else can see how in love you two are, why can't you?"

His question really made me start thinking.

 _Does what she is really matter? Does it really change who she is or what she means to me?_

After thinking it over for a few minutes, I looked at Kouga.

"Thanks for telling me all this," I told him. "I guess she'll see you in two weeks… but, Kouga?"

The man looked at me.

"No more visits in our bedroom," I told him. He grinned.

"Afraid you'll be outdone?" he teased, making me flush and making jealousy overrun me for a moment, until I remembered. I grinned.

"Like you could," I shot back. "After all, she chose me, didn't she?"

Kouga gave a soft laugh at that, seeming relieved.

"And you finally get that," he thought aloud. He grinned over at me. "Don't keep her guessing, Hirako."

I knew exactly what he meant, now that I knew a lot more than I ever had before.

"I won't," I assured him, then finally left the meditation. I looked over our bedroom and sighed.

 _How could I have ever been so stupid as to doubt her like this?_

I flashed over to the Captain's quarters and smiled as I saw her lying there, dressed in one of my shirts and a pair of lacy underwear. The top few buttons were undone, affording me a rather nice view of her cleavage and her long, sinful legs…

 _How could I have ever doubted that I wanted this?_

I stripped down and pulled on my night robe, crawling in behind her. Unconsciously, she slid back against me, making me chuckle as I wrapped my arm around her waist, sliding the other under her neck.

"Shinji?" she asked, her tone telling me she was barely awake.

"Shh," I told her, kissing her temple softly. "Go back to sleep."

"I love you."

 _I know you do… Now, more than ever._

I smiled softly.

"I love you, too," I told her, then kissed her temple again, soon hearing her breathing even out once more.

 _I love you, Vasilysa… and I will NEVER leave you._

End Flashback

I was crying again. This time, the tears were of happiness, though there was also a bit of stunned disbelief coursing through me.

"You knew… you knew who and what I was… and you stayed," I whispered, so deeply touched.

"I love you," he told me softly. "I love you just as I did then… and I always will."

He kissed me softly.

"I will never leave you, Vasilysa," he promised. I kissed him softly, letting my fingers tangle in his short hair. When he kissed me back, I slowly rolled my hips back against him, making him groan and look down at me… The Call burned in both of us as he kissed me hard, his hand caressing my breast while the other hand slid down, down to run along my folds. I was growing heated and slick with every stroke of his fingers, rocking on his hand.

"Oh, Shinji," I moaned softly, feeling his thumb brush over my nipple, feeling it grow taut in arousal. His lips descended to my neck, kissing and nipping, sending shivers down my spine. He smirked against my flesh and I shivered, feeling that hardness pressed against my rear. Wordlessly, I slid up a bit, arching my back. He chuckled and took the unspoken cue, lowering his hips a little before he pushed his length into me from behind.

We both moaned softly at the contact, the sensation of his proud staff filling me completely. I whined as he refused to move just yet, teasing us both… knowing he wanted to hear me protest. He chuckled against my neck and nibbled, making me squirm and pant. So, with a growl, I clamped down my internal muscles, making him gasp sharply as his member was suddenly gripped in a vise.

"Either you move… or I'll take control," I warned. He groaned as I eased the grip… then tightened again as he refused to move still. His hands gripped my hips… and he pulled out slowly, the vise sending his pleasure levels almost into the sensation of pain… and then he thrust roughly back in. I moaned loudly, loosening those muscles instantly, pleasure flooding me.

"All these years… and I'm still learning new things about you," he whispered, then set a slow, teasing pace. His kisses caressed my neck, my shoulders, my back… and his hands teased my breasts, my clit… Every touch of those fingers drove my pleasure even higher… and my mouth sang his praises as my body writhed for him.

"S-Shinji…" I moaned. "Oh… gods… please!"

And he finally sped up, finally giving us both what we wanted. My eyes flew open as my moans turned to full-on cries of pure ecstasy, flooding this room with my voice. Moans of his own pleasure rumbled from his lips, making his whole chest vibrate with every one, the sensation sending shivers down my spine. His flesh was so warm, burning me from the outside in, where it mixed with the fire within me, making my eyes roll into the back of my head, this pleasure a drug I welcomed whole-heartedly.

"Vasilysa…" he groaned out and I felt his member swelling up.

"Oh, yes!" I begged. "Please! Come for me, Shinji! Come for me!"

My name was both an oath and a curse as he burst within me, filling me with his seed. His name soon followed after, the intense feeling of his release smothering me through the bond, triggering my own. Wave after wave of pleasure tore through me, weakening me with every pass. The sapping of strength seemed to be shared by my lover… as he collapsed to the bed behind me, just resting there, getting his breath and his senses back.

"I'm never going to get tired of this shared pleasure thing," he told me, making me laugh.

"No, you never do," I agreed. "Tis why I've got over six hundred siblings."

He choked in shock, making me laugh again.

"Keep in mind my parents have been together for over two thousand years," I pointed out. "Trust me when I say the passion never fades."

He grinned.

"Nice to know what I've got to look forward to," he teased, making me laugh again. I rolled and kissed him softly, a kiss he gladly returned.

A wailing from the other room broke the moment, making us both chuckle.

"And reality crashes back in," I stated, making him grin. So, we both rose and headed towards the kids' room. There, Enra was awake and fussing. I walked over and quickly changed his diaper, then grabbed a spit-cloth and sat down in the rocking chair, putting him up to my breast to eat. Shinji had Yukiya, deciding to wake him so the two would remain in sync all night, bringing him to me after the diaper was changed. I latched that boy on as well and let them feed to their heart's content, smiling softly. This was all I really wanted for our family—this peace and happiness…

And a vision hit me right then.

 **Ulquiorra looked at me sadly.**

 **"Akalia, I have my orders. If you wish for me to continue to breathe, I must obey them. I have to deliver you to Lord Aizen."**

 **He didn't look happy about it, not even a little.**

 **"And I was instructed to bring your children with us as well, as he did not think it wise to separate a mother from her babes."**

 **"But Shinji—"**

 **"Your bonded will have to wait patiently," Ulquiorra cut in. "Come. You can keep him updated on how you're doing the entire time you're in Hueco Mundo. Considering how Lord Aizen obviously feels about you, I doubt he intends to harm you or your children. If anything, it seems he means to take the five of you out of harm's way. Come. We need to leave before the time on our distraction for your bonded runs out."**

 **I hesitated, then sighed and started filling the diaper bag with things I would need. Ulquiorra took my unspoken cues and helped grab a few essentials as well. Then he picked up Enra and I picked up Yukiya.**

 **"You WILL be returned to Shinji, I give you my word," Ulquiorra assured me. With an ache in my heart, I nodded… and followed him through the garganta.**

I gasped, feeling the draining effect hit. Shinji caught me, but only just. Both of us were shaken by that revelation.

"At least we know what his next move will be," I stated, trying to make light of the situation. Shinji was momentarily amused, but that amusement vanished when his worry set back in.

"Ulquiorra never breaks a promise," I assured him softly. His eyes expressed his doubts, but he did concede that I knew him best. "It would only be a temporary separation at best… and I'll let you know the moment it starts, you know that."

"But you'll be in Hueco Mundo," he pointed out. "What's to stop the enemies of your father from coming for you?"

"If I know Sosuke as I do, he'll have already put precautions in place," I replied simply, reassuringly. "I'm certain he'll have gotten the full truth about me from Ulquiorra and the true reasons for my deceptions. The fact that he sent Ulquiorra to get me says a lot in itself. He sent someone I trusted instead of someone that would simply do as he ordered without honestly caring about me at all. It will be fine—we will be fine."

Then I recalled exactly what Ulquiorra had said and felt elation deep in my heart.

"The five of us…"

Shinji caught on immediately as well, his joy mixing with mine as he reached over to rest a hand on my stomach.

"Twins again," he said softly, making me smile even more, warmth flooding my chest as love bloomed in his heart. After a few moments, the boys finished eating and Shinji took Enra, burping him while I burped Yukiya. It took a while, but we finally got the air out and then laid the boys back in their cribs. Softly, gently, he took my hands and pulled me back to our room, back to our bed. He kissed me softly, pulling me down on his lap, his fingers gliding up and down my back.

"I love you," he told me and I smiled, my heart practically glowing with the warmth those words spread through me.

"I love you, too," I told him, kissing him again.


	32. Memories Part III

I slid off of his lap and back down on the bed, pulling him over behind me again. He chuckled and gladly spooned me, holding me as close to him as he could, the warmth of his flesh better than any blanket I owned… then I hesitated.

"What?" he asked, frowning.

"Will you show me… that night?" I asked softly, instantly feeling his heart fill with dread. "I… I want to see it through your eyes, to know what happened…"

I could feel how much he did _not_ want to remember this… so I kissed him soothingly.

"If you don't want to show me… I understand," I told him softly, the bond showing I meant it. It was, after all, a very personal thing to remember.

He sighed… and the memory flooded my mind.

Flashback

Everything went black, we couldn't even see each other anymore! And then, the pain hit. I crumpled to the ground, both from the injury from Hiyori and the new one across my back…

 _What happened?_

When the blackness cleared, I saw him standing there with his zanpakuto bared.

"Hold on a minute…" I thought aloud. "Kaname! Tell me… why did you do that to Kensei? You betrayed him, your own Captain!"

"He didn't betray him," came an all-too-familiar calm voice. "He's actually quite loyal."

I felt loathing pit in my stomach.

 _I was right about him. I was right about him all along!_

I slowly turned my head to look.

"As a matter of fact, Kaname was just loyally following my orders," Sosuke stated, Gin walking up behind him. "You, of all people, can understand that so, please, don't hold it against him, Captain Hirako."

I wanted to knock that smug look off of his face.

"Sosuke," I growled out. "I should have known it was you."

"You mean you were onto me?" Sosuke baited. "That was very good."

"Of course, that's why I'm a Captain," I sneered.

"When did you suspect?" Sosuke asked, seeming amused.

"From the beginning," I replied. "From the time you were in your mother's womb and maybe even before then."

Sosuke just looked even more amused, turning his head to the side in a completely relaxed manner.

"How witty of you," he mocked.

"To be perfectly honest, I always felt you were somewhat dangerous, someone who could never be trusted and, as long as we're telling the truth, that's the real reason I chose you to be my lieutenant," I spelled out. "I only did it… to keep an eye on you, Sosuke."

Sosuke looked completely unruffled, which infuriated me if I was honest.

"Yes," he said softly. "I must thank you for that, Captain Hirako. I needed you to keep mistrusting me, to keep you watching. That's what made misleading you so simple."

 _How arrogant!_

"You were never out of my sight," I growled. "What are you saying?"

"You were keeping an eye on the wrong person," Sosuke replied.

 _What the hell is he talking about?_

"During this past month, when you were so aware of my presence, it wasn't me that was following you," Sosuke explained.

"What?!"

"I have a very useful ability. I can make anyone mistake any phenomena for something else at will. That is the true power of my zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu. I refer to it in the common tongue; complete and utter hypnosis."

"You're saying… you hypnotized me?"

"You are a sharp intellect, Captain Hirako, but you're suspicious and that gave me an opening. You never received me as your second-in-command the way the other Captains did. If you had, perhaps you may have been able to see through me. However, you did not. And because you didn't trust me, you always kept me at arm's length, never opening up to me or giving me information and, of course, you never tried to get any closer to me. That was why I was able to take advantage of you so easily."

He sheathed his zanpakuto while I struggled to get off the ground, burning hatred filling me.

"The fact is you never realized, at some point, I switched places with a completely different person. I made sure the man who took my place memorized everything about my normal behavior patterns and, especially, the interactions with you and the other squad members. If you had really paid attention to me, even the slightest difference in patterns or behaviors would have seemed out of place to you. You were too arrogant to believe… that I could be one step ahead of you. Because you never knew who I was, you now lie there completely helpless."

I glared at him, fully understanding what was happening now.

"Do you understand the depths of your situation now, my dear Captain Hirako?"

I growled lowly.

"Sosuke…"

"Oh, and one more thing," Sosuke added. "Let me enlighten you about your assertion that you chose me as your lieutenant to keep an eye on me. Actually, you're mistaken. It was the other way around."

"What are you talking about?"

"Think back to the start of our relationship. Just as Captains have the right to select their lieutenants, squad members have the right to refuse an assignment and, while that right is very rarely exercised—particularly when you're starting out—it still exists. I had the choice of NOT becoming your lieutenant. So why didn't I do that? Because it was the ideal situation. You didn't realize it at the time, but your excessive suspicion and wariness of me was just what I needed. It played perfectly into the successful completion of my plans. Now do you understand what I've been talking about? You did not choose me… I chose you, Captain Hirako."

I felt my anger starting to get the better of me, felt my body starting to shake as I struggled to maintain control of my emotions, to pay close attention to all he was saying so I could use it as proof of his betrayal…

"I suppose, when it comes down to it, that you owe your friends here an apology. Because you were chosen by me, they ended up on the ground as casualties through no fault of their own."

 _That's it!_

I picked up my blade and rose to my feet.

"Sosuke!"

Abruptly, I choked, then watched in horror as white stuff burst from my mouth, nose, and eye!

 _W-what the hell is this?!_

"I wasn't actually sure it would work, but thank you, Captain, for going for my cheap taunt," Sosuke mocked.

"W-what's happening to me?" I demanded, unnerved to hear a strange echo in my voice. The white stuff began to flow over me and harden little by little… and the pain… oh, the pain!

When I turned around, I was horrified to see the others starting to do the same.

 _Wait a minute!_

" _Like all my visions, I can't hear what's said, I can only observe the scene," she had told me. "My friends… they had fallen victim to something, to someone I couldn't see… and all but one of them was unconscious. The one still awake seemed deeply angered, almost betrayed… and all of them were suffering the same strange phenomena… Three of them had hollow masks… and the others… if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say they were becoming hollows, too… but it didn't look natural, it didn't look right… The conscious one… the white stuff that spewed from his mouth only covered half of his face, like he was fighting it somehow…"_

 _Her vision! She was right!_

I turned back to the traitor.

"Sosuke, what's going on?" I demanded, then groaned as the pain grew even greater, the whiteness spreading across my face further, even passing down my shoulder. Sosuke looked unamused, even a bit disappointed. Kaname walked over to stand behind him. Gin stood there with a bland smile on his face, though his eyes cracked open once to look at me.

"I'm sorry" was written in those eyes before he closed them quickly.

"As we thought," Sosuke muttered. "It appears an agitated state helps to accelerate the hollowfication process."

"Hollowfication…"

 _It can't be…_

"What have you done to us?" I asked, my voice low.

"I see no reason to explain, Captain," Sosuke baited. I fought against the outrage that brewed within me, fought it hard. I had to stay calm!

"Shin… ji…"

The distorted voice of Hiyori reached my ears and I looked back at her.

"Kaname," Sosuke said.

"Yes, sir," Kaname replied, picking up his sword. My eyes widened.

"No, don't!" I protested, but I was too slow. Kaname cut Hiyori down like butter… and I flew at him, enraged. Kaname looked a bit vexed as he blocked my blow, though he soon jumped away. "I don't know what's going on here, but if you think everything is going to go smoothly according to your plan, you're going to be mistaken."

"Surprising resistance, considering the progress of the hollowfication," Sosuke noted.

 _Hold on… What was it that Sosuke said a few minutes ago?_

" _As we thought," Sosuke muttered. "It appears an agitated state helps to accelerate the hollowfication process."_

 _That was it… which means if I maintain my composure this transformation process won't progress._

"What shall I do, sir?" Kaname asked.

"Go ahead and continue," Sosuke replied. "We'll just have one less sample, that's all."

 _Excuse me?!_

"So, I'm just a sample to you? Interesting way to describe a comrade."

I blocked Kaname as he attacked. It was slow, like he was measuring me up. Back and forth our blades clashed, though I did, at one point, push him backwards some ways.

"It appears he's about to get defeated," Gin commented.

"Yes, you may be right," Sosuke agreed, not sounding pleased.

 _What's going on? I have almost no control over my body. I can't feel any pain… It's so strange… It's as though someone other than me is doing the fighting._

I dodged the incoming attack and clashed a few more times before sending Kaname to the ground.

 _No wonder we had such a hard time dealing with Kensei, even when we out-numbered him… but, at this rate, I may have a chance…_

"Sorry, sir," Kaname apologized. "But don't worry. I'll finish him now."

"Don't concern yourself over it," Sosuke told him. "I actually expected this would happen. In fact, I theorized the speed at which hollow transformation would occur would differ from individual to individual."

I felt more hardened white stuff spill over me.

"I must admit, it was quite an interesting process to observe," Sosuke stated. "However, your continued existence is immaterial. I believe it's time to finish you off, dear Captain Hirako. In the end, I hope you'll remember one thing."

He slowly drew his zanpakuto.

"Any betrayal you can see is trivial. What is truly frightening and much more lethal is the betrayal you cannot see."

"Goodbye," he said, raising his blade high. "I must commend you. You people have provided wonderful research material."

 _EXCUSE ME?!_

And from my lips tore a hollow scream.

Just before he could strike, a blur shot out of the trees and slashed at him, throwing Sosuke off-balance.

"Well, unexpected guests," Sosuke noted, turning to look at Kisuke Urahara. "How very interesting… To what do I owe the honor, Captain Urahara, Commander Tsukabishi?"

"Whoopsie," Gin piped up. "I guess they found us."

"I'll kill them," Kaname announced, drawing his blade.

"No," Sosuke said immediately. "Don't."

"But, sir—"

"Kaname," Sosuke said as he slowly looked back at him. "I think I made myself clear."

Kaname immediately got a look of fear on his features. Kaname quickly knelt.

"Yes, sir," he said quickly. "Please forgive my insolence."

"Kisuke…" I managed to say. The blonde looked over at me as I stepped closer. "Why'd you come here? You're such an idiot."

Kisuke looked taken back.

"Shinji?!" he asked. "What is up with that hideous mask?"

I grinned, amused.

"You don't know the half of it," I told him. Kisuke smirked for a moment… then lost it as he looked over at Hiyori. His eyes were full of self-torment.

"So, Lieutenant Aizen," Kisuke began.

"Yes?" Sosuke responded.

"What have you done?"

"Nothing. As you can see, I happened upon the members of the Soul Investigation Unit. They seem to have been injured in battle. I was merely trying to save their lives."

"You bastard," I growled, stepping forward. "They'll never buy that!"

"Tell me, why are you lying to us?" Kisuke asked.

"Lying?" Sosuke asked. "Is there a problem with a lieutenant helping his Captain?"

"No, but that's not what I meant," Kisuke replied. "Injured in battle? You call these… injuries? You're dancing around the truth. This is hollowfication."

I was shocked. Sosuke seemed unfrazzled completely.

"First, it's the vanishing souls, squad members disappearing like they'd been erased, and now what you see here. It can only be one thing: Hollowfication experiments. Someone's doing research… actually, let's not beat around the bush, shall we? We both know who's responsible."

"I see," Sosuke finally spoke up. "Your reputation surely precedes you."

Sosuke sheathed his sword.

"To tell the truth, I'm glad you came tonight," he admitted. "Gin, Kaname, we've fulfilled our objective. Let's go... And, Captain Hirako, I'll give your regards to Akalia."

"Stop, Sosuke!" Kisuke bit out. "We are not done!"

"Clear out of the way, Captain Urahara!" Tessai burst out. "Hado Number 88, Hiryugekizokushintenraiho!"

An enormous blast of energy burst from his palm (which Kisuke barely dodged) and shot straight for Sosuke!

"Bakudo Number 81, Danku," Sosuke said calmly. Immediately, the Hado met a powerful barrier, exploding on impact!

"It can't be!" Tessai gasped out. "My kido… stopped by a lieutenant using a Danku with no incantation!"

When the smoke cleared, Sosuke was gone.

"Forgive me," Tessai said to Kisuke. "It seems I let him escape."

"Tessai… who is that guy?" Kisuke asked, sounding vexed. That's when the transformation's pain hit once more… and my vision went dark.

End Flashback

I shook my head, my whole body shaking in my fury. It took me a few minutes to realize he was shaking just as badly, his hollow swimming in his eyes.

"Stop," I commanded, looking the blackness directly in the eyes. I felt the hollow within him hesitate. "This war between you ends now. If you wish to remain alive, Shinji must ALWAYS be your face. However, when we are alone like this, I want all of you, both of you. Shinji, don't fight him so much. He won't hurt me. Hollow Shinji, stop tormenting and pushing. It will not end well for either of you if I have to use my power on you to bind you to my will."

That made both of them freeze as they computed that.

"This bond is a powerful thing in many ways, usually used in Hueco Mundo to bind another's will to your own, the stronger will taking full dominance of the relationship," I spelled out. "If I command it, enforced by our bond, you will do exactly as I say whether you want to or not… but the opposite is also true. You can also use this bond to command me. A mate-bond is the ultimate form of trust… and the ultimate submission."

"Show me," Shinji said. I smiled and then caught and held his gaze.

"Let him out," I commanded, putting the force of our bond behind it. I felt his shock as his body obeyed, his hollow coming to the front. His eyes turned black and gold, his mask starting to form… until I reached over and flicked it, breaking it apart. "You don't need that mask to come out… Shinji is your mask."

The mask didn't form again, the hollow seeming to understand what I meant. Instead, he grinned down at me, that grin so much more wicked than Shinji's. I chuckled and pulled him into a fierce kiss, making him groan and grip my body tightly, turning me to face him so I could feel his growing hardness. I bit his lip, making him growl and grin at me, knowing I'd drawn blood. I licked the wound and felt it heal.

"King doesn't deserve you," he muttered, his hands gripping my hip bruisingly tight as he kissed me roughly, rubbing his rod against my soaked folds. His hands jerked my legs to the sides, baring my sex to his gaze. He grinned widely. "All mine."

Then he thrust in hard, making me cry out in pleasure, arching into him.

"That's it," he told me as he thrust savagely, rough and fast as well as deep. "Sing for your King!"

I growled and bit down on his shoulder, raking my nails down his back. He roared out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, taking a fistful of my hair, jerking my head back hard as he bit down on my exposed neck. My hips met his every thrust, my body getting wave after wave of pure ecstasy from this pure dominance.

"F-fuck!" I swore, my second climax this night ripping through me. My mate swore darkly, also finding sweet oblivion, flooding my chasm with his cum. I laid there, panting a while, his body shakily hovering over mine.

"You're too good for King," he told me, making me chuckle.

"Then it's a good thing I'm half yours, yes?" I asked, making him grin softly. I kissed him deliciously, then pulled back. "Now, let Shinji back out. I believe he has more to show me."

I didn't need to command him. He was willing, now that he knew I could make him do it, if I so wished. Moments later, it was Shinji looking down at me, panting from exertion. He seemed wordlessly taken back.

"You LIKED that?" he asked. I nodded with a small smirk.

"Part Hollow, remember?" I teased. "I do love the gentle love-making and the reminders that you love me dearly… but I also appreciate the times when you will fuck me like you don't."

I kissed him, swallowing whatever he was going to say to that.

"I'm not made of glass, Shinji," I told him. "Never hold back an ounce of your desire from me and never be afraid to get rough if you want to. It's YOU… I'll love it every time, no matter in what way I have you."

He finally grinned and kissed me softly.

"I have… one last memory I want to show you," he told me. "It's how Hiyori found out about you being alive… how we all did, actually."

I kissed him softly.

"Show me, my love," I whispered. He kissed me again… and the memory played.

Flashback

"We got a message from Kisuke!" called out Mashiro, waving it in her hand. No one was really that interested. "And it has some interesting information for Shinji."

I glanced her way.

"Something about a Miss Dragomir—"

 _What?_

I darted over and snatched the note, reading it quickly.

 _Dear Shinji, I do regret keeping a single secret from you, but it was on behalf of the one it is about. Miss Dragomir is alive and living here, in Karakura Town._

White hot fury tore through me.

 **Is my King upset? How delightful… Lose control, King! I want to play!**

 _Shut the hell up and go back to that pit you came from!_

"That… bastard!" I bit out, crumpling the paper.

 _Kisuke… How DARE you do this!_

And I flashed away, flashed to the shop.

"KISUKE!" I roared. He stepped into the doorway… and promptly flew through the back of his shop and several buildings further. "HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME!"

When he finally came to rest, he got up slowly and dusted himself off, flashing back to stand in front of me.

"I am not lying," he told me plainly. "Why would I lie to you about something like this?"

"You're lying, you have to be!"

I was rather ashamed to know my voice cracked.

"You know she's dead, we both know it!"

"No, I do not know that," he countered calmly. "I've seen her, talked to her… She's very much alive, Shinji. I can tell you exactly where to find her, too."

"Why hasn't she come to find me?" I demanded. "Didn't you tell her I was alive? Vas would have come and found me as soon as you told her that!"

"Unless she had what she believed to be a substantial reason _not_ to find you," Kisuke countered. "She's… not the woman you think she is."

I grabbed his robe, clenching it tightly in my fists, holding him close to me. Judging by how his eyes flashed, I knew I was losing control of my hollow, the black starting to cover my eyes.

"You know _nothing_ about her," I snarled at him. "I _know_ more than you people think! I _know_ who she is, _what_ she is."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"I also _know_ she can't be alive," I spat out. "Durnehviir made that absolutely clear… so did Kuchiki… I won't stand here… and be lied to!"

I threw him backwards with as much force as I could muster. Then I shot up into the sky, looking over the town.

 _She's not alive…_

But, I couldn't shove away the nagging feeling that he might be right… so I cast out my senses. I searched far and wide, searching hard and eager…

And there was nothing.

 _He lied. I knew it!_

I clenched my fists tightly.

 _Kisuke… you bastard!_

I let loose a roar of complete despair and anguish, falling to my knees as I let the tears of my loss stream down my cheeks once more.

 _Vasilysa… forgive me… forgive me for not being strong enough to stop him…_

End of Flashback

I had felt his pain and hugged him to me, holding his body against mine.

"You owe Kisuke an apology," I stated, making him sigh, though a grin slid onto his face.

"Do I have to?" he whined, making me laugh.

"Yes, yes you do," I replied. "He has been nothing but honest and kind to you, to us…"

Then I thought about it.

"No wonder he had a bruised cheek when he came to the hospital," I commented softly. "You really hit him hard, luv…"

He growled.

"He should have taken me straight to you rather than just told me about you," he stated. "Or he should have written down your address instead of just saying you were in Karakura Town."

"Then I would have hated him," I countered, making him pause… and remember. "Yes, I would have been overjoyed to see you… but I would have also been horribly upset about it. I wasn't ready at that point… I'm glad he was cryptic and put up with your temper."

I lightly ran my nails up and down his back soothingly.

"We really _should_ thank him for all this…"

Shinji sighed, but nodded, agreeing that I was probably right.

"But how do you thank a guy that really doesn't want anything?" Shinji asked, making me chuckle.

"You'd be surprised how much a simple 'thank you' can mean to someone," I replied. "Kisuke is just like everyone else. Yes, he does all kinds of things to help others… but does he ever get any appreciation for it? I'm sure our gratitude (while obviously implied) would be a welcome sound to his ears… and we should probably _not_ forget his birthday this year. It would really suck having to celebrate someone's birthday alone all the time. I went last year… but, other than Yoruichi, no one else did."

Shinji winced.

"That bad?" he asked.

"His birthday is on New Year's Eve and Yoruichi's is on New Year's Day."

He winced again.

"Ah, hell," he swore. "That's gotta suck…"

I nodded.

"We'll thank him tomorrow… then we'll start planning a better birthday for him than he's had in a long time," I stated, then kissed him softly. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow _is_ technically a school day."

"I got Ichigo," he reminded me. "There's no reason for me to go back now."

I grinned.

"Good," I told him. "Then I'll pump before I go and you can take care of the boys tomorrow while I maintain my GPA."

He gave me a grin.

"You don't need to go to school, either," he pointed out. I chuckled.

"Actually, as long as my name is 'Kurosaki', I do," I countered. "It was part of Isshin's deal to house me and adopt me… Also, we'll probably have supper with them tomorrow night. I'll text Yuzu and make sure that's okay."

"You really love that family, don't you?" he asked. I nodded.

"Like an extension of our own," I replied, kissing him softly. "Rest. Feel free to ignore my alarm in the morning."

He snorted, telling me he fully intended to… though he knew the boys wouldn't. I giggled and kissed him again before nestling down to rest. He rolled off of me and pulled me into his arms, holding me close.

"Now I really need to marry you," he teased. "If your name isn't 'Kurosaki', you can stay home with me all day."

And I laughed.

* * *

 **And there you have it. The memories of our dear Shinji. Were there any parts that surprised you? Where there any moments that your heart ached? Let me know! I love feedback!**

 **Viper-Sindel**

 **PS**

 **I'll get the next post up as soon as possible. We are now venturing into the part where dearest Vasilysa will meet Maki Ichinose again. Stay tuned!**


	33. The Start of Something New

Third Person POV

Seven pairs of eyes looked up as they felt three energies enter the warehouse. Hiyori grinned.

"About damned time, baldie!" she called out. Shinji stepped down the stairs into the training room… two little bundles in his arms. Mashiro and Lisa both squealed, darting over to take the infants from him.

"They're so cute!" Mashiro cheered, holding up Yukiya. She put him in the curl of her arm and smiled sweetly. "I'm Auntie Mashiro! You are the cutest baby I've ever seen!"

Yukiya looked like he wasn't sure what to make of Mashiro… Soon, his face screwed up… and he started wailing. Mashiro's eyes widened as she started to panic.

"Oh no!" she fretted. "Don't cry! Please don't cry!"

She tried rocking him softly, but that wouldn't soothe him. Shinji was trying not to laugh at her as Mashiro started to look on the verge of tears herself.

"You're scaring him, idiot!" Hiyori yelled, ripping Yukiya away, cradling him in her arms. Her face gentled as she looked down into his worried blue eyes. "There, there… Shh… It's okay, Yukiya…"

Slowly, the baby started to calm, cries turning to whimpers as he recognized the woman holding him. Mashiro, meanwhile, was off on the side having a complete meltdown. Kensei soon got irritated at her and was yelling at her to 'shut the hell up' which, naturally, was completely ineffective.

Lisa hadn't had anywhere near that difficulty. She had cradled Enra gently from the start, letting him get to know her. She smiled warmly at him.

"He looks just like you, Shinji," she commented, her voice soft. Shinji grinned at that, a hint of pride in his gaze as he looked over his boys. "Which one is this?"

"Enra," Shinji replied, looking over them fondly for a moment, then looked over at Rose. "Are you up for a spar?"

"Are you sure that is wise around those children?" Rose asked, hesitant. Shinji grinned.

"They'll be fine… as long as Hachi puts up a barrier around us," was the suggestion. Hachi smiled.

"It would be my privilege," was the large man's answer.

* * *

Vasilysa's POV

"Welcome back, future Mrs. Hirako," teased Chizuru. I grinned and winked.

"You're just jealous that I get that gorgeous man all to myself," I teased back, making her snort.

"I'm more jealous of him," she corrected, making me laugh. I could feel Shinji grinning at that one, his amusement coursing through me.

"Where's Shinji?" Ichigo asked, stepping up. I smiled softly.

"He decided to return to home-schooling," I answered. "This class was far too easy for his advanced knowledge."

Ichigo blinked, but seemed to catch on and understand. He took his seat and I smiled at him. I then quickly wrote a note and passed it to him, explaining that the Soul Society was actually hunting Shinji and his friends because of what Sosuke had done to them and that he had to remain hidden from the Soul Society… and we had felt a Soul Reaper in town this morning. It wasn't safe for him here.

Ichigo looked up at me and nodded, understanding. I smiled again, relieved.

"By the way, is your family still coming over for supper tonight?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yuzu was rather excited about not having to cook," he replied. I chuckled. "What were you planning on for supper?"

I shrugged.

- _Make what you made me on our fifth date._ –

I chuckled softly.

"Whiskey-glazed Steak and Shoestring Potatoes sounds like a winner," I informed Ichigo. He quirked a brow at me and I giggled. "Shinji's suggestion."

Now he looked downright baffled. Laughing, I wrote down a very simple explanation about what a bond is and passed him the note, not wanting to explain that madness aloud. After a few moments, Ichigo went strawberry red, making me laugh.

"We only bonded after we met in class, Ichi," I assured him, making him look relieved, but still embarrassed. I giggled, unable to help myself.

- _I'm still not quite happy about that…_ -

I giggled softly, amused.

~ _Sorry you feel that way, luv. At least I didn't pop the boy's cherry like Kisuke and Yoruichi suggested._ ~

Immediately, a wave of pure jealousy and disbelief flowed over me.

- _THEY DID WHAT?!_ –

I started laughing. I couldn't help it. It was just too funny! Ichigo was the only one that had any idea what could possibly be so funny while everyone else looked at me like I'd lost it.

- _Forget apologizing! I'm gonna kill Kisuke!_ –

~ _Chill, luv. They only had the best intentions at heart. I was losing my mind in my heat. After having you take care of it all the time, the toys just weren't enough anymore._ ~

Almost immediately, the call bloomed through my chest, making me groan and lay my head on the desk.

~ _Why do you have to call when I'm nowhere nearby? That's just cruel and unusual punishment… ~_

 _-So is talking about toys when I don't get to use them on you._ –

I giggled helplessly… then got a filthy idea.

 _~They're all in the third drawer down of my closet organizer._ ~

Immediately, I felt fiendish glee, making me snort in laughter. I knew he would be vanishing to go through that drawer as soon as he was able.

~ _The boys?_ ~

- _Lisa and Hiyori have it handled._ –

I snorted again, knowing that meant he was already on his way to my closet.

~ _Pervert. ~_

 _-You made me this way! You can't go teasing a guy with thoughts of… oh my god… -_

I felt his surprise, disbelief, amusement, mischievousness and burning arousal all at once. I shook my head.

~ _Remind me not to bring up toys while I'm in school._ ~

He laughed at me, though his fiendish glee only grew with every new item he pulled out.

- _Love your assortment of lubes… I didn't know you bought more lingerie_. –

I shook my head.

~ _Pick one out._ ~

He grinned.

- _Gonna wear it for me?_ –

I grinned.

~ _It would look better lying on the floor after you rip it off of me._ ~

Immediately, the call burned even hotter in my chest.

~ _I'll even let you use the handcuffs and gag._ ~

Now it was like Christmas came early, making me laugh helplessly. Then, his emotions came to a screaming halt… before white-hot arousal tore through me, making me gasp and clutch the desk with white knuckles. A wicked, dark pleasure was growing in my lover.

~ _You just had to open the fourth drawer. ~_

 _-You are one kinky girl. –_

* **I call dibs on the whips and chains.** *

Immediately, Shinji soured.

- _Back in your pit, dammit! She's_ _ **my**_ _woman!_ –

* **She's** **our** **woman. I get her just as much as you do, remember?** *

His hollow grinned and sent an arousing caress through the bond.

* **I'm sure I could use all of those a hell of a lot better than you could, King.** *

"Miss Kurosaki!"

I jumped, making the class laugh. Shinji and his hollow both silenced at the reprimand. Miss Ochi was looking particularly vexed at the moment.

"Class started ten minutes ago," she told me. "Climb out of fantasy land and join the rest of us."

I blushed darkly while Shinji grinned. The class was laughing at me, minus Ichigo.

- _Oh, it's fantasy land alright. It's a wicked, sinful, devious fantasy land._ –

"Yes, ma'am," I said softly.

~ _Put a cork in it! I don't need to get into any more trouble!_ ~

He snickered, but I felt some reassurance from him.

- _Fine. I'll behave. Have fun in class._ –

I grinned.

~ _How can I? You're all the way over there._ ~

I heard him laugh, but he wisely chose not to respond.

"WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?"

A strange voice hit the air, loud and somewhat annoyed. Uryu and Ichigo seemed to recognize it.

"COME ON OUT HERE!" the voice continued to shout.

"I know that voice," Uryu announced in a low whisper, looking downright incredulous.

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI! YOU'RE UP THERE! DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE NOT!"

Everyone crowded around the window, Ichigo looking like he'd been hit by a baseball bat.

"Ichigo, you know that guy?" Keigo asked. "He's all… hippied out!"

"Hey, Ichigo!" the redhead continued to call out. Miss Ochi looked out the window.

"Oh, that's very retro," she commented. "Kurosaki, is he any—"

"Oh, a relative!" Ichigo answered, running out of the classroom. I giggled in my seat, knowing well he was _not_ related to that redhead in any way. The class continued to go berserk about our new visitor. I debated going down and introducing myself…

"Why aren't you going to greet him as well, Miss Kurosaki?" asked Miss Ochi. I got a nervous look.

"We… didn't part on the best of terms," I replied. "I'm not sure he'd want to see me."

She gave me a warm, encouraging smile.

"He's family," she told me. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. You're excused. I'll have your assignments waiting for you on my desk. Please pick them up when you're done."

"Thank you, Miss Ochi," I said, getting up and following Ichigo out the door. I giggled to myself as I saw Ichigo literally tackle the redhead and run him over into the grass, out of sight. At ease, I walked down the stairs and made my way towards them.

"—and now I'm in charge," the redhead was saying.

"You are, are you?" asked Ichigo, seeming less than impressed.

"Yeah," the redhead replied confidently.

"You're just a lieutenant," Ichigo mocked.

"Enough, Ichi," I cut in, startling both of them. "Are you going to introduce me? After all, according to Miss Ochi, I'm your sister and, since you introduced this guy as your relative, I kinda have to know him, too."

Ichigo actually flushed in embarrassment… and so did the redhead.

"I'm the Lieutenant of Squad Six, Renji Abarai," the redhead stated.

"Vasilysa Kurosaki," I introduced back. "Formerly Akalia Kuchiki of Squad Five."

His brows shot up at my last name.

"It's a long and involved story," I said with a sigh, dragging my fingers through my hair. "How is Ginrei?"

"Byakuya is the Captain now," Renji told me, making me freeze in place.

"Byakuya became the Captain, huh?" I thought aloud.

- _The whole Soul Society doomed itself with that one. –_

 _~Be nice. He's no longer just a boy. For all we know, he could have changed for the better since then. After all, according to Isshin, he married a woman from the Rukon… and lost her to disease five years later. He's not the same arrogant boy we remember._ ~

"Shinji?" asked Ichigo. I smiled softly and nodded.

"We knew Byakuya way back when," I explained. "I'd like to believe he's changed a lot from the boy he used to be…"

I sighed softly.

"Why are you here now, Renji?" I asked softly. "Karakura Town already has one Soul Reaper guarding it. A second is a waste. What was the meaning behind the madness?"

"I was sent here because Ichigo is leaking reiatsu like an open faucet," he replied, jerking his thumb at the orangette.

"He has been poorly trained in the reiatsu control department," I conceded. "However, if he's anything like his father, that's not going to be one of his strong points. It's nothing to get worked up over, Ichi."

Said orangette was getting more and more irritated by the minute. Abruptly, a loud wail hit the air.

"Hollow! Hollow! Hollow!"

Ichigo's badge began to go crazy!

"That's what I was telling you," Renji stated. Then we all heard the roar. Nearby, a black shape landed on the ground.

"It's a hollow," Ichigo said softly.

"Stating the obvious," I teased. Then I noted Renji was having trouble. "You _do_ recall that exiting a gigai without Gikongan is nearly impossible without brute force, right?"

He growled, flushing in embarrassment.

"Ichigo, you'll have to do it!" Renji told him. Thus, just barely in time, Ichigo slipped out of his body and killed the hollow. I shook my head.

"You guys really need to work on that, hun," I stated calmly.

"Good job," Renji stated, finally free of his gigai.

"Cut the crap," Ichigo shot back, leaping over the bushes and going back to his body. "Don't just leave your body lying around like that! Hurry up and put it on!"

"I don't wanna go back in, I just got out of it!" he protested. Ichigo quickly sank back into his own, then whirled on Renji, getting right into his face.

"Now listen up!" he growled at the redhead. "I don't want you coming around my school, you got that?"

"Yeah, but—"

"You got that?!" Ichigo repeated. I shook my head at them both and walked away, heading back to class.

~ _I give up on teenagers… ~_

 _-Are you forgetting we're going to have four of them in fifteen years?_ –

I groaned.

~ _Don't remind me._ ~

He laughed.

* * *

"Finally, school's out!"

I laughed and let my lover pull me into a loving kiss, right outside the school gates. I gladly returned the kiss, much to the catcalls and jeers of our classmates. He grinned at me.

"The boys?" I asked.

"They're with Lisa and Hiyori at home," he replied. "I believe we need to shop for supper… and I brought a few things with me…"

I snorted.

"Those things wouldn't happen to have come from drawers three and four, would they?" I asked. He grinned.

"You bet," he replied, then picked me up and flashed me back to his apartment, making me laugh.

* * *

Hiyori and Lisa had stayed for supper, helping keep the boys settled while Yuzu and I cooked. This was a new recipe that I was glad to teach her—and she was eager to learn.

Pre-supper had been hilarious and that was putting it mildly. Isshin had constantly tried to attack Ichigo (which had startled the Visords at first). Karin, Yuzu, and I were more than used to it and simply ignored it… at least until the boys started to get fussy because of it.

"Enough!" I called out, my voice cutting through the room like a knife. Even my boys fell silent. It was a rather dark tone I rarely used. Isshin and Ichigo had frozen in mid-fight. "You're upsetting the boys and I will not have you acting like toddlers in my home. Take it outside or act your age."

Both men paled and quickly backed off of each other.

"Yes, ma'am," they chorused, sitting down on the couch like kids that had just been scolded by their mother. I nodded and turned back to the feast Yuzu and I had made.

"Ichigo, set the table, please," I called. Said man quickly came to get the plates and silverware while Shinji and Isshin extended the table, putting the leaf in. Once it was set, Yuzu helped me carry the food to the table.

"Wow!" Isshin praised. "This looks delicious!"

I chuckled.

"Wait until you taste it," Shinji stated, pulling me down to sit right next to him, stealing a kiss along the way. I chuckled and kissed him back before we turned to the meal before us.

"The rare steaks are on the left and the medium rare on the right," I told them. "Take your pick and eat until you're full."

"You've really outdone yourself," Isshin praised, tears streaming down his face comically after the first bite. "Ichigo! Why couldn't you have married Vasilysa?"

Immediately, I felt Shinji's jealousy, but I also felt great embarrassment. Both Ichigo and I turned red (him worse than me). Ichigo immediately started yelling at his Dad in some form of protest. I was just mortified.

~ _Not this again… Isshin, I'm going to kill you… ~_

 _-Again?_ –

I gave Shinji a rueful smile.

~ _He's done this every day since I first stepped into that house. He keeps spouting damned praises of my abilities and motherly nature while Ichigo, poor, poor Ichigo, gets so damned flustered it just ends in a fist-fight. It's normal. Don't bother getting jealous or worked up over it._ ~

He was still jealous and I rolled my eyes. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and jerked him into a kiss. His surprise didn't last but a few moments as he returned it, his jealousy easing a bit.

"Chill," I told him again, releasing him and returning to my food. When Ichigo and Isshin raised their fists, I glared, clearing my throat… and they both froze, paling again. "One more time… and _I'll_ finish the fight, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," they answered, hanging their heads. I shook my head as a mild sense of normalcy began again. This time, the two were smart and didn't start up again. Supper then passed peacefully, Karin inviting Shinji and I to her upcoming game on Saturday. I had smiled and promised we'd be there, making her smile back. Yuzu asked me to teach her some new recipes and I agreed, telling her that we could cook together once a week for a while. I knew Isshin considered me to really be part of the family, which just warmed my heart, as I'm sure this interaction with his family did.

"Ichigo, Shinji, we'll leave dishes to you," I stated in a tone that booked no argument.

"What?!" Shinji protested. I gave him an amused look.

~ _I'm sure I can make it up to you later._ ~

He grinned immediately.

"Let's go, Ichigo," he said, gathering up the dishes. I giggled and shook my head. I knew he knew how much his response had amused me, too, if his shit-eating grin wasn't a dead giveaway.

~ _We forgot to thank Kisuke. ~_

 _-We can do it tomorrow afterschool. –_

 _~True._ ~

"Will you two knock it off with the damn bond thing?" Ichigo griped, making Shinji grin and me laugh.

"Yeah, we can," I replied, walking over to take my boys so I could feed them. Both Hiyori and Lisa were reluctant to let go of them, which was amusing in itself.

~ _By the way, have you felt that strange energy in town as of late?_ ~

Shinji grinned teasingly.

- _What happened to stopping the bond thing?_ –

He then got serious.

- _Yeah, I've felt it. What do you think it is?_ –

~ _Nothing I've ever felt before… This has the Research and Development Department written all over it… I'll bet Kisuke knows… and will probably be preparing Ichigo soon to face it head on. I'm useless at this time so I doubt he'll clue me in._ ~

That startled my mate, getting him worried a moment later.

- _You're useless?_ –

~ _Babes of Halflings can only grow properly when supplied with a constant source of reiatsu. The babes I now carry are devouring mine. In time, my body will no longer produce enough to sustain us and we could all three of us die… thus, Kisuke made me a reiatsu ring. It supplements my reiatsu with someone else's. Back then, I didn't have you to use for a source, so Sosuke infused it. Our boys were raised on his reiatsu and recognize it. To them, it feels like home_. ~

I felt Shinji's ire at that as well as his grudging acceptance.

~ _I will use that ring again when these two are far enough along._ ~

I felt his anger grow.

~ _I'd rather devour some of his reiatsu to weaken him and keep him at a weakened state than allow him to be at full strength when the final battle_ _ **does**_ _come, given it comes within the next year, as I suspect. Of course, knowing Sosuke, once he feels the pull of my babes, he won't go into battle until this pregnancy has also passed. You need all of your strength, Shinji… or I_ _ **would**_ _use you._ ~

He still didn't like it.

- _You've stayed in contact with him?_ –

His tone was bitter. I frowned at him.

~ _My memories showed you that, did they not? Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer, Shinji. I need him to trust me. I need him when I can see him. I need to know what he's up to before he does it. It should be a lifetime requirement in his case. As it is, I do need to break down and tell him I'm expecting again, if he doesn't already know. I don't want to surprise him with an abrupt drain on his energy. I can only imagine how badly he would react to that._ ~

He sighed, looking back at me. I could feel the loathing inside of him.

* **Let the bastard be weak. It will make it easier to destroy him.** *

- _And if he chooses to postpone the battle?_ –

~ _Use that time to train Ichigo properly and make yourselves even stronger. You will need all the time you can be given… and so will the boy._ ~

He sighed.

* **He's taken everything from us. Let him be the one to give us something for once. Let him be the horse for our little Kings and Queens. It will only serve to make them that much stronger.** *

~ _Agreed._ ~

Shinji sighed again, not liking this one bit. So, I decided to ignore him for a bit and pulled out my special cell. I smiled softly and sent a bit of energy to Ulquiorra and soon got a gentle response. I felt my heart warm for him… and sent him the update on my health. In moments, I felt his congratulations and his blessings. Then I took the cell in my hand and texted Sosuke.

 _Me: Thought I'd let you know, I found Shinji and made up with him. Your informant was wrong. He wasn't dead at all. My timer's gone and I'm expecting again._

I was promptly answered.

 _Sosuke: I see._ _Congratulations. Will you be needing to use that ring again?_

I smiled softly, glad of his concern… though I soon felt Shinji's ire at my softness towards this man.

 _Me: Yes. I will have to use it. Do you mind? It won't be needed for at least two months, but… I hope it doesn't drain you too much… You're in Hueco Mundo after all. It's not the best place to be weakened…_

 _Sosuke: Trust me, I'll be fine. I had hoped you would use it again. Please, never lose it. Use it whenever you need to._

I felt a surge of warmth go through me at his kindness… and Shinji finally lost his cool, a glass shattering in his hand. Everyone jumped while I felt a bit of guilt seep into me.

 _Me: Thank you. I'll keep you posted as things go along. I gotta go. Kids need fed._

 _Sosuke: Take care of those boys. I hope to see you again soon._

And I put the cell away, finishing the feeding of my boys. Once that was done, I walked over to Shinji and pulled him down the hall to our room. Wordlessly, I sat him down and then grabbed my med kit. I said not a word as I started removing the shards of glass from his blood-soaked hand. All the while, I kept getting smothered by Shinji's poorly contained outrage and hatred, let alone his jealousy and possessiveness. It only made the guilt I felt even greater, nearly choking me… which only seemed to irritate him more… So, I did the best thing I could right now.

I severed the connection, closing my end of the bond. Immediately, his eyes widened in shock and his whole body jerked at the abrupt end of my emotions and thoughts.

"W-what—"

"I really don't feel like crying right now, but you're pushing me towards it," I told him simply, refusing to meet his gaze. "I feel guilty enough having a soft spot for Sosuke without you bombarding me with your negative emotions about it."

Now his eyes got a bit of guilt to them.

"I'll restore the connection from my end when I'm ready to deal with your disdain again and not a moment before," I stated, using Kido to heal his wounds. When I was done, I simply got up and collected the med kit. I paused in the doorway, my back to him. "I know you have no control over your emotions, Shinji… but you have to keep in mind that I was never as suspicious of Sosuke as you were. I was never directly betrayed by him as you were. As much as it kills me sometimes, I'm at constant war within myself where he is concerned. I often fight to separate the man that is my friend from the monster I _know_ he has become… Please, stop making this even harder on me…"

I felt the tears as they started slipping down my cheeks, the pain in my chest nearly engulfing me, as I then forced myself back down the hallway and into the kitchen. There, I wordlessly helped Ichigo finish the dishes. Ichigo got concerned the moment he saw my face.

"Vasilysa—"

I held up a single hand and he stopped, understanding. So, we finished up in silence while I got a grip on my emotions. A soft caress startled me until I realized I had accidentally sent my inner-turmoil to Ulquiorra through his bracelet. I winced and sent back an apology. All I got in reply was a small wave of comfort, telling me it was quite alright. After that, I looked at Ichigo.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you like," I told him. "But I need some time alone. I'll be back later."

He looked worried, but didn't stop me, just nodded, accepting. So, I dropped my gigai and vanished into the night, far from my apartment. I didn't stop until I reached an island just off the coast.

"Ulquiorra, I need you."

Moments later, a garganta opened behind me. I felt him sit next to me and wordlessly pull me into a hug. I gratefully accepted it… and my emotions broke my hold once more, his shirt getting soaked by my tears.

"Your mate bond is closed," he noted. "He was hurting you."

"He didn't mean to," I defended pathetically. I knew it was trivial to Ulquiorra whether Shinji meant to or not. To him, it would simply be that the man had hurt me. "We just… we live on opposite poles of emotion where Sosuke is concerned."

Ulquiorra thought that over for a moment.

"You do not hate Lord Aizen."

I shook my head.

"But your mate does and expects you to."

I nodded.

"Why do you not hate him as well?"

I sighed.

"Because he has never been someone _to_ hate," I replied.

Ulquiorra gave me a blank stare, telling me I needed to explain.

"For Shinji, he has been both deceived and betrayed by Sosuke," I explained. "He has been used and abused by his hand, manipulated and emasculated. I have suffered _no_ ill effects from Sosuke whatsoever. I haven't suffered one iota at his hand, only ever found calm and relief. I find happiness when I'm with Sosuke… and peace of mind. I can trust him to always be there when I need him, to always be willing to help when things get rough… Sosuke has been a rock I leaned on for years… I just… I _can't_ hate him… though I know I probably should…"

I shook my head, then pulled my legs up against my chest, crossing my arms on my knees as I leaned my head on them.

"I'm so lost and confused right now… I don't know what to do or think…" I admitted softly, feeling the tears stinging my eyes again. "I knew Shinji would react badly the first time I contacted Sosuke after our bond was formed… but I had no idea it would be this bad…"

"He was smothering you."

I nodded, glancing over at him. Even sitting here, on the ground, Ulquiorra still managed to come off as some kind of noble. He still managed to look so regal and put-together…

 **Master… you need to let Shinji back in. He's nearby, hovering and worried. He's far enough away that he's respecting the conversation, far enough away not to hear a word, but he's still worried… and guilty.**

~ _Been talking to Sakanade again, have you?_ ~

 **Master…**

I sighed and slowly opened the bond. As soon as I did, I felt his worry melt into relief, then felt his apology. I sighed again, still upset with him, though I knew it wasn't his fault.

- _Please, don't shut me out again. That was horrible! It was like losing an arm!_ –

I frowned.

~ _I won't as long as you don't push me to it or it isn't necessary. ~_

 _-Necessary?_ –

I could feel his wariness.

- _I thought this bond was to eliminate all secrets between us…_ -

I sighed.

~ _It would… but if the time comes that I need you to be as unknowledgeable as everyone else, I will shut you out for a time._ ~

That upset him, but he quickly pushed that away.

- _Give me an example._ –

A vision answered for me.

" **Are you ready?" Ulquiorra asked me. I nodded, looking in the mirror. I was dressed in a halter-top uniform, a complete mockery of the Soul Reaper uniform as it was white where it was black. "You know what you have to do."**

 **I nodded again.**

 **~Shinji, I'm closing the bond now. ~**

 **I could feel his worry and uncertainty.**

 **-Come back to me as soon as you're done. I don't want to be parted from you longer than I must. –**

 **I smiled softly, letting my love surge through the bond.**

 **-Good luck learning your Bankai. –**

And the vision ended. Ulquiorra easily caught me, having me lean back against him as I caught my breath.

"Vision?" he asked. I nodded.

"I will learn Bankai," I told him. "And you'll be there to help me."

His eyes gentled even the tiniest amount, just for me, the barest hint of a smile on his face… and it warmed my heart to see it, to know that he would allow himself to show such emotion just for me.

Shinji, however, was resigned. He wasn't happy about it… but he understood.

- _Durnehviir must have a good reason for you to not share your Bankai's ability with me._ –

 **I always have good reasons for my actions… and I can assure you that vision is true. My master's Bankai will be most effective against Sosuke Aizen… but only as long as no one but her knows what it can do, minus those she chooses to use it upon.**

~ _I'm going to assume that's something I'll come to understand in time._ ~

 **Yes, Master. Shinji, no offense, must remain as clueless as Sosuke… or the latter will become suspicious of the unprecedented calm… the calm before the storm.**

I'll admit, that peaked my curiosity, but I pushed it aside… until my cell started going berserk. I jerked it out and answered.

"Ichigo, what's up?" I asked, confused.

"Orihime's been kidnapped!" he replied, making my eyes widen and my heart stop.

"Tell me everything," I ordered.

"There was a strange energy near her and then she disappeared through a gate before it vanished completely!" he replied.

Immediately, I felt a sort of calm come over me.

~ _This sounds eerily familiar…_ ~

Shinji was confused.

"Search for her, but I doubt you'll find any sign of her," I told Ichigo.

"What do you mean?"

"From where I'm sitting, I can tell you she's vanished completely," I stated. "You can search all night and all day, but you won't find her this way. Something else is going on."

"Is it Aizen?"

"I doubt it. It doesn't feel like him… I think this one is a great deal closer to home… Keep me posted. I'd help but…"

"No power, right," Ichigo said, sounding a bit guilty. "I forgot. Sorry."

I chuckled.

"It's fine," I assured him. "Keep your eyes peeled and don't lose your head. Stay calm."

"Right," he said, then hung up. I shook my head with a chuckle.

~ _This has Kisuke written all over it._ ~

That surprised Shinji.

"Why are you not concerned?" Ulquiorra asked. "Is she not your friend?"

I gave him a wry grin.

"This is too coincidental and well thought out," I replied. "This is also something a great deal more playful than something Sosuke would come up with. That means it is someone that means to merely get their attention. I bet, before this is over, a lesson will be learned. That screams at me just who is behind this."

"And you won't tell the boy anything?"

I chuckled.

"No," I replied. "If I give him the ending, what's the point in reading the book?"

The world's tiniest smile tugged at his lips, making me chuckle again. I leaned up and kissed his cheek, getting those emeralds to look at me.

"Thanks for always being there, Ulqui," I said softly. He sighed and looked away from me.

"Someone has to be," he stated simply. "You are so much more than you seem and should _never_ be left alone."

I smiled at first… then got a tad upset, recalling a vision I'd had before.

 _Ulquiorra stood there in a form I'd never seen. I could not hear the words again (much to my frustration), but I saw Ichigo transform before my eyes, turn into something that looked more Hollow than human… before he attacked. Above them, Orihime was in tears, watching this battle in growing horror._

I felt my heart sink.

"Ulqui…"

He heard the depression in my voice, his gaze turning to me from the corner of his eyes.

"You're going to die soon."

Now I had his full attention.

"You know what that means."

He nodded, a more serious look on his features than I'd ever seen before. Shinji, however, was now completely lost.

- _What does it mean?_ –

I frowned.

"Do you have a plan?" Ulquiorra asked.

"If what Durnehviir told me about my Bankai is true, then yes, I have a plan," I replied.

 **Of course, it is true, my master.**

"Yes," I said, a great deal more sure now. "I have a plan for that."

I met those dark green eyes.

"But I'll have to ask you to blindly trust me."

~ _You, too, Shinji. This is something I cannot share with you, not yet. I will the moment I can_. ~

I felt Shinji's irritation… then felt him grudgingly accept it.

"I can do that, just this once," Ulquiorra told me. "You have never deceived me without a good reason before."

I smiled softly and hugged him again.

"Thank you, Ulquiorra," I said softly. He sighed and hugged me back for a moment.

"I need to head back," he told me. "I'll leave you in the hands of your mate."

I felt my heart sink a little.

- _You don't need to worry about Ulquiorra. He'll be fine._ –

I felt mild amusement before my worry grew again.

~ _I will always worry, much like I worry about you all the time. I will never stop worrying until I no longer have to worry about him… probably not until long after I'm gone from this world._ ~

Ulquiorra quickly took the garganta and left, making me sigh. Moments later, Shinji wrapped his arms around me… and I leaned back into his embrace.

- _Aizen really has you torn up, doesn't he?_ –

I sighed.

~ _Yes… and probably always will, even long after he's finally been dealt with… I'm still torn up over Kit. I imagine Sosuke will be much the same…_ ~

Shinji sighed. I could feel how badly that sat with him, but I could also feel his grudging acceptance of it.

- _At least once Aizen is dealt with, our lives will get easier._ –

My immediate feeling of rue made him tense.

~ _No, Shinji… Sosuke is only the beginning._ ~

* * *

 **As usual, I request reviews to let me know how I'm doing. I love hearing from you and getting your input. As soon as I can, I'll continue the story. Working on rewriting a few parts to make them less... confusing.**

 **Viper-Sindel**


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